


Falling Apart At The Core

by VesselOfLucifer (FayTheGay)



Series: Falling [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Angel Meg, Angel Wings, Angels, Angst, Apocalypse, Archangels, Archangels are powerful, BAMF Dean Winchester, Child Archangels, Dark Castiel, Dean doesn't like Gabriel, Demons, Envious Sam, F/F, F/M, Fallen Angel Sam, First Kiss, Gen, Heaven, Hell, Human Castiel, Human Gabriel, Hunter Castiel, Hunter Gabriel, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry Sam, It's Cas not Cass, Lucifer Being a Dick, M/M, Mentions Of Angelcest, Mentions of Suicide, Minor Character Death, Omnisexual Gabriel, Original Character(s), Pagan God Dean, Past Rape/Non-con, Pre-Apocalypse, Purgatory, Raphael Being a Dick, Sabriel - Freeform, Sad Ending, Sam likes gummy worms, Sambriel, Suicide, Supernatural Reverseverse, Temporary Amnesia, Temporary Character Death, Torture, Tortured Sam, Weakened Archangel, Where is Michael?, White-Eyed Demons, accidental suicide attempt, background megstiel, i suck at fluff, olympus, only temporarily, poorly interpreted mythology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 22:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 108,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8865367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FayTheGay/pseuds/VesselOfLucifer
Summary: Samuel had tried to do the right thing. Destroy Lilith, protect the world. That had been the theory. In reality, destroying Lilith might've been the biggest mistake any angel ever made. It was a mistake that would more than likely cost the world, assuming the other wildcards didn't destroy it first.





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing except my original concepts! If it seems canon it probably is canon and belongs to Kripke and all those amazing beautiful people.
> 
> Note that I chose not to archive warnings. I don't like spoiling with archive warnings. You've been warned.
> 
> WARNING:
> 
> Due to one of the aspects of this story suicide is mentioned many times and from most of our angels' perspectives it is an okay option for their situation or a coward's choice. This does not reflect my views in any way, shape, or form. Please understand this.
> 
> Unlike the first story I'm not going to be quite as careful about violence. I'll try to remember my warnings though.
> 
> This story is Sabriel driven. A few other ships are toyed with but not majorly important. Don't expect sappy romance.
> 
> Character & Character relationships are different then Character/Character
> 
> Be warned, Supernatural, which means, the probability for sappy happy ending is very unlikely. Especially since I don't really write them anyway.

 

.-~*~-.

" _The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire."_

~Ferdinand Foch

.-~*~-.

Every angel has one Soul they are destined to protect. Every single angel has a single Soul that belongs to them in all the most sacred ways. The problem is there was only one single Soul that belongs to them. Once that Soul has traveled to Heaven the angel is expected to return to work. Do as their told without mourning the loss of what was theirs. For that angel this Soul shines bright in its own way. It fuels the angel. The angel feeds off that, falls in love with it. Every single time.

Except it is far from that simple. That is what most all of Heaven believes. That they fall in love with it. It's a rumor that is spread so far through Heaven that it's believed to be a fact. Yes, they usually do grow to love their Soul. In the start however, they do not. They are intoxicated by power, drugged by it. Most angels never realize this. There is no reason for them to know. Knowing just makes it more complicated. The angels that do know, they suffer more, they go further than any of the others, because they understand. They understand how real it is. These are the angels that Fall harder than the others. That Fall for all of the right, or wrong, reasons. They Fall because it's their choice.

Samuel had once been a simple angel. An angel that avoided Earth. An angel afraid to Fall. At one point, he had been Samuel, Angel of The Lord, Warrior of Heaven, Unofficial Keeper of The Graveyard. That had been then. Back then, Samuel had done everything he could do to avoid Earth. Everything he could do to avoid Falling. Now though. Now he very well may have Fallen further than any other angel in existence.

Samuel had not only killed another angel's Soul. Samuel had crossed a line that no other angel ever had. Samuel had destroyed Lilith. Samuel had destroyed Lucifer's Soul.

Maybe he had earned his punishment.

Pure raw terror tore through him as Lucifer's icy corrupt Grace reached out and grabbed his barely functional wings. Oh had he tried to flee. How he'd tried to escape. It had been a mistake. A terrible mistake.

' _Lucifer, I'm sorry!'_ He cried out as his elder brother pulled him back to the church. He hadn't stood a chance.

' _I will enact my vengeance for this. The world will suffer for what you have done, Samuel."_ Lucifer's threat rang out across all of the angels. Samuel fought and writhed against Lucifer's corrupt and broken Grace as an Archangel's Blade was plunged into his wing, pinning him there and leaving him at the mercy of his angry, mourning, brother.

Samuel could only pray to an absent Father for mercy. For death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my Twitter account [@IAmFayTheGay](https://twitter.com/iamfaythegay) you can follow for updates on all things to do with my writing and all that. It’s focused on that so you can find the information there. 
> 
> Also, I have been dabbling music edits for SPN which exist under [The Archangel of Life](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnPTsdSg6xfJDFhEvzMJ5qA) on YouTube 
> 
> If you have ever heard of the Discord app then awesome, if you haven't, then you should get it. Technically it's directed at gamers but I created a community on it for SPN fans. The permanent invite is [HERE](https://discord.gg/5UnfnzU). Hope to see you there!


	2. 1: Well That Went Well

Gabriel was in great shape. Ship shape. If that ship was the Titanic. After it crashed. And spent a hundred plus years decaying and rotting.

Okay, fine. He was in terrible shape. Other than getting up to rob Bobby's liquor stash and use the bathroom, Gabriel hadn't left his room in a week. None of them had considered it. Not a single one of them. Except that bitch demon. Oh, he wanted to murder her. The only reason that piece of shit demon was still alive was because Castiel had drug him out of the basement screaming.

_.-~*~-._

_Gabriel struggled to throw open the panic room door, finding the demon sitting at the far end of the room with an innocent smile on her face as she picked at the rough stitches Dean had given her through her clothes. The rough stitches holding her innards inside. She was wearing that God awful neon yellow dress that Dean had gotten from the offerings. That encounter had been uncomfortable but neutral. This wasn't. Lucifer was free and Balthazar had told them exactly why. He had Sam. Fuck. Lucifer had Sam._

" _Did you know?" Gabriel demanded of the demon. That_ thing _was wearing Dalara's pale blue eyes. Eyes she had no right to. This creature was a demon. It had been a stupid decision to trust her._

" _I didn't know." The demon shifted, rising to her feet and stepping forward, tilting her head and eying him curiously, "I guessed."_

" _Why the_ fuck _didn't you suggest it!" He shouted as he closed the short distance between them, grabbing her shoulder and shoving her roughly against the wall. It didn't matter. Not then. All that mattered was an answer._

 _The demon shrugged casually, meeting his gaze and barely flinching under the contact. "You didn't ask. If you'd asked. I would've said, 'hey, halfwits. Doesn't it seem odd that this all lined out so perfectly? That I got away from fucking_ Alistair _with my organs mostly intact?'"_

_The first punch he threw left him feeling slightly guilty. He had a rule to never punch women. Or generally humans. Of course, Dalara had tempted him herself when she'd drug him unwillingly to Hell so that first punch was more than fair compensation. The ones that followed though? The ones that the demon laughed and taunted him through, they were something else entirely. They were his anger escaping him. Arms wrapped around him and he shouted incoherently as his brother forcibly drug him from the panic room._

" _Break his nose, Gabe! Hurt your baby bro just like you hurt me!" The demon shouted from where she was laying broken and bloody on the floor, a deranged laugh escaping her._

" _Let me go! Cas! Fucking let me go! She caused this! She did this!" The door was closed by Dean who watched him mournfully as Cas drug him up the stairs._

_.-~*~-._

Gabriel shoved out of the bed and stumbled to the door, throwing it open to see a startled looking Cas standing there, his hand raised to knock.

"Mo'e." He ordered, his words not coming out quite as coherent as he wished. His brother, the little ass, crossed his arms and shook his head. "Mo'e. N'w. 'm leavin'."

"No. You aren't."

"'less you've go' Sam or-"

"Sam is with _Lucifer_ , Gabriel. Do you understand this? Drinking is not going to help the situation."

"Says mrliquorstore." Gabriel responded as he tried, and failed, to push past his brother. A glance to his right and he saw the last creature on the planet he wanted to see.

"Dean, can you?" A snap of fingers and Gabriel was painfully coherent again. A flood of anger soared through him and he shot an angry glare at Dean who ignored it. "Lucifer is free."

"I know, Cas. We're fucked. Game over. Pretty soon Mikey and Luci are gonna be banging on the door asking for a 'yes'." He shot a look at his brother.

"And you aren't going to consent, Gabriel." Dean warned, earning a snort from the increasingly angry Gabriel.

"Why does it matter, Dean?"

"You'll say 'yes'?" The god asked, stepping forward. Gabriel met his gaze without flinching. Dean had said it himself. He was limited on power until he could figure out how to use Pagan airlines. He wasn't going to throw him around using magic and Gabriel was more than ready for a physical fight.

"Why does it matter? I say 'yes', the party gets started and maybe Cassie doesn't get jumped by Luci. There's no loss in this situation." Gabriel shrugged it off, earning one of the most angry looks he'd ever seen on Dean's face. It also set him off that Dean didn't grab the bait and punch him. Instead he was thrown back in the room, flailing desperately as he hit the bed.

"Dean!"

The god shoved past his brother, glaring furiously at him.

"If you wanted to get me in bed, you should've just asked." He jibed but yet again Dean didn't bite. The walls lit up with a dull green glow as a metal cuff attached to a chain that ran down under the bed appeared on his ankle. It didn't pass Gabriel's notice that Dean paled slightly at the usage of his magic.

"You're a stupid son of a bitch." Dean told him seriously.

"Don't talk about my mom that way." Gabriel warned and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Saying 'yes' won't solve any problems. You say 'yes', Michael and Lucifer fry half the planet. Until you get that through your thick skull, you're on lockdown."

"Sure you can afford that, Arty?" Gabriel taunted bitterly. He was trying to pick a fight, a fight was something he could seek an escape in, an escape from the shitty dreams and the hellish reality that they'd all but sent Sam to his torture. "Unless Cas is getting down on his knees for you, which I seriously doubt considering he's got a nice little Meg sized hole, you're not getting much power."

"Talk to your brother before I kill him." Dean snapped at Cas as he turned, Gabriel pushed himself off the bed, ignoring the irritating feeling of the metal cuff digging into his ankle.

"You wouldn't kill little Sammy's Soul, Dean-o. You'd rather send one of the less important little siblings to do it for you."

There it was. Dean spun in the doorframe and crossed the room in a second, grabbing Gabriel and throwing him into the wall earning a shout of pain from the hunter. Maybe this wasn't his best move. Really, he knew better, but- Dean grabbed him by the front of his shirt again, lifting him and pinning him to the wall. "Fuck. You." The god pulled back his hand and punched him square in the jaw, Gabriel didn't flinch. His pain tolerance was stupidly high ever since his return from Hell. If he focused on it. The more he sank into that, the more he understood why Dalara had held herself together so much with her ridiculously lethal injuries. "I didn't _want_ Sam to go. Don't you _dare_ pin that on me! In case you've forgotten, _Gabriel._ Sam was the strongest being in that room. I agreed because I knew that he was stupid enough to do it either way. You've known him for a fragment of the time I've known him. Don't you dare put that on me you son of a bitch. Don't you dare." Dean dropped him and disappeared from the room, much to Gabriel's disappointment healing the injury he'd caused. Dean might've given him the satisfaction of snapping but he clearly wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of the residual pain from making him snap. Gabriel pushed himself to his feet, watching his brother watch him silently from the door in a painfully calculating gaze.

"Say it." Gabriel said blandly as he returned to the bed, sitting and crossing his legs so he could investigate the

"This isn't about Sam. No matter your feelings for him, you wouldn't be sulking."

"Why would you think something like that?" He bit back, wishing his brother would stop reading him like a book.

"You didn't really want to kill Lilith. That isn't it either. No. You're upset because we didn't win. You're upset because Lucifer is free. Which is a fair thing to be upset about. What I can't figure out is why you would give consent."

Gabriel leaned back, shutting his eyes. "I didn't want to be involved in this to begin with, Cas. I didn't want the end of the world sitting on my shoulders. On our shoulders. Now it is. Now we're so royally fucked it isn't even funny. I'm sick of it. I have been for a while."

"If you say 'yes', Gabriel. I'll say 'yes'. If we both say 'yes', Michael and Lucifer will destroy the planet." Cas told him grimly. Gabriel jerked upright and stared after his brother with a bit of admiration though also a heavy amount of anger.

"Castiel!" He shouted as he jumped off the bed, storming to the doorframe and- he shot an angry look down at his chained ankle.

"I am not going to fight with you." His brother said from just outside the door, his words fading.

"Let me out of here!" He demanded, getting no response he huffed out an angry sigh and began making his way around the room, searching for anything he could use to begin his escape.

.-~*~-.

Castiel made his way down into the basement, pulling open the door on the panic room to see the demon sitting there. He knew he wasn't going to get anywhere with Gabe. Not for the time being. His brother was being a stubborn ass and there wasn't anything he could do about it. Maybe if he could fix something that had gone wrong that day, his brother would see reason. Maybe.

"You here to beat my face in too?" The demon asked sweetly from the center of the room, her face still as battered and bruised as it had been when he'd been forced to drag his brother out of the panic room what felt like years previous.

"I thought demons could heal their vessels." After dealing with Gabriel, this demon wouldn't be able to come close to getting under his skin.

"I thought you hated me."

He narrowed his eyes at her as she rose to her feet, "I don't hate Dalara. You, I should exorcise and send you to Hell. I don't know Dalara, just the stories."

"You really should exorcise me, Castiel Novak. So why haven't you?" The demon met his gaze, approaching him curiously.

"You told Gabe that when you healed she'd come back. Why do you still have black eyes?"

"I told him when _Nex_ healed me, she'd come back. Nex has kept her alive for years. Kept me locked away nice and tight."

"That doesn't make sense." Castiel said, thinking it over. It made no sense. Demons were, by all technicalities, corrupt human souls. There shouldn't have been a possible way for her to be both at once. Either she was human, or she was a demon, right?

"Do you remember what Debriel did to you, Castiel Novak? Do you know why he did it? I do. I know all those dirty little secrets. Nex told me more than any other creature on the planet because she trusted me. Because, whether I'd admit it or not, I trusted her. Because I saw her as my only friend in this fucked up world."

"Yet she left out that she was freeing Lucifer." Castiel stated blandly, trying not to think about what Dean had done.

Dalara's smile twisted up cruelly, "Of course she was manipulating the hell outta me. Which I can respect. I don't imagine it was a coincidence I met you two halfwits. It doesn't mean she didn't trust you. Do you know what that demon did to you? The one that murdered Mrs. Terra Novak? I could tell you. I could explain to you why your mother died. I could tell you about The Devil's Gate and I could tell you what would've happened to you if Debriel hadn't butted his nose in where it didn't belong. I can tell you why you and me aren't that different. Dalara, no, you and her have nothing in common. You and me though? Demon Dalara and Castiel Novak? The things me and you could've done if Dean hadn't shoved his face where it didn't belong."

That set something off in him as he stepped forward, shoving her backwards and sending her falling flat on her ass. "I am _nothing_ like you. You're-"

"Tainted? Demonic? Say it, Castiel. Call me a demon. Call me _exactly what I am._ At least I'm willing to see that. At least I'm willing to accept that. You have _no idea_ what's inside you. Dalara couldn't see it. I can though. I can see it clear as day. Your Soul is a foul thing. It's got demonic taint seeping through it, just waiting to corrupt you. You might fight to be the good guy, at least I know what I am. At least Dalara knew what she was. She knew that no matter how much good she tried to do, deep down, she was twisted and broken beyond repair. All because of Heaven and its shit God. What happened to you is the same. You're corrupted beyond repair. Maybe you don't have my black eyes but you do have enough taint on your Soul to be able to sport your own if you simply try. It isn't your fault either. That's the worst part about it. Dalara might've thrown herself into the frying pan but it was forced on you. I pity you, Castiel Novak. When the time comes. And it will. You'll begin to understand that that darkness in you, it can be used for good, or it can be used to wipe out humanity. Lucifer will make that choice for you."

Castiel spun around and stormed out, fighting back the twisting in his gut caused by her words. The same thing he'd heard over and over again. He was tainted, corrupted. Everything she'd said was painfully true as well. If Gabriel said 'yes' he would hold his promise true and he'd tell the devil 'yes'. He wasn't going to let Gabriel sacrifice himself just to end it. Suicidal behavior just didn't work for him. Sighing, he went to the study. He'd find something in one of Bobby's books. Anything to get Sam away from Lucifer. In fact…he grabbed a pile of books before beginning the trip upstairs. Gabriel could help get his boyfriend back.

.-~*~-.

Dean stumbled slightly when he landed, taking in his surroundings and grimacing. Greece. Talk about his luck. Why the hell was this so difficult? He'd been using god magic it to manipulate things for years and yet-

"You aren't surviving _with_ it." Dean spun around and stared for a moment at the smiling form of Apollo. All long golden hair and attractiveness that might've interested Dean if he hadn't pretended to be the god's sister for years. The most interesting thing was how heavily cloaked in god magic he was. Where the hell was he getting it from? "I have to say, Art. You've changed."

"You haven't." He stated uneasily. In his current state, there was no way this could end well. There was a reason why they referred to his pagan power as stolen. It hadn't simply come from nothing. Dean had taken it. As far as anyone that learned the truth would be concerned, he'd stolen it from Artemis. Which wasn't the truth but it hardly would've mattered to the actual deities. Now that that cat was out of the bag…

"You're dying."

"Thanks for noticing." He retorted bitterly, the reminder making him painfully aware of the oncoming headache. He needed to find a source of power and soon. Fucking Gabriel and making him lose his temper.

"You shouldn't be so arrogant, Dean. When my sister died all those years ago, when you left her body to the Earth but kept her power, it was under the impression you would treat it well. Your identity was her secret, not mine. But now, now you've been mistreating her final gift to you."

"I've been treating it fine." Dean responded, stepping back as Apollo stepped forward.

"If you'd been treating it find you would've been making sure to visit places of worship over the years. If you'd been treating it well you wouldn't have tainted it with that Norse pest. If you were treating it well, you wouldn't be dying."

"Tell you what, Apollo. Teach me how to use Pagan Airlines and I'll go visit all those wonderful places of worship that don't exist anymore." Dean was well aware that he was being disrespectful but if Apollo wanted his respect he could give at least a little of it.

Apollo smirked, eying him with distaste. "I should destroy you, Dean. But that'd be too simple. I promise you that you won't receive any assistance from neither the Egyptian nor the Roman pantheons."

"No boost to make me suffer longer?" He asked sarcastically, Apollo gave him an appraising look.

"I'll make a deal with you. I'll give you a small power boost if you make a small oath."

That caught his attention. For more than one reason. He needed a power boost, bad. Lashing out at Gabriel before had been a stupid move. The other reason it caught his attention was wariness. A small oath could be a hundred thousand different things.

"Depends what you're asking me to do, Apollo." He responded, clenching a fist at his side as another headache hit him. So yeah. He wasn't in nearly as good of shape as he kept playing at. He was in bad shape. Loki might've boosted him but it was becoming abundantly clear that Norse magic just wasn't working for him. It burnt out way too fast, or maybe it was just incompatible. Either way…

"In exchange with a small power boost, you'll swear off sex as well as eating processed meat." Dean stared at the god as though he'd grown a second head. "My sister never ate anything that hadn't been hunted by her or her followers, as you're well aware seeing as you continued following her path for years after she died. If you swear off sex and processed meat, I will give you a boost that should last you a week or two if you aren't stupid with it."

Dean grit his teeth. The sex thing, he could handle, probably. The processed meat thing was something else entirely. The loophole grab for power from eating cheap food was keeping him alive currently. "Would you like me to carve out my heart for you as well? You're basically-"

"I'm asking you to _respect_ the memory of my sister, Dean."

"I'm not her." Dean reminded him, trying to get it through his head.

"No, you aren't. You're an arrogant fallen angel of The One God failing to be something you aren't. You pretended to be her for years and didn't complain once. The both of you were far too close for it to have been healthy."

"That was-"

"It's the same. The only difference is you're thriving solely on her power now. I'm not asking a lot of you, Dean. All I'm asking is that you do exactly what you did all those years ago. I'm asking you to respect the memory of the goddess that hid you."

Dean shifted uncomfortably under the god's piercing stare, "So I swear off sex and processed meats and you give me an extra week or two to live."

"There are still worshippers of my sister. I'm not getting power out of thin air. Use that thick skull of yours and maybe you'll figure out how we're surviving. Yes or no? I have things to do that don't involve you."

Gritting his teeth, he nodded. "Okay. I swear to remain celibate from this moment until my last as well as to never consume processed foods." The air around them crackled to life with magic that Dean wasted no time greedily absorbing, relaxing into the energy it gave him. This was different than the power Loki had fed him. It was stronger. More natural, it melded with the god power he was thriving on rather than coating it. It was similar to the power he'd pulled off the offerings those stupid kids had thrown together but more potent.

"Don't forget what breaking an oath will mean for you, Dean." Apollo snapped his fingers and Dean was soaring, much to his surprise, then his feet were on the ground and he was in a familiar yard.

Damn it. "Thank you, Apollo." He said because he didn't really want to piss the god off. Sighing he made his way to the door and headed inside, debating on how the hell he was going to go about this. He'd done it, in the past, survived off the things left at the altars and the food he'd hunted. That had been a different world. Apollo had effectively made his life a hundred times more difficult.

Three things needed to happen. One, he needed to save Sam before Lucifer ripped him to shreds. Balthazar had tried to describe the level of anger and agony that had ripped across Heaven from Lucifer but hadn't been able to come up with words. Every moment that Sam was with Lucifer had him sick with dread. It should've been him. Sam shouldn't have been there when Lilith died.

Second, he needed to find his Grace before someone else did. The kind of power in an Archangel's Grace was potent and so far he'd had no luck pinpointing it, which was a serious issue, but a problem for later.

Third, probably the most important, figuring out how to accurately travel using his Pagan magic. That was the biggest personal problem he was having. If he couldn't perfect traveling with the Pagan magic, he'd have a serious problem. The only way he could travel to the places of worship and be discreet about it was by being able to place himself exactly where he was targeting. Yes he could use Baby but it was a pain and there was so much other stuff happening, it wasn't convenient. Three things to figure out.

Dean pulled open the door to the panic room, the demon settled into the cot and reading a book on summoning. She lifted her attention from it and observed his entrance with a visible smirk on his face. One of her eyes still swollen shut from when Gabriel had beaten the ever living hell out of her. A few of the injuries were less prominent but only just so. There was basically no reason for her Vessel to be alive other than the demon inhabiting it and surprisingly the demon's presence was enough to force it to slowly heal itself.

"Is the not so pretty goddess here to heal me?"

"I'll heal you if you answer a question for me."

"Ooh, the doe knows how to ask questions. And here I thought you were just another pretty face. Lay it on me and I'll answer."

"Is Nex still alive?" He asked her and she frowned, sitting up and crossing her legs.

"Very good question. I'd bet my nonexistent heart on no. But then again, she had a hand in Lilith's death. Maybe she's alive and suffering for her actions. Why're you asking?"

"I'm debating whether it's worth it to keep you alive." Dean answered and she grinned at him. It was the truth. Only partially. If Nex was still alive, he was going to make her wish it was Lucifer was torturing her. She'd manipulated all of them and he'd been stupid enough _not_ to see through it.

"Honesty. I like that in a woman. Of course I prefer when the woman is a woman."

"How did you escape Alistair?" Dean asked her, ignoring the remarks about him being a woman. It was true. At one point in time, his Vessel had been a woman.

A sharp look filled her eye as she grinned, pushing off the cot "I answered your first question. Heal me."

Snapping his fingers, he used a small burst of the god energy to heal most the external injuries, however he made no attempt to repair the internal injuries as he knew it wasn't worth wasting the magic on something she didn't need fixed.

She ran her fingers over her face and sighed in relief, running her fingers through her hair for a moment. "Next question will cost you a box of hair dye. Sound good?"

Dean sighed but nodded, that was something simple that he could grab at the store next time he visited town.

"I escaped using blood magic. But that isn't what you're asking. Dalara was dying of blood loss and all sorts of other nasty shit considering the things he did to our internal organs. She wouldn't have pieced together how suspicious it was because despite the level of pain tolerance we have, it hurt like Hell. Like, there are no words to describe the pure raw agonizing pain that Alistair caused us by keeping us completely coherent through that. Honestly, I've got to respect my non demonic self for living for as long as she did after escaping."

Dean rolled his eyes, this demon was really playing the human card while being completely demonic. It left a major question of what her ulterior motivation was. He wouldn't be stupid enough to half trust a demon again. Unless she was being honest. He'd never seen anything like this. From what he understood, which wasn't a lot, half of her soul was demonic. There was no explanation of how that was possible. If it was possible. It was completely possible that she'd been leading Gabriel on since she met him.

"Anyways. Alistair was torturing us. Really enjoyed watching us flail desperately on the table so he didn't chain us down. Then a demon showed up. Told him Nex had sent them or something. Dalara managed to use the blood from our shoulder to draw out the transportation sigil we'd been using to get to Gabriel. Presto! We're free." Dalara leaned back against the wall and yawned unnecessarily. "Are we done? I was enjoying researching how to summon Hellhounds. A shame they didn't add how to bind them."

"What transportation sigil?" He demanded and she smirked at him as she grabbed a piece of paper from under her pillow.

"Always asking the right questions. This'll cost you a pillow. This pillow's worse than the shitty one from jail. At least I think it was a pillow. Jail's such a foggy memory." Dean crossed the room and grabbed the paper from her hands. "I'll let you know if this book gives me any useful information on summoning baby bro from the clutches of big bro!" She called after him as he made his way for the stairs, staring down at the sigil with surprise, suspicion, and irritation. It explained something though it also raised a lot more questions. "And bring me my pillow!" She shouted as he remembered at the last second to slam the door, wasting a bit of unnecessary magic as he didn't want to stop to turn.


	3. 2: Good God, Y'all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be stealing parts from the transcript of Good God Ya'll[S5Ep2] for this chapter and next chapter. Obviously there'll be some changes. Just letting you know.
> 
> Warning, brief flash of torture at the beginning.

_Gabriel shouted as immeasurable agony ripped across his entire being. If Alistair's torture had been pain, this was…he couldn't describe it. Gabriel wasn't even certain where he was. All he knew was his entire nervous system felt as though it'd been ignited and plunged into boiling hot magma before being thrown into the tundra only for the process to be repeated. Again and again. Over and over. Constant agony beyond measure. Years and years._

" _Sam!"_

Ice water covered him and he jerked upright with a shout of confusion, memories of Hell flooding him as he quickly took in his surroundings, his heart pounding loudly in his ears, tears burning in his eyes at the residual pain. A dream. It'd been a dream. Cas was standing at the side of the bed with a bowl in hand and a seriously concerned look on his face, Dean in the doorframe watching him with unease.

"Gabe-"

"No." He wouldn't talk about that. Not now. That had been…something else. It was…what the _fuck_ had that been?

His brother observed him in silence which just made it all worse.

"Stop staring at me." He hissed out as he became aware of cold. "Did you have to douse me in water? Couldn't our friendly neighborhood goddess wake me up? Without the mess." He complained, his voice cracking slightly as he pulled his drenched shirt off, shoving the soaking wet blanket off him and moving to the other half of the bed.

"I tried. Whatever had you under, it had its claws in too deep." Dean explained simply.

"What were you dreaming about, Gabe?" Cas asked, this time before Gabriel could try to cut him off.

"It was Hell." Gabriel lied, his voice wavering. He wasn't going to talk about this. Especially with Dean in the room. That hadn't been Hell. Hell had been rainbows and unicorns compared to what he'd just experienced. Alistair's torture had become a constant, there was only so much someone could do to someone before it became a constant. That, that hadn't been anything along the lines of what Alistair had done. That had been something he'd never experienced.

"You're lying." Dean said from the door.

"It was Hell." He insisted as he buried the memory to the best of his ability. Another time and another place.

"Gabe-"

"Later, Cas." He ground out, glaring at his brother who shut his mouth.

When Gabriel looked back at the door Dean was obviously done pushing it as he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "I have some good news and some bad news."

"Bad news first?" Gabriel asked, because then they could coat the bad news in good news.

"You've got a demon in the basement." Dean flashed him a smirk that didn't nearly have the amount of emotion in it he was trying to muster. Fuck. What was the _good news_ if Dean was playing off the bad news like that?

"The good news?" Gabriel asked, maybe it was really good news?

"You've got a sister." Gabriel blinked at him in confusion as he held out a piece of paper which Cas walked over to, taking from his hands.

"It's a sigil." Cas stated, confused. What did a sigil have to do with them having a sister? Sure, it made sense. Their father was far from a monk. But what did the sigil have to do with that?

"It's the sigil for the blood magic that Dalara was using to travel to you, Gabriel."

Then it clicked. The good and bad news. Good news, they had a sister. Bad news, that sister was a demon sitting in the basement.

But…

"She's _sixteen_ years older than me. Dad was only, what? Forty-six, forty-seven, when he died. That would make him around… six when she was born. Are you telling me my birthmother was twenty years older than him?"

"Your mother _was_ a whore, Gabriel. It is possible she was very young when she had Dalara." That was the Grade A tactful response from an unsurprised Cas. "Women can have children as-"

"I _don't_ need a biology lesson, Cas." He cut his brother off before he was drug into a ridiculous lesson about the reproduction cycles of women. One time was enough thank you very much.

"I'm simply stating a fact. It's completely possible." His brother handed the paper back to Dean who was slightly lost in thought.

"Spill, Dean. What's got you looking like you might explode, and not in the fun way." Gabriel pushed, because he could see the gears trying to turn in the god's half-witted brain.

Dean blinked and shot him an irritated look, "I think we need to restrain her."

"Why?" Both him and Cas asked at the same time, Cas startled and Gabriel suspicious.

"Call me a suspicious son of a bitch but last time we were stupid enough to not be completely suspicious of not one but two demons telling us they didn't want to start the Apocalypse. If you've forgotten the demon that didn't bother giving us a heads up on what our brilliant plan to kill my brother's Soul would do is sitting down there with more than enough blood running through her veins."

Gabriel might've protested if it wasn't such a head on assumption. Of course, with this new revelation on the table it made it…what did it change? Other than their stupid inability to harm blood and family. God, he'd been willing to sacrifice six hundred and sixty five children and their souls to save a daughter that, in the end, he'd failed to save anyway. Of course, he'd been siding with her since he met her, even when the evidence piled against her and said she was a sadistic half demon. Well…that wasn't a completely inaccurate description.

Damn it.

"You're right." Gabriel spoke up, ignoring the silent conversation taking place between his brother and the god. Or it was just intense meaningless staring. Either way.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dean was blocking the doorway, not that he needed to considering Gabriel was still shackled to the floor.

"I'm not going to say 'yes' to Mikey. As much fun as it sounds to be ridden in all the boring ways, I'm not doing anything stupid until we get your brother back."

The look Dean gave him was dubious so Gabriel decided to go with a more blunt approach, just to set the god off, "I told your brother that when he got back I was going to kick his ass then fuck him senseless. Can't be labeled a liar, right?"

No, Gabriel wouldn't hold true to that promise if Sam was in bad shape, which was the inevitable considering Balthazar had all but told them Lucifer was torturing him for killing Lilith. Of course, Dean didn't pick that up and in T-minus point two seconds a fist landed on his face. It was actually interesting in a way. Dean's tolerance for him seemed to have all but vanished. Maybe it was a god thing. So far every god and goddess he'd met had really enjoyed abuse.

"Dean, you have got to stop letting him get to you." When Gabriel looked up from the floor, rubbing his jaw and glaring at the god, his brother was between them. A human shield. Go figure.

"When we save Sam, Gabriel. If you so much as-"

"Relax, Deanarino." Gabriel carefully hoisted himself up off the floor, watching the seething god warily. "I may be a selfish dick but when push comes to shove, I've got limits. I could've taken advantage of the fact that your naïve little brother thought he was in love with me from the moment we met. I didn't. Despite the fact that I didn't want to behave myself, I did. When we save your brother, I'm not going to make a move on him. I restrained myself before and I'll do it again."

Dean searched him for several long moments before snapping his fingers. To Gabriel's relief the cuff disappeared from his ankle. That thing was really uncomfortable.

Gabriel hadn't told Dean his whole plan. He still had that coin that hid them from basically everything. When they got Sam back, he was going to kidnap his angel and they were going to anywhere with a beach to live out the end of The Apocalypse. They were running the fuck away from there before shit got worse. Fuck Dean. If Cas wanted to come he had to ditch the god. It was inevitable that they'd be stuck with Balthazar if Cas came but that angel had been doing exactly what he'd told Gabriel he was doing to him. Playing Silent Guardian. Genuinely not showing his face unless he needed to.

Yeah, okay. His runaway plan was very poorly thought through, but it was something.

Gabriel was drug from his thoughts as they started their way down the stairs. From the inside of the Panic Room Dalara was singing, loudly. Actually…was that singing? It sounded like an animal was dying. Was she sacrificing a goat in there? Gabriel grimaced and covered his ears.

"Can you gag her before my ears start bleeding?" He asked an irritated looking Dean, suddenly the sound stopped with a shriek.

"Fuck off, Dean!" Cas was first to the door and unlatching and pulling it open. Gabriel was behind him and when he looked inside it was to see the demon pinned to the far wall by an invisible force.

"I told you to gag her."

Dean ignored him as Cas stepped into the room,

"No appreciation for my perfect rapping skills." The demon whined. Rapping? That's what that had been? However her pout changed when she spotted Gabriel and she smiled sweetly. "How's it feel to be the middle child, Gabe? Sweet as a cherry pie or sour as a…sour gummy worm?" Gabriel went rigid but she didn't show anything that said she knew the connotations gummy worms had for him. How would she?

"Why didn't she tell me?" He forced the question out and she laughed sharply, grinning toothily.

"She didn't know. I pieced it together, just like I pieced the outcome of killing Lil. Nex gave her that sigil _after_ she met you. Told her if she used it to travel, she'd be brought to wherever you were. It was less draining too, cost less. So tell me, boys. What're you doing down here? Find a cure to demonism?" She asked, her gaze wandering to Dean.

"Sorry, sweetheart. As much as we don't trust you, we've come to the realization that you're a flight risk we can't afford to let roam free."

The demon visibly tensed though her words were coated in sarcasm, "You've got me locked in a giant devil's trap with iron walls coated in salt and you're worried I'm going to escape? Someone dump acid in your cereal this morning?"

Dean had been right. "Little birdy told us she wouldn't lie." Gabriel pointed out, drawing the demon's attention. "Tell me, black eyes. Do you have a way to escape?"

She clenched her teeth, anger flashing across her expression before she flicked her eyes to their normal pale blue, an innocent smile crossing her expression. "Alrigh', boys. I'm goin' t' be completely honest. I've been fuckin' with ya since the second I met ya. From the moment ya saw me in that library 'til now I've been leadin' y'all on like a dog on a leash."

Gabriel didn't buy it. Cas shot him a look that said the same thing. Cas hadn't known her, but it was obvious at this point the demon was grabbing for anything to try to set them off. Dean snapped his fingers and the invisible bindings became shackles, holding her against the wall, she threw a violent glare in their direction.

"Nice try, black eyes." Gabriel said sweetly.

The façade dropped and she yanked against the chains, glaring onyx eyes at them. "Lucifer _will_ bring his wrath on you. Each and every one of you." Her gaze rested on him as she spat the next words, "You'll wish you died, Gabriel Novak. You'll wish that you were dead. What he has prepared for you? For the Soul of the angel that killed his Soul? Oh, you have no idea." She laughed a deranged laugh, throwing her head back, filling the room with the audible sound of her skull cracking against the wall. "Lucifer is going to wipe humanity from this planet. Lucifer is going to destroy everything and you know who that's going to be on? You. The four of you. All because you were too fucking stupid to realize that this was a setup. All because you thought it would be a good idea to kill _the devil's_ Soul. To _destroy_ Lilith." A hand wrapped around his arm and began dragging him backwards out of the room, ice running down his spine, her words wrapping around him like venomous coils. "Gabriel Novak, your angel destroyed the light bringer. You won't _ever_ be safe. She will find you and she-" Her words were cut off in the same moment the door was forced shut by an invisible force. Gabriel whipped around to see Dean and Cas looking at each other, when Dean looked at him again his expression was unreadable.

"I'm calling in a favor. I'll be back. Don't leave." Then Dean was gone and Gabriel was turning to peek through the latch on the door. The demon was still there, bound to the wall, only the restraints had been increased so that her entire form was basically unable to move, a strap over her mouth that was keeping her silent. Her gaze met his through the opening and Gabriel could basically _feel_ the smirk on her face.

He needed a drink.

.-~*~-.

Do you remember how Dean told them not to leave? Gabriel did. Of course, the orders of a fallen archangel barely mattered when The Apocalypse was happening. Instead of sticking at base camp and laying low like they should've been doing, Bobby called them with a demon problem in River Pass, Colorado which they grabbed.

Yes, it was Gabriel's idea that they got the fuck out of the house because being there left him feeling useless. The books were all but dead end after dead end. It was a waste of time to dig through them at all when it was an obvious fact that they weren't going to be able to summon Sam as long as he was in the devil's clutches. He needed out of there before he decided to do something stupid and if Dean had an issue with that he could take it up with Cas.

"Gabe." The car slowed to a stop, drawing Gabriel from his thoughts. Well that was a problem. Throwing open the passenger door he slid out, throwing the last of his gummy worms in his mouth as he eyed the destroyed bridge with unease. "Phone's not working." Cas said after opening his door.

"This screams ten shades of 'what can possibly go wrong?'" Gabriel remarked jokingly, swallowing down the candy.

No, he hadn't gotten gummy worms while stressing over what the hell Lucifer was planning to do to him if he got his hands on him. Not at all. He'd simply seen the candies and bought them.

"Should we turn back?" Cas asked and he shook his head.

"What good will turning back do? Rufus is this way." Cas frowned over the car at him before moving and opening the back to gather weapons.

"Gabriel, please tell me you remembered the angel blades." Gabriel paused and leaned into the car, watching his brother dig through the bag.

"I grabbed one of them. You were supposed to get the other." His brother glared at him as he shoved the blade into his trench coat. Really. Gabriel wasn't sure where the hell he'd gotten his hands on that nightmare, probably his girlfriend since it was new. "Have you talked to Meg?"

"Yes, I called her earlier. She will be coming to Bobby's tomorrow. I currently have Balthazar watching her."

"Wow? You managed to get the leech to stop following you? Teach me your ways, oh so wise brother."

Cas made an irritated sound as he handed a shotgun through the car to Gabriel.

After a bit of light bickering the two of them were armed and walking down the road into the town, and, if Gabriel was honest, the entire atmosphere rang _wrong_. Things only got worse the further they went. As the town came into view, it became abundantly clear that things were _not_ okay in little River Pass, Colorado. The town looked like the start of one of those crappy zombie movies where everything was peacefully quiet until the magically appearing zombie hoard showed up out of nowhere.

"Hey, Cas? If a tree-"

Cas shot him an annoyed look that told him to shut up which he smiled cheekily at in return, doing his brother the favor of shutting up. It was strange how different it was when it was just the two of them. How much simpler it was. It was strange and great and painstakingly stupidly helpful. Off in the distance there was the distinctive sound of music. Listening closer he caught sound of Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky".

Might be good thoughts for you, Norman Greenbaum's. Not so good for Gabriel. Anything at all revolving around death wasn't. Anything at all revolving around being dead was not a good thought. He was hellbound. It hadn't taken much time to realize that if he died again, he was going back to Hell, if he went to Hell…well Lucifer was King of the place. That demon had outright warned him that Lucifer was looking for him. No dying, thank you very much.

As they walked further into the town it got worse. Definitely zombie apocalypse setup. Finally they arrived at the car that was still blaring music and Cas leaned in, shutting the music off, much to the silent gratitude of Gabriel. He'd thank God but clearly He'd left the building.

"Look." Gabriel followed Cas' focus to an ugly minivan a bit down the road, the ground in front of it covered in blood. They shared a look before making their way towards it, raising their weapons uneasily. Irrationally, Gabriel was still waiting for a zombie to pop out of nowhere. Not that they'd ever encountered zombies, but still. There was a first time for everything and considering angels and the devil and-

Gabriel whipped around, raising his gun at the sound of a gun cocking.

_Shit._

"Ellen?" Cas asked, surprised. Gabriel stepped back a step as his brother and him lowered their weapons, Ellen taking a step towards them, suspicion and irritation evident in her expression.

"Hello, boys." The woman was all but glaring at Gabriel at this point. He didn't notice when she pulled a flask of water from her belt, his focus stuck on her gun and whether or not she'd decide to use it on him.

Gabriel jerked back, instinctively wiping the holy water from his face the second she splashed him with it.

"What the hell, Ellen?" He complained.

"Be lucky that wasn't a bullet." Was her response, and it was accurate. He'd have shot him. She pushed past them without another word and, after a questioning look from his brother he trailed after Ellen, which could only end poorly. Easier than explaining just why the hell she was pissed at him to begin with. Ellen was not the kind of mom to forgive a guy for screwing around with her seventeen year old daughter. Especially when he was six years older than her. However, in his defense, she came onto him and he was…well the memories were fuzzy. As in. He had zero recollection of the events. That night he had been high, or drunk, or both.

Ellen was going to kill him. He probably deserved it.

The walk was deathly silent and there was a sickening sense that she was taking them to somewhere private so she could murder him. "So, Ellen. It's been-"

"Seven years." He shut his mouth at the hostility in her tone. Yeah. He was fucked.

"I don't know what Gabriel did, Ellen. I'm sure he deserves the anger. I just want to know what's going on here. Bobby said it was demons?"

Ellen made an annoyed sound as they stepped into the church, Gabriel couldn't help but notice the line of salt in the doorframe along with the devil's trap painted there.

"Whole lot of them." She answered as she continued further in, the brothers trailing after her.

"How many?" Gabriel asked and she shot him a glare as she turned around at a door.

"Pretty much the whole town, minus the dead people and these guys. So this is it, right? End times?" She was addressing Cas, pointedly ignoring Gabriel.

"It seems like it." Cas shifted under her look. Gabriel felt a bit bad for him. He didn't do social situations like this very well and while Gabriel had met Ellen more than once, Cas had met her once in passing the first time they'd been by The Roadhouse, before it'd been burnt to the ground.

The woman turned and knocked on the door, "It's me." She said loudly as a peephole opened revealing an eye.

A few seconds later a latch sounded and the door opened, Ellen sidestepped and motioned for Cas to go in. Once he was in, she turned on Gabriel and slapped him, hard. He stumbled back as she raised the gun again.

"You touch my daughter again, Gabriel Novak, and I'll hang you up by your balls. You hear me?"

Gabriel nodded rapidly, staring at the gun, still unsure whether she'd use it on him or not. That threat wasn't idle and he knew it. Of course, he had the devil ready to use him as his new favorite toy to break. Ellen really shouldn't have scared him as much as she did. But she did. There was a reason he hadn't seen her in seven years. She'd warned him if he showed his face again she'd kill him.

"I promise I won't touch your daughter again. I swear on my life." Ellen regarded him for several long moments before nodding sharply and lowering her gun, turning and going into the room. After a moment of hesitation he followed quietly, looking around the room and taking in the sight of ten civilians scattered around the room variously.

"This is Castiel and Gabriel. They're hunters. Here to help."

Several people in the room shared uncomfortable looks.

"You guys hip to this whole demon thing?" Gabriel noted the guy who'd opened the door had a rifle in hand.

"Unfortunately. You?"

"My wife's eyes turned black. She came at me with a brick. Kind of makes you embrace the paranormal." Gabriel followed the voice to a man wearing glasses who was sitting there, looking at his ring.

"Ellen, I know you're pissed at me. We kind of need to know more than demons." Gabriel pushed and Ellen sighed irritably, Gabriel noted Cas looking around the room and observing all of the people closely.

"I doubt I know much more than you. Rufus called. Said he was in town investigating omens. All of a sudden, the whole town was possessed. Me and Jo were nearby-"

"Jo's hunting?" He blurted and she shot another glare in his direction.

"Yeah, for a while now. We got here, and the place…well, the place was like you see it. Couldn't find Rufus, then me and Jo got separated. I was out looking when I found you."

Following this was a small argument revolving around how to get the ten civilians, which had apparently been nineteen civilians before, out of town safely. Cas had the ingenious idea to get everyone guns. Which actually wasn't a bad idea. Cas, because Ellen was doing everything she could to ignore him, somehow managed to use his lack of people skills to convince her to stick behind and give them "lessons in shooting firearms" aka Shotgun 101. Personally, he didn't see the point in properly teaching them. The important information was aim away from civilians, turn off safety, shoot.

This is why he doesn't have a gun license.

"You better look for my daughter, Gabriel." Ellen warned him as they made their way out the door. Anyone else, he would've made some sort of remark. Not with Ellen. Especially when his was back was to her and she was a hell of a shot.

"If we find her, we'll bring her back alive. I swear."

A short while later Gabriel was walking into the Quik-Mart with two bags loaded with weapons, however the sight before him caused him to drop those bags. There'd obviously been a confrontation and when he rushed around the corner it was to see Cas holding the Angel Blade, covered in blood and half kneeling over a corpse. His face was pale and his expression was slightly distant.

"Cas?" He asked warily and his brother jerked slightly, standing in one movement and looking at Gabriel before looking at the bodies at his feet and swallowing.

Gabriel had tried not to look but the horror in his brother's expression made him do it.

The men had been murdered. Not killed. They'd killed their fair share of demons before Sam had stolen the demon killing knife and they'd killed a chunk of monsters with knives before. This was different. Cas hadn't just killed this demon. He'd stabbed it. Repeatedly. There was no logical reason he'd have _needed_ to do that.

"They…they were demons." Cas muttered, "I…Gabe, I blacked out." Gabriel shifted uncomfortably as he crossed the short distance, taking the blade from his brother and wiping it on his jeans as he tucked it away. "Do you think it's Lucifer's influence?"

"I don't know." He told his brother honestly, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the bodies. "Take the trench coat off, Cas." He ordered.

"Technically it's an overcoat." His brother defended however the fact that he did as told said numbers for how bothered he was by this. And it was fair to be bothered.

A hundred different moments of his different creatures remarking about the taint of his brother's soul flashed through his mind. Dean's warnings. Was this what that had been about? Or was this completely unrelated? Something to do with him being a Vessel? Gabriel hadn't had any bleed through from Michael but Dean had mentioned that Michael was gone. Something was wrong with his brother and it left him anxious. They needed answers but for the time being, there wasn't much they could do.

Carefully he folded the trench coat and made his way back to the abandoned bags, putting the trench coat in one of them beneath the guns.

"Do you ever hear anything from Michael, Gabriel?" Cas asked warily from the aisle.

"No. Do you?" Of course he knew the answer to that. He'd listened in on the conversation Sam had had with him about being a Vessel what felt like years ago.

"Nothing direct. Mostly flashes of emotions." Cas admitted as Gabriel returned to the aisle, watching as his brother began bagging salt. Gabriel frowned at that revelation. Lucifer's emotions? Those couldn't possibly be anything good. How bad of shape was Cas in mentally?

"What does the devil feel, Cas?" He asked, trying to come off as sarcastic but hardly hitting the mark.

"Fear, anger, pain, confusion." Cas answered him as he grabbed the salt bags and quickly walked away from the corpses still pale. Gabriel should've offered to finish getting the salt for him. Damn.

"We ready?" He asked and his brother nodded once.

Together they gathered the bags and made their way out the door and back towards the church.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, question time. Where's everyone think Michael's at? Any theories? As far as I'm concerned I haven't hinted at it though I could've done it and not remember doing it.


	4. 3: You love to be a killer, don't you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession. I had them lockdown Dalara in the basement because I didn't want to overdo the OC usage. No. Her being their sister is not something random I came up with. This has been the plan for a long while. Anyways. Onto more.

After bit of arguing between the three hunters, and to the heavy disappointment of Castiel. Ellen and him were making their way through the town in search of Jo. While Castiel didn't really know either of them personally he'd heard Bobby talk about her. Which meant he knew something that Gabriel didn't. Something he wasn't happy to be holding onto the information of.

"So where was the last place you saw her?" Castiel asked in hopes of not talking about what he knew.

"Up ahead." Ellen answered, "Bobby's told me a lot about you and your brother, Cas." The words were casual with a serious undertone.

"Really?" He asked meekly. What all has he told her? Ellen was an old friend of Bobby's. Something he'd heard mentioned a few times. It was why he was dreading this conversation. Bobby trusted her.

"Yeah. Said he's cleaned up his act. Also said he's tailing after an angel now."

Sam was the second to last person Castiel wanted to talk about. "He's in love with his angel, it is more than simply sexual."

"So where's this angel at now? Obviously isn't helping the two of you deal with a town overrun in demons." The last word was said with a bit of venom. This woman had every reason in the world to hate demons, even if the story was false or faulty.

"It's a long story. I really don't want to talk about that." Lethal silence for several moments before he spoke again. "So you and Jo are hunting? I heard you believed she couldn't handle it."

"She can't." The woman answered bluntly, "But if she's gonna do it anyway…"

"You're going to do it with her." Castiel finished for her as something caught his eye down the street. Was that… "Look." He pointed towards the smoke and Ellen followed his attention.

"Is that a chimney going?" The woman asked, the conversation gratefully derailed.

"I believe so. Come on."

Quietly the two made their way towards the house, Ellen pulling him behind a different building and looking around the corner. "Guess we found base camp." Ellen remarked quietly.

"What do you think they're burning?" Castiel questioned silently as he started around the corner. The motion was quickly thwarted when a thud sounded behind him followed by a shout. He spun around, hitting his gun across Rufus' face as a younger voice shouted from where Ellen was, "Don't move, you evil skank!"

The demon possessed Rufus managed to get his gun from him and knocked him out cold, sending him into blackness.

_Soaring, free, angry. The wind of the world whipped across their face, the sun pouring down across them. It caressed them. What was the point? Why did it matter? Kill them. Kill them all. Kill them because they can. Kill them for the fun of it. Destroy it all. Destroy it because they could. Destroy it just because._

Castiel jerked awake from the pure helplessness and anger of the dream and became painfully aware of the bindings on his wrists and ankles. A fireplace crackled peacefully from next to him. In front of him stood Rufus and next to him a younger woman who could only be Jo. No. There was something wrong here. The girl held a jug of water, both the demons eyes onyx black.

"Uh-uh. No way you're getting out of those. Did you up myself. You're stuck right where I want you, you evil son of a bitch." Rufus told him as he backhanded him, Jo splashing him with what was undoubtedly holy water. Something was seriously wrong here.

"Wait, wait, wait." He all but begged as Rufus grabbed the back of his neck, forcing his head back.

"Please. Just, just wait." He begged, trying to understand the situation. Trying to comprehend it as Jo's hand replaced Rufus' and the old hunter began dumping salt on his face and in his mouth. Salt. It burned in the injuries on his face and tasted terrible, that wasn't the issue here. There was something wrong. He spit it out helplessly struggling against Rufus' bindings.

" _Exorcisamus te, exorcisamus te, omnis satanica-"_ The older hunter started the exorcism and Castiel spit out more of the salt.

"Stop!"

" _-omnis immundum-"_

"Please!" He begged as more salt was dumped on his face.

After several more failed attempts at exorcising him and a lot of failed pleading the two hunters left him there, struggling against the binds. It felt like he'd been there hours when a familiar man, Roger, walked through the door. He narrowed his eyes and watched the man enter. What was he doing here? Wait.

What was he?

"Who are you?" He demanded as the man took off his glasses, smiling at him. "What are you?" He tried again and the creature shrugged it off, not answering.

"You caught me. Popped in to watch. I can hustle like that."

"So, the real Roger?" He asked instead.

"Buried in a ditch." The creature answered casually as he closed the door and pulled up a chair.

"So who are you?" He tried again and the creature obviously decided to humor him.

"Here's a hint. I was in Germany. Then in Germany. Then in the Middle East. I was in Darfur when my beeper went off. I'm waiting to hook up with my siblings. I've got three. We're going to have so much fun together."

Just like that. It clicked, and his stomach sank. War. This was War.

"War." He stated blandly, "There aren't any demons in town, are there?"

"Nope. Just frightened people ripping each other's throats out. I really haven't had to do too much. Take out a bridge here, lay in a little hallucination there, sit back, pop some corn, watch the show. Frankly, you're really vicious little animals, Castiel."

"No. This is your doing."

The horseman scoffed. "Please. Last week, this was Mayberry. Now these people are stabbing each other's children." And Castiel tried really hard not to think about how many people in this town had died because they'd messed up. Because they'd trusted a demon. A demon that was currently tied up in Bobby's panic room. They should've killed her.

"You made them see demons!" Castiel all but shouted.

"Honestly, people don't need a reason to kill each other. I mean, you seen the Irish? They're all Irish." War joked and Castiel narrowed his eyes. "You think I'm a monster. I'm jello shots at a party. I just remove inhibitions."

"I'm going kill you myself." Castiel shout out lethally and War laughed.

"Oh, that's adorable, considering you're my poster boy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Those kids in that minimart? You slaughtered them, and you enjoyed it."

Castiel flinched away, because he'd pointedly locked those memories away to never think of again. It had been a mistake. To this moment he had no idea _why_ he'd done it. All he knew was he'd slaughtered them and…

"You're wrong." He defended and the horseman waved it off.

"Save your protests for your brother. I can see inside your head. And man, it is one hell of a place. Kill, kill, kill. Don't care who the victim is. You might play off being the good guy but you enjoy it. Always the quiet ones you want to worry about. Think that it's fun now? Wait until you're thigh deep in corpses. Humans. Demons. Angels. Doesn't matter. You'll want to destroy them all. Rumor on the grapevine is you're Lucifer's Vessel. He'll give you everything you want. Blood and destruction. One little 'yes' is all it'll take and you can drop the blame on the devil himself." War cleared his throat and put his glasses back on, standing and leaving Castiel with a sick feeling in his stomach. That was wrong. He was lying. He didn't enjoy killing. He couldn't enjoy killing. Before he could try to come up with a proper defense the horseman was talking again. "Showtime for the meatsuits. Watch this."

Castiel watched as the horseman twisted his ring then the sight as blood flowed down his forehead. The horseman kicked over his chair before dropping to the floor, and shouting. Rufus kicked the door open with Jo right behind him.

"He did it!" War shouted from the floor and Castiel became quickly aware of his bigger problems.

"No, wait!"

"He said they're coming! He said they're coming to get us!" War said as he struggled to get off the floor.

"Wait! Jo, Rufus, he's lying!" He tried helplessly as the elderly man approached him.

"You shut your mouth!" Rufus hit him and he was unconscious again.

.-~*~-.

Good news, Gabriel and Ellen were on the same side and she wasn't trying to murder him. Bad news, the good townspeople of River Pass wanted them dead. Oh, and War was there. The horseman himself. Also, his brother had been kidnapped by demons that weren't actually demons. Yeah, this could only end poorly. Did he mention he didn't want to die? If he did, he's reiterating his point now. He really doesn't fucking want to die.

The leaned against the side of a building near the one that Ellen had told him was where they'd been split up.

"Okay, so let's go in." Gabriel said as he checked his gun.

"How are you still alive?" Ellen grabbed his arm as he went to go around the corner.

"Because you haven't shot me." He responded cheekily and she glared at him. Behind that remark he was trying to understand her hesitance.

"Rufus is almost more of a paranoid bastard than Bobby." She explained and it clicked. Of course. There was going to be more to this than simply strolling in. Especially if they were keeping out demons.

"Wise woman. So lead the way." He backed off and motioned forward.

A few minutes later an explosion sounded from the window she'd suspected they'd rigged. Ellen was nowhere to be seen as he crept towards the house, flattening himself against the wall next to the window and waiting for someone to poke their head through. The moment that Rufus stuck his head out Gabriel grabbed him and pulled him through.

"Rufus!" A familiar voice shouted from inside as Gabriel shoved the older man that he hadn't seen in a while against the wall.

"Listen to me, Rufus. I'm not a demon. Think. All of those omens." He tried reasoning. Of course on a good day Rufus wasn't the most reasonable of men and right now he was under the influence of fucking War.

"You go to hell." Rufus spat as he kicked him in the crotch, fighting him off with all of his might. By Gabriel's limited luck he managed to repin the older man to the wall as he tried for the gun he'd dropped when Gabriel had pulled him through the window.

"Rufus! The polluted water, the shooting star, the red Mustang, it's War. I'm telling you, it's _War_." He emphasized, still not getting through the thick skull of the hunter. Credit for sticking to his beliefs. Discredit for not _listening_. Of course, he was the king of not listening so probably not best to criticize a logically paranoid hunter.

"You're damn right it is." To his misfortune he was punched in the face again as he went for the gun.

Gabriel tackled the older man desperately, pinning him against the ground. "The Horseman!" He shouted. _Come on, Rufus. Use that thick skull of yours._

"Horseman?" Rufus asked confused, blinking. _Oh thank God. Well maybe not God. Fuck God. Until I get Sam back God can go fuck himself. Shit._

"Yes. He's turning us against each other. You're hallucinating." Gabriel explained quickly, had it worked?

The man stared at him for several long moments before blinking. "The Horseman. War."

"Yes. Do I need to spell it out?"

Rufus narrowed his eyes as Gabriel got up off him, "Did you figure this out all by yourself, genius?"

"I couldn't figure out the date on my own if it wasn't plastered on my cellphone. Ellen helped." He retorted as he helped the older man to his feet.

After they'd rearmed themselves they found their way inside and he was, yet again, met with Ellen holding a gun to his chest.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He held up his hands. Not at all panicking. Nope.

"We all on the same page?" The woman asked and the both of them nodded. Thankfully Ellen lowered the gun and he caught sight of Jo.

It'd been seven years since he'd seen her and she definitely hadn't gotten uglier as she'd gotten older. Girl was gorgeous. If he wasn't worried about Ellen murdering him for it and if he didn't have Sam, he'd have gone after her no doubt. As it stood, he wasn't going to.

"Hi, Jo." He greeted her and she blinked at the sight of him, her face reddening slightly.

"Hey." She responded awkwardly and Ellen pointedly placed herself between them.

"Alrighty, we've got to find War before everybody in this town kills each-"

He was cutoff as a gunshot rang through the air and they all ducked down, looking between each other to make sure no one had been shot.

"Fuck! Where's Cas?" He demanded.

"Upstairs." Rufus answered and without waiting for the others he began his charge upstairs. It wasn't hard to find his brother, who was yelling from one of the rooms to let him out.

"It's not demons." His brother told him the second he caught sight of who it was.

"It's War." They both said at the same time as Gabriel began undoing the binds.

"We just can't figure out how he's doing it." Gabriel complained as he managed to cut the binds loose. What was War doing to make it happen? If it was just an aura they were completely and utterly fucked and needed to get the hell outta dodge before they died.

"The ring." Castiel said like it explained everything and-wait. It did.

"The ring. That's right. He turned it right before he made everybody hallucinate me and Ellen going all black eyed."

"Right." His brother said and a quick glance told him that something was seriously getting to him. What'd happened to his brother while they were separate?

"We got to move. Come on." He made his way out of the room, shoving that away for the time being. They'd talk later. Or they wouldn't.

After they slipped out of the house they found their way towards the red mustang they'd passed on their way into town. If Gabriel was honest, he'd have taken a horse over a car. But hey? Who was he to judge? They waited behind another car until War finally came into sight, walking up to the mustang. The brothers, angel blade in Cas' hand, came up behind him and shoved him against the car, earning a laugh.

"Whoa. Okay. That's a sweet little blade. But come on. You can't kill War, kiddos."

"Oh, we know." Gabriel said smugly as his brother slammed War's hand against the mustang, cutting his fingers off in one sharp movement of the blade. The ring fell off and both War and the mustang vanished into thin air as Cas knelt down, picking up the ring and eying it. It worked. Gabriel let out an uneasy breath and laughed a sharp laugh that his brother shot him a concerned look for. They'd just gone up against _War_ and won. The sharp laugh turned into a fit of laughter that caused him to collapse to his knees.

"Are you okay?" His brother asked, genuinely concerned for him. It was fair. Gabriel was laughing so hard and he wasn't even sure _why_. It probably had to do with the fact that he was, yeah, _alive_. If War had killed them…

"Yeah." He got out, his laughter dying down as he wiped tears from his eyes. Random laughing fits are apparently causes for concern from little brothers because Cas didn't look at all like he believed him. "I'm fine. Promise." He offered his pinky which his brother frowned but humored him by taking before pocketing the ring.

An hour and a half later and they'd said their farewells to Ellen and Jo, Rufus had taken off quickly, and they were seated at a picnic table. Gabriel eating a bag of gummy worms while his brother drank a beer. There was definitely something wrong if Cas was drinking. Which begged a massive question.

"Spill." He ordered and his brother jumped slightly, setting the drink down and staring down at his hands as he set them in his lap.

"Something is wrong with me, Gabriel. I don't know what it is but something is seriously wrong. When I killed those kids…I didn't black out. Not completely. I was aware of my actions. I…enjoyed it. I killed them because I wanted to. I did it because I enjoyed it. I mean, some part of me did. I stabbed them over and over again even though I knew they were dead. I watched the life leave their eyes and I didn't care because all I wanted to do was hurt them." His brother was fumbling over his words but listening to him say that…it pissed Gabriel off. His brother wasn't a murderer. Gabriel had been the one that did the dark things. They both had been the ones that killed the ones that murdered and worse. His brother hadn't ever enjoyed it. His brother had always been careful. Shot for the heart, the head, stabbed straight through the heart. Cas had always been sympathetic towards monsters that didn't deserve his sympathy. Gabriel was the one that had ignored morals in favor of survival. Let monsters loose that would've been better off dead.

"Cas, no."

"Let me finish." His brother spoke up, words harsh and surprising. "I can't. I can't do this. I talked to Dalara and she told me my soul was tainted. Told me it was covered in demon taint. Told me it was going to twist and corrupt me. I didn't want to believe her. Except she's right. Dean told me the same exact thing. Warned me exactly what breaking that binding on my soul would do to me. It would taint and corrupt me until there was nothing of who I was before left."

"What are you saying?"

"I…I'm going to stop hunting. I'm going to leave because as long as I'm around you and the hunting. The more of a danger I'll be to everyone and everything around me."

And wait a minute. Running away wasn't Cas' move. Running was Gabriel's move. Which meant that this entire thing was truly getting to his brother. Cas honestly believed that he was a threat to those around him. Maybe he was. No one had ever been specific on what was wrong with Cas. They'd mentioned multiple times that his soul was tainted and corrupt but no one had explained what that entailed, what that meant. It'd been mentioned that it made him Lucifer's Vessel but was there something more? Would it truly turn him evil?

Could he let Cas just leave?

The answer was, yes, he could. It didn't mean he wanted to. That was the last thing he wanted to do. No matter how many times he'd run off, he'd always come back in the end. Maybe he should give Cas this space. Let his brother leave. If it did him some good, Gabriel couldn't step on that choice. No matter what.

"Okay."

His brother blinked at him, obviously surprised at the answer. "You aren't going to fight me?"

"If I got pissed at you for leaving I'd be a massive hypocrite. If you think getting away from hunting is the best thing for you, then go. I won't keep you against your will."

A searching look from his brother and he nodded. "Okay. Gabriel, make me a promise."

There it was. Before Cas could say it he held his hand up, "I swear I won't say 'yes' to Michael while your back is turned. I vow on everything I love." He offered his pinky again and his brother's mouth twisted up in a smile. "Pinky promise." He promised and Cas nodded.

"So where are you going to go?" He asked as they got up from the bench. Gabriel frowned when he noticed he'd eaten all of the gummy worms. Damn.

"Meg. I'm going to try to live a bit of a normal life with her." He confessed and Gabriel allowed that. Of course, he really needed to meet this woman. Every time Cas talked about Meg his eyes lit up like he'd just seen the sun for the first time.

"Keep in touch." He told his brother as Balthazar materialized behind him with a flutter of wings. That was when it occurred to him. Cas hadn't been in danger this entire time. Balthazar wouldn't have let his brother die. "I'll call you when we find Sam." He added and Cas nodded once, Balthazar resting a hand on his brother's shoulder. Cas disappeared, Balthazar didn't. Which was all kinds of fun.

"Hate to say it, Balthazar. Not my type. Shoo." The angel wasn't amused. Now that Cas was gone, he looked like the world was ending. Which…

"Sam's screams broke through the block Lucifer has on his Grace. You and Dean need to find a way to save Sam and soon. I don't know the specifics, but he is in really bad shape."

"Any hints?"

Balthazar paused for a moment, considerate. "Hell. I'd guess Hell. Helltime runs faster than Earth so if Lucifer wanted to torture him the most, he'd do it down there so he could do the most damage in the least amount of Earthtime. The way he cried out. It felt like he'd been down there for years."

Then Balthazar disappeared. Hell. Of course it was Hell. Fuck.

.-~*~-.

Dean had actually managed to travel where he was targeting. Okay, that was a lie. But he had managed to make it somewhere useful. Instead of arriving in Greece where he was going to call in his favor from Iris, he'd ended up in a barn somewhere in the dead center of nowhere.

Very useful. That wasn't sarcasm either. There was a small blanket spread out in the center of the barn with four different things on it. An offering. A well thought out offering. Unlike the kids that had absolutely no idea what they were doing. The offering here was a mixture of cooked rabbit meat and raw rabbit meat, cooked goat meat and raw goat meat. The meats radiated natural. Unprocessed. Something she'd done on her own and done with care. Next to the meats were a small pile of wildflowers. In the center was a photo of a young woman in her mid to late twenties.

That wasn't what made him pause. Standing a few feet behind it was an elderly woman who was staring at him with obvious confusion. Of course, she'd been making an offering to Artemis. A woman. Not a man. A closer look and he understood who the picture in the center of the objects was. This woman's daughter.

"Artemis?" The woman asked disbelievingly and he shifted uncomfortably as he knelt before the later, siphoning the energy off of it and…whoa. An honest, true, believer. This power was _meant_ for him and it joined the remainder of his slowly draining power greedily.

"I know. I'm in a man's body. It's a really long story. Tell me. What do you want from me?" Once he may have spoken formally, for her benefit. But this wasn't then, this was now. The woman looked down, shifting uncomfortably under his stare, slightly shaky.

After a moment of consideration, Dean stepped around the offering and rested a hand on her shoulder. She blinked and looked up at him when he allowed his power to skirt the edge of his Vessel. "It's…my daughter. The doctors haven't been able to figure it out but…she's dying. Both her and her unborn baby. Time's running out and…I was desperate. I've never asked any of you for anything but now…"

This was something that Dean could do without draining unnecessarily on his power. It was something that this power was _meant_ for. "Give me your daughter's name." He told the woman and she jumped slightly.

"Amber Jackson." The woman told him and he nodded, closing his eyes and sending a gust of power into one of the pennies in his pocket. He stepped away and pulled it from his pocket, offering it to her.

"Take this and place it in the palm of your daughter's hand. It will heal both her and her child of whatever illnesses they have. It will only work once and only for that purpose."

"Thank you." She told him as she took it from him, gratitude rolling off her in waves. Without another word he disappeared from there, this time missing his mark by a continent. Pagan Airlines was so unpredictable and difficult to use. He honestly regretted having never asked Artemis about it, but they had been so close then that it hadn't mattered.

Well, there was another option. One he'd been avoiding because he wanted to meet her on equal ground. Unfortunately Pagan Airlines wasn't cooperating and it was draining on his power. "Here goes nothing." He muttered to himself. _For Sam._ He told himself before he began, "Oh great and powerful goddess, Iris. I, the goddess Artemis, aka the not so godly Dean, call you here. I call you and beg a favor that you-"

"Artemis." Dean whipped around and eyed the goddess uneasily. Unlike Apollo, she had limited care for human semblance. Didn't bother with it. Her form was maybe a foot tall at best, floating above the ground so that she was eyelevel with him. Her eyes held the rainbows in them, genuinely held them. Her eyes were a perfect reflection of a perfect rainbow and from the angle he was in he couldn't see the beelike wings he knew she had. "All of us have taken an oath not to help you with your stolen powers."

"That's not what I want." It wasn't why he was there. It was something he'd kill for but it wasn't why he was there.

"I have things to do, Artemis. Tell me what you want from me so I can return." The goddess tilted her head, aggression seeping through her words. Dean knew she was going to be pissed at him for this one and there was no way to ask it without pissing her off.

"I need you to find someone for me." Iris flinched, her eyes shooting daggers at him as she fluttered backwards.

"Do you understand what he'll do to me if he finds me?" She spat out angrily, "Already he's destroyed Penthus and Nemesis, and those are just of _our_ pantheon! Have you any idea the damage he's doing to us? All because he's trying to find you and those damned Vessels!"

"Iris, please."

"No!" She shrieked. "I will not die for your brother! I will not die for your lies! If I had the power I would destroy you here and now! Leave, Dean. Leave and never return! If you ever enter the eastern continents again we will destr-"

"You swore me an _oath_ , Iris."

This was something he didn't want to do. Force her to cooperate with him. There was a sharp buzzing sound in the air as she flew forward so that she was centimeters from his face, he backed up reflexively.

"Take your oath and shove it up your ass, Dean. I made an oath to the goddess Artemis. You are _not_ her. Haven't been for a very long time. _Leave._ "

"I _am_ Artemis, Iris. Whether you like it or not. Artemis and I were bonded Soul and Grace. Go to Amber Jackson in Moore, Oklahoma. See that and tell me I am not Artemis. Ask her mother if I am not Artemis." The goddess was seething, furious. However, she did disappear, leaving a flash of color behind her. Dean hadn't even considered this as evidence of him doing Artemis' will when he'd done it. He'd just done it. Done it without any real reason other than her faith. She'd believed in him and it left him wondering how many he'd failed over the years.

Several long moments and Iris returned, the hostility replaced with wariness. "You cured her illness. Why?"

"Because her mother believed in Artemis. Truly believed in me. I've failed them for years. I've failed those that believe. I'm not the only one either. We've all failed them. The difference is I know what I am. I turned on everyone. I turned on my followers. I'm back now though. I'm back and I'm going to do them right."

Iris' expression softened a fraction and she nodded. "Okay. I will uphold my oath. On one condition. This better not be a lie. If I find out that I help you find that brother of yours and you stop holding up the ideals of Artemis, I will find Lucifer and I will tell them exactly where you are. You know I can find you. That I will always find you. You are never safe from me."

Dean nodded once and Iris disappeared again. Dean waited for what could've been hours. All he could do was wait there and hope that she didn't die. Hope that Lucifer didn't kill her. If he did…it would be Dean's fault. Dean had sent her there knowing full well that Lucifer would kill her if he found her. He'd risked a goddess who had always tried to stay out of everything so he could find his brother. It was stupid and he knew the other gods would be furious at him for it either way. Finally, just when Dean was certain she'd never return, Iris appeared before him, slumping to the ground and shivering violently. Dean's eyes widened and he knelt before her.

"Iris-"

"He is in the Judeo-Christian Hell. The deepest parts of it. You owe me a favor for this, Dean. That was more than anything I owed you." Iris' wings fluttered violently behind her, shaking off what he could tell was frost.

"I promise."

Iris nodded and snapped her fingers. "It will return you to North America. Unless you are gathering an offering, do not choose to come to the Eastern continents again."

Dean looked to his left to see a shimmering rainbow had materialized with a separate power mixed into it. Hermes.

Without another word he stepped through the portal and stepped out in Colorado.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't catch it. Will is the hunter that Dalara killed and gave her a bad rep with hunters. Will is also Ellen's husband and Jo's dad. Gabriel didn't know this because he didn't pay attention when Bobby told them about it. Cas did which is why he was so twitchy during the conversation he had with Ellen. He was worried Bobby had told her about their encounter with her.


	5. 4: Buying a Stairway To Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stole a bit from the Dark Side of the Moon [5.16] transcript. Enjoy.

Gabriel paced in Bobby's house as he waited impatiently for Dean to show his face again. They had something to work with now. It was information which was more than they'd had since this entire nightmare started.

"You're gonna wear a hole in the floor, boy. Stop pacing." Bobby told him irritably as he looked up from the book he was going through. Gabriel grimaced but forced himself to sit back down on the couch, grabbing his recently abandoned bag of gummy worms and biting into one. "What's with this new gummy worm obsession?"

"I eat candy all the time." He protested, of course he didn't bother protesting his recent obsession with the poor worms. It was stress eating mixed with stress stressing and no one could stop him from it.

"Right. Well, look. I get you're worried about your brother. Pacing ain't going to do any good. Now pick up a book."

"I'm not worried about Cas. Cas has a Guardian Angel." Gabriel defended honestly as he grabbed one of the summoning books that he was certain he'd read before.

"This is about Sam then." His adoptive father addressed and he winced. "You aren't doing him any good stressing over him. I saw the way that angel looked at you. Sooner we find something, sooner he'll be here."

"He's being tortured by _Lucifer_." He emphasized the name, biting back the anger.

"Watch your tone, boy. I get that. I do. It don't mean he'll break. You said he fought through Hell to save you? You don't think he won't fight his way back out?"

Gabriel considered this. Balthazar had said Sam's screams broke through, but what if they didn't? Sam had told him once that if he tried hard enough he could break through Naomi's control. What if he was breaking through whatever Lucifer was bindings on him and that had been a backlash of it. Was Sam strong enough for that? Was his angel able to do something like that? Honestly, he didn't want to underestimate him. There was a glimmer of hope, the first glimmer of hope he'd had since Balthazar told them Lucifer was free and had Sam.

"Thanks, Bobby." He muttered as he went to reading a book on demonic summoning.

.-~*~-.

Four hours later Gabriel was fixing the radio on a '78 Lincoln Continental that had come into the salvage yard the night before Cas and him had gone to River Pass. Cas had taken a liking to it and since he had hit yet another exhausting dead end on summoning rituals he'd decided to go outside to fix it while he waited for Dean to show his face or someone to call. Of course he didn't know the first thing about what was wrong with the engine so he'd taken to fixing the part he knew he could fix. It looked like someone had tried, and failed, to hotwire the car. Just as he'd leaned in under the console someone smacked the roof of the car, scaring the ever living hell out of him and causing him to hit his head.

"What the fuck!" He yelled angrily as he stumbled out of the car, holding his head. A look to his right and he groaned at the sight of plaid. Dean.

"Good to see you too, Gabriel. I've got a lead on Sam."

"Hell." Gabriel stated blandly and Dean looked confused.

"How do you know that?"

"Balthazar guessed." Gabriel answered as he struggled to his feet, rubbing the back of his head. "How'd you figure it out?" He asked the god.

"Called in a favor from Iris." Dean stated casually and Gabriel stared at him for a moment.

"The Greek messenger goddess? How would she get to Hell without Lucifer catching her?"

"She's one of the fastest beings in existence. Probably not her first time in the pit. I risked her life though. Risked her to find Sam. An angel I hadn't seen for several thousand years until he showed up in that motel."

"Sorry if helping your brother is such a-"

Dean shot him a lethal look and he shut up. "I love my brothers. All of them. I'd risk the world to save them all. Do you have any _idea_ how shitty I feel for what happened? What I wouldn't give to go back and stop Sam from killing Lilith? I can't help the rest of Heaven but we can help Sam. Where's Cas?"

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably and stepped back. "Gone."

"Gone?" Dean asked incredulously.

"With Meg. We went on a hunt and-"

"Didn't I tell you to stay put?" Dean ground out angrily and Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"You aren't our mom, Dean. Bobby got a call from Rufus and I jumped on it."

"I didn't tell you to stay in because I thought you needed a vacation. Lucifer wants your brother and while I couldn't give two shits about you I do care about his wellbeing."

"And so he comes out with the truth. You really do care about my baby bro."

Dean glared violently at him and he just smiled innocently back at him.

"Balthazar is still with him, right?"

"Yes. Guardian Angel stalker is stalking him. He's safe. I'm the flight risk, remember? Cas won't say 'yes' as long as I don't."

Dean searched him for several moments before nodding. Then the god's demeanor changed to very uncomfortable. "Now that we have this established, I need to ask a massive favor of you. One you're probably going to kill me for." Gabriel waited uneasily and Dean obviously was done beating around the bush because he just bluntly stated, "I need you to die."

It was Gabriel's turn to stare at Dean incredulously, his stomach twisting as he fought back the urge to strangle Dean then and there.

"I can't go back to Hell. I could handle the cold as an Archangel but Hell isn't meant for gods. It nearly killed Iris when she made the trip."

"I'm _not_ going to-"

"It's the only thing I can think of. I had a lot of time to think and there just aren't any good options. If you die, you're damned. Hell's got your Soul. When you go to Hell, Lucifer will snag you in an instant and I can use a blood brother bond to follow the both of you down and bypass all the other drama."

"Assuming all of that isn't absolutely fucking insane, how the _hell_ do you plan to get us out once we're down there? Also, I thought you couldn't use Pagan Airlines." Gabriel demanded and Dean waved his hand, a faintly familiar sigil appearing burnt into the ground.

"Following a bond's different. As for freeing us, an angel banishing sigil." He nodded to the sigil. "You won't be able to make it but I will. I banish both Lucifer and Sam and they get thrown back on Earth. I'll drag your Soul back up and summon Sam. Then I'll resurrect you." Despite the confidence in Dean's voice, it was obvious that there were massive holes in the plan. The most important being his status as an angel's soul. He still didn't understand that completely but from what he understood he wasn't supposed to be resurrected the first time. How could Dean do it again?

"I thought I couldn't be brought back."

"Technically, no. No angel's Soul is allowed to be resurrected. That rule has existed since the dawn of humanity. Debriel was the one ordered to spread that fact. When Lucifer attempted, and failed, to resurrect Lilith, things changed. The Souls were locked down in Heaven and in Hell. No creature in existence could resurrect them. You are the first Soul in existence to be successfully revived. Do you know why you get to break that rule?"

"Because I'm too lovable to die." Gabriel jibed, thinking over the words. He knew the answer. It was clear as day. Gabriel couldn't die because he was Michael's True Vessel.

"True Vessels can't die. Despite being a Soul, you and Cas get to break the rule. Archangels only get one True Vessel. If the True Vessel dies before we get to it, we can easily resurrect them to get consent back. As long as you're Michael's True Vessel and Cas is Lucifer's, nothing can keep you dead."

"Unless there's a very pissed off Archangel waiting to grab you in Hell." Gabriel said weakly. If Dean was right, this was their chance. They had a chance. They could save Sam. All he had to do was…die, and let Lucifer torture him.

Was he willing to die for Sam? Was it worth facing off against Lucifer to save the angel that he'd made the terrible mistake of falling in love with?

"Damn it. Let's do this." He muttered, a ripple of fear crossing through him. Hell. He was going back to Hell. _For Sam._

"First. I need a blood brother bond with you. That's the only way I'll be able to follow you."

"I swear-"

"No sex. Blood bonds and Soul bonds aren't the same as a blood brother bond. Basically this will set a limited connection between the goddess Artemis and Gabriel Novak. It'll allow me to follow you into death. That's it."

Gabriel didn't remark on the strangeness of him casually referring to himself as Artemis or the even stranger fact that he had talked about Debriel as a completely separate entity. It was weird, but it could be weirder.

"Okay." Gabriel moved to the side, shutting the door of the Continental and making his way to the hood, hopping up on it and watching Dean walk over in front of him.

"So how's this work?"

Dean conjured a knife that looked oddly like a golden arrowhead bound to a thick stick. Gabriel blinked as Dean pulled the blade across the palm of his hand before handing it to Gabriel. After a moment, Gabriel grimaced and did the same. After taking the god's bloody hand with his own he shuddered at the feeling of magic rippling through him. Different than what the blood bonds had done. It was cool and light and wrapped around his very core.

"That it?" He asked shakily and Dean nodded as they let go. "So now I just have to die."

"I'll stop your heart. It'll be simpler than trying to heal you of a major injury." Gabriel took a breath as he leaned back, staring at the cloudy sky.

"Alright. Let's do this."

"Try not to piss him off." Dean warned him before snapping his fingers.

.-~*~-.

Gabriel stretched out in bed, sighing contently as he took a gummy worm from the bag next to him, popping it into his mouth as he watched an old rerun of Doctor Who on the TV at the foot of his bed. There was something…nagging at the back of his mind. Something he couldn't place. What was it?

"Gabe! Cas! Time for dinner!" His mother called from downstairs. The doubt was ripped from his mind in a moment as he reluctantly climbed out of bed, glancing at The Seventh Doctor one last time with disappointment. Granted he knew how it ended but getting cut off in the middle of an episode was its own form of torture. Either way. With a sigh he left his room and was downstairs, sitting at the table and wait…

"So how was school, Cas?" His mother asked casually from across him. Mom. There was no question that Terra Novak had been Cas' mom. He was the spitting image of her and…why was he crying? Gabriel wiped his fingers across his face and stared at the teardrops in confusion. Cas and Mom were talking casually, as though he wasn't crying.

Something was seriously wrong.

" _I'll stop your heart."_ Gabriel jerked at the sudden jolt in his chest, a shout escaping him. Neither of his family members responded to it.

Wait.

No.

His mom was dead.

_Burning heat._

" _Gabriel, get your brother outside! Go!"_

_Running as fast as his little legs could carry him, a six month old brother-_

" _Gabriel!_ " Gabriel whipped around to look at the radio behind him. That voice. Distorted as though talking through a bad radio reception. Was it possible?

"Dean?" He asked incredulously. The radio was trying to tune itself.

"Listen. You… in Hell. You… in Heaven."

"Heaven." Gabriel stated stupidly. Heaven. How the _fuck_ was he in Heaven? He'd sold his soul. He was hellbound.

"Yes." The voice said and drew him from his thoughts, finally coming through clear.

"Dean, I'm with Mom and-"

"It isn't _real_ , Gabriel. I can't bring you back."

"What do you mean you can't bring me back?" Gabriel demanded angrily. That had been the deal. He'd be brought back. Yet…did he want to be brought back? Even if it wasn't real, it was better than reality. He'd been looking for an escape but…

"I mean I'm banished from Heaven. I'd have to find a gate or be drug in by an angel. Look, you're in danger. Raphael's going to be looking for you."

"What?" Was he serious?

"Raphael wants Michael back. That's the whole reason he decided to jumpstart Judgment Day. If he gets his hands on you, I honestly don't know what he'll do. Gabriel, you need to sneak out of your Heaven before Raphael finds you. Did Sam give you the rundown on Heaven by chance?"

Gabriel shook his head before realizing the god couldn't see him, "No. Just showed me different Heavens."

Dean groaned audibly from the other side as the ground started shaking, the walls and everything rattling loudly.

"Um, Dean. It sounds like the T-Rex from Jurassic Park is about to break down my door."

"Fuck. Okay. Find a road. Or a path. Some sort of trail. Make your way down it and find your way to Heaven's Garden. Be quick and don't stick around for anything. Go."

Gabriel looked around panicked. Path. What kind of path could he possibly?..." Gabriel spotted the TV in the nearby living room. Wizard of Oz. Dorothy and the others were skipping down the road and he approached the TV-

Gabriel whipped around and was somewhere new. A small park. On the playground was a six year old Cas, climbing up the side of the tallest part of the equipment dangerously and Gabriel's heart sank when he recognized this scene. Where he was, there was a girl around four or five years older than himself, fifteen or so, and to the limited knowledge of him she was flirting with him. Of course that didn't change what was happening on the playground. Just as the girl said something, flicking her hair over her shoulder, Gabriel watched in horror as his little brother slipped and fell. Fell down.

There were screams and he shouted, "Cas!" Without a thought he was running, running to his brother's side and kneeling there.

This was _not_ a scene that should've been in his Heaven.

At the time he hadn't seen it either. Hadn't even noticed. His brother's neck was cleanly broken. It shouldn't have been. There was no logic. The fall shouldn't have been enough but it was which meant-

The ground started shaking and he was reminded of what was happening here. Heaven. This was supposed to be Heaven. Why then had he just learned his brother had died when they were little? It wasn't…

Gabriel jerked away from the body and looked around, rolling the dice and running towards the sidewalk and beginning a trek down it. A few moments later and he was in a field. This was familiar. Safe. What the _fuck_?

"Gabriel." Gabriel whipped around and his heart sank. Sam. There he was. He knew it wasn't him. This wasn't his angel. This was an illusion created by his Heaven. Supposed to be created for his comfort. For his happiness. This wasn't that though. This was heartbreaking. The angel that he was supposed to be saving. There he was. Whole and well. An uncomfortable smile on his face. Gabriel wanted to throw himself into his angel's arms. Apologize a thousand times over. He'd fucked up so bad.

"Gabriel Novak." He whipped around and was met with the sight of a familiar dark skinned angel who was smiling dangerously.

"Uriel." He greeted uncomfortably as he stepped back, Fake Sam stepping between them.

"Come on, Gabriel. Raphael wants to speak with you. You don't want to leave an Archangel waiting, do you?" The angel asked and Gabriel turned, running into the tree line helplessly earning a laugh from the angel. "Really, Gabriel? Running?" The angel called from behind him as he ran for dear life, looking for another path, somewhere, anywhere. "Come on you little mud monkey."

Gabriel dropped down behind a large rock as wings fluttered nearby. He didn't breathe, he was dead. It didn't change anything. This wasn't good. He'd been prepared for Lucifer because he'd had a guaranteed escape route. Now though. Now he was stuck. Stuck in Heaven.

"Come out, Gabriel. I don't have all day." Uriel ordered from nearby, his tone bland.

A man in a mask in a cape came out from behind a tree, pressing his fingers to his lips and jerking his thumb behind him before turning and running. Gabriel considered his options before getting to his feet and running after the person. The man stopped at an ugly shed that had no logical reason to being there, throwing his head over his shoulder before drawing sigils onto it quickly. He flung the door open and went in, Gabriel following behind him.

Gabriel blinked at the change, slightly disoriented. "Wait, who the hell are you…" Gabriel trailed off as he began to recognize the location. The Roadhouse. Holy shit.

Gabriel looked over as the man pulled the mask off. _Ash._ "Buenos dias." The man greeted with a grin.

"Wait, you're _dead?_ " Gabriel asked, that fact being the easiest one to question.

"Yep. Welcome to my blue heaven."

Gabriel took in the sight completely and wasn't sure whether to run or slump into one of the chairs comfortably. "God, I haven't been here in _years_. It even smells the same."

"Bud, blood, and beer nuts. It's the best smell in the world." Ash stated as he walked around behind the bar, setting the mask down on the counter and snapping his fingers. "How 'bout a cold one? Up here? No hangover."

Gabriel finally caved and settled into one of the bar stools. "I'll pass. Got any candy?"

"Never changed." Ash pulled a bowl of skittles out from under the counter and set them on the table.

Gabriel greedily grabbed a handful and shoved them in his mouth. "So, no offense." He swallowed around the mouthful of candies.

"How did a dirt bag like me end up in a place like this? I've been saved. I was my congregation's number one snake handler."

God it'd been years since he'd seen Ash. He must've died when The Roadhouse was burnt down. It was a bit surreal. When Ellen had told him to never show his face again, he hadn't just left Ellen and Jo behind.

"And you said this was your heaven?"

"Yep. My own personal…" Gabriel watched as Ash chugged down a beer before burping and wiping his mouth.

"So when the angel jumped me?"

"That was your heaven. Well, from what I've heard, you and your brother's."

"Okay. I get there's a bunch of heavens. Sam explained that to me. Why am I supposed to be sharing a Heaven with my brother, though?"

"Only a few people share, special cases, what not." Ash explained.

"What do you mean 'special'?" Gabriel asked. He remembered when Sam had mentioned that Lilly and Dalara were meant to share a heaven because they were soulmates. That didn't explain why him and his brother were sharing one.

"Aw, you know. Like, uh, soulmates." Ash shifted uncomfortably at Gabriel's glare. "Anyway. Most people can't leave their own private Idaho's."

So him and his brother were soulmates? How the _hell_ did that work? Their relationship was completely platonic. Maybe soulmates didn't have to be romantic or sexual. He'd never really heard the term past that, but it was the only explanation.

"You got in my heaven."

"I'm not most people. They ain't got my skills. Hell, I've been all over. Johnny Cash. André the Giant. Einstein. That man can mix a White Russian. Hell, the other day? I found Mall anāga Vātsyāyana."

"Who?" It wasn't at all surprising that this man kept confusing him. Looks could be deceiving. Guy was a super genius.

"He wrote the Kama Sutra. Huh, that boy's heaven? Ah, sweaty. Confusing."

"All this from a guy that used to sleep on a pool table." Gabriel shook his head, remembering the first time he'd seen Ash, passed out on a pool table. Right before he'd met Jo.

"Yeah. Now that I'm dead, I'm living, man, a whole lot more."

"So how'd you find me?" Gabriel asked, shoving away memories of bad blood between him and Ellen for something he wasn't completely responsible for.

Ash grinned and pulled an old laptop out from under the bar, setting it on the table. "I rigged up my very own holy-rolling police scanner." Ash pressed a button and a piercing sound filled the air, making him cover his ears and wince. "That's angels. Blabbing Enochian, okay? I'm fluent." Of course he was. Thankfully, he shut it off and put it back. "I heard them talking about getting their hands on Michael's Vessel and I had to come find you before Raphael got his hands on you. You realize that Lucifer wants you skinned alive and left out to dry?"

"Trying not to remember. How do you know that?"

"Lucifer's an angel. He talked a lot before he got bumped out of his box. Doesn't talk much anymore unless he's raging about Samuel killing Lilith."

"Yeah, sorry about that." He grimaced and Ash shook his head.

"You were setup for failure."

"You haven't seen my parents by chance have you?" Because he had to ask. He needed to know.

"Afraid not. Didn't cross my mind to look. I've visited a few of those that got themselves killed during the pre-apocalypse Apocalypse but I haven't seen John."

"How about Will?"

"Ellen's husband? Don't tell me you'd be dumb enough to want to see him."

"Wait, what?" Gabriel asked, extremely confused. Will was- oh hell. If she'd been honest, which he was inclined to believe, that meant that… _holy shit._ Ash knew? Did Ellen know?

"Considering he wasn't around much I'm not surprised you didn't know. Haven't seen him. Not interested in looking." Ash pushed it off with a distasteful look. If she'd been honest, he really hoped that Will _was_ in Hell.

"Right. Well, I need to get to The Garden."

"Of course you do." Ash pulled the laptop from under the counter and began tapping away on it. Several long minutes later and three bowls of skittles and Ash grinned triumphantly. "Got a short cut to The Garden!" He yelled, unnecessarily Gabriel might add. Pushing off the stool he followed Ash to the door where he was drew a new sigil. "All Access Pass to the Magic Kingdom." Ash said.

"Good." Gabriel needed out of there, and soon. He hoped that whatever reason Dean had sent him to The Garden for would lead him back to living because he wasn't particularly content with the whole being dead thing.

"Not good. Uriel's going to be watching every road to The Garden." Gabriel swallowed but nodded. "Not to be a downer or anything but… I'm sure I'll see you again."

It was true too. Sooner or later, he was going to die again. Then this entire mess would be repeated. He didn't want to repeat this. He wanted his semi-normal hunter life back. Hell, his brother was currently living a normal life and he was in fucking _Heaven._

"Keep me those skittles." He told Ash, smiling grimly as he headed through the door.

This wasn't a Garden. This was a familiar room, dark and empty. His childhood home.

"What?" Gabriel asked himself, confused as he looked around. Great. After a moment of consideration he decided he needed to find another path and- when he turned around Terra, his mom, was standing there. Dark hair, familiar blue eyes.

"Honey? What are you doing up?"

"Mom, I'm sorry…I can't…you're not real and…" He tried to move past her but she stepped in his way.

"Did you have another nightmare? Tell me."

"I've gotta go. I can't-"

"Then how 'bout I tell you my nightmare, Gabe? The night I burned." Gabriel's heart sank as blood pooled in a wound on her nightgown, right above her stomach. This was wrong. This was so very wrong.

He backed up, staring at his not-mother with fear. "Don't you walk away from me." She ordered and he froze, "I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Raising another woman's son? Such a stupid choice. Look what it got me." The woman's eyes flicked yellow and he froze, a few seconds later the light in the room flickered to an unsettling green light. Not-Terra blinked and her eyes were normal, she tilted her head. "The worst was the smell. The pain, well. What can you say about your own skin bubbling off? But the smell was so…you know, for a second I thought I'd left a pot roast burning in the oven. But… it was my meat."

Gabriel ripped his gaze away. This wasn't real. It couldn't be because his mother couldn't cook. The demon hadn't gone after him. The words were meant to hurt him. The lies constructed to torment him. They were working too. It didn't matter what he knew, they hurt. He went to make his way to where the door had been but the door was bricked over. He needed out. He needed to go.

"And then, finally, I was dead. The one silver lining was that at least I was away from you. Some other woman's son. The product of an affair. Everybody leaves you. You noticed? Your mother didn't want you. I didn't want you. Your daddy got himself killed just to get away. Your angel bailed on you then lied and said he had been drug here by Naomi. You ever ask yourself why? Why no one stays? Maybe it's not them. Maybe it's just you." She chuckled.

"Let up a bit." Uriel's voice broke through the room and Gabriel whipped around to see him walk up behind Not-Terra who was smiling evilly.

"She's not real."

"Of course not. But she is being honest." Uriel shrugged. "Now come on. Did you honestly think you could break into The Garden? Did you honestly think an ape like you could go to the most _sacred_ part of Heaven?"

"From what I heard, it's not very sacred anymore. Ever since Daddy and big bro skipped town." Gabriel smirked at the furious glare Uriel gave him.

"Samuel has told you far more than he had any right to."

"Yep. What can I say? My angel loves me."

"And now he's in Lucifer's hands."

Gabriel buried his pained reaction and smiled sweetly, "He knows I'm going to save him. If Raphael wants to make you drag me to him he can go fuck himself. I'm not getting put in the center of some incest fest."

"What did you just say?"

"Oh, you didn't hear?" He asked casually, "Michael and Raphael were fucking before he skipped outta Heaven."

Not-Terra vanished, and Uriel stormed forward, lifting him up by his throat.

"You shut your mouth."

"It's true." He grinned and the angel pulled his fist back to punch him no doubt, however he was interrupted.

"Excuse me. Sir?" Uriel dropped him and turned as a small older dark skinned male appeared.

"I'm a bit busy."

"I'm sorry. I need to speak to him." The man motioned towards Gabriel.

"Excuse me?" Uriel asked him, stunned.

"It's a bad time. I know. I'm afraid I have to insist."

"You don't get to insist anything." Uriel spat out angrily.

"No. You're right. But The Boss does. His orders."

"You're lying." Uriel sounded uncertain though.

"I wouldn't lie about this. Look, get me fired if you want. Sooner or later, He's going to come back home and you know how He is with that whole wrath thing."

Uriel stiffened in front of him before disappearing in a flutter of wings. Gabriel stared at the man with confusion and the scene flicked. No longer were they in the house, instead they were in a faintly familiar garden. What?

Gabriel pushed to his feet and approached the man warily. "This is The Garden? The one Sam's always talking about?" It didn't look anything like the endless beauty Sam had described to him.

"You're mortal. It takes a different form for your perception. I believe this is the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip." The man said, smiling slightly and it clicked together. Gabriel had been here on a field trip. Back in one of his many elementary schools.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Joshua."

"How'd you scare off Uriel?" Gabriel asked and Joshua smiled at him.

"God talks to me." He explained and Gabriel stared at him dumbly. "That's why you were sent to me. Debriel was hoping He would revive you since he cannot."

"Wait, wait. God's around? Where the fuck is He?" Gabriel demanded angrily, Joshua didn't even flinch.

"On Earth."

"Doing what?" Gabriel demanded. The world was falling apart and Sam…

"I don't know. We don't exactly speak face-to-face."

"Every angel I've met says He bailed on them. Why the fuck isn't He butting in?"

"It's not His problem."

"They're His _kids_." Gabriel stressed the word angrily and Joshua sighed.

"I know. All of the angels, all of the humans, all of creation. We're all His children. He's done being a Father. He has a message for you, Gabriel."

"Fuck Him." Gabriel ground out angrily.

"He wants to apologize for not saving Samuel."

"Tell you what. He brings my angel back and we'll call the situation good."

"It isn't that simple, Gabriel. Your angel is in Lucifer's hands."

"He's God!" Gabriel shouted angrily and Joshua shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Gabriel. I wish I could do more." Joshua sounded so damned honest and Gabriel believed him. It didn't mean he wasn't angry.

"Fine. Why am I in _Heaven_? I sold my soul. I should be downstairs getting ripped apart by Lucifer and saving my angel."

"I don't know." Joshua admitted. "He hasn't said anything on the matter, but I don't believe it was Him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gabriel asked, confused again. Someone had freed his soul from his Hell deal?

"I believe there is someone else working behind the scenes. It's time to go now. I wish you the best of luck in saving Earth." Gabriel grit his teeth at the vague response. There was a whole lot going on, having some unknown force cut his Hell contract was _not_ comforting.

A bright flash of light and Gabriel sat up gasping.

"Gabriel?" Dean was half leaning over him and he nearly punched the god in the face.

"Good job, Dean-o." Gabriel spat out angrily as he shoved off the bed, making his way out of the room and down the stairs with a god on his tail.

"I didn't know."

"That was a waste of time and-"

Gabriel froze into the living area as a body appeared on the couch, unconscious and covered to the brim in gashes and a mixture of human blood and golden blood.

"Sam?" He choked out.


	6. 5: Some Torture Is Worse Than Others

For one single second, Dean had felt it. A power so old that he'd initially been unsure if it was real. One single second and then Sam was lying on the couch.

It had been Him.

He'd been a bit late. Dean couldn't see the damage. No amount of god magic would make him able to see an angel's true form again. It would take finding his Grace to do that. While he needed to find his Grace, he'd never absorb it again. If their loving Father wanted him to return to Heaven, He'd have to drag him there kicking and screaming, which meant He'd have to return.

There was a bigger problem at hand. Sam was here, which meant he wasn't with Lucifer. If Lucifer wasn't preoccupied with punishing Sam, who knew what he'd do? Lucifer was a ticking time bomb of anger and agony.

The form on the couch twisted slightly, struggling to turn himself off his back and onto his stomach. An agonized shout escaped him and suddenly Dean was moving, pushing Gabriel to the side and lifting his little brother up, turning him over so he was lying on his stomach, willing a pair of loose sweatpants onto him to cover his naked lower half. He didn't dare risk putting a shirt on him. Not with his wings being there.

No. Dean couldn't see what Lucifer had done. He knew though.

"Dean, what-"

"Balthazar, annoying Angel Of The Lord. Bring Cas and Meg to Bobby's. Now." Dean threw a terrible prayer out as Sam cried out in agony again. Trying to get up. Trying to move. "Sammy, calm down. Relax." Sam was babbling incoherently into the cushion, his body shaking violently.

"Samuel... " Balthazar's voice rang through, his words coming out with an indecipherable emotion.

"How bad are his wings, Balthazar?" Dean demanded as Gabriel pushed next to him, the two of them sharing an angry glare.

To Dean's brief surprise, Sam relaxed under the proximity, he was still violently shaking but he wasn't trying to get up anymore. _Of course_. Dean allowed Sam's Soul proximity though he was still very wary of Gabriel. No matter what Gabriel had done for his brother, he wouldn't trust him. Not yet. While he'd been pushing his brother to give into his Soul in the past, he'd done it under different circumstances. When Sam was, for the most part, rational minded.

"His wings are basically gone... " Balthazar told them, his words mournful and angry. Dean wasn't surprised, though he was furious. It'd been years since he'd been in Heaven. Thousands of years. It was one thing, maiming another angel's wings in a fight. Attacking them as a way to disable the opponent. Hell, he'd _taught_ most the young angels how to do it. It was a cruel tactic and a last resort. Their wings were sensitive and there'd once been a Seraph that was specially assigned to care for them _because_ of how sensitive they were.

Harming an angel's wings just to torture them was a very low move. While Dean was well aware Lucifer was grieving and rightfully angry, it was cruel, _wrong_. Torturing an angel's wings was just below killing their Soul but above killing them. Dean wasn't sure how bad of shape their second oldest brother was in, but knowing what he did at that point told them a lot. For Lucifer to stoop that low...

"Balthazar, are they salvageable?" Dean asked, struggling to keep his voice calm. Inside, he was fighting with a very, very old desire to confront his older brother. Doing that wouldn't solve the problem. Lucifer would smite him for being involved in Lilith's death. If he was lucky.

"I wouldn't know how to." Balthazar told him bluntly, his voice a bit closer. There was the distinct sound of two other voices talking but Dean didn't bother with listening to them. Gabriel grabbed his arm and his grit his teeth.

"The humans need to leave the room. We're going to have to do something and it'll kill anyone that can't see an angel's True Form. _Out._ " Dean ordered, standing and turning around. Balthazar was ducked down slightly, his demeanor clearly submissive. Dean might not have had his Grace anymore, but it didn't change what he'd once been. Cas was standing by the door with Meg and- "She stays." Dean told them, narrowing his eyes at the woman. How had he missed that little detail before? Especially when he'd still had his Grace the first time he'd met her. Her demeanor was the same, subtly but there. Instinct guiding her.

"I don't-"

" _Out._ " He ordered and Meg muttered a reassurance before Cas reluctantly left the room. Gabriel wasn't quite as cooperative.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to have Balthazar possess me so I can try, and probably, fail to salvage my little brother's wings."

"What-"

Dean snapped his fingers and, hopefully, sent Gabriel into town. Of course, the moment his Soul vanished Sam began freaking out, muttering in Enochian and trying to get up. The words were too fast and too distorted but there was a distinctive "Lucifer" muddled into the mess of words.

"You buried it really well, Brother. Who are you?" Dean asked as he snapped his fingers again, removing the back of the couch so his brother could lay flat on his stomach.

"Gavreel." Meg admitted after a moment while Dean carefully pinned Sam down despite his protesting shouts. Gavreel. That was a name he hadn't heard in centuries. Gavreel had been the first angel to run from Heaven, around the time that Lucifer had Fallen. One of the many losses that had been erased from all the lower level angels. It made sense that the Angel of Peace had run, what didn't make sense is why he'd decided dating Lucifer's Vessel was a smart idea. How far had he strayed over the years that he thought it was a good idea? That anything but danger could come from such a stupid move.

"Balthazar, I need you to do this. I can't touch them as a god."

"I thought you said-"

"This body is the Archangel Debriel's True Vessel. I don't know what would happen to you if you possessed his body after he's already possessed it once. It's already tried to destroy me. You're going to have to do it. Gavreel, you'll need to help him."

The heavily cloaked Seraph joined his side warily as he began directing them into position. Sam was muttering pleas, begging them to stop, begging them to kill him. It was coherent wording and Dean was certain that at this point he honestly had no clue that he was free from Lucifer. He couldn't _do_ anything for him. All he could do was talk his younger brothers through the process of cutting away tattered and broken Grace.

There was a reason he'd locked the humans out. Sam was a low-level angel, and no doubt Fallen after that stunt with Lilith. After they began, Sam's Vessel was barely containing his Form, sending out waves of blinding Grace that he was only half safe against.

By the end of it he could feel liquid trickling from the corners of his eyes and felt as though they _had_ burnt out. His ears rang hollowly and there was heavy amounts of damage to his Form, the couch and Sam's body were both covered in the golden blood of angels from the blades cutting into broken wings carefully and methodically. They'd tried all they could. Up until the two angels told him that there was simply too much damage they'd tried to salvage his wings.

They'd tried their damnedest and it made him sick that they hadn't succeeded. The failure meant they'd be forced to do something that they had no right to do. Sam was still screaming and begging for mercy, for death, Dean couldn't begin to guess the unbearable pain he was in. During training in the earlier days he'd allowed more than one angel to stab his wings. To give them a semblance that they were outfighting the second greatest warrior in Heaven. He knew it hurt. He also knew that the last several hours of attempts at cutting away broken fractions of Grace and trying to set the broken limbs had been cruel. There'd been a chance otherwise he never would've done it. Now, though? Now they had to do something that they had no right to.

"Give me your blade, Balthazar." Dean ordered, holding his hand out. The lower anger did as told, handing it over with reluctance.

"I wish we could do more." Gavreel spoke from next to him as he took the blade. It felt wrong in his hand, lighter than his own Archangel Blade had been. It was still all he needed.

Kneeling down next to his brother he spoke softly. "Sam, I need you to relax. I need you to calm down. It's Dean. It's your brother. I won't hurt you. I promise. I'll keep you safe. You need to spread your wings away from your Vessel. I get that they hurt like hell but you have to do this. If you do this, I'll cut them off. If you do this, the pain will stop." Sam stopped struggling at his words, making pained sounds and still violently shaking. To be honest, Dean wasn't sure whether Sam was doing it because he'd told him to or because he was hoping for mercy from Lucifer. It didn't matter. He did it. Dean knew the moment it happened because Sam shrieked and Dean _knew_ his Vessel's eardrums had just ruptured. All he could hear was the ringing of Sam's True Voice. It stopped in a single moment, following the swift slashing of Balthazar's angel blade across his back and a splatter of golden blood.

Silence, pure stillness. None of the creatures in the room were breathing. Subconsciously he used a rush of god power that he really should've been saving to heal the damage to his Vessel's eardrums, not daring to waste more on anything else.

Sam. Sam was _quiet. Still._ For the first time since he'd arrived.

Then he was sitting, looking around with panicked eyes. "Nonononono!" Sam cried out, reaching around behind him and grabbing for the missing appendages. "NO!"

"Sammy." He grabbed his brother's hands, squeezing them until Sam registered the pressure and looked at him with such a fearful expression Dean wanted to destroy Lucifer for it. He had no right. They were supposed to protect their younger siblings.

"Don't. Don't do this to me. Kill me. End this. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It was a mistake. We didn't know." Sam began spluttering out Enochian as he ripped out of Dean's hold, stumbling backwards off the couch until his back was against the TV. "Please. Please, Lucifer. Please." Dean internally recoiled at being called Lucifer. He knew it wasn't his fault but it still hurt. It hurt like Hell.

"Get Gabriel." Dean ordered as he climbed to the edge of the couch, not daring to approach any closer to his panicking brother. "Listen to me, Sammy. You're free."

"You're lying. You aren't Debriel. Kill me. Just kill me and get it over with. You took my wings. What more can you do?"

"I'm _real_ , Sam. It's over. You're free. You're safe."

"You're lying!" Sam shouted as Balthazar appeared with a human in tow. Sam froze, his gaze fixating on his Soul.

Something that couldn't be faked. Something that had to be real. Dean knew Gabriel was the only thing that would be able to get through to Sam. All but intoxicating his brother was the only solution. That high would be proof. Proof that this was real.

"You can't... how... Lucifer had me." Sam met his gaze, his eyes showing just how much he longed for this to be true, showing just how fearful he was that it was all a trick, or worse, that Lucifer had gotten his hands on Gabriel. "Tell me something only Debriel would know. I need... I need proof. Please."

Dean racked his memories of Heaven, long since locked away. It was difficult. He'd trained thousands of angels. Thousands of them. What Sam was asking for was a memory that would only be shared between the two of them. They existed. There was a reason he'd been silently worshipped by his siblings. He'd spent time with all of them, each and every one of them. That meant what Sam was asking for existed. It also hurt to dig for it because he hadn't touched those memories in thousands of years. There had to be... _there._

He had to remember to refer to himself as Debriel, it was something he didn't want to do but he needed Sam to trust the words. Dean rose to his feet, closing his eyes and reciting the memory. "Not long after you were brought to me, I took you flying before you learned to fly. I carried you through space and we flew to Pluto before it ever had a name. While we were there you got curious and touched the wrong thing, split it in half. Dad was pissed. I took the blame and even though He knew it was you He let Heaven believe it was me. Then He made me rebuild it. I didn't care because I was impressed because a little warrior angel had done something most the Seraphs were too weak to do."

Sam stared at him for several long moments before shuddering and pushing himself to his feet, crossing the space and throwing himself into Dean's arms.

And okay. Being hugged was an uncomfortable experience. It wasn't something he was used to and it was so _human_ of his brother. His brother who barely had any humanity until he'd started dream walking with Gabriel.

Unless, maybe he hadn't meant to hug him. It was possible that his younger brother had lost his balance due to the loss of his wings and covered with a hug. Trying to act better off than he was. When Dean had initially locked his wings away in his Grace it had been disorienting, not having that weight there. Even if he'd never once noticed the weight before. Either way, he held his brother against him uncomfortably, giving him this just in case he meant to hug.

Beneath the hug there was a reach of Grace, cooler than most angels. It reached out and spread through him tentatively, healing his Vessel, then it clearly tried to reach through as though to touch his Grace before it recoiled and Sam let go, blinking and shivering violently as he reached over his shoulder.

"You cut them off." No accusation, if anything, maybe gratitude. Dean had to wonder how bad of shape they'd been in. If only he could've seen. Maybe it was better that he didn't.

"We tried to fix them. Cutting them off was a last resort. I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm so damned sorry."

Sam shook his head and rolled his shoulders. "It's okay." There was hollowness to the words. He wasn't okay. Would probably never be okay again. There was only a hint to what Lucifer had put him through. It had been almost two weeks since this entire mess started but they'd been in Hell. Lucifer's domain. Their Father had given him complete control over the separate dimension. Just as Debriel had been able to manipulate Heaven's time to an extent, Lucifer probably had more control over Hell's time than any creature in existence. It could've been a thousand years for Sam.

"I need to talk to Gabriel. I need... " Sam swallowed, giving him a pleading look and reluctantly he turned and went around the couch. Gavreel and Balthazar had left again, no doubt looking for Cas. Or maybe that was an excuse so they didn't have to see the damage that had been done. What was an angel without its wings?

.-~*~-.

Gabriel had appeared close to Bobby's and he was pissed. He'd just guilt tripped _God_ into saving his angel and Dean had the dickish arrogance to send him away? It was more than obvious his presence had been numbing whatever pain he was in.

Fucking Dean.

He was going try to repair Sam's wings. What if it didn't work? Gabriel had spent a lot of time watching the manifestation he'd seen in dreams. Those had functioned as an extension of his physical form. Maybe more real than the Vessel he wore. Having their wings destroyed had to be the equivalent of a human having their legs destroyed, probably more, and it was their fault. All because they'd messed up. All because they'd listened to a demon.

Anger bubbled beneath his skin again just as he hit the edge of the salvage yard. Once he crossed the entrance a familiar piercing sound filled the air and a hand grabbed his arm, yanking him back and dousing them in blissful silence yet again as he fell on his back.

That had been an angel's voice.

"Gabe." Gabriel met his brother's concerned gaze and went rigid as flashes of Heaven crossed his vision. Before he was aware of the actions he was on his feet with his arms around his younger brother, pulling him close in a crushing hug. His brother made a startled noise. "What-"

"If you ever die, I'll kill you." Gabriel warned him as he let go.

"I... okay." Cas was clearly confused and highly concerned.

"Good." Gabriel shifted as he sat down on the ground, a few seconds later his brother sat across from him.

"I think Meg's an angel." Cas said uncomfortably.

"I gotta say, she wasn't that cute, Cas." Though he played it as sarcasm he picked up exactly what Cas was saying. Now that he had time to think over the events, it made sense. Dean had ordered all the humans in the room to leave then followed it with ordering Meg to stay. Unless there was something else, Meg had to be at the very least not human.

"This is serious, Gabriel."

"Why?" A baffled expression was what Gabriel got for his blunt question. "I'm just pulling one of your cards. So what if she's an angel? Why does it matter? You like her, right?"

"I... " Cas trailed off, narrowing his eyes. "She lied to me."

"You mean she didn't walk up and say, 'hey, I thought you should know. I'm an angel.' From what I've picked up, Heaven doesn't treat runaways very well. If I was an angel, I'd be paranoid too. You like her, right?"

Cas frowned before nodding.

"Then let bygones be bygones. The world's ending, Cassie. I don't think we have time to be angry at angels for how fucked up Heaven is." Flashes of those Heaven memories manifested themselves and he internally recoiled. Fuck Heaven. While it wasn't hard to piece together his Heaven had been twisted and corrupted by the angels. It didn't matter if his contract with Hell had been torn up by some unknown force. Dying and going to Heaven again? It sounded worse than Hell. At least Hell was _supposed_ to be traumatizing and break you. Heaven wasn't supposed to hurt.

He wouldn't tell his brother he'd died. Wouldn't tell him how Hellish Heaven had been.

"I'm tired of angels lying to me." Cas admitted after a moment and Gabriel was reminded just how fucked his history with Dean was. Sighing, he shook his leaned back, looking up at the sky and considering how to response.

"Cas, you're just going to have to roll the dice. I don't know what else to tell you. Tell her to tell you everything. Find out why she's not in Heaven fucking the world up with her brothers and sisters."

Silence for several long moments.

"Do you think they'll fix him?" It was a tentative question that Gabriel almost snapped at. Almost.

"I don't think Dean will stop until they've fixed him." The words were carefully chosen, Gabriel knew the Dean had left Heaven, abandoned it all. But, since they'd met, Dean had taken interest in his younger brother. Despite how he'd acted, Gabriel had seen the grief when Balthazar had told them exactly what happened. The fact the he'd been willing to risk Lucifer killing him to save the younger angel proved it. Dean cared. The ex-archangel cared a whole hell of a lot for his younger brother. "I'm sorry we drug you back." Gabriel told him after a moment and his brother shrugged it off, not answering.

They sat like that for half an hour. For half an hour. They sat there until Gabriel declared he was done sitting around and began the trek towards town. Cas had joined him reluctantly. Four hours later and they were sitting in a diner, Gabriel stabbing at special made chocolate pancakes with chocolate chips doused in whipped cream. Pancakes he hadn't touched yet. There were thousands of fork sized holes in the pancakes from where he'd stabbed them over and over again.

"Gabriel." Gabriel practically jumped to his feet as a familiar voice floated through the air behind him. Balthazar was covered in that familiar golden blood, they didn't say a word. Gabriel stepped forward and Balthazar rested a hand on his shoulder.

They reappeared in the living area. Sam was hunched over with his back against the TV, his entire demeanor radiating _fear_ , _helplessness_ , _agony._ The angel was covered to the brim in golden blood, as was a good chunk of the room. It took all of Gabriel's willpower not to try to murder Dean. What had he done?

Sam stared at him for several moments before looking back at Dean, shifting ever so slightly in a way that Gabriel recognized as he was prepared to run. "You can't... how... Lucifer had me." Sam returned his focus to Dean, words wavering, doused in hope. "Tell me something only Debriel would know. I need... I need proof. Please."

A short story about Pluto and a clearly uncomfortably hug for Dean later and Sam stepped back, reaching behind him, wincing.

"You cut them off." And there it was. What Dean had done. What was so seriously wrong. Something in Gabriel had _told_ him that was what happened. Now he knew and he wanted to strangle Dean. It wasn't really Dean's fault, they were all at fault for this. They should've considered it. Fuck. This wasn't on Dean.

"We tried to fix them. Cutting them off was a last resort. I'm sorry, Sammy. I'm so damned sorry."

Sam shook his head and rolled his shoulders in a familiar way. Gabriel wanted to murder someone. He was going to destroy Lucifer for this. "It's okay." Sam's words were hollow. Who knew what Lucifer had done? Losing his wings... Gabriel would never be able to comprehend that. Never.

"I need to talk to Gabriel. I need... " Sam swallowed and Gabriel was suddenly very aware that he had no fucking clue how he was going to help Sam with the current issue. Dean reluctantly left and Sam watched his older brother go. Then his entire demeanor changed. Sam dropped to his knees, a shudder ripping across him. Gabriel didn't think before he moved, kneeling down in front of the angel as the first sob escaped him.

It was that single action that told Gabriel everything. Sam had been holding himself together for the sake of his older brother. Now though, now he was breaking apart. Gabriel had no idea what to do, what he should do. This wasn't the same Sam he'd known just under two weeks ago. That Sam still only had a vague comprehension of humanity. That Sam wouldn't have broken down like this. Not consciously. How long had it been for him?

"Sammy. Sam, look at me." Gabriel took the angel's hands in his, squeezing them until the angel's broken gaze met his.

"A thousand years." Sam choked out and Gabriel went rigid before pulling the overgrown man into his arms. Sam didn't hesitate, squeezing him tightly and burying his face in Gabriel's shoulder. "I tried to escape. I tried to run. Every single time I did, I was pulled back under. I was held there. First she twisted and corrupted my Vessel's Soul. Made me watch. Made me watch as I failed him. Then she destroyed him. Smote the man that I promised to keep safe in exchange for consent. Then she began physically torturing me. I... " Sam shuddered violently under him. "I held on. Gabriel, I messed up. I made such a terrible, terrible mistake. I should not have killed Lilith. I should have left her alive."

"Sam, stop." There was no time to dwell on the change of pronouns he was unable to help but notice, Sam calling Lucifer a "she" was the last thing that mattered, even when it was a curious change. Was it because they hadn't had another option in the beginning? Crap. His mind was veering off track.

"It was _me._ The final Seal. A sacrifice. The one thing that Lucifer loved had to be destroyed to free her. She had to be destroyed by the angel that broke the same rule she did. I broke that rule. I brought you back. I brought my Soul back to life and... Gabriel, I should not have been freed. If Lucifer isn't distracted by me... she is going to take it out on the world."

" _Samuel_." Sam jerked slightly when Gabriel used his angel name. It also stopped his words. Gabriel pulled them apart, digging his fingers into the angel's shoulders. "It _doesn't_ matter. We all fucked up. This isn't on you. It's on all of us."

Sam trembled slightly as he looked away. "It was Nex. She manipulated us."

"We know."

"How-"

Gabriel didn't think before giving him a vague answer. Demon in the basement was for a different time. Different problem. "Demon told us. It doesn't matter right now. Sam, look at me." The angel lifted his gaze, meeting Gabriel's with reluctance. "It's over and you're not going back." Gabriel carefully rose to his feet, not daring to let go of Sam's hands as he pulled the angel up and to the couch, helping him maneuver as it was clear he was struggling with balance now. Once they were settled onto the couch, lying down side by side in the too small space that no longer had a back. Sam curled into his side awkwardly and this was so far out of his comfort zone it wasn't even funny. Still, he allowed it because Sam had been tortured by Satan himself, he could at least give the man comfort of contact.

"Gabriel, how long has it been for you?" Sam asked from next to him, the words quiet, reluctant.

"Less than two weeks." He admitted because Sam deserved to know the truth. Wincing, Sam twisted slightly. "We tried to get you back. Nothing worked then... we found out that you were in Hell and Dean had an idea. I was hellbound and-"

"You died." Sam stated brokenly, as though he knew and- it was possible he did. "You died in hopes of saving me. Instead you went to Heaven." Sam stated bluntly and Gabriel turned slightly, staring at Sam's miserable expression. "Lucifer was furious. When she tried to confront the demon that you made the deal with she was already dead. Then he took that anger out on me." The angel shut his eyes. "After that, I stopped trying. I stopped fighting. You were in Heaven, what harm could come to you?"

"Because there's nothing shitty happening up there." Gabriel muttered bitterly and Sam's eyes snapped open.

"What did they do to you?"

"It doesn't matter." Gabriel shifted slightly, trying hard not to think of how much they'd fucked his Heaven up.

"It does. What did they do?" Sam demanded and Gabriel shook his head.

"It doesn't matter, Sam. I can't do this. You might be able to talk about it but... I can't."

Sam nodded reluctantly and they lay like that for several long moments before the angel's breathing evened out and... Gabriel blinked and looked over. Sure enough, Sam was unconscious. Did angels sleep?

This position was far from comfortable but if Sam was sleeping... did angels have nightmares? Gabriel considered his options before carefully pulling the angel closer to his side in hopes that he wouldn't fall off the couch. He'd risk falling off the couch if it meant that Sam could have a few hours of sleep. Again though. Did angels sleep? If not, why the hell was Sam sleeping? Of course, there were a thousand questions that needed answering. Instead of letting them weigh on him, he shut his eyes, and hummed quietly until sleep pulled him under.

For the first time in weeks when Gabriel opened his eyes, it was a familiar candy shop. Which meant... he turned around to see Sam next to the doorframe, the angel had twisted the right one of the dream appendages around carefully so that it was spread out in front of him. Sam was looking at them closely, quietly running his fingers through the feathers cautiously, like they might disappear. Not here. Gabriel wouldn't let that happen here.

"Sam?"

"I'm sorry, Gabriel."

Gabriel stared at him for several long moments, trying to understand what the hell Sam could possibly be apologizing for.

"When I was being tortured... I reached out to your dreams once in hopes of escape. I brought my pain to you. I shouldn't have."

Flashes of a torturous dream before he'd learned he had a currently demonic sister flitted across his vision, quickly shoved away.

"Did it work?"

Sam paused then shook his head, letting go of the limb and flaring the wings out behind him, stretching them, a mournful expression on his face. "I took advantage of-"

"Sam, stop." He ordered and the angel's eyes opened, confused. "Just... stop. What happened before, it's over. It's done. We all fucked up and that's it."

"Okay." Sam looked behind him again as he pulled the limbs into his back, they were shaking slightly and what wasn't being projected in his human form was being given away by the limbs. The angel was about to break down and obviously didn't want to do it again.

"Why are you sleeping?" Gabriel asked instead of the million other questions lingering in the air.

Sam didn't answer at first, walking through the store quietly as he wrapped the wings around himself, stopping in front of the container of gummy worms and setting his hand on it. "Lucifer." Sam answered, shifting the wings backwards and bowing them forward. "And Dean. I don't blame Dean for it. He tried to fix things. It's just... they cut away my Grace. Fractions of it, it'll be a long while before I fully recover. If I do at all. I'm barely an angel anymore." Wings slumped backwards, shuddering slightly. "Angels are not supposed to kill other angels' Souls. It's the biggest sin for us. I'm paying the price for what I did." Sam reached into the container, pulling a handful of candy out. "Don't try to defend my actions either, Gabriel. I am the one that drove the blade through her. I didn't think. I just did it."

Gabriel didn't speak, watching as Sam flared the wings out again before wrapping them around himself. This was different. Completely different than what he was used to seeing. The way he was acting was completely contradicting the wing movements, something that almost never happened. What the hell?

"Lilith taunted and teased me and I didn't consider the fact that she was pushing me to do it. That she wanted me to do it. All of this time and they'd been pushing to start it and suddenly she was okay with me killing her? I should've known. Then she was dead and... " His wings flared behind him again, twitching agitatedly. "It all fell into place. Gabriel, I started The Apocalypse."

"We started it. All of us." Gabriel answered carefully as Sam turned, meeting his gaze and relaxing the wings against his back.

"We have to fix this." The words were pleading, almost as though he was afraid...

"We will. Sam, we all will. We'll do it together. We're not going to kick you out. Come here." Gabriel might've approached the angel if he wasn't worried he was about to bolt, to run. Sam had to come to him. Even then, he held out his arms.

Sam hesitated, wings twitching nervously before he did as told, stepping right into Gabriel's arms.

What Sam next made him freeze because he _knew_ it was a bad idea. Gabriel knew it was a _very_ bad idea. He had no right to kiss the angel back because of everything that had happened. Sam had never been with anyone, not in a physical or romantic sense. Probably had never even kissed anyone. Why then was he kissing the angel back? Why was he allowing the taller man to kiss him? There were two possible answers to that. One being, he hadn't been with anyone since Arbor. Which was still a very fucked up situation. Two being, it was something he had desperately wanted since the first time he'd laid eyes on the angel. _Fuck._ He couldn't do this. Not now.

He jerked backwards, the wing wrapped around his back being the only thing stopping him from falling flat on his ass.

"Sam, we can't. Not... "

"I know." Sam said mournfully as he carefully let Gabriel loose. "I'm sorry."

"Don't... don't apologize, okay? It was good." It was fucking amazing and every moment of his history was yelling at him for passing up a chance with Sam. This couldn't happen when Sam was recovering from whatever the fuck Lucifer had done to him. No matter what he wanted, it couldn't happen yet. It would be taking advantage of his angel which was something he tried to avoid. It'd happened to him more than once and he wasn't ready to let himself stoop that low. Especially when he cared. "Another time, okay Sambo?" He asked tentatively and Sam nodded reluctantly, curling his wings into his back as he bit into one of the forgotten candies. "Let's explore some of my good childhood memories." He offered as the scene changed again. He wouldn't try to suggest visiting Sam's memories of Heaven. Not anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope this chapter came out okay. No, Sam's not okay. Sam's very much not okay, despite how he's trying to act. Also, yes, Meg's an angel. Angel of Peace at that. Hehe. That rhymed. Talk to you next chapter, probably.


	7. 6: I Won't Take A 'yes' From You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally pieced together why I screwed my mental layout of Bobby's house out. When I originally started this I'd been watching season seven and the cabin kind of merged itself with his house in some weird twisted abomination.
> 
> Anyways. Time for some insight on Sam's mindset. I really hope I got it across right. It was really difficult to do.

Sam stood on the patio of Singer Salvage. He had only slept two hours at the most.

Yet he had slept. Angels did not sleep. Then again... he had not been an angel for thousands of years. What he had told Gabriel was far from the truth. That was the kind of burden he would never put on any of them. Lucifer had been relentless, ripped him apart and broken through his Grace over and over again. Ripped him apart to his very core. Half a million years of isolation from his brothers and sisters. Half a million years trapped in the darkest point of Hell as Lucifer's personal torture project.

Sam was no longer an angel. The moment Sam had run that blade through Lilith, Sam had become something else entirely with the wings of an angel. While Dean had possessed the best of intentions when he had been forced to remove his wings, it had taken the one final thing that made Sam, Samuel. Dean had destroyed the last thing that made Sam an angel. Sam couldn't be an angel if he had no wings. The information burned in him, deep at his core.

If he shut his eyes, he could feel phantom limbs, a memory. It burned and ached and left him longing to collapse to the ground and scream to their Father. To plead to Him to fix him.

Gabriel held the best of intentions, keeping his distance, stepping around him as though he may break. It was a fair fear. It was also very inaccurate. Sam was shattered beyond repair. The pain reverberated through his damaged Grace, screamed out if he didn't keep the Grace in the core of his Vessel. There was never a time he had needed his Soul more than he needed it now. That was the reason he had to stay away.

If he could, Sam would spread his wings. Sam would flee.

Agony ripped across his Grace as something _reached._ A voice broke through the lethal silence of being without Heaven. A silence that might have tormented him if it hadn't been half a million years.

' _Samuel, I will find you again. I will find you and that Vessel both. I will rip him apart just as I did your Vessel. Only it will be so much slower. I will destroy that Soul of yours. For every day that you are gone, I will take a hundred years longer. Do not make this complicated, Samuel. Either give both you and your Soul up or I begin my descent on my True Vessel. Make your choice and make it soon.'_

Grace like ice. Colder than his own could ever achieve but still cold. So very cold. It once had been agonizing to be in the direct contact. Now though? Now it was a reminder. A reminder of why he would never return.

Sam briefly wondered. Had Balthazar told them of what happened to Lucifer's followers? Probably not. Perhaps it was easier that way. He would share that information, at some point. At a later date.

' _No.'_ One simple word and a lash of Archangelic fury broke through the connection, sending him falling to his knees with a shriek, his careful hold on his Grace gone and he could _feel_.

Oh did it hurt. It hurt as nothing else ever could. An angel blade to his Grace was nothing of the cold burning as his Grace was exposed to the world through the skin of his mostly empty Vessel. A coiling burning sensation that ran down the central part of his severely scarred Grace, slamming through it and boiling at the point where his wings had once resided within his Grace. It boiled hotter and hotter, igniting and flaring up and all he could do was sob helplessly from where he was trapped within his Vessel, curling in on himself and begging for mercy. For Lucifer to _stop_. There was nothing he could do. Not a thing that he could do. No matter the distance, no matter the warding that kept them hidden, Lucifer could still access his Grace, could still harm him.

They said it was their Father that had taken him from Lucifer's grasp? He should have left him there. That had been better. There had been no light at the end of the tunnel. There had been bitter acceptance and desperate pleas for death. Now, though. Now there was hope that he could be fixed. That he could fix things.

"Sammy!" Sam jolted violently, turning and falling backwards down the short stairwell with a sob of relief. It was gone. Lucifer was gone. Something had made her leave. Someone had stopped her. Or it was a single cruel joke and any second it would start again. The pain was still there. Burning. Something he needed to fix. Something he needed to do. Something that could stop it.

_Need._

The proximity of his Soul was what he needed to stop the active pain. It was wrong.

"Sammy, look at me." Sam recoiled from the voice, Grace shrinking back into the safe confinement of his Vessel and... soothing. That was right. How had he forgotten? Keeping is buried away was what he needed. What he should do. "Sam."

Finally he blinked his eyes open, staring at worried green eyes that had haunted him unconsciously since the moment he met the god. Eyes that had no right to exist coated under layers and layers of god magic. Except it was his older brother. Fallen less than he was. It was unfair and for a brief moment he found himself wanting to smite the god. If Dean had done it, it wouldn't have been him. If Dean had killed Lilith, he wouldn't have suffered. If Dean wanted to Fall, he should have destroyed his second eldest brother's Soul.

It was envy, he realized. He was envious of his brother's inability to Fall. Envious that Dean could have destroyed Lilith and never Fallen. One of the many facts he knew now. One of the facts that had been burned into his Grace by Lucifer. An Archangel never Fell. Not truly. Their Father had to break an Archangel's wings.

They had all been so wrong.

" _Sam._ " There was a harsh desperation to the word that pulled him from his mind.

"I am here." Sam whispered timidly, feeling phantom limbs try to bow. Try to submit to his superior. Again his Grace recoiled at the bitter reminder of what he had lost.

"You need to talk to me, man. You need to tell me what's going through your head. I can't help if you won't talk."

"No." One word filled with bitter sorrow. If Dean knew the truth of Lucifer's Fall he would blame himself. He may even resent Sam for the death of Lilith. No one could know. Not that truth. Not the one that ate at him like a sickness. A desolate reminder of the biggest mistake ever made by an angel.

Lucifer had been mostly innocent in his actions.

"Sammy, please. If you keep all of this-"

" _No._ " He bit out, this time angry. With limited care he pulled himself from the arms of the god, struggling to keep his Grace securely locked within his Vessel. This was beyond any of them. What he had been through was something they would never learn. Never be able to understand. Lucifer had ripped him apart too many times to count. Had told him everything he had never wanted to know. Had shown him the brutal truth of their Father.

"Fine." What had once been his brother conceded reluctantly, watching him as though he might break something, or maybe that was fear. A sharp jolt rang through his Grace, telling him that it would never be fine. That when his brother learned the truth he would kill him. That he would turn his back on him. "I put some wards in your Vessel. It'll keep Lucifer out."

Of course Dean had. A brief poke of Grace through his Vessel and he found the warding that had been burnt into his ribs. Warding that only Debriel would have had knowledge of. More confirmation that this was real. It also explained it. Why it had stopped. Why Lucifer had stopped. Part of him felt violated. Dean had done it to him without asking, without considering the implications. What if he hadn't been alone? Altering his Vessel's physical form without permission. It was a violation of trust. Of Faith.

Except he was alone and Jared was thousands of years dead. Had this Vessel still been functional when he had been pulled out, or had their Father rebuilt it for him and shoved him inside?

 _Fuck God_.

Sam recoiled slightly at the thought. It wasn't him. Those words weren't his. They couldn't be. Sam didn't think like that.

Or maybe he did. It had been so long... he wasn't Samuel. Couldn't be Samuel.

"You didn't ask." Sam told his brother bluntly as he pushed up, careful of the gravity. Of the loss of something he had possessed since his creation.

"What?" Dean stared at him for a moment, Sam waited until finally his older brother understood. "I couldn't ask. You weren't responding."

Sam shut his eyes and stretched phantom limbs again, as though they were there. They weren't. They were gone and a wave of sickening realization that there _was_ someone that could fix his wings tumbled through him. Tears burned in his eyes but he didn't let them fall. Didn't let it show. He knew better. Raphael would be no more merciful than Lucifer. Not when Gabriel was his Soul. Not when Gabriel was Michael's Vessel. A flash of resentment at this whole situation coiled through him before he forced it down. No. He would never blame Gabriel for this. This was not their fault.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Dejection clouded the words and Dean gave him a concerned look. "Jared's dead. Destroyed."

Saying it a second time didn't make it better. It made it all worse. A thousand times worse. Sam should have sent the man's Soul to Heaven before meeting with Lilith. Just in case. Instead he hadn't and a completely innocent man had paid the price. The only thing worse than death was nonexistence. Something that Lucifer had ground into him over and over again.

"There's nothing you could've done." Dean tried to put sympathy in the words. It rang false. No one could understand. No one could ever understand. Not then. Not ever. No one except perhaps Lucifer herself. The information hit him like a shockwave. That was not something he should be thinking. That was a very bad thought process.

"I need away from here. I need... somewhere. Please, Dean." The god opened his mouth before quickly shutting it.

"If I try using Pagan Airlines we'll probably get stranded in Antarctica." Sam tried not to let show how much that comparison hurt. Too much cold. Too much time in cold. Dean tried to cover, quickly following his words with something. Anything to break it. How cold was Sam's own Grace? It had to be cold. Lucifer's was frozen. Frozen colder than Hell. The source of the cold in Hell. "Let's get in Baby. We'll drive somewhere. Anywhere."

The next part was a blur. Getting in Dean's car, driving away from there. Away from the numbing energy from his Soul. It was torturous but in a completely different way. It had been thousands of years since he'd seen his Soul before Dean cut his wings off. Sam realized he was detached. The energy was a fact, something that _should_ be there. With him. It didn't mean it had to.

Sam wanted it to. Wanted Gabriel there.

He wished he had his wings. Longed for it. If he had wings, he could take his Soul. He could take Gabriel and run. Anywhere that wasn't there. Anywhere that wasn't the end of the world.

Run and never come back.

"Sam." Dean tried again, with immense amounts of reluctance Sam pulled himself back in the car, looking over at his brother who hadn't looked away from the road since they began the drive two hours previous.

"One question." Sam conceded, hoping that whatever question his brother asked would be simple to answer.

Dean didn't answer at first and they sat in silence for a good half an hour before Dean spoke again, the question careful. "What exactly did Lucifer do to your Grace?" The care didn't make it better. It sent memories flying to the forefront of his mind, nearly ripped his Grace from its careful confinement. A shudder ripped across him as he looked back out the window, staring out across the landscape of South Dakota.

A single question, he'd told his brother a single question. The answer to that question? That was the true challenge. How did Sam begin to explain it? How could he ever hope to explain something like that? _Simple answer._ "Lucifer ripped me apart. More times than I can count. Ripped me apart and pieced me back together. There was no mercy of death. I didn't have a Vessel anymore. It was just me and her. She used her Grace on me, the pure raw beautiful Grace of Heaven's brightest, she used it and she shredded me to pieces. Over and over again." Sam's eyes were burning again but he didn't stop, continued on because this was what Dean had asked. "When she first brought me there, she carved warding into my Grace, into the core of my Grace, cut in sigils that blocked me from The Host. Carved in markings that would keep me from receiving prayers. I burnt through some of them. She would put them back the moment it happened, though. The longer I was with her, the colder my Grace began to burn. I want to say that it was her, that she was tainting me. The truth is, the longer I was there-"

"How long were you with him?" Dean interrupted and Sam nearly told him the truth. Nearly told him that it was half a million years. Nearly told him that he was forced to endure time as their sister had experienced it.

Except he couldn't. Not then, not ever. No one could know. No one could know what had truly happened. It was a risk he couldn't take. "A thousand years." Sam answered grimly, shifting slightly in his seat and putting his head back out the window, feeling the air sweep across his Vessel. His body.

"I'm sorry, Samuel." His brother whispered low enough that Sam almost didn't hear it. Almost. Sam understood the reason Dean had used the name. In hopes of consoling him. It had the opposite effect, making his Grace prickle with unnecessary anger.

"Samuel is dead, Dean. Just as Debriel is dead, Samuel is dead." Sam's eyes shut and he sighed tiredly, allowing himself to feel. Feel the wind. It was nothing like what he wished for. What he wished for was freedom. An escape. The ability to spread wings and fly. Anywhere. Nowhere at all. Not being trapped in the confinement of a mortal vehicle. Phantom wings spread in aggression and he fought down the anger, eyes burning again.

"Alright." One word then a few seconds later music was coming from the radio, Sam lost himself in lyrics that seemed to be telling the story of a journey of someone traveling mixed with reference of reading, perhaps? It was a strange assortment of words but it drew him in, distracting him from his problems. That song turned over and soon Sam had Dean explaining music as well as switching a strange square object for another. It was obviously something that his brother was far more comfortable with because he dove into the conversation easily and Sam had to smile to himself, if he couldn't be content, at least his brother could.

"This, little brother, is one of the many great things you've missed during your isolation in Heaven."

.-~*~-.

Mount Rushmore. It was magnificent in person. Sam had seen it once before, in a Heaven, not long after its construction. That had been Heaven. An eternal memory. Something that never changed.

There was still a major question as to why they were there. Dean had stopped and told him to get out without an explanation as to why. Then they'd begun walking. It'd taken a long while but they'd walked to the bottom of the far left head.

"When I first left Heaven, I locked my Grace down completely. I hid myself away from everything and everyone. I had to lock my wings away as well. I couldn't risk them being exposed." Dean paused, throwing a sidelong glance at his younger brother before putting a hand on his shoulder. "I would go to mountain ranges or other locations and do this. Hopefully... " His brother paused in his words and the ground shifted from beneath them.

Sam whipped around and froze as the wind hit him, that was the first thing that he noticed. The _wind_. It was glorious. The feeling of it whipping across his Vessel, as though it might send him away. Not that it could. Sam felt a bit of an offset in nature here and though it was mostly gone there was the reminiscent power of a different god. Sam didn't let that bother him. It was amazing and glorious and for the first time since he'd been brought back, he felt... joy. True joy. As he looked out over the landscape his breathing caught, it was beautiful, if not marred. Their Father's creation. The Earth. Spread out across his sight. Shutting his eyes he returned to the feeling of the air. _Wind._ Phantom limbs spread again and it was as though he could fly again. Would fly again. A step forward, into the wind. They were there. They couldn't be gone. It wasn't possible for them to be gone. If he...

"Sammy!" Dean's startled voice shouted as _something_ grabbed him around the torso, pulling him backwards and sending the both of them falling backwards. Falling. _No._

Sam jerked against the god's hold as his Grace escaped its confinement, flying to the edge of his Vessel and-

 _Burning. Freezing. Pain._ A startled shout came from beneath him as he rolled off the god, tears burning his eyes again. No. Would not cry. Not here. Not now.

Why had Dean stopped him? So close. He could've flown again. His wings couldn't be gone.

A hand wrapped around his shoulder and pinned him to the ground, words flowing through the air that he couldn't hear. Sam could feel, though. Feel his Grace harming that hand. His Grace fighting off whatever had thought itself rightful to touch him. Could feel how shredded and destroyed his Grace was. It burned. It hurt. Everything hurt. There was something important. Something he was forgetting. Oh, but the agony. The pain. It was getting more and more difficult to think around the pain.

"Luc-"

A hand clamped down over his Vessel's mouth.

"Don't you dare say his name, Sammy. _Focus._ "

 _Dean_. His mind rationalized somewhere and suddenly he remembered. Remembered everything. In a moment he locked his Grace down and understood.

"No." He moaned out weakly, shoving against his brother. This had been a bad idea. Such a very bad idea.

"I'm sorry, Sammy. I thought this would be good for you. Fuck." Sam watched as Dean rose to his feet, staring at the burns crossing the skin of his brother. If Sam's Grace hadn't been so diminished... it would've destroyed Dean.

 _So broken_.

Nearly killed his brother. All because he'd thought he could fly. All because his wings were gone.

Lucifer.

Sam understood now why Dean had stopped them. They might've been warded, prayers weren't. If he'd mistakenly prayed to Lucifer...

 _Can't let him harm Dean._ _My mistake._

"Leave." He muttered weakly, unsure completely of whether he was telling Dean to leave or telling him they needed to leave.

.-~*~-.

Gabriel woke up to find he was chained in the bedroom again. Was Dean serious? Did he honestly believe that Gabriel would say yes now?

"Good morning, Gabe." His brother greeted from the chair at the corner of the room and Gabriel yelped, falling back off the mattress.

"Damn it, Cas!" He shouted angrily as he struggled upright, his brother didn't bother trying to help him. In fact, Gabriel was certain his brother was laughing at him. Once he was up on his feet and certain he didn't have any injuries he glared menacingly across the room at his brother who just smiled back innocently. Fucker. "What are you doing stalking me while I sleep?" He asked with heavy annoyance, settling back into the bed and grabbing the cuff, glaring at it as though hostility alone would make it disappear.

"I am not stalking you. I just enjoy this chair." Gabriel shot him a disbelieving look and Cas surrendered, setting the book to the side. Something seemed... off in his behavior. "You told us you would not say 'yes' until after Sam was back. I trusted that you still had no intents of saying yes but Dean seemed less inclined to believe in you." Gabriel groaned and leaned back. Of course that would come back to bite him in the ass.

"Well do you mind getting your ex to free me? You might've been into some kinky-"

"Him and Sam left earlier." Cas interrupted blandly before he could finish that joke.

Sam had left? Gabriel knew he'd bailed on their dream trips and left him to try to control his own dreams but it'd been without an explanation. Though it shouldn't have really surprised him, it did. Where had him and Dean gone?

"It was without an explanation. I am sorry, Gabriel." There was no reason for his brother to be sorry. If Sam was with Dean, he was safe. At least he had to be.

"So I'm stuck here until they get back?" Gabriel sighed in exasperation, watching his brother as he stood.

"No. Balthazar will free you once we have talked."

"Alright, well talk, baby bro." Gabriel was itching to get out of the god-forsaken bedroom that had been turned into his prison.

For this Cas looked slightly uncomfortable, though... it was off. Before he spoke, he looked towards the door, "I had a dream."

"Okaaaay?" Gabriel drawled, waiting for the punch line.

"I saw a city slaughtered at the hands of him. Of Lucifer." The way Cas said it... it wasn't mournful. It wasn't anything. It was stated like a fact and something about that made it worse. Cas had told him and he'd enjoyed killing those kids in River Pass but the information had bypassed him. Had unconsciously floated away and been buried under his 'Shit I don't want to deal with' list and left to rot.

Now, though. Now he was concerned. Cas had never been the most empathetic person, but he'd cared. Watching his brother now made his stomach twist slightly in a knot. There was no empathy. No care. Maybe Gabriel shouldn't have been the one that was locked up because _fuck_.

' _Balthazar, if there's ever been a time for you to give a shit. Now's it. Either your blind or stupid. Something's seriously wrong with my brother.'_

Gabriel shifted slightly on the bed, "That really sucks. So it was Lucifer?" It was horrible, but he was testing something. Cas would've known. Would've seen it the moment Gabriel had no strong reaction.

"I saw it through his eyes." His younger brother shut his eyes, completely passive. A chill slid down his spine. There was something seriously fucked up here.

"What did he do to them?" Gabriel asked carefully, watching as his younger brother's eyes flicked open, something twisted in his expression and he was suddenly mournful. It wasn't genuine. Gabriel could see that. Gabriel knew his brother better than that, wouldn't fall for something so obviously fake.

Fake-Cas met his eyes and dropped the façade, "You're not as big of an imbecile as I thought you'd be. Then again, I shouldn't be too surprised... "

"I'm not awake." Gabriel realized and backed up slightly, watching...

"No you are not." Not-Cas agreed, waiting impatiently. Then it clicked and Gabriel understood.

"Michael." Not-Cas nodded, smirking at him. "I'm not saying yes."

"I know. Thank our absent Father you're too much of a stubborn dick to say 'yes'. I don't want your ass. I don't want anything from you other than a solid 'no'."

"Then why the hell are you here?" Gabriel demanded and the archangel's expression hardened.

"Because your little stupid angel let _Lucifer_ free!" Michael snapped angrily, an accent that Gabriel was suddenly too concerned about his life to care about slipped through the words. The air around them suddenly crackled to life with energy before a wind tore through the room as the windows shattered under the force and Gabriel was flying across the room. The only thing that kept him from slamming into the wall was his control over dreams. Instead he landed gracefully on his feet, quickly stumbling backwards against the angry winds, Michael was watching him with violent urges. "As much as I love my Father, I'm _not_ going to kill my brother for Him. Especially after what you _morons_ did to him."

"Why are you here, Michael?" Gabriel asked, standing taller and earning a cruel smile from the Archangel.

"I want you and that angel of yours to turn yourself over to the righteous anger of Lucifer. Of course I know you won't do it. You'd rather take my little brother and run." Sympathy flashed across his expression. "If you run. Don't go back."

"Why did you leave Heaven?" Gabriel changed tactics, Michael obviously didn't want his brother dead. Maybe they could push him-

"I found my Soul and I never let go. I've Fallen further than any of my brothers ever dreamed possible, Gabriel Novak. Take my brother and _run._ Get the hell out of there before Lucifer finds you and tears you apart completely in all the fun ways." Michael paused, considering him for a moment as the wind died down. "I suggest you use that undersized brain of yours to consider everything I've told you." The air behind him rippled to life, much as Sam's had when he'd first begun visiting Gabriel's dreams and Michael smiled darkly at him. "I won't take your 'yes' and I won't go back to Heaven. Give Debriel my regards." A flutter of wings and Gabriel was alone in his dreams with a sickening feeling in his gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michael finally made his appearance. Any theories yet? I'm being careful not to give away the punchline of where Michael's at while still trying to keep him in character which is a massive pain.


	8. 7: The True Vessels of The Archangels

"Michael visited you?" Cas asked him disbelievingly. Gabriel had woken up in an unnervingly familiar position, chained up in the stupid spare bedroom with Cas sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. Furthermore, he'd informed him of everything Michael had told him while screwing with him. It included a slight lack of sympathy when talking about the town that had been destroyed, though it was there.

"Do I need to spell it out?" Gabriel asked with annoyance.

"It's not that. Dean said that he'd left Heaven and hasn't talked to anyone since then. Why would he visit you?"

"To tell me he doesn't want to ride my ass." Gabriel responded harsher than he'd attended.

"What?" Cas asked him, confused.

"Michael won't take a 'yes' from me. Which means this," he grabbed the chain and rattled it pointedly, "is a complete and utter waste of time."

"I don't understand."

Gabriel knew what Cas meant by that. It didn't stop the instinctive response of, "How much clearer can I get?" His brother winced and he sighed, pushing that anger away. It wasn't his brother's fault. The issue was the new knowledge was that it pulled an option off the table. A bad option, but an option was gone for him. "Michael won't kill his brother and he doesn't want my consent." _He told me to take Sam and run and it's becoming a more promising option by the second._

"That's it?" Cas asked carefully and it wasn't hard to imagine he was piecing it together. Him and Michael were supposed to mirror each other, which meant he knew they would've talked about why Michael ran away. Cas might've even suspected where Gabriel's head was. Which meant the chance of him getting unchained was getting smaller and smaller.

"He called us morons for killing Lilith and told me that I should take Sam to Lucifer. It's getting repetitive if I'm honest." His brother was still searching him and he grimaced, laying back and staring at the ceiling. "That's it. Cross my heart and hope to die." Maybe Cas wouldn't catch the careful word choice. He'd died once. Twice now. While he was more than willing to stretch the truth, he wouldn't outright lie to his brother. Keep things, sure, all the time. Lie, though? No. Not if he could avoid it.

"Okay." There was clear doubt in Cas' voice but he, thankfully, let it go.

"So is Balthazar letting me out now?" Gabriel asked hopefully.

"He's with Meg at the moment." Cas answered, "And we aren't done talking."

"You're just dragging out conversation until someone gets back to take you to your girlfriend." Gabriel stated accusingly as he sat up.

Sighing in exasperation, Cas ignored the remark. "We need to talk about the demon in the basement."

That was something Gabriel _didn't_ want to talk about. The last thing he wanted to talk about, "Is that like the hunter equivalent of 'the elephant in the room'?"

"We need to do something about her." Why couldn't Cas just take the bait? There were a hundred difficult conversations coming up when Dean and Sam were back. This wasn't one he wanted to have.

"Like what? Kill her? Go and braid her hair and talk about boys, or in our cases, sexless angelic beings? I'm sure she'd just _love_ to chat about that considering the whole reason she's demonized is because of the angels."

Cas glared at him with so much hostility that Gabriel had to look away. "We need to do something about her, Gabe. I get that you liked her, but she was human then. Now she's a demon and-"

"And she's family." Gabriel cut his brother off, knowing how stupid and ridiculous it was to bring that up. It was a solid explanation as to why they couldn't kill her. Both of them had silently agreed that killing his child, that they'd never met, wasn't worth saving six hundred and sixty five children. This wasn't any different than that. If anything, it was a more solid reason. He'd _known_ her. Talked to her. Listened to her story.

"Then what do you suggest we do? There's only so long that Bobby's going to be okay with keeping the demon that killed Ellen's husband in the basement before he tells her."

"Did anyone ever bother asking her why she killed Will?" Gabriel retorted, grabbing for that in hopes of steering the conversation away from the problem.

"Gabriel."

Apparently he wasn't lucky today. "Fine. We'll do something. Get someone to let me out and I'll do something."

Cas searched him for a moment before rising from his seat and walking across the room, pulling a penny from his pocket and pressing against the side of the cuff, to Gabriel's relief, and slight annoyance, the seamless cuff popped off and he narrowed his eyes at his brother, rubbing his ankle. "You could've done that at any time."

"Dean told me not to unless I was completely positive you weren't going to run."

That surprised Gabriel, "You trust I won't run?" He asked as he pushed off the bed.

"I think you have more of a reason to stay than to run, for now." Cas clarified and that made a lot more sense than his brother suddenly trusting he wouldn't skip town. It translated roughly to, 'when Sam gets back I'm not leaving you alone'. Which was fine. It wouldn't be the first time he'd have to figure out how to sneak out in the middle of the night.

"Glad you have faith in me." He grinned at his brother who sighed in exasperation, obviously not amused.

.-~*~-.

Once they arrived in the basement Gabriel felt a sick twisting in his gut as he was reminded of why they were there. Of who was in there. It'd been one fuckup after the next and if he hadn't met this god forsaken woman that was apparently his sister, it all might've been avoided. It was her that manipulated them. Maybe his stupid choice of selling his soul started it but meeting this girl all but ended it.

Yet again there was a brief rush of anger. She'd led them there. She'd caused it.

"Let's do this." Carefully he pulled the latch back on the door, pulling it open. Honestly, he wasn't sure what he'd expected. Some part of him was dreading that she'd found some way to escape. What he _hadn't_ expected, hadn't even considered, was what he found. Bound and chained in the same position they'd left her was an exhausted looking woman, face smeared in long since dried tears, face sunken in and deathly pale. There was a distinctive smell that he tried _really_ hard not to think of what was. Gabriel's stomach sank as tired, weak, pleading eyes met his. "Cas, please tell me that someone has been _checking_ on her." Gabriel was already moving across the room, he pulled the strap off her mouth and she moaned tiredly, eyes fluttering shut.

"'ey." The word came out of her throat, rough and broken.

"I didn't think I needed to. I figured Bobby would have done it." His brother defended as he joined his side, taking the initiative of getting under her arm and lifting her so that all of her weight wasn't on her wrists.

"Fucking hell." Gabriel ground out, kneeling down on the ground and checking the cuffs on her ankles. Just like the ones he'd had, they had no seam or lock which meant…

The girl muttered something incoherent that sounded a lot like 'water' and something occurred to him. "Cas, get her water. And give me that stupid penny."

A bit of fumbling later and Gabriel was holding all, probably not more than, ninety pounds of the girl, laying her down on the cot and checking her very weak pulse while Cas stood to the side, looking more uncomfortable than he'd seen in a long time.

"a'er." The girl muttered weakly, pale blue eyes flickering open again tiredly. Silently Gabriel took the water bottle from his brother and pressed it over the girl's mouth, being careful not to overdo it. How long had she been alive again? It had to have been at least a week since they'd chained her up.

"I'm sorry, Gabe." His brother apologized uncomfortably, kneeling next to him and checking the bruises on both her wrists and ankles carefully.

"M'r." Dalara protested raggedly when Gabriel pulled the water bottle away.

"If you chug it down you're going to end up puking it up." Gabriel chastised, ten years old again and trying to take care of a sick brother.

"'m." The girl shifted away from the prodding fingers of his brother. "'leep." She muttered before her eyes drifted shut.

Gabriel was going to murder Dean, but only because the god was the only one he could lash out at that didn't fall back on him. It was as much his fault as anyone else for not coming down and checking to make sure she wasn't human again.

Did that mean Nex was still alive or was this something else entirely?

"Gabe, are you sure that this isn't a trick."

"Yes." Gabriel answered without a doubt, he knew. He'd known the second he'd seen her that it wasn't a trick. "If you don't believe me, get some holy water." It'd be easier to give him peace of mind rather than have him ride on his words.

Cas started to say something in response but was interrupted by a fluttering of wings. Gabriel whipped around, half hoping that it was Sam. Of course, Sam had no wings. Sam would never fly again. Instead it was Balthazar standing in the doorframe to the panic room, a look of annoyance on his face.

"Cassie, you do understand that despite the fact that I am bound to be destroyed by you, I do have other interests that don't involve you. Namely, several shapely woman on the other side of the world." Even with his words, Balthazar made his way over to them, touching Dalara's forehead. Instantly the girl's wounds healed over, her clothes cleaning itself and Balthazar huffing out an annoyed breath. "Yes, she's… well she isn't currently a demon. I can't completely fix the dehydration so that's all on you."

"I thought you were with Meg." Cas spoke up from next to him, worry evident in his voice.

"I was. Then I wasn't. Your girlfriend is more than capable of protecting herself. Now, do me a favor, and don't call me again unless you're dying." A flutter of wings and the angel was gone.

Gabriel took a closer look at Dalara now that she was healed and clean and grimaced, because despite the work he'd done to her physical wounds it was clear she was still starved and thirsty. Her white hair had started growing in at the roots which looked really weird with the contrast of the black dyed hair.

"I'm going to make some soup." Cas dismissed himself uncomfortably and Gabriel sat down next to the cot, watching the girl sleep with a sickening feeling in his gut. They should've been watching her. What if she'd died down there like that? That would've been on all of them. How the hell were they supposed to stop Lucifer from destroying the planet, assuming that was still his intentions, when they couldn't even protect a single person.

"No." Dalara muttered in her sleep, breaking the hour long silence. Where was Cas? Gabriel blinked, looking at her as she started twisting and turning in her sleep. "N'ver." Who was she talking to?

"Dalara?"

"No. Can'. N'ver 'gain. 'ey tol' me. S'ffered f'r years 'cause o' it." The girl twisted violently, "I'll… okay. I'll think 'bout it." She whispered before crying out and sitting upright, eyes snapping open in the same moment. Gabriel barely dodged as she swung for him, though fairly he probably deserved it. "Fuck." She gasped out, falling back and rolling onto her side, pulling her legs to her chest and staring blankly. "Wa'er." She whispered out, not looking at him. Hesitantly, Gabriel did as told, thinking over what she'd said in her sleep. It sounded… who had she been talking to? Something told Gabriel it was nothing good, but he couldn't push for answers on that quite yet. Instead of pushing, he silently helped her drink some of the water, turning her onto her back and propping her head up. After she'd ingested half the bottle she shut her eyes, tears filling them visibly. "We're so fuckin' screwed, Gabe." She whispered hoarsely, her words completely clear for the first time since she'd started talking.

"I'm sorry." He blurted and she flicked her eyes open, smiling grimly.

"Really think I'd hold somethin' like that against ya? Y'all thought I was demonized. Which I was."

"How long?"

The girl shifted, pushing herself into a sitting position before leaning against the wall and pulling her knees to her chest. "Three days if I counted it righ'… m'ybe more." She shifted and closed her eyes. "Maybe five. I was hallucinatin' from the unhealed bloodloss and it all kinda just blurred. No offense to that Archangel o' y'all's but he really did a shitty job at healin' me."

"Fuck Dean." He responded instinctively and she smiled grimly. The words made him feel shittier though. They'd fucked up. Bad. She was alive but how bad off had she been and no one known?

"No' my type." She joked weakly and Gabriel grabbed onto that, wanting to veer the conversation and more than happy to do it at Dean's expense.

"He might be more than you think. You know he was Artemis?"

The woman raised an eyebrow. "I know. Prefer pretty women as women though." Dalara smiled cheekily before coughing and wincing. "Fuck." She moaned in pain, putting her head between her knees and whimpering. "I'm goin' t' kill 'im."

"Get in line." Gabriel responded and she laughed weakly.

"It's not really that it hurts. I've got the pain tolerance of a freakin' god. It's just… fuck. I guess it does which says all sorts o' things 'bout me righ' now." The girl shifted uncomfortably, "Fuckin' Hell."

"Gabe?" Gabriel turned slightly, looking at the door as Cas stepped in, holding a steaming bowl of soup. "I had to run to town to get some." Cas explained.

"Hey, it's pretty boy." The girl hummed out as he stepped across the room, sitting next to Gabriel and offering the bowl to Dalara who crossed her legs and shakily took it, balancing it between her knees, a cautious look on her face as she observed his younger brother. "I'm sorry." She told him as she struggled to pull a spoonful of what Gabriel now knew was tomato soup to her lips, her arm shaking and knocking the liquid from it.

"Was it true?" Cas asked her and Gabriel was briefly reminded of why he had taken off in the first place.

Dalara licked her lips, staring at the bowl before answering. "I almost never lie. Not as a human and not as a demon. 'specially when I know it'll hurt. Your Soul's twisted and tainted almost as much as mine, but i's not your fault. What happened to ya was done to ya, what happened to me was done to me by me. You're good."

"And you aren't?" Cas asked, shooting Gabriel a look that said they needed to talk.

"I'm a fuckin' murderous psychopath hidin' underneath the shell o' an innocent girl. 'course I'm only murderous to things that murder, might no' make me good but it makes me a bit better. Now go talk, boys. I've got food to eat." She closed her eyes before scooping up another spoonful. Cas was already moving towards the exit and after a moment of consideration Gabriel followed him.

Dean was leaning against the wall in the basement when they stepped out, Cas shut the door behind them and Gabriel looked around for Sam, not seeing him.

"Where's Sam?" Only a second later did he register the clanking of metal as Cas fascinated the door shut.

"Asleep. He'll be fine." Dean said doubtfully. Yeah. That was comforting. Gabriel narrowed his eyes, eying Dean suspiciously. "Later. Why didn't you mention she had white hair?"

Gabriel blinked, confused. What? Until… "Dalara? Why does it matter?"

Dean glared at him. "You don't think, do you?"

"I generally think more than you do, Mr. Let's Kill Lilith." The air crackled to life with energy but Gabriel made no move to stand down.

"My Vessel's eyes were the most human equivalent to my wings, your eyes reflect Michael's wings. It worked. Up until Cas. Lucifer's the basis for humanity seeing us with white wings."

Then it clicked and Gabriel was reminded of what he'd heard her saying in her sleep. That 'no' had rang wrong with him. Was it possible?

"That doesn't make sense. Cas has been sensing Lucifer since-"

"-before Lucifer was freed from the cage." Dean finished. "Lucifer was completely locked away from everything except The Host at that time." The god shot an annoyed look at Cas before looking back at Gabriel. "There's no doubt that he's a True Vessel for an Archangel. I've known since the second that you dumbasses summoned me. There's warning stamps planted on your Souls."

"So Cas isn't Lucifer's True Vessel. Whose Vessel is he?"

"Samael's." Dean answered simply, his eyes resting on Cas who shuddered slightly. Samael. He'd heard her mentioned and Sam had briefly explained her existence to him but it was as though she slipped from his mind entirely. Like they'd forgotten her. "Samael's an unpredictable mass of untouched power that was locked away by Raphael the first portion of his life. He's dangerous. And we all _keep_ forgetting him. Just like the world forgot that he wiped out half of Israel, we all keep forgetting him."

"So Samael's the one that destroyed whatever city Cas dreamt about."

"What?" Cas shot him an irritated look which he returned at Dean's confusion. Apparently Cas hadn't told him about that.

"I'm going to leave the two of you-"

"Not yet." Dean stopped him after shooting Cas a look that clearly said they'd be talking. "I need you to talk to your sister and find out if Lucifer has been visiting her."

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably at the mention of their blood relation. "Fine." Gabriel conceded, turning towards the door.

"Lucifer is good at temptation, Gabriel. I don't know her history but if they share enough, it won't be hard to get a 'yes' out of her."

"You don't think she's strong enough to keep saying 'no'." Gabriel summarized, not willing to admit that he thought Dean was right. That she wouldn't be strong enough. He'd heard her talk in her sleep, if that had been her talking to Lucifer, she was already considering it. It also wasn't hard to guess what he would promise her.

"I think you were ready to say 'yes'. I don't know her, Gabriel. All I know is less than a week ago she was a demon. So no. I don't."

Gabriel ignored the annoyance in Dean's voice, pulling back the latch and slipping into the panic room, the door closing behind him. Dalara was still sitting there with her legs crossed, the soup sitting precariously on her knee. Her gaze settled on him, her lips pressed into a tight line.

"We goin' t' address the elephant in the room, little bro?" She asked teasingly and he narrowed his eyes at the physically younger girl.

"Did you know?"

"If I had I'd 've told ya. Nope. Didn't know. Not until demon me brought it t' light." She shifted slightly, before scooping another spoonful of soup. "I want outta here, Gabe." She said quietly as she swallowed the soup, placing the spoon in the bowl and setting it to the side.

"Were you being honest when you said you wouldn't lie?" Of course Gabriel had seen the demon version of her try to lie and tell them that she'd been screwing with them since the beginning, but since she'd met him she'd been brutally honest about everything, even when he'd doubted the truth of her words.

"Cross m' heart an' hope t' die." She swore, her expression hardening slightly into wariness. Gabriel caught the wording too. The same exact evasive phrasing he'd used with Cas before.

"Who were you talking to in your sleep earlier?"

Something akin to guilt flashed across her expression before a mask of confusion replaced it. "What do ya mean?"

"Dalara." The way he said her name was stern, the way their father had spoken to him a hundred times in their childhood when John knew he'd been lying.

The girl winced slightly, her confusion wavering. "Lucifer." She admitted meekly, turning her attention and staring at the bowl of soup with tears in her eyes. "Luci came t' me and she asked me for a 'yes'. She tried first wit' the demon but she couldn' consent. It had t' be me and I told 'er 'no'." Dalara was calling Lucifer a she too. So Lucifer was a chick now. Or at least Sam and Dalara thought he…she was.

"You told… her that you'd think about it."

She winced and clenched a fist at her side. "Gabriel, I sacrificed everythin' for Lilly. I sacrificed m' body to share her wit' an angel and she died. Then I sacrificed m' Soul for ten more years wit' her an' ya know what happened? Heaven said t' fuck off. Luci promised me eternity wit' 'er. Rest o' eternity."

Gabriel swallowed, thinking of wanting to run away with Sam again, spend the rest of his life in hiding with his angel. Damn it. "You do understand he wants to destroy the world, right?"

She gave him an icy glare. "Fuck the world." That was enough of an answer.

"You'd sacrifice the planet for a single human?" Gabriel asked her and she smiled sadly.

"I've told ya, Gabe. I like ya. I really do. But I'm not a good person. I was friends with The Hell Queen. I was in Hell for a very long time. I could've stayed down there but I didn'. Instead I came back and did 'er work. I hunted. I hunted a lot. I've never lied t' you, Gabriel Novak."

"You just haven't told me everything." Gabriel summarized, realizing that she'd been leading him on, time and time again, to trust that she was a decent person, not a good guy. She had an explanation for everything, and it was probably all true. Nothing was more deceptive than being honest.

"'m sorry, Gabe. I've liked ya since I met ya. It's why I took such an interest. 'course since you an' y'ur brother are hunters, I had t' cover my ass."

Gabriel watched her closely, "Do you know what he did to my angel?"

"Your angel?" She laughed, a slightly angry laugh as she glared at him. "Fuck the angels. Fuck 'em all. They'll ruin ya, Gabe. Get rid of 'im 'fore it ruins ya." The words were cold and slightly broken, her eyes softened and she looked down again. "I'm sorry, Gabe. Ya've got no idea. None. I suffered in Hell for nothin'. Lucifer's a choice. A choice I'll make. Keep me locked down all ya want. I'll get out sooner or later. I'm sorry, Gabe. I am. This is goin' t' happen. I'm goin' to say 'yes' again to an angel fo' the woman that I love."

Gabriel turned, knocking on the door and waiting until someone opened it. "Dal, I like you. A lot. I just can't let you destroy the planet."

"Bye-bye, Gabe. I'll see ya later." She promised from behind him and Gabriel's hair stood on end because it was a borderline threatening tone.

Stepping through the doorframe he looked at Dean. "She'll say 'yes' to Lucifer…" Gabriel shifted, trying to remind himself why it was a bad thing. Hadn't he been willing to risk the world to say 'yes' just to get it over with?

"I'm going to have to restrain her again." Dean told him bluntly and he nodded, not acknowledging the god or his brother as he made his way upstairs towards the bedroom.

It took a bit of searching, Sam wasn't in the bedroom and he wasn't in any of the rooms inside, the last place he looked was outside. That was where he found Sam, sitting on the hood of Dean's car and staring at the now setting sun in silence. Where had the day gone?

"Sam?" He asked and the angel glanced over at him, a smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes, before looking back at the sky.

"I'm broken, Gabriel." Sam told his bluntly, tapping the spot next to him. Frowning, Gabriel pushed him up onto the hood next to Sam, knowing that Dean would kill him for it if he found out. "I am broken beyond repair. There's no fixing me, there's nothing that can make it right. It's a fact. I was with Lucifer for too long." The angel paused, turning slightly and looking down at Gabriel with almost pleading eyes. "I did something stupid and dangerous today, Dean's the only reason I didn't nearly destroy my Vessel." Gabriel opened his mouth to ask what the fuck had happened but Sam continued before he could, and frankly, what he said threw him completely off. "I want to do something stupid and right today, Gabe. Please."

This time when Sam leaned in and kissed him, Gabriel didn't pull away. Didn't break apart, because _fuck._ Restraining himself in the dream had been one thing, it hadn't been easy, but it hadn't been this. This was _real_ and it was something he'd wanted to do since the moment he'd met the angel. Something he would've done if his soul hadn't been all but drugging the angel. Things had changed drastically since then and Sam wasn't the same exact angel he'd met, naïve to Earth, Sam knew now. Gabriel was done dancing around this because the world was ending.

At some point he'd straddled his angel's waist and, well apparently Sam wasn't completely unaware in what he was doing. He wasn't stupid and for a brief moment Gabriel wondered if Sam had ever fooled around with another angel. They'd said it was forbidden but it was clear that not all of the angels had followed the rules, had Sam?

"Gabriel." Sam leaned back, breaking them apart and Gabriel had to fight to keep his breathing regular. _Damn_. His angel was staring at him with pleading eyes, practically begging him to make the next move. When he leaned forward and kissed Sam again, he knew, he understood.

"Don't chicken out on me, Sambo." He muttered as he kissed his way down the angel's neck. "Do you have any clue what you're doing?"

"I do." Sam told him and in one careful movement hands were on him, holding him up as Sam pushed off the hood, holding Gabriel with no effort. "Dean's going to kill me." He muttered as he pulled Gabriel into another kiss.

"Fuck Dean."

"I'd rather not." Sam responded and where the _fuck_ had that come from? Who was this and what had they done with his naïve little angel? But no. He could _feel_ that this was his angel. It was a feeling soul deep. His angel had been tainted by humanity and, honestly, Gabriel couldn't find himself to give a shit. The backseat of the Impala opened and Sam laid him down, climbing on top of him. It was awkward and so fucking worth every second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession, I suck at make-out scenes. I hope it was alright.


	9. 8: Soaring Through The Skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All y'all should thank my friend Seth for this chapter not being heavy and depressing. He demanded I went the sappy route so I tried my best though it gets a bit tense at the end.
> 
> Um, I don't know if I should warn but I suppose I will because people can be sensitive. Gabriel makes an internal remark about how he introduced Cas to sex which is stated to have happened when Cas was eight.

"You're a sap, Sam." Gabriel stated decidedly as they lay out under the stars on a beach. Dreams were fun. Dreams didn't have restrictions that the real world did. The wing he was currently sprawled out across shifted with ease, knocking him to the side. Gabriel made a protesting sound as he landed in the sand, struggling into an upright position and watching as Sam didn't bother checking on him, his full attention on the sky.

After a moment of consideration Gabriel crossed the space between them, careful of the wings as he crawled right on top of Sam, straddling the angel's stomach much to the clear unease of Sam who tried to move out from under him almost immediately. Gabriel grabbed Sam's arms when he tried to grab him, leaning forward and kissing him as he pinned them against the ground above his angel. It was becoming abundantly clear that Sam didn't like giving up control, which was fine, except it was also cutting away half the fun they could've been having. For just a moment Gabriel had control then Sam seemed to snap out of it and rolled them over with ease, pinning Gabriel beneath him and pulling apart to kiss down his neck. Gabriel groaned in frustration and squirmed under the weight of his angel to no avail.

"Damn it, Sammy. Up." Gabriel pushed at the angel's chest earning an annoyed sound but cooperation. Once Sam was sitting again Gabriel climbed into his lap and wrapped his arms around the angel's shoulders. "Why are you so damned stubborn?"

Sam smiled guiltily, not meeting his gaze.

"I don't care that you like being in control. It's fine. It's hot as hell. Is there any reason _why_ you're so insistent on it?" Sam didn't look at him, wings curling into his back in a way Gabriel recognized as shy. Grinning, Gabriel leaned his head against the other man's. "C'mon, Sammy. There's got to be a reason behind it. Why are you such a top? Spill." Pausing and watching Sam's wings fidgeting nervously from the corner of his eye he grinned, "There's some way that you know what you're doing. So tell me, Sammy." Gabriel leaned back, hooking his hands behind his angel and watching as Sam ducked his head low. "Where'd you learn to fuck?"

The blunt question earned an uncomfortable look before he was given a hesitant answer. "When I was a fledgling, Balthazar snuck me into the Heaven of a nymphomaniac by the name of Arla. I learned about sex there."

"A nymphomaniac in Heaven?" Gabriel grinned at that prospect and Sam made an annoyed sound.

"Despite popular belief, a human's sex life doesn't damn them. There's more to it than that. If you hadn't sold your Soul, you would have gone to Heaven. You are still The Righteous Man."

"Right." Gabriel shifted slightly, then regretted it as it made him hyperaware of just where he was sitting. "Alright, so Balthazar gave you the angelic version of The Talk." Which was about on level with how he introduced Cas to sex, though he'd locked him in a room with porn on the TV. It'd been one of those TVs that didn't have buttons on the front and required the remote to function and since Cas had been eight at the time he hadn't been strong enough to shove the dresser away from the wall to unplug it. When Gabriel had finally freed him from his prison he'd found his baby brother blushing in the bathroom and it'd been hilarious. Of course their dad had been pissed, but it was what brothers were for. "Watching someone isn't the same as doing it."

Sam shifted slightly and Gabriel was forced to lift himself slightly so he could focus on the conversation. Sam seemed to catch the movement as he changed tactics, pulling Gabriel into a passionate kiss that ended with Gabriel pinned beneath him again. "Nope. Nope, Sam." Gabriel gasped out slightly, turning away and panting slightly, trying hard not to think about the fact that basically all of their clothes had vanished. He wasn't sure which of them was responsible for that but it was getting more and more difficult to focus on the conversation. "We were talking about how you know how to fuck me senseless. C'mon."

Pouting slightly, Sam continued. "As you've heard, some angels promise eternity to each other to avoid finding their Souls. I didn't. I hid."

"Because you didn't want to find me." Gabriel addressed and Sam nodded, pulling him into another kiss as if to say 'it was a stupid idea.' Gabriel indulged him for a moment before breaking apart. "Story, Sam. C'mon."

"That was later. When I was older. Up until my memories were fixed, I didn't have access to these memories. When we were fledglings we were told we couldn't indulge ourselves in the pleasures of the human flesh. We had to remain innocent until we found our Soul."

"But little Sammy didn't listen. Didn't stay innocent for me." Gabriel teased before reaching up and brushing his fingers through his angel's feathers earning a slight shudder from the angel.

"You didn't stay innocent for me." Sam retorted a bit breathlessly, fluttering his wings out behind him. "We didn't understand why it was forbidden. What was so special about the human flesh that we couldn't indulge in it? This was before I knew how to fly so I couldn't simply fly to Earth and try it. I wanted to know. I was curious. So I went to Balthazar." Sam curled his right wing around, brushing it down Gabriel's side and causing him to squirm away from the contact, laughter bubbling out. "Balthazar told me a secret that only he and several other angels knew about. Just like Debriel matched select angels for eternity, Balthazar had created a small pocket in one of the heavens with four empty human Vessels. Two males and two females. Balthazar brought me there with a cupid by the name of Idril. Idril taught me all the joys of the human flesh. That's how I know what to do, Gabriel."

"So you fooled around with another angel?" Gabriel summarized, pulling Sam into another kiss. They'd explained that the angels were brothers, and sisters, in arms. Not blood relatives. With that information it was easy to bypass any weirdness in the subject. Just two angels fooling around in Heaven.

"Simply." Sam agreed.

"You didn't explain why you're so controlling."

Sam shifted his wings, stretching them out before tucking them back close to his back. "I don't like giving control up, Gabriel. I adore you, I think I love you, but giving up control… it scares me. After everything I went through… Give me time, okay?" Sam asked him hopefully and Gabriel conceded. He could handle that.

"Under one condition."

Sam opened his mouth to ask 'what' no doubt but Gabriel cut him off with a passionate kiss that the angel eagerly returned.

A while later Sam and him were standing ankle deep in the icy ocean water, staring out across the dark ocean.

"I'm loving the beachfront, Sammy. Really, I am. I just can't help but wonder why we're here." Gabriel looked over and watched as Sam ran the edges of his wings through the clear water.

"Remember when I told you the first place I ever went on Earth was your gravesite?" When Gabriel nodded, Sam continued though he never actually looked over at him. "I was wrong. This was the first place I ever came on Earth. It's an island in what I believe is called the Pacific Ocean now. This was before humanity moved west. The earlier days. Samandriel would bring us here and he would groom our wings." With that Sam's wings drooped slightly but only slightly, as though he was trying to make himself not remember the damage of reality. "It was a safe place because humanity hadn't touched here. We weren't at risk of being taken by our Souls. It was peaceful." Sam stretched his wings out and looked over at Gabriel who was confused by the excited look in his angel's eyes. "Gabriel, I want to show you something but you have to trust me."

"I trust you." He found himself saying and suddenly was fully clothed again, Sam stepping into his personal space before wrapping his arms around Gabriel and stretching his wings behind him.

In almost an incident there was a massive rush of air and Gabriel's stomach nearly dropped as he clutched onto Sam, clinging to him desperately as they _flew_ because that's what that was. Sam's wings were lifting them with the ease of a dream, carrying them up and into the sky, and it was no longer the dim glow of the moon shining on the earth but the bright glow of Sam's wings lighting the space around them. All Gabriel could do was cling to him as Sam flew. As they soared through the sky, through space, Sam flew and while Gabriel was well aware they didn't need to it was fun, it was exhilarating, after the initial shock wore off Gabriel carefully turned in Sam's hold, looking out across the vast emptiness of space. All the while Sam held onto him, they passed all of the planets, each of them big and beautiful and slightly terrifying in their own way. Humans weren't supposed to be here. They weren't meant to be here. And yet, here he was. Soaring through space with an angel. Sure, it was a dream, but it occurred to Gabriel that Sam had been here. Sam and Dean had talked about it. Were they going to Pluto, the planet that wasn't a planet anymore?

"Yes." Sam answered the unspoken question, tightening his hold on Gabriel as they flew further into the blackness, the only light that mattered was the angel that was clutching him to his chest. It was one of the most exhilarating feelings he'd ever experienced and it occurred to him that if he'd ever considered doing drugs again, they'd never amount to this, there was nothing that could beat the fearful reality of what he was doing, and no matter the fact that this was a dream, it was a dreamscape created by an angel that had seen all of it. It was as close to real as he would ever get and he fully intended to take advantage of that.

.-~*~-.

Sam's eyes snapped open and he sat upright in a singular move as someone pounded on the door. The second he was awake he became abruptly aware again of the fact that his wings were gone, and it wasn't easy but… it was easier now. If he basked in the memories of the dreamscape and everything that had happened, things were looking up. For the first time in thousands of years, he was content again and it terrified him. It was also something to grab onto with dear life because it was amazing.

"Rise and shine, Sammy!" Dean called from outside the door before he threw open the door. Though Sam hadn't realized it, Gabriel was awake too, and the second the door opened Gabriel pulled the blanket up so that it was covering Sam, part of his mind noted that Gabriel hadn't had the modesty to cover himself. The second Dean spotted them his eyes narrowed.

"Damn it, Sam."

"Morning to you too, Dean-o." Gabriel chirped happily and Dean pointedly averted his gaze from Gabriel, meeting Sam's gaze from across the room. That wouldn't happen, though. Dean wouldn't make him feel guilty for this because it was Dean's idea that they spend more time together in the first place and Gabriel was his Soul, a gift from their Father no matter how cursed the gift may be.

"Seriously, Sammy?"

"Yes." Sam answered honestly and his brother shook his head, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Hey, Dean-o. I feel you should know. We fucked around in the back of your car first."

That got a much more negative reaction, in fact, Sam could practically see the ex-Archangel's non-existent wings rising up behind him as his angry glare settled on Gabriel.

"What did you say?"

"Your baby brother fucked me in the back of your car, if you want me to get more precise." Sam slipped himself off the bed, backing to the wall and watching in minor amusement as the scene unfolded. Absently he pulled a pair of jeans off the floor, sliding them on as he moved. It wasn't hard to guess where this would go and he knew Dean well enough to know that anything he might do to Gabriel wouldn't be truly violent. It was also clear that Dean was _furious._ Which was also fair.

A smile broke out on his face as Dean angrily flung a book resting by the door for Gabriel's head, the man dodging the flying object and falling onto the floor with an annoyed shout as Dean yelled. "You violated Baby!" Gabriel began laughing at the situation.

"Technically it was me _and_ your little brother that 'violated' your car."

"Don't drag me into this." He spoke up softly, not wanting to actually interrupt them as another book was flung, Gabriel scrambling onto the bed as Dean approached him. A glance at the doorframe showed that Cas had appeared and was standing there half paralyzed as though he wasn't sure on which of their brother's to defend.

"Oh, Sammy's not getting off easy for this either." His brother shot him a glare and Gabriel's laughter increased.

"Your brother already got off, Deanarino."

Sam recognized the posture, the posture Debriel had once used on them when they were being uncooperative during training. Showing off his greater size. It didn't have the same effect here but it was still obvious.

"Gabriel, if you _ever_ touch Baby again I will hand you over to Loki." Dean whipped sideways, glaring at Sam with no real menace. "And if you ever do something like that again so help me…" His brother trailed off and Sam nodded once, smiling in amusement.

"I promise I'll never fuck Gabriel in your car again." Sam told him boldly and his brother paled slightly at the blunt use of the word and Gabriel shot him a grin.

"You're tainting my baby brother. By Dad, Gabriel you're ruining my brother." Dean was searching him carefully before obviously finding whatever he was looking for. "If you ever touch Baby again, I'll murder the both of you."

"Of course you will, Dean." Gabriel laughed when Dean turned, glaring at him, before he turned back and made his way out of the room past Cas. Cas gave him a look and, reluctantly, Sam took his leave, trailing after Dean and listening to muffled yelling behind him, choosing not to tune in on it. Cas wasn't actually angry at his brother, he could feel that, if anything it was probably more amusement based.

Sam followed Dean in silence back outside, watching in enjoyment as Dean approached his car and muttered apologies about letting Gabriel violate her. Of course, with the separation from Gabriel he was becoming aware of everything again and, no, it had nothing to do with the energy of his Soul. It was just… easier around him.

"Sammy, why did it have to be Baby?" His brother asked and he was drawn from his thoughts.

"It was close." He answered simply and his brother grimaced. "It was your idea that I should spend more time with Gabriel."

"Not to fuck him in my car." Dean said, leaning against the door and crossing his arms. "Knowing Gabriel, what the hell lead _to_ sex? He's not usually into virgins."

Sam smiled at that. The way he asked was curious though at the same time it looked like he didn't want to ask. Of course he'd already gone over this with Gabriel but it'd been different then. This was his older brother.

"Do you honestly think that all of your little fledglings were never curious about human sexuality? We may not have all flocked to eternity, we did… I believe the humans call it experiment."

Dean stared at him in bafflement and Sam simply smiled in return. Oh of course it'd been right to go to Balthazar about this. Dad only knew what Dean might've done if he'd heard. Or if them doing anything of the sorts had gone back to the other Archangels and Debriel had been pinpointed as knowing.

"How did I not know?"

"We were careful. We knew the punishment for not saving ourselves for our Souls but we were curious. Balthazar had a place in Heaven where we could go 'experiment' on each other." Sam explained as his brother shook his head.

"Freaking Balthazar. Raphael would've been so pissed at you. Or at me." Dean was chuckling though, shaking his head. "You sly little birds. I'm impressed. So which angel popped little Sammy's cherry?"

Sam blinked at him, not understanding the analogy but knowing it had something to do with the angels that he'd 'experimented' with. "Idril." Sam answered after a moment and Dean laughed, shaking his head.

"I remember Idril, one of the cupids. His wings were… silver and pink, right?" Sam nodded, smiling fondly at the memory of one of his lost siblings. "So how'd it work? Sparing the details."

"After we were told we couldn't 'experience the pleasures of human flesh' Balthazar brought some of us to Arla to experience her Heaven. Then some of us would get curious and return to him. He'd show us to another Heaven and there were empty Vessels there that we'd possess."

"I have to wonder where Dad went wrong with Balthazar."

"Maybe He went right with Balthazar." Sam countered and his brother considered that for a moment before shrugging.

"Maybe He did." Dean agreed after a moment. "I'm going to let go that you violated Baby this one time." Dean changed the topic and Sam was grateful, grabbing onto that. "If you do it again, though." There was no real warning in his voice. Sam wouldn't do it again, they'd decided a bed was much more conventional than the backseat of a car. Of course Sam didn't doubt that Gabriel had known that and had just agreed to the backseat out of spite towards Dean.

"How is it that you have been with them for years but you hate Gabriel?" Sam asked curiously and Dean blinked.

"I don't hate him." He defended after a second, "I just don't like him. You know him now, Sam but who he was when I met him, he was a selfish, bratty, dick who did a lot of stupid shit. The only reason he's not dead in a bathtub somewhere is because I knew his death would destroy Cas. Gabriel is screwed up, Sammy. Really screwed up." Dean paused, looking seriously uncomfortable now. "I think you're good for him. I just don't think he's good for you."

"That isn't your choice." Sam said, carefully thinking over Dean's words. Sam knew that Gabriel possessed a negative history, that he was a sinful human being by default though ironically The Righteous Man. Not that it changed anything. Just how bad had things been for Gabriel before they'd met?

"You're right. It isn't. The world's ending. Might as well make the most of it."

Sam paused, looking at his brother. "Are you going to make the most of it?"

"The most of it for me is sitting in Heaven. Besides. I'm under a celibacy oath."

Sam looked away, considering his next question carefully. "Dean, what do you remember about Lucifer? Before Lilith, I mean."

Pause, a glance at him showed Dean's slightly distant expression before he spoke again. "There was a time when Heaven was perfect, peaceful. The four Archangels were very close and I… Debriel wasn't the only Archangel that interacted with the lower ranked angels. They were a family back then. An actual family. Humanity might've changed Heaven but Lucifer's unhealthy dedication to Lilith destroyed it."

Sam listened to Dean's explanation of Heaven and something tore at his buried Grace when Dean made a point of not including himself among them. Dean was Debriel, their older brother. Just like, no matter how much Sam would deny it, he was still Samuel. Nothing could change that. But the way that Dean was blatantly excluding himself from The Host hurt. It was wrong. Dean was the most loved of the Archangels. Even without his Grace, it wasn't hard to imagine that if he asked most of Heaven would join his side.

"It doesn't matter anymore, Sammy. Lucifer's Fall broke Heaven."

"Do you remember Lucifer's Fall?" Sam asked without thinking, because that question was dangerous. Something he didn't want to risk bringing up. He never would have asked it on his own accord. It was a question that could risk the question of what Lucifer had shown him. To risk having to tell Dean that Lucifer didn't deliberately corrupt Lilith.

"I don't want to talk about the past, Sam. It's in the past for a reason." Phantom wings bowed slightly in submission and Sam internally winced at the sudden sharp reminder of what'd happened to him. "That reminds me." Dean pushed off the car. "We have another issue which I'm sure Gabriel didn't bother telling you about. Cas isn't Lucifer's Vessel."

"What?" Sam asked, confused. There wasn't anyone else- "Dalara." It clicked instantly, a terribly easy thing to understand with his knowledge of Lucifer's Fall. If she'd been honest when she said another angel had killed Lilly, _Lilly_ , of all names that ultimately lead to her downfall and years in Hell for doing anything she could to get her back, it pieced together perfectly.

"Right." Dean agreed, giving him a curious look. "Cas is Samael's."

Samael. Why did they keep forgetting her? It made no sense. "Why do we keep forgetting her?"

"I think it's his powers. Raphael used him to wipe out half of Israel and the world forgot about it. Remember all of those angels that died that no one realized had died?"

Sam blinked, the reminder bringing the grief back to the front of his mind and sending him coiling back slightly as though he'd been hit. How did they forget? How could they forget that? All of those deaths…

"I think he affects everyone differently depending on how powerful they are. Which is a problem because there are only a few beings more powerful than him."

"The Archangels." Sam stated, piecing it together and grabbing onto the information, keeping Samael at the front of his mind. Not being able to remember something that powerful was a major problem, if not slightly terrifying. "Has anyone seen Samael?" Sam asked after a moment and Dean paused.

"Damn it. Yes. Cas had a dream about him." His brother shifted uncomfortably, mouthing a few words that Sam didn't read fast enough. "I need to find my Grace." Dean said suddenly, pushing past Sam and making his way inside. After a moment Sam trailed after him. Why did Dean need to find his Grace? Was he going to take it back? A hundred questions flooded his mind and just as quickly as he was reminded, Samael was forgotten again.


	10. 9: Run Away With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I ever said that I suck at fluff? Yeah.
> 
> With that in mind, short warning (spoiler alert): In this chapter Gabriel's finally talks to Cas about his darker sexual history and while it's mostly implications Gabriel does say a few things that I really debated on including. References to rape and prostitution. I don't really think it needs it but, warning for Hell flashback?

"Blah, blah, blah. Cas, I knew what I was doing. He knew what he was doing. I've told you. Do I need to spell it out? Drop. It." Gabriel glared at his younger brother while he poked at the chocolate pancakes he was cooking. Cas wasn't fazed by the glare. This was not a conversation he wanted to have. This was the last conversation he wanted to have and he needed to change the subject. He'd tried to change it multiple times. Cas wasn't letting up and it was putting him in a position he didn't want to be in. Cas didn't need to know this. He didn't want his brother to know why he was beginning to regret having sex with Sam. How the hell he'd picked it up Gabriel wasn't sure, but he had and that was the issue now.

"No, Gabriel. You're regretting it and you won't let me in. If you won't let me in I cannot help you and if you don't talk to someone about it then you're going to sit there and dwell on whatever the hell's going through your brain."

Gabriel grimaced and looked back at his food. This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have, but maybe he needed to. No one knew just how bad things had been for him. Just how far he'd gone to keep his brother from sleeping on the streets. _Damn it._ "I'm worried, Cas. I'm worried that I fucked up. Do you know why I backed off in the first place? I'm his soul and he was getting drugged off of it. I'm worried that I fucked up. I'm worried that I accidentally used him just like those sick fucks used me when I was younger."

"Gabe-"

"I knew what I was doing, and I'm pretty sure that he was clearheaded. But… what if he wasn't? What if he was drugged off my soul just like he's been almost every time we've encountered each other? What if I-"

"Gabe, stop." Gabriel didn't look away from the pancakes, the voice much closer than it had been moments ago, as a hand rested on his shoulder and he flinched away from the touch. It was all he could do to bury those memories. Hell, it was Hell. Fucked up things were supposed to happen there. On Earth? No. Things like that weren't supposed to happen. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't deserve that burden, Cas. I'd have suffered a thousand times in Hell before putting you through the burden of knowing what happened when I took off and came back with money. It wasn't worth it."

"Gabe-"

"It doesn't matter what those sick fucks did to me. Not anymore. It's gone. It's over with." _I don't want to talk about it, stop making me talk about it, Cas. Let it go._

"How old were you?" Gabriel shut his eyes at the question.

"Sixteen." _The first time._

"After dad?" Cas asked carefully and he nodded, not turning. He could feel tears trickling down his cheeks. It didn't matter. It was over. It was done.

"We needed money and I was desperate. I went to a shady bar that took my fake ID without an argument and a woman saw me. She bought me a drink and told me she could help me with my money problem. I didn't see when she spiked my drink. I woke up in the middle of it." Gabriel summarized, stomach churning as the memories were brought to front and center. "They paid me. Kept her promise." _It could've been worse. Others times were worse._ "I'm done talking about it, Cas. It's over. It's done."

Gabriel finally turned to look away from the food he wasn't really cooking anymore and see the disappointment or disgust in his brother's face, instead he was enveloped in a hug.

"Damn it, Gabe." Gabriel blinked, letting his brother crush him in a hug. That wasn't the reaction he'd expected. At all. It was the last reaction and for some stupid reason it had him clinging back. _Fuck._ "Don't you _ever_ blame yourself for that." And no. He wasn't crying. He absolutely wasn't crying. No one could prove anything. "You were manipulated and that wasn't your fault. That was never your fault. Don't you dare ever out that blame on you."

The two of them stood there for several long moments and Gabriel was _not_ crying. No. Carefully he buried those memories again, locking them away along with Hell. Maybe Cas was right. Maybe he wasn't. It didn't matter anymore and hadn't mattered in years. At least that's what he told himself. Yet there was a small sense of relief that flooded him at his brother's words.

"The two of you done with your chick flick moment?" Gabriel all but jumped out of his skin, shooting an annoyed glare at the doorframe where Dean was standing, Sam right behind him with a wary expression.

"How long have you been standing there?" Gabriel asked suddenly and Dean grinned at him.

"Nowhere near long enough." Gabriel wiped at his face subconsciously as Dean stepped in, Sam trailing after him and watching him closely. "I have a hunt for you to do." Sam shot Dean a confused look that the ex-archangel ignored. "It's in Alliance, Nebraska." Dean shifted uncomfortably.

Gabriel was the first to speak up, eyes narrowed. "Since when do you push us to hunt anything? And where the hell are you and Sam-"

"I'm taking Sam to find my Grace. I'm not telling you to hunt, Gabriel. If you don't want to hunt it, awesome, don't hunt. Sit around here and lose your mind." Dean glared at him and Gabriel knew the real reason why he was taking Sam with him. Unlike Cas, Dean didn't trust that Gabriel wouldn't take off with Sam and disappear. Honestly, he was right not to trust him alone with Sam. It was one of those things he'd planned to talk about with the angel about later in the day, Dean was grabbing that from under him before he could do it and it pissed him off.

"Why can't you take Cas with you? Why does it have to be Sam?"

"I want to go with him." Sam piped up before Dean could snap back and Gabriel met his gaze from across the room. "I will be fine. The two of you go hunt and… if you're in life threatening danger, pray to Balthazar." There was an unspoken 'since I can't -or possibly cannot knowing Sam- help you'.

Gabriel considered his angel for several long moments before giving in. To an extent he understood the ulterior motives behind this. Sam had mentioned it briefly. He felt useless and broken without his wings, which wasn't true but trying to explain that to him? It was like arguing with a brick wall. Pretty quickly he'd given up on it because it wasn't worth arguing on a subject like that. Sam was right that he'd never be able to fully understand the feeling of losing wings.

"Okay." He conceded, looking at his since abandoned pancakes that were now burning. "So what's in…wherever?" Gabriel asked as he shut the stove off and _no_ he wasn't pouting.

"Stop being a child." Sam's words rang through him in all the wrong ways, coiling around his mind and drawing forward a memory of iciness and…purity. Rather than shoving away the Hell memory he allowed it to draw him in.

" _You are doing excellent, Gabriel. Marvelous work." Alistair purred in his ear, leaning over his shoulder and observing the man he had been tearing apart, piece by piece, section by section, over and over again. There was no enjoyment in it, just relief. Freedom from being trapped under Alistair's blade. Freedom clouded in shame. Shame that he was torturing them just for some relief. Of course it was meaningless as Alistair felt the need to remind him. If they were given the option, they would tear him apart._

 _Gabriel felt the change as Alistair disappeared and he relaxed, letting up on the man he had been torturing. Long since had this particular man stopped pleading with him for relief, he'd been enduring. Gabriel wanted to know if this man deserved what he was doing to him. More than once in his time on Earth he'd gone out of his way to screw over people that deserved it. They were in Hell now, had this man been like him? Thoughts like this helped him hold onto his humanity. Forcing himself to remember his life before the cold._ _He knew the truth. They were turning him. Tainting and corrupting him until he was nothing more than the damned demons they'd once hunted. Oh he knew he'd fucked up. His choice to sell his soul had been stupid. This was the price and it was what kept him grounded. He'd saved the last of his family and Cas had Dean to hold him together. If he'd lost his brother he wouldn't have had anything left. A broken and shattered mentality, and sure, an escape. A blissful escape from the hell that their father had put him through, but the cost wasn't worth it. The loss of his baby brother wasn't worth it. No matter the level of resentment he felt for him, he couldn't do that to him._

" _Please." Gabriel blinked, meeting the gaze of the current victim. Did he deserve this? Did this man deserve it? What had he done to bring him to Hell?_

" _Why are you in Hell?" He asked as he returned to his careful, delicate carving of the man, not being as violent as he'd been when Alistair was present. Of all the things he had done in his time here, speaking to a victim wasn't something he had chosen. Not yet. It was something he was scared to do. What if his victim was a good person? Someone better than him that made a stupid choice? A good person that saved someone they loved? What if they were there rightfully? A terrible sick human being that deserved their death. Deserved Hell. It would be so easy to give in, to do what Alistair wanted from him. Torture the victim if they deserved it._

" _Please!" The man cried out, struggling against Gabriel's delicate precision. He couldn't stop. Wasn't allowed to stop. If he did, he would be put back on the rack. Well, there was always a chance for it anyway but doing this lightened it._

" _Why are you in Hell?" Gabriel asked again as he continued his work._

_The man muttered incoherently until finally three words passed his lips. Three words that managed to break any sympathy Gabriel felt for him. Gabriel didn't need context. Not in Hell. Not with his hand on that blade. All he needed was a reason and those three words were it. A reason to give in. To do what Alistair wanted from him without it being the damned demon's choice. "Killed my son." Those words acted as the fuel Gabriel needed to do what Alistair wanted._

_It had been around forty years since he'd been drug into the pit. All that mattered was blocking out his doubts and holding onto his memories. Playing his part. Doing what Alistair expected of him without ever fully surrendering to the twisted corruption of Hell. It was a challenge, keeping that very careful balance. Sometimes he slipped up and depending on the slip depended whether he was punished or rewarded. Gabriel could feel it, no matter how hard he fought, he could feel it. The turning of him, of who he was. It was at the forty year marker that things changed. Normally when Alistair left he did it without a word. This time had been different. Alistair had ordered him to stay put, which was redundant considering he couldn't leave. It wasn't long following that when something suspicious happened and Gabriel's guard went up, mistrust slipping through him as he returned to full assault on the soul before him. The area illuminated in a blindingly bright light and… warmth. A shudder rippled across him as memories of burning in hellfire flashed through him. Warmth didn't belong here. Not this kind of warmth. What had he done this time? Why was he being punished? He'd been careful about his actions, about his moves. Playing the part for Alistair for years._

_Gabriel lifted his gaze from the soul and watched as the blindingly bright light touched down before him, the few weaker demons that had been scattered around diving away and disappearing as the light arrived._

_Slowly the light took the form of something… inhuman but still made of pure light. Of course it wasn't human. What was it though? From what little he could make out there were… three heads attached to something semblant of a torso. Blinking several times he managed to make out… wings? "Gabriel Novak." His gaze wandered across the figure until it distorted itself into something else much more understandable, a glowing humanoid figure with silvery blue eyes and dark hair. Alistair had to be screwing with him. Testing him. Gabriel allowed himself to turn his full attention away from the soul he was still torturing. The damned woman he had been torturing sobbed in relief when his scalpel left her._

_"Another incubus so soon." Gabriel's words didn't come out as sarcastic as he'd hoped for, it was the first time he'd spoken in years and…it felt human, real, something he would need to note for later._

_"I am Samuel. I have come to here to free you, Gabriel Novak." Though the words clearly weren't English though Gabriel had long since learned that in Hell, there was no language. No limitations on what they could speak because they weren't alive._

_Gabriel almost laughed. Almost cracked up at that. Right. Being freed. He'd been in Hell for forty years. He wasn't getting out now. He had no reason to. If Cas could've saved him, it would've happened years ago. Besides, this was a trick. It had to be a trick. There was nothing that could save him. Alistair was testing him so he had to remain as he always did. "And I'm Queen of Hell. Leave me alone. I have work to return to." Then Gabriel turned and allowed that darker part of him to manifest momentarily. Gabriel was about to sink his blade back into the woman when arms wrapped around him and a startled cry escaped him. "Let me go!" Gabriel shouted as the arms tightened around him. Warmth, warmth and… something that didn't belong here. It didn't belong._

_"I will not, Gabriel. Stop being a child and allow me this." There was a breath of desperation in the words that sank into Gabriel and made him want to oblige. He couldn't. It was a trick. It had to be._

_Nothing would save him._ Play along. _He told himself. Except he wasn't sure that was the case. While he was trying to play along and act like it, something horrible was blooming deep in him at the presence of this creature, the warmth, the warmth that didn't burn. It felt right, it was dangerous._ Talk. _He ordered himself mentally._ Play along. _"Don't. I'm not worth saving. Don't save me. Save her or him. Not me." Gabriel fought against the being… Samuel._

_"Let me save you, Gabriel. Tell me yes." So much sincerity in those words. That warmth… bleeding into him. He was losing that battle. He wanted it to be true. Needed it to be._

_"I can't."_

_"Tell me yes." The creature's voice was firm yet pleading._

_"You can't make me." Gabriel's stated defiantly, his struggling getting weaker, he was losing. Something about the warmth… it was drawing him in, pulling him close._

_"Say yes, Gabriel. Let me save you."_ _The creature pleaded and something in him broke._

_If this was Alistair… no, Alistair had never simulated warmth like this. Nothing like this had ever happened. This had to be real. It_ had _to be. Gabriel crumbled in the arms of the being and choked out a single word, fear and agony radiating through him because what if it was wrong. What if he was wrong?_ _"Yes."_

Gabriel was pulled from his memories by the feeling of something nudging into his mind. It took almost no time for him to become aware of where he was, the guest bed. A few seconds later he became conscious of a concerned face inches above his and, for a moment, he could've sworn he saw that form that had initially materialized before him in Hell. Samuel, the angel. He had remembered his angel freeing him. In the sheer hopelessness of Hell and… he'd broken to him. Just like that.

All of those carefully constructed barriers he'd built to keep Alistair from destroying him had snapped in almost no time at all. He'd trusted Sam since before he knew that he was an angel and while that idea should've scared him, it did the exact opposite. It cemented that this thing he felt for the angel was stronger than just lust. Now all he needed was certainty that Sam wasn't acting off of a drug -aka soul- addiction.

"Gabriel."

Ignoring the worried tone in Sam's voice he wrapped his arms around the angel's neck and pulled, causing a startled gasp to escape him as she stumbled down on top of Gabriel. Gabriel allowed Sam to twist around until he was on his side next to Gabriel as moved onto his own side, propping his head up on his hand and searching Sam.

It was clear that Sam was confused, which was fair considering everything. "Let's run, Sam. Let's leave. Take off and never come back. Leave everyone and everything behind."

Sam opened then shut his mouth, watching Gabriel with concern and something else unreadable. "The world's ending, Gabe… we cannot." Gabriel's heart might've broke from the pain of the refusal if it wasn't aching slightly with excitement that Sam was calling him Gabe. Something about his lifelong nickname coming out of Sam's mouth had a massive effect on him and he was so screwed because he was being the world's biggest sap.

"Fuck the world. They don't need us."

"We did this, Gabriel. We need to fix it." Gabriel groaned in frustration because even though Sam said 'we' Gabriel could hear the underlying 'I'.

"I swear to… stop blaming yourself for this, Sam. It _isn't_ your fault. It's that bitch demon Nex's fault. We were played like fiddles. All of us were. I don't know what Lucifer imbedded in your head about it being your fault, but it isn't."

Pointedly Sam looked away from him which was _not_ going to work for this conversation. Hiding from the issue obviously wasn't helping anything. It was subtle but clear that Sam was repressing the shit he'd gone through which from personal experience he knew was a _very_ stupid thing to do.

" _Talk_ to me, Sam." He demanded as he shifted, reaching between them and putting a hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezing until his angel's broken gaze met his. _Fuck_. "What the hell did he do to you? You've got to talk to me because anyone that can understand is too emotionally stunted to get that you're miserable and need help."

"You _can't_ help, Gabriel." Sam responded miserably, words broken.

"You're right. I can't help. But I can listen. I can't imagine Alistair was half as creative as Lucifer could possibly be but it doesn't matter because this bottling it up shit clearly isn't working for you."

A panicked look flashed through Sam's eyes before it vanished. He shifted and Gabriel recognized what it was before the following pained sound escaped the angel's lips. Sam was trying to fly away and _hell no._

"Sam, stop." Gabriel tightened his grip as Sam tried to back off the edge of his bed.

"Let me go, Gabriel. I cannot do this. Do not make me talk about… that. Please."

"I won't make you talk, Sam." Gabriel conceded with reluctance. "But you can't keep burying it. You need to talk to someone."

"I'll think about it." Sam was clearly lying but Gabriel couldn't push for more for the moment.

 _Distract him._ A twisted part of his mind suggested and he shoved it off because sex was _not_ going to be a good idea in the current situation. If Gabriel was pushing for Sam to open up then followed it with sex it might give Sam the idea that he could use sex to escape talking and he was an expert at that already.

Gabriel let go of Sam but the angel made no move to leave. In fact, he relaxed back into the bed and rolled over so they were face to face.

"No sex." Gabriel said without thinking and Sam smiled at him.

"No sex." Sam agreed before kissing him.

.-~*~-.

An hour later Sam settled into the passenger seat of Dean's car and despite everything it felt natural. Nothing on Earth besides Gabriel had ever felt right, but sitting in that seat next to the brother that had all but raised them changed it. Dean's presence felt right. In a sick way he felt greedy, smug satisfaction that he was there. That he'd been the one to find the Archangel that fled Heaven after God left.

The more time he spent with him the more he understood it. The idea of running away. It was an interesting one. Something Gabriel wanted. After this was finished. After it all ended. Sam was going to do it. Sam was going to take Gabriel and hide him away because no matter what years of training said, Lucifer had been right. It was vindictive and cruel to give them something that they loved more than anything just to turn around and take it away.

"Sam?" Sam pulled out of his thoughts, looking over at Dean who hadn't stopped looking out across the road. A mental note he made was the song playing, one of many songs that Dean had made him listen to before the disastrous event at Mount Rushmore, Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.

"Yeah?" He asked, focusing on the conversation rather than trying to understand the words to the song again.

"You good?"

Sam frowned, considering the side of his brother's head. Dean knew the answer to that. He was broken and the only thing keeping him stable was going in the opposite direction. Which meant this was Dean's time with humanity seeping through. Asking a question that he knew the answer to meant he wanted or expected Sam to lie.

"I am fine." He answered, phantom limbs tucking into his back submissively. Lying to an Archangel. It rang wrong through his damaged Grace. Except Dean was no longer an Archangel. A pagan god. Internally he chastised himself. No more. It was over. He wasn't their puppet anymore.

"That's good." Dean answered awkwardly and for a moment Sam searched him. Considered a question.

"How did you do it?" Dean blinked, glancing over at him. "I can understand leaving Heaven. It's scarily easy to understand that. What I mean is, how did you take on your Pagan persona. How did Meg hide herself? How do you handle not having your wings?"

Dean's grip tightened on the wheel. "Sam, you don't want to give up Heaven. You don't want to do that."

"Why?" Sam demanded of his brother, words coming out harsher than intended.

"Can you hear anyone?" Dean asked in response and for a moment he didn't understand, until he did. It was there. His link to Heaven was there. A soft buzz in the back of his Grace, fractured and faded to the point that he was unable to hear it but still there, just like most everything else. "If you do what we did, it's gone. It's quiet. What I was doing with those humans was giving myself a link to something. I could teach you. I could take you and we could get you Pagan power or Gavreel could teach you how to do what he did. It's quiet, Sammy. It kills you slowly and I'm not really sure you could handle it." The song faded out, replaced with another song that Sam knew was called Stairway to Heaven. It bit at him, irritated him, while Dean's words made him mournful. More understanding of just what they'd gone through when they left. Lucifer had mentioned being isolated from Heaven. Had his imprisonment locked him off from The Host? Could Sam willingly subject himself to that?

The answer was yes. At a later point however. In his current state, he couldn't protect Gabriel. His Grace was unstable and waiting to escape from its confines. Waiting to hurt him again. If he couldn't protect Gabriel as an angel, he'd do it as a Pagan.

"Why are we getting your Grace, Dean?" Sam had already pieced this together but he wanted to know if Dean would lie to him.

"Raphael has it." Dean answered after a moment and Sam flinched back, staring at the side of Dean's head. That wasn't what he'd expected. That was the last thing he'd expected to hear. Dean had told them they were getting his Grace but if Raphael had it…

"No." Sam grabbed the handle of the car door. "Stop the car. Stop now, Dean." His brother complied and before the vehicle had pulled to a full halt Sam was out of the car and on his knees behind it with a painful shudder rippling through him, eyes burning painfully as phantom limbs tried wrapping around him. The second Dean had mentioned Raphael Sam _knew_. Knew why he was going with him. Why he was being drug with his brother into this situation.

"Sam!" Hands were on his shoulders, shaking him violently until he focused on the figure in front of him, cloaked in green magic. Not an Archangel. That was the difference. That was the difference. "You won't have to go there. Sammy, look at me. Fuck."

Sam did look at his brother, sinking under the order for a second before he was reminded that this wasn't Debriel. Not yet. Anger flared through his grace that tried to expose itself again, something he couldn't afford again.

"If I come with you to help you get your Grace back, you are taking it back." Dean stared at him, obviously looking for a reason to argue with him, to protest this request. Sam was not going to keep going with this. No matter how much Dean was hiding from his identity, they needed his brother the archangel, not a fake pagan. "You brought me with you because you need my help. The things Lucifer did to me? It ruined my Grace. My mind. You can't see the damage. I need you and you need me."

Dean made an irritated sound in the back of his throat, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away. "Don't say crap like that, Sam."

"It's true and you know it. We need an archangel to deal with another archangel and you know it."

"I don't _want_ to be an archangel."

"It doesn't matter what we want, Dean. Have you not figured this out yet? It's what we have to do. What we think we have to do. Killing Lilith? We didn't want to do that. I didn't want to do that. We did it because we thought it would save the world. We aren't going to be able to deal with archangels without your help and you know it."

"Damn it, Sammy." Dean rose to his feet, shaking his head. "Fuck. Fine. Why do you have to be right?"

"Because you taught me to." Sam answered, rising to his feet carefully.

"I didn't teach that crap to you. You were created with it." Dean responded, laughing sharply. "Damn it, Sammy. Fine. When we get it back, I'll do it."

"Alright."

"Just like that?" Dean asked him, slightly stunned.

"There's nothing more to talk about." Sam brushed it off as he made his way back into the car, shutting his eyes and thinking over everything. They would get Debriel back, then they could figure something out with the Lucifer situation. Figure out what Lucifer's plans were.


	11. 10: Dalara's Dillemna

Dalara closed her eyes, pulling at the padded cuffs that asshole Archangel had restrained her with until she felt her wrists trying to pop from socket. Fuck him. Fuck all of them. They had no right to keep her restrained. _None._ They didn't know her. They didn't know what shit she'd been through. What she was still going through. Neither of the angels had bothered repairing the internal injuries she still had, the damage that Alistair had done to her before Luci broke free.

Fuck the angels. Fuck Heaven. Fuck them all.

A pain tolerance of titanium made it easy to stow away the physical problems, forget it all. That was easy. It left her mind clear and focused on the bigger problem. Getting the _fuck_ out of there. Luci had told her that wherever the hell she was had been specifically warded against angels. That she wouldn't be able to find her or where she was. Dalara needed the _out_.

"Dalara Valentine." Dalara jerked slightly, her attention going to the corner of the room from where she had been strapped down in the center.

A woman with blonde hair and a heart wrenchingly familiar appearance was standing there, arms crossed over her chest. Dalara's heart skipped a beat, tears filling her eyes. _Lilly_. Unable to speak, Dalara stared at her love as she approached her. Another hallucination. It had to be. Even then, Dalara couldn't do anything but twist under her restraints, fighting against it.

"I'm not her, Dalara. I'm sorry." A broken sound escaped her as the creature approached, if this wasn't a hallucination… What was this? What was she? Her mind kicked into gear as she ran through a mental list of shapeshifting creatures, a siren? No. Wait. They were in the stupid prison. How was it there? "My name is Arbor. I'm the last nymph."

A sharp laugh escaped her, even as the movement set the pain in her internal organs alight in pain. She couldn't help it. This was the last of nature. One of the stupid seals that hadn't really mattered in the end. Arbor stepped up beside her, brushing fingers across her cheek as she flicked something, pulling the strap off her mouth. Dalara sucked in a sharp breath and flexed her jaw.

"We need to talk."

"How 'bout ya stop wearin' Lilly's face and we will." She snapped and watched gratefully as the nymph's form twisted to a male with similar attributes to Lilly, but they were better than having to look at the face of what she'd lost. "You here to let me go?"

"I can't. I'm oathbound to Loki which means I can't help the Judeo-Christian Apocalypse move forward."

"Interestin'. Sayin' you can't, not that ya wouldn't."

"I'm not really a fan of humanity. I behaved myself for years and was nearly punished for it."

"What're you doin' here?"

"I'm here to make a deal." The nymph licked its lips and Dalara narrowed her eyes. "Loki can't access this place because it's being protected by Greek magic. I'm Greek in origins. Just offered a sacrifice to Pan and he let me through."

"You're not answerin' m' question."

"I want you to say 'no'. No Judeo-Christian Apocalypse."

"Ya mean Loki wants me t' say 'no'." Arbor nodded once, watching her silently. "What do I get outta the deal?"

Arbor spread her arms, gaze going to the floor. "Me."

Dalara's teeth clenched because she knew Loki's sick motivation behind this move. Loki was banking on her hunter nature to override her desire to say 'yes'.

"I can be her, the one you lost."

"Tell y'ur god I said for 'im t' go fuck 'imself." Dalara spat angrily. "I don't need a fuckin' sex slave. I'm sorry if you're bein' forced into this, Arbor. The answer's 'no'. Now fuck off."

Arbor's gaze met hers. "As you wish." Arbor stepped forward again, refastening the strap much to the irritation of Dalara. "I wish you luck, Dalara." Then Dalara was alone and pissed. Why was she being treated as the bad guy? It wasn't like she'd chosen this fate. It wasn't her choice that Lucifer wanted to possess her. Much to the protesting of her internal injuries she writhed against the restraints, tears burning in her eyes as she slumped against the table in surrender. _Fuck._

" _We can do this, Dal. We escaped Ali. We can escape an over glorified archangel."_ Though she hadn't realized it, her eyes had shut and when she opened them a reflection of her was staring down at her, watching her with onyx eyes, head tilted to the side and a twisted smile on her face. _This one isn't real._

Knowing that didn't make the demon hallucination any less right. It was only a matter of using all of the tricks in her book. Every little thing she'd ever come up with and even then it might not be enough. It was all dependent on just how cocky Debriel was. Before it would've been simple to escape, like turning a key in a lock. If her demon half had been smart she wouldn't be in the situation she was.

" _Don't blame me for your screw-ups, Dally."_ The demon her smiled cruelly, walking away from the bed and looking out the window. _"There's no one outside but I'd say a big no go on us being completely alone. They wouldn't be stupid enough to risk that."_ Dalara wasn't so sure about that considering Arbor had managed to get in, however it didn't matter because she couldn't bring that open. Since she couldn't do anything else, she glared at the demon version who turned around, smiling smugly at her. _"Aw, I forgot. Dally the First can't talk. Alright, fine. Let's look at this logically. We're not getting anywhere when you're restrained. You know what you need to do."_

Dalara cringed slightly, knowing that demon her was right. She could get out of this. All it would take was a broken hand…or two and some creativity.

_Luci, I swear to you. I will get out of this. I will do whatever it takes to give you my 'yes'. I promise._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia question, does anyone know what hunt Dean has sent Gabe and Cas on?


	12. 11: Tigerskin Rugs and Baby Fetuses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Castiel has a vision through Samael's eyes which is graphic. My friend told me to cut back or it'd be worse.

Of everything Gabriel had been through, being blinded for playing with himself was definitely a weird one. In hindsight, maybe he should've expected it. After all, his life was a bit chaotic, and this case sort of screamed "don't do things that could be manipulated by little kids".

Then Dean had gone and confessed it was a damned _cambion._ The damned Antichrist, or one of them as Sam had so helpfully pointed out.

" _Try saying three Hail Marys in the bathroom. Or maybe washing your eyes out with some soapy water."_

Gabriel was going to strangle Dean when he saw him again and no one would be able to stop him.

Except maybe Sam. How the Hell was this his life?

"Look, kiddo. I know what it's like to be a monster, to do horrible things." Gabriel held his hands out in what he hoped was the right direction. The kid was positively _radiating_ demonic energy and logically they should've run. Not that they did logical.

"She says I'm half demon, how can I be good?" The boy's voice was shaking and Gabriel felt terrible. But he kept talking.

"All of us are capable of good and evil. All of us. I've done horrible things to people. Not because I had to, but because I wanted to. So has my brother. But we've also done _good_. A lot of good. You don't have to be a monster. It's your choice. And we can't stop you. You have to stop yourself."

There was a breath of silence following his words, and for a moment Gabriel was worried the kid would choose evil and kill them.

"Out!" The boy's biological mother screamed and wind soared past his face, _the demon_ , and two thuds hit the floor.

"How did you do that?" Both him and Cas asked at the same time.

"I just... did."

"Do you think you could fix my eyes?" Gabriel asked hopefully.

"What's wrong with them?" Gabriel shifted uncomfortably.

"Never mind." Dean could probably fix them. He was not giving this kid that "talk".

A pained sound came from the corner that had to be Julia's then a hand was on his arm, guiding him then pushing at him until he sat back on a comfortable couch cushion. Being completely blind was _not_ fun and was _not_ something he would ever subject himself to willingly, well unless he was blindfolded but that was something else entirely.

"Is she gonna be alright?" Jesse asked from somewhere in front of him.

"She is simply resting." Cas answered from further away. "Possession can be very exhausting."

"You're sure?" Gabriel could hear the frown in the kid's voice.

"Yes." Cas answered, closer now. "I've been possessed before. It is... unpleasant, but you can recover."

There was a movement in the couch and Gabriel guessed by the movement of his brother's voice that Cas had taken a seat next to him.

"What now?" The boy asked from somewhere in front of them.

Gabriel shifted uncomfortably, "There's two choices, but you won't like either."

"What are they?"

"You have to leave here. As long as you're here the demons will come for you, and the devil, and I'm sorry but they won't care how young you are because they'll do whatever it takes to-"

Cas elbowed him in the ribs, hard, and Gabriel flinched away.

"I understand you don't like this. But it has to be." Cas said, changing over from the darker path his words had been taking.

"What will I do?" The boy asked, nearly a whisper.

"You can join us, we have a friend and he'll be good to you. Or you can run." Gabriel responded.

"My parents?"

"It's you choice." Gabriel answered honestly. "But if you bring them with you, they would be in danger."

There was a long break of silence, then the boy spoke. "I want to say goodbye."

"Of course." Cas responded, a shuffling of feet filling the air as Jesse no doubt left them.

They waited, and waited, then, just as sudden as it had gone away his vision returned. He blinked as he adjusted to the scene around him. Suddenly he was able to take in the sight of the broken furniture, the dim glow of sunlight pouring through the window.

Then he was on his feet and running towards the stairwell, a very confused Cas on his heels.

Jesse was gone.

.-~*~-.

"I cannot believe you sent them to hunt a cambion."

"They'll be fine, Sam."

"He's _blind_ , Dean."

Dean chuckled, shaking his head. "It's not my fault that he's got the libido of a teenage boy."

Sam frowned at this, Dean had refused to explain why Gabriel was blind and Gabriel had only said he was bored. Then it clicked into place and Sam felt a rush of embarrassment for his Soul.

"Now you're getting it."

"Partially." Sam answered, "I will-"

"Nope. This conversation is done." A smile crossed Sam's face at the discomfort in his brother's voice.

"It baffles me that you're so uncomfortable with mentions of sex."

"Not sex, Sammy. Gabriel's sex life. I've seen some of the things he's gotten up to in the bedroom, and back alleys, and I'd rather not think about what he does with my brother."

"He doesn't take control in the bedroom. Everything we do, is my choice." Sam responded and Dean cast him a curious look.

"That's not like him."

"I can't give him control. It's the one thing in my life I can make choices in." Sam paused, shifting uncomfortably and looking down at the floorboard. "Is it wrong? For me to take that away from him?"

"Has he complained?" Dean asked, discomfort in his voice.

"No." Sam answered after a moment, which wasn't a lie really. "He asked me about it, but he didn't complain."

"I think if it truly bothered him he would mention it. As much as I hate knowing this, Gabriel doesn't care much for how he gets it as long as he gets off." Sam smiled at the potent discomfort in Dean's words, though they were very helpful. "Now, I'm done with this conversation."

"Of course. Then let's discuss how you intend on retrieving your Grace."

"I'm still working on that." Dean admitted after a moment.

"Well, it's with Raphael. Which means I am not going anywhere near it."

"Raphael won't hurt you." Dean told him, clearly not believing his own words.

"Gabriel told me what existed between Michael and Raphael. Raphael would do anything to draw Raphael out of hiding. Including torturing me. He won't care that Gabriel doesn't wish to say 'yes'. So no. I absolutely won't go near Raphael."

Dean groaned, hitting his hands against the wheel in frustration before focusing on the road again. "You are a stubborn little angel."

"No. I'm just not willing to subject myself to the torture of another Archangel."

"Even if I can guarantee your safety?"

"Like you guaranteed Gabe?" Dean flinched at the harshness in Sam's words, but Sam knew. Lucifer had burnt it into him. Over and over again Lucifer had told him how his most trusted brother had murdered his Soul.

"I didn't know someone had torn up his demon deal and you know it."

"No. You didn't know. You just assumed he was going to Hell again and thought it would be smart to throw him into Lucifer's hands after I killed Lilith. At lack of a better phrase, you're a dumbass."

"I apologized for that. It was a mistake."

"That almost threw him into the hands of the wrong Archangel."

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else you want me to say. It was a fuck up. But I did what I could to help."

"Something you would not have had to do if you had kept your Grace."

"I didn't _want_ it. I still don't. If I become _him_ again I'll be doing what _God_ wants and he doesn't deserve that."

"If you're doing it to rebel against what He wants, using the power He bestowed on you, is it really doing what He wants? If you rebel against the Apocalypse, His ultimate Plan, is it really doing what He wants? Just _think_ about it, Dean."

Dean didn't respond and Sam wasn't sure he wanted him to. It was all too messy. Too chaotic. There still wasn't a plan. Just a long car ride to Heaven.

Thankfully his phone started ringing, cutting his thoughts off. He scrambled to answer the object, pressing it to his ear. "Hello?"

 _"Hey, Sammy."_ Gabriel's voice came from the other line, sounding tired and defeated.

"Are you okay?"

_"I'm fine. We lost the kid."_

"How the hell did you manage that?" Dean spoke up from the driver's seat.

_"Butt out, Dean-o. I'm talking to your brother."_

"You let a damned cambion loose on the planet and expect me to butt out."

_"Yes. If you don't stop eavesdropping like the ass you are I'll start telling you a detailed play by play of all the dirty little ways your brother debauched me. First he-"_

"Fine." Dean ground out, glaring at the smile on Sam's face.

_"What happened?"_

"We told him the truth and he left." Gabriel responded as Dean turned the radio back on, Kashmir coming through the speakers.

_"You're okay?"_

"Peachy. Cas is driving us a few town over so we can rest. I've got a couple fractured ribs and Cas has a concussion but we've been through worse."

He frowned at this. _"You should call Balthazar."_

"We've been through worse."

_"Considering worse consists of dying that's not promising."_

"If we were going to die I'd call Balthazar. Promise. Enough about me. How's your quest for Heaven going?"

_"Apparently it isn't going anywhere yet. Dean didn't consider planning something that didn't involve me entering Heaven."_

"We could kill me again." Gabriel suggested, which was discerning considering it didn't sound like he was joking.

 _"No."_ Sam answered sharply, remembering the agonizing pain from his last death. As long as he could stop it, Gabriel would never die again.

_"You are_ _not_ _dying again, Gabriel. You would not go to Heaven. You'd go to Hell and then-"_

So Gabriel hadn't told Castiel about his recent death. _"I told you when I came back I wouldn't die again until I was forty and I meant it. I swear, Cas. I won't do that to you again."_ The words were further away and Sam realized he'd set the phone down. So he waited.

 _"You throw your life away like you are nothing and that isn't true. You-"_ The line went dead and Sam set the phone down, staring out the window.

"They're hard to handle, Sammy. Especially him."

"Castiel was right."

"Gabriel has always been a self-destructive ticking time bomb, but he has good intentions. Mostly."

"You still hate him."

"Dislike. I don't hate him. How many times have we had this conversation?"

"Clearly not enough because I still do not believe you."

"I'm not gonna get on my hands and knees and bow before your Soul, Sammy. Not how that works. So take my word, or don't, I don't really care either way."

Sam sighed in annoyance, leaning back in his chair and shutting his eyes.

.-~*~-.

Sam took a breath, stretching his wings out and turning around in the small cottage, eyeing Gabriel with curiosity. His Soul was spread out naked on the tigerskin rug in a way he was certain was supposed to be provocative; the only effect it had on him was making him smile in amusement.

"You continue to baffle me."

"C'mon, Sammy. Live a little."

"You are a ridiculous human being."

"But you love me." Gabriel stood and crossed the space, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss.

"Probably." Sam answered, smiling at the pout on Gabriel's lips.

"I won't push." Sam was grateful. He still wasn't completely sure he loved his Soul. Not yet.

"I know you won't. Which is why I adore you." Gabriel pulled him into another kiss and he pried away earning a huff of annoyance as he looked around the room. "What is this place?"

"A dream." Gabriel answered, almost shyly.

"I've never seen it before."

"I know. When I was younger, I had a dream of a normal life. No monsters. No sleazy bars and motels. It was a pipe dream. But I'd come here at night and live fantasy lives with Cas and sometimes dad. Occasionally there'd be someone waiting for me. A pretty face I'd met."

"How about now?"

"Now I dream of you. And Hell. And Heaven."

"I am sorry he ruined your Heaven."

"I don't want to go to Heaven when I die again, Sam. I'd rather suffer in Hell than be trapped there."

Sam froze, wrapping arms and wings around his Soul. "No. No, Gabriel. You cannot think like that. Not now. Not ever. You are meant to be in Heaven and when you truly die, I will tear down all of Heaven to join you."

Gabriel laughed without humor, pulling him into another kiss. "Sam, if I die. You can't let me go back. _Don't_ let me go back."

"Don't ask me that. Gabriel, please." There were three options, three blindingly terrible options. If he refused to go to Heaven, he would either go to Hell, remain trapped in The Veil for all of eternity unless a hunter destroyed him, or be completely destroyed. All of the options were terrible. All of them.

"I can't do that again. I _can't._ " Sam pulled him into another lingering, passionate kiss.

"No, Gabriel." He whispered, "You will go to Heaven. But it will be good. It will be pure. I promise."

"Not with Raphael there. Not with this damned brand on my soul that says I'm supposed to end the world."

"Michael doesn't want to kill his brother. You won't end the world."

"Oh right. Just my half demon sister. Which, by the way, I need to talk to you about."

"About her being Lucifer's True Vessel?" Sam latched onto the subject change. Anything was better than talking about his death.

"You know about that? No. Not her being Luci's Vessel. I've been thinking about what she said to me, before I left."

"Luci? Is it wise to nickname the Archangel that tortured me for a thousand years?" Sam asked, flinching at his own words. At the lie. Not a thousand years.

"Dalara was calling Lucifer a she and it was fitting. I can stop if you want me to."

Sam doubted his Soul's ability to stop with nicknames so he just shrugged slightly. "It will not do harm." In fact, referring to Lucifer by a nickname might be a safer bet, less likely to be interpreted as prayer.

"If we killed Dalara, she would be resurrected, right?"

"While sealed in that room I do not believe she could be resurrected by an angel or demon. Of course her Soul is in a strange state and I'm unsure she can die a human death. It's likely that if she were killed in that room, she would resurrect as a demon again. Why are you asking?"

"I think she'll do whatever it takes to get out. No matter the cost. When she does, because she absolutely will, she will say 'yes' and help destroy the planet."

"What's the point you're trying to make, Gabriel?"

"You need to get your brother off his ass to either kill or imprison Luci again before Dal can say 'yes'. It's the only chance we have."

Sam's wings drooped and he shook his head. "I'm not certain he was being honest about taking his Grace back, there is no way that I could begin to convince him that is a good idea."

"I don't care if you have to shove it down his throat, make sure he gets his Grace back, Sammy. But don't get yourself hurt doing it." The scene began fading and Gabriel cursed. "Damn it. Cas is waking me up. Be careful."

.-~*~-.

_Castiel stood in the remnants of a town, kneeling in a pool of human blood. Except it wasn't him, and he knew that now._

" _Samael?" He spoke up and felt a flutter of curiosity, nudging from something warm on his consciousness. He, though it wasn't him, continued to disassemble the dead human in front of them. He was removing each bone and organ with an almost childlike curiosity, inspecting them closely. "Do you know how to speak?"_

_The Archangel paused in its ministrations and rose to their feet in a fluid movement, crossing the street and kneeling before another corpse, punching through its corpse and drenching their hand in blood. The archangel used the blood soaked hand to begin etching symbols into the ground. While it drew it brushed against his consciousness with curiosity, affection, and care._

" _You are healed, yes?" The Archangel asked, finally speaking, the words so_ familiar _yet he couldn't remember why. When had he heard this voice?_

 _Until it registered with him. That was_ his _voice. His own voice echoing back at him._

" _I... I think so..." Castiel responded, voice shaky._

_Samael rose to his feet, brushing his fingers against their jeans and stared at the bloody symbols on the ground. Castiel still didn't understand them. Their purpose or meaning. Just symbols._

" _I do not understand." The Archangel spoke again coolly as they returned to the body that they had been disassembling._

" _Understand me?" Castiel asked as they knelt in blood again, removing the woman's uterus and carefully peeling back the flesh like an orange peel to look inside at the three month old fetus. No matter how hard he tried, Castiel could not look away and could not be sick, could not help the horrible sense of curiosity that tried to nose its way forward as Samael nudged at his consciousness with another brush of curiosity and childlike wonder._

" _I do not understand." Samael repeated, pulling the developing fetus from the inside of the uterus and examining the dead unborn child._

Castiel tumbled out of the motel bed, gasping for breath and staring vacantly at the divots in the motel ceiling.

_Samael._

The Archangel he was supposed to say yes to, it was so _twisted_ but for some horrible reason he couldn't bring himself to be angry with it. Not after feeling its mind. That Archangel was twisted, but it was almost-

"Gabriel!" He was up and on his feet in a moment because he couldn't afford to think like that, couldn't sympathize for a mass murderer. He gripped his brother's arm and shook him until he swung at him, muttering complaints about needing to sleep. "I spoke to Samael. Wake _up_." Gabriel rolled over and met his gaze, blinking rapidly in confusion.

"You- what?"

"Samael. The Archangel. I talked to him. Well, sort of." Castiel latched onto the memories because he realized that they were quickly fading.

"Sa- oh! Shit, Cas. Are you okay?" Gabriel kicked back his blankets and pulled Cas to the bed, checking him over for injuries. Castiel scowled and brushed his brother's hands off.

"It was another vision."

"Are you sure?" His brother asked doubtfully, inspecting him a bit too closely.

"What're you talking about? Of course I'm sure."

"You're covered in blood, Cassie." His brother responded and he blinked in confusion, before the words clicked, then he was running to the bathroom and staring at himself in the mirror. Sure enough, he was completely covered in blood. From head to toe. Just like…

 _Samael?_ He had to try. He had to ask. He _had_ to.

His breathing stopped at the warm brush of Grace, it was _Grace_ against his consciousness, then it was gone.

.-~*~-.

Castiel sat at the diner and watched his brother shovel down junk food while he stared at his own toast and jelly with distaste.

"Ellen called earlier. Wants us to get off our lazy asses and head to Missouri." Gabe said after swallowing a mouthful of junk.

"Where in Missouri?" Castiel asked, forcing himself to take a bite of the food and swallow it down.

"Springfield. You okay, Cas?"

"Yes." He responded reflexively, his brother frowning but not pushing. "What's in Missouri?"

"She wouldn't say. Said it was important though."

"So we're going to Missouri?"

"I really want to go back by Bobby's and check on Dalara."

"What purpose would checking on her do? She's warded."

"You'll hate me for suggesting it, but I'm worried that leaving her there is a bad idea."

"You want to take her with us? What the _hell_ , Gabriel? We can't just-"

"I don't like the idea any more than you do. Cas, she's certain she's going to get out and say 'yes'. If we leave her there-"

"She's warded. Warded _heavily._ There is no way-"

"Are you sure about that, Cas? A hundred percent positive?"

Cas bit down on the inside of his cheek, glaring at his brother. There was no doubt that Gabe was biased in this situation, but he also was probably right. Cas didn't know much about the girl, but what he understood of her said that there was absolutely nothing that could stop her from doing what she wanted. Not death and certainly not warding. They would be better off having her, but they were about to meet with _Ellen and Jo._

"You do remember the history between your charming sister and the Harvelles right, Gabe?"

"I know. But I'd feel a Hell of a lot better watching her then leaving her in the panic room."

Cas observed his brother for a moment, trying to figure out his headspace. But whatever it was, Gabe wasn't giving it away which was a bit troublesome. He trusted his brother's judgement, to an extent, so nodded solemnly. "Okay. We'll go pick sister from Hell up then meet with Ellen and Jo. I hope you realize how bad of an idea I think this is."

"I know, Cas. Thanks for being supportive of my bad life decisions."

"Don't make me regret this." He responded, rising to his feet and dropping some money next to his abandoned meal. Gabriel pouted but rose to his feet with him.

"I'll call Ellen and let her know."

"Don't give her specifics. Having Demon Dalara is the last thing I want."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Gabriel brushed off as he headed out of the diner.

.-~*~-.

Sam shifted in his seat as Dean stopped outside a diner. "Why are we stopping here?"

"I need a power boost before we get to the Heaven entrance."

"I still don't understand how we're getting to Heaven from California."

"Remember Jacob's Ladder?"

"Vaguely. That was in Israel."

"Which Samael destroyed." Dean reminded him and he frowned, until he remembered and a wave of grief crossed him. "Don't worry. You'll forget it in a minute, Sammy. I know it sucks. Stay focused though. Samael destroyed Israel. All of those people are gone so it moved to another location, only this one of dense population. By our luck it ended up in San Francisco rather than somewhere east. We'll ignore the twisted irony of it being in The City of Sin in favor of the funnier irony of it being in The City of Angels." Sam followed as Dean opened his car door, climbing out and heading for the door.

"So have you come up with a plan that doesn't involve me?" Sam was reminded of Gabriel. Telling him to do whatever it takes to get Dean's Grace back, as long as he was safe.

"I'm not great at plans so not yet. I'm sure I'll figure something out before we get there. If not, I'll wing it."

"It amazes me that you have survived this long."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Dean responded, sighing heavily and going through the door. "Without you, I'm throwing myself into Heaven. I can probably mask my pagan powers to appear as a loose human soul, but even then there's the angels."

"There are angels in Heaven who have worshipped you for decades. If-"

"I am not dragging them into the middle of a battle between Archangels. It will _kill_ them."

"And they aren't dying now? Do you have any idea what Lucifer did to his followers? The ones that took his side? They were slaughtered. Every last one of them. I _watched_ Lucifer rip them apart. Each and every one of them. All because they chose to follow Lucifer. So fuck you, Dean. They're dying. They're the little soldiers that _you_ trained and they're _dying._ "

Dean was frozen where he stood next to the table for a moment before he clearly forced himself to sit. There was a careful mask in place as Sam joined him.

"Why?"

"Why didn't I tell you? Because I didn't wish for you to have to carry that burden. To give you a sense of faith that your sister was redeemable. But, _Debriel_. You have to recognize just how far she has Fallen. How much our brothers and sisters need you. We need Debriel. All of us. And if you say the word, I can guarantee that they will fall behind you loyally."

"Even after I abandoned you all?"

"Balthazar and I did. If not for your history, Anael would have done the same. We love you, Dean. You are the big brother that always cared. Before the other Archangels, and far before God. No matter the exterior, you loved us each. We would fall in line behind you, all you have to say is the word."

"You want me to overtake Heaven."

"I want you to keep Raphael from _destroying_ Heaven in Michael's name. If I have to tell you harsh truths to do that, I will, because it's all I have left. Every single sickening fact that _he_ burnt into my very being. Every horrible thing he showed me, I will do that. We need our big brother. We need Debriel. Not Raphael or Michael or Lucifer. We need the one Archangel that _cares._ Stand up for us, _Debriel._ _Please_ stand up for us. _Please_ , brother."

Dean stared at him for several long moments before disappearing in a flash of god power.

That could have gone better. Sam groaned in frustration, rubbing his hands over his face. Was this the feeling the humans equated to wanting to claw their eyes out? More than likely. After a moment he drew his phone from his pocket, hitting the numbers for Gabriel and pressing it to his ear.

"You okay?" Is the immediate response.

"Dean's gone." Sam answered, looking up at the clearly confused waitress as she arrived at the table.

"Wasn't there... Never mind, what can I get you?"

"Just a coffee." He answered, smiling apologetically at the woman.

"Who's that?" Gabriel pushed from the other line.

"I'm at a diner." Sam explained.

"Can I get you anything else?" The woman asked, frowning. It was probably rude to talk on the phone while ordering a meal but he hardly cared.

"Not at the moment. Thank you." She nodded and left him.

"She sounded suspicious. Are you sure you're okay?"

"She saw Dean disappear I think. I'm fine. I can defend myself if need be."

"That isn't what I meant and you know it."

"I believe so. I cannot say it's all perfectly well but I imagine he'll return."

"What happened?" Gabriel asked and he hesitated.

"I told him we needed Debriel, he did not take it well. But it's not important right now. Where are you?"

"Heading back to Bobby's to pick Dal up."

Sam started for a second, confused, before he spoke. "Have you lost your mind?"

"Probably. After what we talked about earlier I realized having her under physical surveillance would be safer than leaving her to free herself."

"So stay there with her."

"We can't. Ellen said she has something urgent and considering she hates my guts I believe her."

"Okay, Gabriel. I trust your judgement. Just please be careful. The moment she is out of that room Lucifer will rain Hell upon you to get her."

"I won't die for her, Sam. Promise."

"I've got to go."

"Where are you going Sam?"

"I'll wait for Dean with his car. I've noticed his unhealthy attachment to the vehicle and assume he will come back for it sooner or later."

Gabriel laughed from the other line. "Considering gods and Archangels don't need cars I'd say the fact that he owns a car is a pretty good reason to assume he'll be back for it."

"Goodbye, Gabriel."

"Wait, Sam. You have your IDs and stuff, right?"

"I do."

"Alright. Love you, Sammy. Cas wants to drive and I feel like I didn't sleep." The hunter didn't wait for an answer before the line went dead. Sam stared for several long moments at the screen, considering the implications of love. Did he love Gabriel? He surely cared for him. Definitely was physically attracted to him. But love was a complicated emotion he had yet to fully and truly understand.

The waitress set a cup before him and he nodded to her, lifting the glass and drinking some. Sam finished it then left a few twenties on the table before rising and leaving. Sam stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of an angel in front of him, six golden and blue wings spread proudly behind him in warning.

"Akobel?" Sam reached for his pocket, however stopped when the other angel drew his blade first.

"Hands to the side, Samuel." Sam carefully did as told, holding his hands out. "Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Debriel." The angel answered sharply.

"I don't know." It wasn't a lie and he hoped to God, if He was listening, that this angel saw that.

"What happened to your Grace, Brother?"

Sam curled his Grace closer to his center out of reflex, phantom wings tucking against his back. "Lucifer." He answered, trying to keep the words stronger than they were. "Let me talk, Brother. Please."

"Raphael has said some horrible things about you, Samuel. He has told us that you and Debriel conspired to free Lucifer. That you destroyed Lilith so that Lucifer would destroy his followers."

"You know me, Brother. You know what I stood for. Why would I ever subject Lucifer to the destruction of his Soul? What would I ever gain from such a crime?" Sam shifted a step backwards. "See my Grace, Brother. Tell me I am a liar. But what I say is true. I was punished for millennia because of it. Lucifer wants both me and my Soul destroyed for what I did, and he is rightful in his anger. But what I did was not deliberate."

"You are calling Raphael a liar."

"I'm calling him a deceiver. Michael has left Heaven. He left long ago. My Soul is his Vessel. I do not gain by working against-"

Akobel cut him off, staring at him in confusion. "No angel on Earth has a Soul. What are you talking about, Samuel?"

His Grace chilled at this revelation, at the idea that Akobel did't know he had a Soul. All of Heaven knew. Had known. It was the least kept secret among them since the start of The Apocalypse. All of Heaven knew who Gabriel Novak was to Samuel.

"You do not remember. Have you been with Naomi recently, Brother?"

Akobel paused and Sam saw the way the angel thought over his words. Saw the dawning realization as he began to understand. Even if he could not remember, he would be able to understand.

"Raphael deceived us. Why?"

Sam hesitated on answering this, because the answer to this question would be unbelievable to him. Akobel simply would not believe him.

"If I tell you, you will not believe me. Wait for our brother to arrive and he will explain it. Please, Akobel. Even if I meant harm, I cannot do anything anymore. I'm vulnerable." The Seraph stared at him for several long moments before nodding and putting his blade away. Warily he passed his brother, walking towards the car and jerking against a hand as it came down on his shoulder.

"What happened to your wings?" Akobel demanded and he wanted nothing more than to flee. To crawl away and hide. Even Fallen angels kept their wings.

"Debriel was forced to cut them away after what Lucifer did to them." He forced out, relaxing when the hand came off his arm, replaced with one of the seraph's wing draping across him. It took a moment before Samuel relaxed into the feeling of the weight over his Grace, his back, balancing him out in a way he hadn't experienced since he killed Lilith.

"I am truly sorry, Samuel." His brother told him as they walked towards Dean's car.

"It is no one's fault but my own. Can I ask why you are here?"

"I am on patrol for Raphael. I sensed a pagan and came to investigate."

"That was Debriel." He answered honestly.

"I have heard." The other angel responded, a smile in his voice.

Sam opened the door and slid into the passenger seat, looking to the back as Akobel flew into the seat. "You are very accepting."

"It is Debriel. I will always trust him before Raphael." The angel told him honestly and he was unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. Of course he had been right. Now it was a matter of getting Dean to see the truth.


	13. 12: There's Something Wrong With Cas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel felt sick as a dream he'd had of his brother covered from head to toe in blood manifested. "What's wrong with you, Cas? Seriously. When was the last time you spoke to Meg? When was the last time you stopped and looked at you. You're changing, bro and it's starting to freak me the fuck out."

_Gabriel spun around as the wind picked up around him, the sky darkening as a form materialized in front of him. It was a form that didn't freak him out solely because of his time with Loki. It was him. His own face reflected back at his own._

" _Gabriel, we need to talk."_

" _Who are you?"_

" _Who do you think, moron?" Another gust of wind picked up, knocking him back on his ass._

" _What is your_ deal _?" Then it clicked. The wind. The wind was a dead giveaway. It had been used during their last encounter. "Michael."_

" _And here I was concerned. Yes, it's me."_

" _You look like me." He said stupidly._

" _Of course. You're my True Vessel. It was either this or that angel of yours and I can't exactly pop in as Sam. I've regrettably witnessed your dream walking visits with the little moose. Not something I want to see again."_

" _Why-"_

" _You're my True Vessel. Whether I intend to wear you or not is far from important, I have to keep my things orderly and you are far from that."_

" _I'm not some possession of yours."_

" _You keep telling yourself that. Now, I can't say I'm fond of it but you've forced my hand. Ellen Harvelle has contacted you. She wants your assistance on something. If you join her you_ _will_ _die. This is a fact. But since I know your self-preservation is lacking, if you join her, your brother will die and that sister you're hiding_ will _say yes to Lucifer. This is a fact."_

_Gabriel wasn't moved, didn't believe a word coming from the Archangel's mouth. The fact that the Archangel was currently wearing his face made it far too easy to tell, Michael was lying. About which part he couldn't be sure, but he was willing to roll the dice and assume it was all of it._

" _Don't lie to me while you're wearing my face."_

_Michael narrowed his eyes. "I'm not lying, Gabriel."_

" _Yes you are. It's almost convincing too. But I've been lying to myself for years."_

_After a long moment Michael spread his arms, dropping them to his side moments later. "Fine. I lied. About you and your brother. Not about your sister. You can't bring her with you."_

" _Forgive me if I don't trust you."_

" _Lucifer will stop at nothing to have her and you know the same goes for the Vessel."_

" _You-"_

" _I know your sister better than you ever will, Gabriel Novak. Believe me or don't, but if you bring her with you, you will give Lucifer one of his strongest weapons."_

" _Lucifer won't get her."_

" _Tell me how you intend on keeping him from her when you can barely keep_ _me_ _from you."_

_Gabriel didn't bother articulating a response, crossing his arms across his chest._

" _Exactly. You're risking the world by letting her out of that room. If Lucifer finds her, he finds you, and we know what he wants with you."_

" _Why do you care?"_

" _I don't. There's only one thing in existence I care about."_

" _Your Soul."_

_A smile quirked on the archangel's mouth. "So you have been paying attention."_

" _What are they like?"_

" _He's a complete bloody fool." Michael answered bluntly, "But I love him. Fell for him. Abandoned it all. Don't regret any of it."_

_Gabriel looked away, remembering their previous encounter._

" _Your angel wouldn't leave with you, would he?" The archangel asked and for a brief moment he felt something warm brush against his back, eyes widening when he realized it was Michael's wings. "I know you don't trust me, but removing her from where you hid her is a bad idea."_

"What if we kill her?" Cas suggested and Gabriel gave him a hard look. The two of them were standing outside The Panic Room. A quick glance had confirmed Dalara was still in there, though he'd also recognized from the bruising on her wrists and the change in the restraints that she'd been fighting them, and winning. "You're the one who told us she told you she can't say 'yes' as a demon."

"And if killing her doesn't bring her back as a demon?"

"Then she's dead. Gabe, I understand you like her but coming back for her was your idea. Now we have to deal with it. You saw her arms. You were right. She isn't going to stay. So we have to figure out how to bring her with us to Missouri so we can watch her."

There was a sound from the other side of the door, muffled by the gag and iron walls, but still distinctive.

"Humor her, Gabe. I'll figure something else out." Cas huffed, turning and heading upstairs. Honestly, Gabriel wasn't sure he wanted to humor her. But he relented, forcing open the door and stepping inside. Dalara had been struggling against her binds but stopped the moment the door was completely open.

"Umf." Came her articulation as she lifted her head a bit, shooting hateful daggers at him from the center of the room.

"You didn't give us much as a choice, Dal."

She glowered at him as he crossed the space, peeling back the gag from her mouth and jerking back as she spit at him.

"Fuck you, Gabriel. _Fuck you._ I'm not a fuckin' pris'ner! I'm a livin' human bein' and you ain't got no right t' hold me captive!"

"What did you expect me to do?" He snapped back, not missing a beat. "You're willing to throw away all of the world for one girl. _One very dead girl._ "

"It's 'cause Luci's _right_! She's right and ya know it ya ign'rant li'l vagrant! Ya've got that angel tailin' ya like a lost li'l puppy, right? Le's look at that. Ya know what happens when ya die fo' real? That little bird's goin' t' die. He's goin' t' die."

"And if Lucifer gets his hands on us what will happen, Dalara? Trust me. I've thought about it. About your Archangel. It was almost a good deal. Eternity with my angel, at the price of the world. Then I remembered that that isn't the right thing to do. I've lived my life for the right thing and-"

"Oh _bullshit_." The girl laughed, a slightly deranged psychotic sound that made his skin crawl. "Hunters. We're all murderers through and through. Ain't it a purty li'l picture though. Saviors o' the worl'. Guardians o' humanity. The _good_ guys. How many monsters have ya killed, Gabriella? How many-"

_Bang._

Gabriel spun around to see Cas standing there with a gun in his hand, eyes narrowed.

"What the _hell_?" Gabriel demanded of his brother.

"She was annoying me," was his brother's cold response that just pissed him off.

"That isn't an excuse to _kill people_ , Cas. What in the ever living hell is wrong with you?"

His brother pocketed the gun. "She isn't a person, Gabe. She's a monster. One of the most dangerous ones we've ever crossed. If you would pull your head out of your ass you'd recognize it."

"Aw, a brotherly moment." Gabriel turned around, half tempted to strangle the demon side of her just to get it out of his system. "You should check yourself, Blue Eyes. That Soul of your's is looking nasty." It wasn't the first time he'd seen a demon talk casually with a bullet hole in their skull though it was still slightly disturbing.

"Do you think those demon handcuffs Dean gave me are still around here?" Castiel asked, completely disregarding the question.

"No." Gabriel responded, eying the grinning demon. "Rufus borrowed them a year ago and never brought them back."

"It's getting darker, Castiel. What did you do? Kill someone else? I bet you did. How did it feel-"

Gabriel grabbed the gag and shoved it back over the demon's mouth, earning pouty black eyes from the demon which he ignored.

"She's lying." Gabriel tried, but when he turned around his brother was gone.

Despite his wishes, he knew they needed to talk. There was something seriously wrong with his brother. Ever since they'd encountered War there had been something wrong with him and if he were to guess it had to be Samael- a flood of memories followed the name and he stumbled back under the weight of them. Before he could even begin to try to pick through them he was being launched across the room.

The last thing he saw was Dalara's black eyes before he was engulfed in darkness.

.-~*~-.

Gabriel moaned, grabbing his head at the piercing pain that tore through it.

"Easy, Gabe." His brother chastised.

"What-"

"Apparently the warding wasn't prepared for her demonic half." Cas interrupted, pressing him down as he tried to sit upright. "She never left the room."

"How-"

"Loki showed up. She's contained."

"He didn't heal me."

"He hates you, remember?" His brother reminded and he sighed, shutting his eyes. "Ellen called again. I told her it would be tomorrow before we made it."

"What did you tell her when she asked?"

"That we were dealing with a demon problem. I have good news"

"Hm?" He asked, consciousness drifting from him.

"Try not to fall asleep. I think you have a concussion."

"'m fine. Talk."

"Loki was able to transfer Dean's warding from the room to the inside of her body as well as imprint a binding sigil and devil's trap into her."

"He can do that?" Gabriel asked, blinking rapidly. Fighting off the exhaustion.

"Apparently." His brother answered, a frown creasing his face that Gabriel was too tired to question.

A few hours later they were shoving a very uncooperative demon into the back of the Continental, apparently Loki had completely healed her. "There is no way that god overpowered me. This is bullshit."

"I will duct tape your mouth shut. I'm not in the mood for this." Gabriel told her as he shoved her inside the back.

"Aw, Gabriella. You sure know how to make a girl feel loved." The demon remarked, batting her eyes and he slammed the door shut.

"You really think leaving her like that is a good idea?"

In truth, he didn't. But with her out of the house this would end one of two ways anyways. Cas had claimed all of the wards were active, including the prayer blocking ones, and if that was the case then she wasn't a threat. If they weren't active, well, they were fucked anyways. "Probably not." He admitted, he'd begrudgingly recognized similarities between them. That fact was enough for him to not forcibly shut her up. Because he got mouthy when he was being held captive. And they could afford her slipping up on anything to do with Lucifer.

"If she gets too bad I'm cutting her tongue out." His brother warned as he went around to the driver's side. Sighing, Gabriel joined him in the passenger seat. This was going to be a long eight hours.

The first thing that happened was seconds after they left the Salvage Yard. Dalara began chanting words in a language that Gabriel was almost certain was Enochian. Both him and Cas held their breaths, but nothing happened. The wards worked. The angry demon began kicking at his chair, the wards making the kicks nothing more than the equivalent of a small child. Gabriel had a younger brother so it wasn't anything he wasn't used to.

Three hours in she began singing. Horribly off key. The first song was Devil in Her Heart by The Beatles, followed by others of similar themes. It was halfway through Sympathy for the Devil two hours later that he was forced to duct tape her mouth shut.

So much for his plan.

.-~*~-.

It was night when they pulled into Springfield and a phone call to Ellen later they found themselves in an old abandoned house. When they'd shoved the bag over her head Dalara had given him an all too knowing look.

"This is going to end horribly." Cas bit out unhelpfully as they dragged the handcuffed demon through the door.

"This place is cozy." He remarked loudly, ignoring the remark completely. There was no point in arguing with him about it now.

"Gabriel." Ellen greeted, coming into the living room from a kitchen. Considering the lack of hostility whatever it was that had her mind elsewhere.

"That demon is not coming past the door." She said flatly and a quick glance behind him confirmed she was trapped, a devil's trap. Why hadn't they considered that?

"We cannot leave her unattended." Castiel said bluntly and there was a shaking of Dalara's shoulders as well as a muffled sound that signified her laughter.

"He's right. She's too unpredictable. We can't risk her being alone."

"Why don't you exorcise her and be done with it?" Ellen asked suspiciously.

"Ex-lover." Gabriel butted in, looking back at Ellen. "Normally she's real laid back but since Luci popped his box she's been real aggressive."

"That's not good reasoning." She responded.

"Fine. She's Lucifer's True Vessel. Farthest from my lover. She's my sister."

Ellen stared at him for a moment, and to his complete and utter disbelief she nodded her acceptance. "Break it."

"What the hell is going on?" He demanded, trailing after her into the small kitchen where Jo was passed out on a table. At one point, he'd have allowed a moment to gawk at her. Instead he just brushed his gaze past her, watching as Ellen pulled some beers from a fridge.

"Do you remember The Devil's Gate?"

"Vaguely. What's that got to do with this?" They hadn't been around for that catastrophe though Gabriel knew she had.

"I got my hands on The Colt while there. Locked it down in The Roadhouse."

"Wait, The Colt? As in-"

"Yes. _That_ Colt." She responded, setting the beer in front of him which he took gratefully, downing a gulp of it and thinking. The Colt. The only weapon in existence that could kill everything. It was-

"Where is it?"

She smiled grimly, glancing past him as Cas guided the still bound demon to the table across from Jo, shoving her into the seat.

There was a very muffled sound that wasn't hard to guess from her.

"We lost it. When The Roadhouse burned down."

"I take it you've found it?"

"A demon has it. The King of The Crossroads." She answered, giving him a knowing look.

"I'm in shit with the demons. There's no way in Heaven or Hell I'll be able to talk my way out of death by demon. And even if I could, I'm in a thing with an angel. I'm not getting dirty with a demon just for a chance there _might_ be The Colt." Gabriel frowned at the annoyed look on her face. If it wasn't such common knowledge he might've been annoyed by her assumption. As it stood, he couldn't be. Though he really hoped her plan hadn't hinged on his willingness to fuck a demon.

"There's the other plan." Gabriel glanced over to see Jo stretching out, yawning. "Which doesn't involve exploiting Gabriel's explorative nature."

Gabriel held back a remark on that. She'd all but taken advantage of him that night, he'd been high on acid or...something. It wouldn't be fair to bring it up considering he'd let himself take the full blame for years.

"Fine." Ellen conceded far too easily. When Gabriel heard the plan he wasn't happy. At all.

.-~*~-.

"Thanks, Jo." Gabriel said quietly, dropping the demon's corpse from the bloody angel blade.

Jo huffed an annoyed breath, "Always glad to help. Good luck getting him to listen." Then Jo was headed down the street to where she'd parked her car. Cas shared an uneasy look with him as they headed towards the really nice house, shame it belonged to demons.

Leaving Dalara with Ellen hadn't been his favorite plan. At all. If one of them pulled that bag off her head they'd be pissed. Not just at him this time but at Cas and most likely Bobby. After all, she was the demon that tortured and killed Will. Even if her story was true, which Ash had implied it was, it didn't change the fact that Ellen would be far from pleased that they had her prisoner and hadn't done anything about it.

"Gabe." His brother hissed, grabbing his arm as he went to round the corner. He scowled at him but quickly realized he'd been right as seconds later two demons came walking by. It was simple enough to grab the demons and cover their mouths, running their blades through the two with ease. Were these demons stupid? Wasn't this demon supposed to be a King or something? "I don't like this." His brother said quietly, agreeing with his suspicions as they wiped their blades off on the corpses.

It was all but confirmed when they turned a corner inside the small mansion to come face to face with a smaller man in a suit, an old gun in his hand. _The Colt._ Then arms were around their shoulders and the angel blades clattered to the floor.

"This is it, right? This is what it's all about." The demon asked rhetorically as the brothers fought against the demons holding them. Then he aimed the gun and fired it off, twice, freeing both brothers and leaving then staring at the demon. "We need to talk. Privately." The demon said, eying them appraisingly as he headed down the hall. Gabriel watched the demon suspiciously as him and his brother retrieved their blades, trailing after the demon warily.

"What is this?" Gabriel asked as the demon settled into the chair.

"Do you know how deep I could have buried this thing?" He waved his hand, the door slamming shut behind them. Gabriel watched the demon closely, unable to shake a feeling of familiarity. "There's no reason you or anyone should know this even exists, except that I told you."  
"You told us." Cas said, not believing it.

"Rumors, innuendo, sent out on the grapevine." He said casually, shrugging.

"Why tell us anything?" Cas asked.

"I want you to take this thing to Lucifer and empty it into her face." The demon said bluntly, Gabriel blinked, narrowing his eyes.

"Why would you want the devil dead?" Gabriel asked.

"I don't want her dead." The demon said, honesty seeping through the words. "But it's called survival." The demon set the gun down. "I forgot you two are morons. Lucifer isn't a demon, remember? She's an Archangel. An Archangel that as of late has a hatred for humanity that rivals the size of the universe. To her, you're just filthy bags of pus. If that's the way she feels about you, what can she think about us?"

"But she created you." Cas pointed out.

Something flashed in his eyes before vanishing. "To her, we're just servants. Cannon fodder. If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we're next. So, help me, huh? Let's all go back to simpler, better times, back to when we could all follow our natures. I'm in sales, damn it! So what do you say if I give you this thing, and you go kill the devil?" The demon held the gun out and Gabriel and Cas glanced at each other, Cas' expression radiated mistrust but Gabriel was more inclined to believe him. Finally, Cas reached over and took it.

"Alright." Gabriel said slowly, looking at the gun in his brother's hand.

"You wouldn't happen to know where the devil is, by chance, would you?" Cas asked, and it was a grab that Gabriel was hoping paid off. If they could kill her…

"Thursday, birdies tell me, there's an appointment in Carthage, Missouri." The demon said.

"Okay." Cas said, then held up the gun and pulled the trigger. The silence following it was lethal and Gabriel couldn't help looking over to stare at the confused expression on his brother's face. Why was he so trigger happy? What was his _deal_? They _needed_ to talk about this. It _needed_ to happen.

"Oh, yeah, right, you'll probably need some more ammunition." The demon said calmly, rising to his feet and walking away to where a desk was.

"Excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?" Gabriel asked, because it was a serious question though he wasn't sure why.

"Number one, she's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don't miss, okay! Morons!" Gabriel jerked slightly as something was flung across the room, aimed specifically for him, and then the demon was gone.

Even as they left Gabriel couldn't shake the sense of... something.

.-~*~-.

"What is your _deal,_ Cas?" Gabriel demanded once they were settled in the car to meet up with Ellen.

"I don't know what you mean."

Gabriel stared at his brother incredulously. "This damned murder streak!"

"It's not a murder streak!" His brother defended, staring at him as though he was the one who'd lost his mind.

"Not a murder streak? So those kids in Riverpass weren't overkill? Shooting Dalara in the head wasn't overkill?" Gabriel felt sick as a dream he'd had of his brother covered from head to toe in blood manifested. "What's wrong with you, Cas? Seriously. When was the last time you spoke to Meg? When was the last time you stopped and looked at you. You're changing, bro and it's starting to freak me the fuck out."

Cas stared at him for several long moments and Gabriel was _sure_ his brother was thinking it through, however the next words out of his mouth confirmed that he was far from right. "I'm still me, Gabe. I think it's you that's changing. Ever since Sam showed up-"

Gabriel threw a punch, starting and fumbling back as his fist collided with too hard flesh.

"Cas, what-" Gabriel's breath caught in his throat as blinding white light lit up around him.

.-~*~-.

Sam talked with Akobel while they waited, it was several long hours and there was much to discuss. Sam also quickly realized Akobel was not as ignorant as he'd seemed. Akobel had deceived him during their first encounter as a test. With that information laid out the truth was shared. Akobel told him what had become of Heaven, how dreary and dangerous the atmosphere was. Everyone was itching for a fight that they were never meant to be involved in. Akobel said that 'Michael' had ordered that Gabriel Novak be retrieved and brought to Heaven for questioning, no one knew why though everyone suspected it was the Vessel issue.

"Gabriel is my Soul, Akobel. I remember you. I know your loss. If you attempt to harm him I will destroy you."

"I already know, Samuel."

"It's Sam." He corrected for the hundredth time.

"Heaven is nothing but whispers and gossip and violence now. It is not the home we once knew."

"Did we ever know the real Heaven?" Sam responded grimly.

"After Lucifer destroyed his followers, chaos erupted. Those that had considered changing sides flocked to Raphael when he promised to avenge those lied to."

"Killing Lucifer is Michael's job. Not Raphael's."

"I know." Akobel responded. "They were afraid. We all were. Lucifer had mercilessly slaughtered all of his angels and we thought he was going to strike down on Heaven next. Raphael is the only Archangel in heaven and as far as most are willing to believe, by following him, we follow Michael as well."

"I would say I don't understand how they have not realized Michael is gone but I never noticed."

"You were preoccupied, rarely recognized much past The Graveyard. You would be the last angel to recognize the corruption in Heaven."

"How long have you known?"

"I began to suspect after your garrison was dispatched to Hell. It took Lucifer's freedom to confirm it. I was there in The Early Days. Say as you will of Lucifer, Michael never wanted to kill him. If Michael could prevent freeing Lucifer he would have and there were plenty of opportunities to do so."

"You know the time before?" Sam asked longingly. He had been born afterwards. During the war. He'd never been able to experience the true naive curiosity the others had. When he'd destroyed Pluto was one of those extremely rare moments of downtime.

"Yes. I was actually a close companion with Jibril. Father help the day he learned he learned how to create animals."

"Did he truly die?" Sam asked, because all of Heaven had wondered. Just a bit.

"Yes." Akobel answered sadly. "I was there during that battle. I watched as one of Lucifer's followers destroyed him."

"That must of been painful."

"It was war." The angel responded, the answer clearly meant to keep his feelings on the subject neutral. "Did you know Lucifer never joined the war?"

"What do you mean?" Sam asked confused, memories of Lucifer's onslaught coming through and causing him to flinch slightly.

"Lucifer had only ever killed one angel until he slaughtered his followers after his release. The Archangels changed the stories to 'protect you'. Only a few of us knew." His Grace rippled, aching slightly at the information. He never should have killed Lilith. "Look."

Sam looked up to see Dean walking down the street, covered in mud and a scowl on his face that turned to a purely angry look when he saw Sam in the car with Akobel. Sam pushed open his door, climbing out as Akobel flew to his side, Dean glowered from across the road, hostility rolling off him in waves.

"Who are you?" Dean demanded once he was close enough, his hand tucked into his jacket pocket. Akobel held his hands out at his sides.

"Akobel." The angel greeted.

"Sam, what the hell? You don't just let random angels into Baby!"

Sam blinked. "I...what?"

Dean ignored his confusion, shifting his focus to Akobel. "What are you doing here? I told you all that I would never take over as God. Things haven't changed. If anything. They're more cementified. I'm. Not. Your. Father." So Akobel was one of the old Debriel loyalists. That explained his willingness to cooperate.

"I know that, Debriel." Akobel answered calmly. "I am not seeking a father figure. I am looking for an Archangel to stand behind that stands for the protection of humanity. That stands for the one thing we can guarantee. Raphael and Lucifer cannot give us our Souls. Michael abandoned us. You are trying to stop it. Protect the human race."

Dean scowled. "Not trying to protect the human race. Trying to spite Father."

"You cannot lie to me, Debriel. I've known you far too long."

"Stop calling me Debriel. I'm Dean. Or Artemis. Not Debriel." Dean snapped back.

"You joined the Pagans?"

"Is that an issue?"

"I heard other angels did that is all." Akobel corrected, the conversation made Sam feel exceptionally young. Listening to an angel so confidently stand against Dean's words without being hostile. It made his Grace coil in on itself.

"Alright then. Congrats, Sammy. You brought one of God's judges onto the Anti-Apocalypse team." Dean paused, expression lighting with an idea. "I have a plan. Everyone into Baby. You tear the upholstery, Bel, I will end you."

The other angel huffed a laugh as they piled into the back.

"He's being serious."

"I believe you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact. Gabriel is omnisexual with a preference for bottoming no matter who, or what, he is with (as Dean briefly mentioned). However, due to his encounter with those women when he was sixteen he tends to lean towards males before females. I know this is random, was just on my mind.


	14. 13: What Is and What Should Never Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys. I finished the epilogue for this story. I'm really bad about that. But with an ending I can finish the rest. Warning, this chapter will probably be confusing. Bear with it.
> 
> I took a bunch of this chapter directly from the transcript for Abandon All Hope[S5Ep10].

" _Samael, you can't do this to us. Please."_

_Silence. Always silence. Samael never answered him. Castiel was certain the Archangel didn't understand him. But he had to try. He had to ask. This was wrong. It was horrifying._

" _Please."_

.-~*~-.

"She's asleep." Ellen told Gabriel, jerking a thumb towards the abandoned bedroom. "You get it?"

"Yeah." Gabriel answered, placing The Colt on the table.

Ellen whistled, lifting the gun and inspecting it as Dalara strolled in after him, throwing her arm over his shoulder.

"Li'l bro handled Dick o' the Crossroads li'e a pro."

"Oh fuck off, Dally."

"No need." She responded easily. "I go' Joey in the otha room all up in arms fo' me. Now if y'all'll excuse me…"

"No. Absolutely not." Ellen bit out, stepping in the way as Dalara tried to pass her to the room where her girlfriend slept. "I'm allowing it but the two of you ain't flaunting it with me in the room."

"Momma bear ain't no fun."

"Forgive me if I don't like my daughter screwing around with the woman that killed my husband."

Dalara huffed a breath. "Was a demon at the time. 'sides. Fucker earned wha' 'e got an' more. Move. If I can't get down an' dir'y I'm goin' t' cuddle up wit' my little lioness."

Ellen nodded once sharply before letting Dalara past. Gabriel watched his sister go, shaking his head. Something felt...off though he could place what. A different off than The King of The Crossroads had emitted. Something he couldn't place but that left a horrible sick feeling in his gut.

"So things went well with him?"

"Great. Apparently he doesn't want The Apocalypse so he handed it over to us without a fight. Wasn't even a jab at Dal about her demonic portion." Gabriel's smile didn't reach his eyes though. Something about his sister's push towards where Lucifer would be rang wrong.

"She's going to break Jo's heart." Ellen suddenly said and Gabriel felt a stab of sympathy for the woman, even if the relationship between Jo and Dal wasn't screwed enough, it was clear that over the last several years Jo had fallen for his sister. Which, considering she'd gone to Hell for Lilly and become a half demon, was likely never going to be reciprocated. Dalara would string her along until she got bored of her.

"If it's any consolation, it's not me."

"I think I'd prefer you. At least you're human."

"She's human...most the time. If-when she lets your daughter down, she'll be gentle."

"She used to show up at The Roadhouse with her guts half hanging out. That girl doesn't _do_ gentle."

"Sure she does. I've seen her with your daughter, not like that." Well, he had walked in on them -and others- more than once because Dal was a little exhibitionist brat, but best not to bring that up. "Dal adores her. Even if it's just as a friend with benefits."

"You're not helping."

"Listen." Gabriel said, Ellen eyed him suspiciously before delving into silence. There was quiet humming coming from the other room, Lean on Me. Ellen gave him a look that said she believed they'd conspired against her. "No. When I met her I was still haunted by nightmares. Everything from growing up and dad's obsession. The things that I did...well when she started staying with me she'd sing at night. Hum. Whatever she felt like. I thought she did it for her benefit but she was doing it for me. She'd realized it helped me sleep. She hates singing unless she's being annoying."

"You're saying she's keeping Jo's nightmares at bay?"

"I don't know if it helps her. Maybe. My point is my sister would never subject herself to something she doesn't enjoy unless she cared."

"You've been around that angel of your's too much. You're talking like him." Gabriel rolled his eyes, looking back at The Colt.

"That demon said Luci would be in Carthage on Thursday."

"Thursday." She repeated as they stared at the gun in silence. "Will you be able to get help from that angel of yours?"

"Sam's off with Dean getting the asshole's Grace back. I'm not risking giving him an excuse to back out on putting it in." Something itched at his mind at the mention of Dean. Something important…

"I'm just saying. We're going to face off with the devil. Might do some good to have angel backup."

"Sam's no good for a fight right now. Sorry, Ellen. We're alone in this."

"We've beat better odds." She finally said, taking the gun from the table.

"You've beat better odds. I just helped end the world."

She smiled at him before turning and leaving the room, no doubt to lay down.

Gabriel bit hard on his cheek before taking his phone out, thumbing through contacts and pausing on 'C. Asstiel'. Who was that? He frowned at his contact list before tapping the name and pressing the phone to his ear.

" _We're sorry; you have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again._ " Gabriel pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it. That was really weird. And was he... crying? He reached up, wiping at his eye and pulling his hand away to stare at… blood? Was he crying blood? He rubbed his eyes, shaking his head, before quickly dialing Sam's number, trying hard not to think on what bleeding from the eyes meant.

" _The number you have-_ "

" _Give me my phone, Dean!_ " Sam's voice demanded from the background.

" _I thought you were asleep_." Dean defended though it was far from believable.

A few seconds later Sam's voice came through. "Hello, Gabriel."

"Hey, Sammy. So listen. I need to talk to you... there's…" Gabriel trailed off, throat closing slightly. "I need to see you. Where are you?" He had time. It was only Tuesday. He had time.

"We're in California. What's wrong?" Sam sounded so concerned. So damned concerned. _California._ He might've laughed. Almost did. He didn't have time to drive to Cali and make it back by Thursday. _Dammit._

"I need to see you. Can Dean try to Pagan me there? Please. I need to see you."

"Hold on." Sam said after a moment, words uneasy. Gabriel waited for several moments before Sam's voice came over the line again. "Where exactly are you?"

"Springfield, Missouri." He answered then spun around at the fluttering of wings. For a moment he hoped, just a moment, then that hope was gone as an unfamiliar man who looked like he'd stepped out of the early nineteen hundreds. Before he could react to the arrival a hand was on his shoulder and he was being flown.

.-~*~-.

" _Samael." A brush from the Archangel against him, acknowledging his existence._

" _Will protect you."_

" _You need to let me go. Please, Samael."_

" _Will keep you safe."_

" _Listen to me."_

" _Do not understand." The Archangel responded, words brushing across the space between them._

.-~*~-.

Gabriel threw himself into Sam's arms the moment they landed before turning around, acting as a barrier between the two angels. The angel narrowed eyes at him, expression saying 'do you honestly expect to appear as a threat to me?'

"Gabriel, wait." Sam placed an arm on his shoulder. "This is Akobel."

"That doesn't explain anything."

"I am not a threat. If I were, I would have taken you to Raphael rather than bring you to Samuel."

"That isn't comforting. I thought we didn't trust Heaven anymore, Sammy." Gabriel shifted slightly as Sam stepped up next to him.

"He's going to help us retrieve Dean's Grace."

"Relax, Gabriel." Dean came through the motel door with a bag in hand. "Akobel is a Debriel loyalist, and even if he wasn't, angels as old as him would never risk harming another angel's Soul. They remember Lucifer before his Fall." The Archangel turned god dropped the bag by the door. "What're you doing here?"

"I wanted to get down and dirty with your baby bro." He answered and Dean made an annoyed sound.

"I know enough to know that's crap. My guess is you're about to do something incredibly stupid."

Gabriel shot him a glare as Sam moved a concerned gaze to him. "What happened?" Sam demanded and he bit his cheek before pulling the angel towards the door. Reluctantly, Sam followed him out, walking right into him when Gabriel stopped outside the door.

_Holy shit._

"Why are we in LA?" Gabriel asked, feeling like an idiot as soon as the words left his mouth.

"There's an earthbound access point to Heaven here. Don't change the subject."

"Right." He cleared his throat, peeling his gaze away from the city and turning to face his angel, hazel eyes bored down into him and he felt almost sick. How did one tell their angel boyfriend they were about to face up against Lucifer? The same Lucifer that had spent nearly a thousand years torturing said boyfriend?

_Fuck._

"We might've found another way to deal with Luci." He blurted and his angel stiffened slightly.

"How?"

"It's a spell." He lied. "You do it on a True Vessel and it binds the Archangel's Grace."

"That sounds…"

"Trust me on this, Sam. Please." Gabriel couldn't bear the doubt in his voice. If he had to listen to the objections then he would tell the truth. But he couldn't tell the truth. Sam couldn't know that he was facing off against Lucifer directly.

"If you die…"

"I can't stay dead, remember? Besides, if you succeed with Dean then it won't be a problem. You can easily pull me out of Heaven."

"I don't like this. I should-"

"Trust me." Gabriel all but begged and Sam gave him a long look before nodding, pulling him into a gentle kiss. There was a whistle from down the street that he blatantly ignored as he stepped into his angel's embrace.

.-~*~-.

" _What are we doing?" Castiel asked as they landed in a large field. Samael brushed his Grace against Castiel's consciousness before kneeling in the grass. They looked upon the ground as symbols began appearing in the grass. Symbols that were faintly familiar though he couldn't place why...unless… Castiel blinked when he realized it was Enochian. Samael was writing in Enochian._

" _I don't know Enochian, Samael. I never learned it." The angel shifted, frustration flashing across his Grace as they took flight again._

_Castiel was almost afraid to find out where they were going next._

.-~*~-.

Gabriel checked the clock when he woke up in the motel room Sam had procured for them the night before. It was just past seven am and he had four missed calls from Dalara along with a chunk of texts. The last read

Demon Sister: _if you aren't with Sam I'm going to kill you. Might anyway for ditching me with psycho mom_.

Gabriel: _I'm fine. In LA. Will see you later._

Demon Sister: _Bring Me cake.!_

Gabriel rolled his eyes, rolling over to see Sam staring silently at the ceiling.

"Something on your mind?" He asked, curling into his angel's side.

"Dread." Sam responded. "I feel like something is wrong."

Gabriel frowned, because he felt the same. Like something majorly important was wrong but he couldn't place _what_ it was.

"Any idea what?" Gabriel asked, curling closer to his side and humming contently when Sam wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"I don't know." Sam answered, shaking his head slightly. "But I don't like it. There's far too much going on to be dreading something unknown. "

"If it was important we'd have an idea of what it was. I'm sure it's nothing." He reassured, though the reassurance didn't carry through nearly as strongly as he tried for.

"I just…" Sam sighed heavily. "Ever since I broke Naomi's blocks I have been able to recollect everything in graphic detail. Feeling like I'm forgetting something... it's…"

Gabriel shifted, pushing himself up and straddling his angel's stomach. "We'll figure it out." He promised, leaning down and kissing him, they kissed until Gabriel had to breathe.

"I love you." He whispered, brushing his lips against his angel's. "We'll figure it out. I promise."

.-~*~-.

" _What are we doing?" Castiel asked, watching with grudgingly admitted curiosity as they walked through a jungle. Castiel wasn't sure where they were, but it was damp and lively. "Samael."_

" _You are safe."_

" _I don't care about being safe!" Castiel snapped, so tired of hearing those words. Of being reassured of his safety. That was all Samael ever did. Reassure him. Comfort him._

" _I will protect you." They needed a means of communication because this one sided stuff was pure misery. He needed to get back to his brother._

_How the hell had Samael possessed him and why hadn't he realized it sooner?_

.-~*~-.

Gabriel landed back in the abandoned house close to midnight on Wednesday, and what a sight to behold it was. Ellen was missing and a half naked Dalara was in the midst of giving Jo a lap dance while Poker Face by Lady Gaga blared over the radio in the corner.

"Dal!" He shouted, shielding his eyes and nearly dropping the box.

Jo squealed from the chair and Gabriel could practically see her blush, "Is that cake?" His sister asked suddenly, as usual far too comfortable with the situation. He did not need to see his sister and…

"Yes." He said, uncovering his eyes as the box was pulled from his hand. Jo was at least modest enough to pull her T-shirt back on before joining Dalara in the kitchen for the cake.

"Can you please put some clothes on?"

"You're m' brother and she's m' lover. I'll wear clothes when we're dead."

Gabriel rolled his eyes, pushing past her and opening the fridge, grabbing a beer and moving to shut the blaring radio off. "Why do you like her again, Jo?"

"She's a good lay." The blonde responded and Gabriel shook his head.

"What the hell are you two even doing?"

"Mom's out drinking her troubles away." Jo answered as he grabbed the cake slice Dal had just cut with his hand, shoving a bite into his mouth.

"Thought ya got this fo' me." She objected, pouting childishly.

"I got it for us, Dally. Man up with your Avengers underroos."

"Don't think I didn't notice ya checkin' Tony out, Gabriella."

"Where the hell did you even get those?"

"Nephi hunt took m' ass eight years into tha future. Nex brough' me back li'e the lovin' cunt she was. 'Fore ya ask. Diff'rent universe. Ain't got nothin' on our world."

"I figured as much or you would've known not to listen to Nex." He responded. "I'm going to sleep. Keep it down."

"So soon, Gabe? Did Sammy keep ya up all night?"

"And day. We went sightseeing around LA."

"Mhm." She responded disbelieving.

"Eat your cake, Dally. We're probably all dying tomorrow."

"Probably." Dalara agreed absently as he made his way to the spare bedroom.

.-~*~-.

_Castiel would never admit how fascinated he was watching Samael dissect the pink dolphin they stumbled onto while traveling through the Amazon._

_He also would never admit to catching himself enjoying the screams of a jaguar they gave a vivisection._

" _Samael, please." He whispered, unsure why he thought asking again would change anything. Unsure what he was asking for._

.-~*~-.

The next day Gabriel, Dalara, Ellen, and Jo were riding into Carthage. It was deadly silent, the streets empty and similar to Riverpass when War struck but the atmosphere more deadly. Gabriel eyed some missing posters as Dal pulled over, the SUV behind them dragging to a stop.

"This is bad." She said softly as she shoved the Continental's door open, "Hey! Reapers!" She waved her hand in front of empty air and Gabriel quickly climbed out. "The hell's goin' on?" She demanded, huffing out a breath of annoyance as she sidestepped the car.

"Place seem a little empty to you?" Ellen asked as she came up, Jo trailing close behind.

"It's no' empty. Filled t' the brim with reapers. Assholes! Talk to us!" She swiped her hand through the air agitatedly.

"Should we be concerned that you're seeing reapers, Dally?" Gabriel asked cautiously.

"No. We're close to Luci. I can feel 'er." Dalara looked past him, "No splittin' up. It's likely t' get us killed."

"Alright." Jo agreed, and Gabriel nodded absently, wondering what she was seeing that had he on edge. How bad was it?

They all wandered for a long time through the town, holding their weapons carefully. Gabriel felt The Colt burning against his hip, a reminder of why they were there.

To kill the devil.

Gabriel froze at a voice that pierced the air, all too familiar and impossible at the same moment.

"Found you." Gabriel spun on his heels to see a hauntingly familiar little girl standing there, head tilted to the side and an innocent smile on her face. Arbor. What the hell?

"How-"

"Run!" Dalara shouted, grabbing his arm and pulling hard. Snarling filled the air and his blood ran cold. _Hellhounds_.

They all ran, tearing off down the road in a panic.

"You shouldn't have come here!" Came Arbor's singsong voice as claws clattered against the ground behind them. Arbor. What was Arbor doing with Lucifer? She was supposed to be under Loki's protection.

Gabriel cried out when a heavy weight landed on his back, he ducked his head inward reflexively in hopes of dodging teeth but it was a pointless move as seconds later a gunshot rang out over his head and hands were on his shoulders, pulling him to his feet as gunshots continued firing off.

He stumbled forward, struggling to pull his gun from his belt.

Jo screamed.

Gabriel turned to see Jo fall back, he wasted no time shooting off The Colt, landing a bullet in the hellhound's head as a shaking Dalara threw herself to the ground, grabbing Jo under the shoulders and lifting her to her feet. He fired off two more shots at hellhounds as he joined his sister, helping carry Jo. He tried. He tried so hard. But he had to look. He had to see. And after seeing Dalara show up with her guts hanging out of her so many times in his life it shouldn't have been near as disturbing as it was to see her holding her stomach, sobbing weakly at the sharp movements.

They should have suspected.

Ellen slammed the door and barred it off as him and Dalara settled a shaking Jo against the counter, Dalara knelt half over her, pressing her hands against the wounds and shaking violently.

"No, no, no. Fuck. No." Dalara was muttering incoherently as Ellen joined her daughter's side, glaring violently at Dalara.

"Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, breathe now." Ellen chanted, taking her daughter's hand. "Fix her, Dalara. You can fix her."

"Not anymore." Dalara whispered, shuddering slightly. "Fuck. Luci cut my Hell connection off. I can't. Oh, Jo…"

Gabriel left them, grabbing his phone from his pocket only to realize there was no signal.

It took a bit of time but they managed to bandage her up and Dalara managed to wire together a radio. She was pale and didn't speak a word, refused to help patch Jo up.

"Got it." She finally said, pressing a button and speaking into a receiver. "K C 5 Fox Delta Oscar, come in. C'mon. Please tell us y'u're home, Bobby."

"K C 5 Fox Delta Oscar, go ahead." Bobby's voice bled with concern.

"It's Gabe, Bobby. We've got a problem."

"I'd say if you're calling me over a radio. Talk to me, boy."

"It's... Bobby, it's Jo." Gabriel flicked his gaze to see that Dal had carefully masked her expression. "It's bad." He added. "There were... hellhounds and…" A glance towards Jo left him feeling sick to his stomach. She was so pale.

"Okay. Copy that. So now we figure out what you do next. Where are you and what are you doing there?"

"Bobby, I don't think she's…" His voice cracked.

"We're in Carthage. Help from home, Bobby. We've got The Colt and are killin' the devil tonight."

"You're doing _what_?"

"Killin' Luci 'fore she 'stroys the planet."

"Please tell me you at least brought Dean or Sam with you?"

"They're about to break into Heaven." Gabriel admitted, wincing at the chastising tone in his adoptive father's voice.

"You two are the biggest idjits on the face of this planet."

"Save the lectures for later, Bobby. I know we're idiots. Jo's dying."

"She ain't dyin'." Dal snapped, shooting him a venomous look.

Gabriel closed his eyes, turning his head away because he couldn't deal with the emotion in his sister. She didn't do emotional.

"Talk to me, boy." Bobby said from the other line, completely disregarding Dal.

So Gabriel explained the situation. Explained it all. There was a moment of silence before he asked, "How many reapers?

"A lot. Does the number matter?" Dalara asked, glancing past him at nothing, or what was probably a reaper.

"Devil's in the details, Dal."

"I've been seein' them everywhere since we got in town. I'd say at least a hundred so far. They're everywhere." Gabriel shot a disturbed look at his sister. That many reapers?

"I don't like the sound of that." Bobby said, the sound of a page crinkling carrying over the line.

"Nobody likes the sound of that, Bobby, but... what does that sound like?" Gabriel asked as Ellen came up next to him, looking exhausted and covered in blood.

"It sounds like Death, son. I think Satan's in town to work a ritual. I think he's planning to unleash Death."

"You mean, like, as in this dude and taxes are the only sure things?" Gabriel shared a look of discomfort with Dal, they both knew better. It wasn't that simple. It was never that simple.

"As in Death. The horseman. The pale rider in the flesh." That still didn't make sense. How could Death be... imprisoned or whatever?

"Unleash? I mean, hasn't Death been tromping all over the place? Hell, I've died several times myself."

"And I used to die at least once a week." Dalara felt the need to point out.

"Not this guy. This is... this is The Angel of Death. Big daddy reaper. They keep this guy chained in a box six hundred feet under. Last time they hauled him up, Noah was building a boat. That's why the place is crawling with reapers. They're waiting on the big boss to show."

"You have any other good news?" Gabriel asked sarcastically.

"In a manner of speaking." Bobby answered and Gabriel heard what sounded like a book closing. "Before the whole hunter business I'd read about battles in the US. The Angel of Death must be brought into this world at midnight through a place of awful carnage. Now, back during the Civil War, there was a battle in Carthage. A battle so intense the soldiers called it the Battle of Hellhole."

"Where'd the massacre go down?" Gabriel asked hopefully.

"On the land of William Jasper's farm." Bobby answered.

.-~*~-.

" _Samael." The archangel paused in its ministrations on the jaguar, brushing against his consciousness. After a moment of consideration he thought of his brother, his face, his stupid annoying laugh. He tried to get the message across. He needed back to his brother. He couldn't keep doing this. Immediately the archangel responded with Gabriel punching them, his fearful expression._

" _Protecting you."_

_It was communication. Actual communication. Castiel shared past fights between them, arguments, trying to convey, 'it happens.' But either Samael didn't understand or he didn't care._

_Then they were flying again._

.-~*~-.

"That's my girl, you're okay, honey…" Gabriel watched Ellen lean over her daughter who was looking worse and worse. Gabriel already knew, even if he was humoring Dal, he knew.

"Now we know where she's going to be, we know when, and we have The Colt."

"Yeah. Now we just gotta get past nine hellhounds and to that farmhouse 'fore midnight. And that's after we get Jo and Ellen the hell outta of town."  
Gabriel glanced at Jo who met his gaze. She knew.

"It won't be easy." Gabriel agreed with his sister, just to avoid an argument.

"Stretcher?" She suggested.

"I'll see what we got." Gabriel agreed solemnly before heading into the store.

"Stop. Guys, stop." Jo ordered and his heart sank as he stopped, turning to look at the girl. Dalara was frozen in place. "Can we, uh, be realistic about this, please?" Quietly Gabriel walked over to Jo, grabbing Dal by her arm and dragging her with him. "I can't move my legs. I can't be moved. My guts are being held in by an ace bandage. We gotta... we gotta get our priorities straight here." Dal gave him a look, it begged him to side with her. "Number one, I'm not going anywhere."

"Joanna Beth, you stop talking like that." Ellen ordered, tone panicked.

"Mom. I can't fight. I can't walk. But I can do something. We got propane, wiring, rock salt, iron nails, everything we need." Jo said softly, spreading her hands to show the wound on her stomach.

"Everything we need?" Gabriel asked, because neither of the other two seemed inclined to.

"To build a bomb, Gabe." Gabriel's heart sank.

"No. Jo, no." Dalara dropped to her knees, taking the other girl's hand.

"You got another plan? You got any other plan? Those are hellhounds out there, Dal. They've got all of our scents. Those bitches will never stop coming after you. We let the dogs in, you guys hit the roof, make a break for the building next over. I can wait here with my finger on the button, rip those mutts a new one. Or at least get you a few minutes' head start, anyway."

"No, I... I won't let you." Ellen said desperately as Gabriel glanced over his shoulder towards the door. Ellen was crying now. He didn't even want to look at Ellen. He couldn't.

"This is why we're here, right?" Jo asked. "I'm sorry, Dal."

Gabriel looked back to see Ellen shaking her head, Dal had pulled the other girl's hand to her mouth and was holding it between both hands.

"If I can get us a shot on the devil… we have to take it."

"No!" Ellen. This would be another death dropped on them. Another thing she'd never forgive them for. Even if Will had deserved it. "That's not…"

"Mom. This might literally be your last chance to treat me like an adult. Might wanna take it?" Gabriel met the girl's gaze, remembered their first encounter, how young she'd been. The fuckup that had almost ruined his relationship with their family.

"You heard her. Get to work." Ellen whispered.

"Go, Dal." Dalara rose to her feet slowly and met Gabriel's gaze with hostility as they began going through and gathering materials for the makeshift bombs. Dal had almost no trouble setting the weapons up, Nex had taught her during her time working for Hell.

"Okay, this is it. I'll see you on the other side. Probably sooner than later." Ellen told her daughter, voice shaky.

"Make it later." Jo told her mom as Dal gave her the trigger for the bomb, kissing the other girl gently. "You know I love you right, Dal?"

"You're one of the only friends I've ever had." Dalara responded, Jo nodded once as Dal rose to her feet. Gabriel put an arm over his sister's shoulder as she leaned into his side and Ellen sat next to Jo. There was a moment of silence then a look of realization crossed Jo's face.

"Mom, no." Jo said suddenly.

"Somebody's gotta let them in. Like you said, you're not moving. You got me, Jo. And you're right, this is important." Jo's expression broke and she nodded. "I will not leave you here alone. Get going now." Ellen told them, moving her attention to them.

"Ellen…" Gabriel tried. It was pointless. She was right.

"I said go." She ordered. Dal moved from under his arm and made her way towards the door. Reluctantly Gabriel followed. "And Gabe?" Gabriel looked back, meeting Ellen's gaze. "Kick it in the ass. Don't miss." Gabriel smiled slightly and nodded, heading for their exit.

.-~*~-.

_Castiel struggled against Samael's control as they watched the hellhounds pace outside the hardware store._

" _We have to help them! Samael, please!"_

.-~*~-.

Gabriel and Dal snuck through the bushes, the sound of that building blowing up still ringing in his ears. There were people gathered around a hole in the ground where a very small figure stood, a child.

"Guess we know what happened to some of the townspeople." Gabriel remarked meekly as they inched closer.

"Okay." Dal said quietly.

"Okay." Gabriel agreed after a moment.

"Last words?"

Gabriel considered it before shaking his head. "I think I'm good." _I love you, Sammy._ He prayed silently though he was positive at this point that Lucifer had warded the city against prayer.

"Me too." Dal agreed softly.

"Here goes nothing."

"Hey!" Dal shouted, coming out of her spot, waving her angel blade like a madman. Lucifer turned and Gabriel froze, staring at her. _How?_ That wasn't possible. She _couldn't_ be possessing her. And yet…

_At the front of the gathered crowd of children stood a hauntingly familiar child, standing on a large platform. Familiar because she had the same hair as him, her facial structure too similar not to be his child._

Lucifer was wearing her. Wearing his daughter. Of all of the... she was _dead._

"You wanted t' see me?" Dal asked innocently and Lucifer's expression twisted to confusion.

"Dalara, you don't need that blade here. You know I'd never hurt you. Not really." Gabriel forced himself to focus as he crept around, holding The Colt tight. "It appears you're free." She added and something bit at him. Dread. Something was wron _g._

"What are you talking about?"

"Those brothers of course." She tilted her head, tsking. "Something nasty has been messing with your head, Dalara. Not Debriel. If it was Michael I would be affected. Samael? You here, darling girl? You're not supposed to touch other Archangels' True Vessels." Samael. Then it hit him and his body went rigid. _Shit shit shit._

Without a thought Gabriel drew up the gun and fired it at Lucifer, praying to Sam for him to send Akobel to them. Before Dalara remembered. They'd just hand delivered Lucifer's True Vessel to her.

Akobel didn't come.

Lucifer collapsed to the ground and Gabriel glanced at his sister then back at the Archangel. Had they done it? Why had he panicked? Then Lucifer took a sharp breath, rising to her feet.

"Owww…" She moaned, rubbing her skull. "I didn't think you had it in you, Gabriel." Dal took a step back, horror etched into her expression. "Where did you get that?" She asked him, flicking her wrist and sending him flying.

.-~*~-.

Castiel fought against Samael with all his might, watching as Lucifer flung his brother.

" _Samael. Please. Help them. We have to help them."_

"Don't feel too bad. There's only five things in all of creation that that gun can't kill, and I just happen to be one of them. But if you give me a minute, I'm almost done." Lucifer picked the shovel back up, "Sister, you aren't as stealthy as you think you are." Lucifer added a few words in a different language and Samael bristled, their wings fluffing out. "Did Raphael destroy your language barriers, little one? It's a shame really. I imagine that must be torture for you, Castiel. Confined to your body and unable to communicate? That's almost better than anything I'll ever do to big bro."

" _Samael. Please."_ He begged, sending images of his brother. Trying to get him to understand.

"Who're you talkin' t'?" Dalara demanded.

"Your brother's brother and Samael of course. Not that you would remember. The little one took initiative and wiped him from existence. Changed time, to an extent. But she can't do it to Archangels. She's too weak."

" _Samael."_

Samael spread her wings.

"Don't, Sister." Lucifer warned, shooting a sharp glare in their direction, following the words with that other language.

"Protection." Samael bit out, speaking through their mouth for the first time since they'd begun sharing a body.

Then she shifted reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those that didn't understand this chapter. After Gabriel attacked Cas in the last chapter, Samael stepped in to protect him. She has been possessing Cas (I won't say how long, leave it to you to figure it out, I did hint at it) and through this entire chapter Castiel didn't exist in their memories so to compensate time rewrote itself to an extent. Dal still went to Hell and lost Lilly and all that but she met Gabe sooner and Ellen and Jo were more involved in their lives. Due to the impact the others had she's more sympathetic towards humanity and didn't want to say "yes". Everything was generally the same, Cas just wasn't there. Lucifer is possessing Gabriel's daughter from the first story, which should be explained before the end.
> 
> Also, Dal and Jo, the love story I never knew I wanted.
> 
> Comments motivate me to write more!


	15. 14: Archangels, Archangels Everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fine. You caught me." He spread his hands to the sides. "What are you going to do to me, _Brother_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Samael's pronouns are a mess. That's admittedly a mistake. I call her a her because when I created her she was a she, that's what the angels know her as. However, when I started doing her visits with Cas I somehow ended up calling her a him, thus Cas now calls her a him(though I occasionally slip up when writing Cas' perspective). As already explained angels didn't have genders at the beginning anyway. They were all 'brothers' in arms, male, and as far as Dean's concerned there are no female angels. Forgive me for pronoun confusion?

Gabriel tumbled out of bed, gasping for breath and remembering. Remembering two completely separate things. _Two different timelines._ His mind supplied as he fought through memories of his sister, a lot of time with his sister, _Jo's death._

 _Castiel_. "Cas!" He shouted, jerking his attention around the room, freezing at the sight of Dalara in the corner, knees to her chest and a vacant expression on her face. Her wrists and ankles were bound together with handcuffs, a chain connected to them and latched to a hook in the wall. Gabriel paused, memories warring with each other. A reality where they were close siblings. A reality where he didn't have a baby brother. And a reality where Dal was the enemy. Ready to let Lucifer destroy the world.

"He's possessed. Y'ur brother. He's go' Samael in 'im."

Gabriel swallowed heavily, distinctly remembering the sight of his brother with glowing white eyes before…

"Don' push too hard, Gabriella. It hurts. Rememberin'."

"Are-"

"I was righ' there. Could've said 'yes'."

"You didn't."

"I wanted t'."

Wings fluttered and Gabriel turned around, stepping back when he realized it was...Samael. Not his brother.

"Protection." He said and Gabriel flinched back because that wasn't his brother's voice. Sure, it was the same voice, but it _wasn't_ his brother. Why the hell had Cas said 'yes'? _Why_? When?

A white glow came from his brother's eyes and he collapsed to the floor, gasping for breath and shuddering violently. "Gabe." His brother whispered and he was moving, dropping to his knees.

"What the hell, Cas? What the-"

"I'm sorry. I...Gabe, listen to me." His brother shook his head, shifting to his feet and glancing past him. "I know. I know you're pissed. But you can't tell anyone. Not Dean, not Sam. You _can't_ tell them."

"You're possessed, Cas. Are you kidding me?"

"I know I'm possessed. Do you think I didn't know?"

"Why the hell did you let her possess you? When? Why? What the fuck, Cas?"

"I don't remember when. I know it sounds crazy-"

"It _is_ crazy, Cas. You're losing your fucking mind."

"He's a _kid_ , Gabe."

"She's a fucking archangel."

Cas shot him a withering glare. "I know what he is. He's a _kid_. Innocent."

"Except for all those innocents she slaughtered. I'm-"

"If you call Dean he'll wipe your memories of me again. That's the one skill he's perfected. Making people forget things. Please, Gabe. Trust me."

"You've got an archangel riding around in the passenger seat and you want me to trust you."

"Call Jo." His brother said suddenly and he stiffened, of course he didn't know…

"Cas, she-"

"Call. Jo. I know what you think. _Call her._ " Gabriel swallowed heavily and pulled his phone from his pocket, watching his brother closely. After a moment he looked away and dialed the number.

Then he waited.

"Hello?" A groggy voice asked and his throat closed, eyes widening.

"Jo?" He asked and she yawned, making a pained sound.

"Gabe? I've been trying to call you! I...I was dead. That reaper...then there was a white light and I woke up in a hospital. What the hell happened?"

"What do you remember?"

There was a pause on the other line. "The hellhounds. You and Cas-"

"Cas wasn't there." Except he was. A sharp pain ripped through his skull like someone shoved a white hot iron through his eye. He dropped the phone, grabbing the sides of his head.

Cas had been there. And he hadn't. Two memories warred for dominance. One where Cas was with him, one where Dal was with him. Which was real? Did it matter? Either way they'd failed. Lucifer was still walking around.

Gabriel struggled to pick his phone up off the ground, brushing Cas off as he tried to check on him.

"She'll only remember our line. The one with us." Cas told him quietly. Why did they remember? Dalara clearly remembered.

"Sorry. I'm fine." He lied, "Just… A headache. Are you okay?"

"My insides are insides again."

"Where's your mom?"

A pause then a quiet answer. "Gone. Doctors said she came in with me but… she didn't survive the burns." Gabriel paused, taking a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry, Jo."

"It's the life." Came the quiet reply.

"Where are you at?"

"England." Jo laughed shakily at her own answer. "I'm in England." Gabriel shot his brother a disturbed look.

"England."

"Sorry." Cas apologized, though he was pretty sure that would be Samael's fault and not his brother.

"I... no, it's fine. It's good." She cleared her throat. "I'll pray to Sam when I'm ready to go, right?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I promise, Gabe."

"Call me if you need me." Gabriel was envious of her. Of her escape. She'd gotten out. Away. Maybe Ellen was dead, but Jo had an escape.

"I will. Gabe... did you kill him? Lucifer?"

Gabriel swallowed. "No. I'm sorry, Jo."

Silence.

"We'll figure something out. I promise."

"I'll keep an ear out." She answered before the line dead. Gabriel could hear the tears in her voice though. Her mom had died for nothing. She'd nearly died for nothing. And now Death was free.

"Ellen died." Yeah, Jo was alive. But Ellen wasn't. It didn't make sense.

"I know, Gabe. But Jo lived."

"Why didn't she heal her?"

"From my understanding, Samael-"

"His angel's broken." Dalara interrupted with a laugh. "'member? Raphael held 'er captive for most 'er life."

"How do you know that?" Cas demanded.

"Luci told me." Dalara answered simply.

"What else do you know?"

"Not much. Somethin' 'bout her language centers bein' blocked. You can't communicate can ya?"

"No." Cas answered simply, averting his gaze. "He only speaks Enochian. Either he can't or won't learn English so it has been like talking to a brick wall."

"Or she's another dickbag archangel." Dalara suggested.

"If she's going-"

"He's not going to hurt humanity. And he's not a dick." Cas corrected. "Gabe, please trust me."

"I can't keep this from Sam. I _can't._ "

"You have to, Gabe. Please. Trust me." His brother gave him his best puppy dog eyes. It nowhere near matched Sam's but it was enough.

"I won't lie to him. I won't tell him but I won't lie if he becomes suspicious. You hear that, Samael? If you so much as hurt my brother I will kill you."

Something flashed in Cas' eyes. "He showed me...a memory of us hugging. The emotions were positive."

"She really can't talk?"

"He knows a few English words. Things revolving around protecting me and keeping me safe. I guess he knew how to ask for my 'yes' though I still don't really know when he asked…"

"Have you asked?"

"Yes. After he made you all forget me. It was when I had no choice but to accept that I was possessed."

"Castiel." They were pulled from the conversation by Dalara's voice. "I need t' talk t' Dean. Not 'bout y'ur possession shtick but 'bout what he plans t' do."

"No. You'll tell him and then…"

"I won't say shit 'bout y'ur dick angel t' Dean." She snapped back. "She fucked it all up! I was ready!"

Gabriel snapped his mouth shut as he went to snap at her about her tone.

"I didn't give three shits 'bout humanity! What the _fuck_ did your angel do to me! Why do I _care_!" She cried, rising to her feet and yanking at the chains. "Fuck y'ur damned angel 'cause she fuckin' ruined me!" Then she fell to her knees and was sobbing uncontrollably, arms wrapped around her sides.

Then it clicked. It fell into place and him and Cas shared a stunned look.

She still remembered. Of course she did. The other version of her, she'd cared. She'd cared strongly for a select few and she'd been willing to fight The Apocalypse unlike this version.

"Dal-"

"Fuck. You." She whispered, enunciating the words in a way that her accent didn't carry through.

"Why do you want to talk to Dean?"

"He's fightin' fo' humanity. He's gotta fight fo' it all. All o' it. I can't say 'yes'. So I gotta get somethin' outta this. _Fuck you,_ Samael." His brother bristled next to him but didn't comment. Because this was good. _Holy shit, Samael just fixed the biggest flight risk._

It was probably a mistake but it might not have been. With the communication barrier he simply couldn't know.

But he could ask.

He could ask Sam to teach him Enochian. It was something he'd wanted to learn anyway, just to find a way to talk dirty in his angel's native tongue, but now he had a real reason to learn.

They needed to be able to talk to Samael.

He felt shitty for not telling Sam about her. But for the time being, he would trust Cas. He _trusted_ Cas. Not the archangel sitting in the passenger seat that had wiped out an entire country under the control of Raphael. Who had willingly wiped an entire city out on her own. Samael was a terrifying mystery. A ticking timebomb of power. But Cas trusted her. So for the time being, Gabriel would trust her.

After all, he'd trusted worse.

.-~*~-.

Dean sat on the edge of the motel room bed, listening to Lucifer's words as his brother reached out and touched on his god power. It was overwhelming, difficult to handle, but he handled it, and he _heard._

' _Samael played with my Vessel. With Michael's. Do what I know you are doing and contain that creature. Meld with her, Debriel or I will do to her what I did to Samuel.'_

Dean bristled at the threat. There was no way in Heaven or Hell Dean would let Lucifer get his hands on Samael. He'd nearly killed himself to save the youngest Archangel.

He didn't want to admit it, but he needed his Grace back. He needed it so he could track down Samael. To keep the fledgling from getting himself hurt.

"Debriel-"

"Dean." He corrected Akobel as the angel landed before him.

"Are you prepared?" Dean cast a glance at his sleeping brother. Sam would be okay.

"As good as I'll ever be." He stated decidedly as he rose to his feet.

"If it goes wrong…"

"Gather the rest of my followers and flee Heaven. I'm not kidding, Akobel. None of you were as stealthy as you think you were and if I'm out of the picture for good you aren't safe." Dean paused, moving his gaze to Sam. "Make sure he's safe. He went through Hell to help."

"All of Heaven couldn't stand against Lucifer or Raphael." Dean sighed, shaking his head at the angel's literal response. _Angels._

"Let's go." He said. "Bye, Sammy."

Then the show began. It was a dangerous show for Akobel, because of the Seraph was caught he'd be destroyed, but it was a show all the same.

Akobel came down behind him, wrapping constraining arms around his torso at the same moment he took flight.

Dean _fought_. He fought hard, with all his might, thrashed and lashed out of his god power. He truly fought back.

He had to. Akobel was strong enough he would be overpowered. But he had to play that he wasn't willing. Raphael would see through it if he didn't.

The worst thing he did to Akobel was drive Sam's angel blade through one of the seraph's wing, though he wasn't sure which, then he _felt_ it. The shifting of the atmosphere as he crossed into Heaven. The god power that made him up protested at it, burning slightly under brightness of Heaven's purity.

Dean had to duck his head down to shield his eyes from the unvesseled sights of angels.

"Stop resisting." Akobel ordered sternly in Enochian and Dean scoffed.

"Fuck off, feathers. Backstabbing dickwad. There was a time when you worshipped the ground I walked on!"

"That was a different time." Akobel answered coldly as they touched down in Heaven's throne room. There were whispers around him, hums of Grace that were being muffled by the warding in his body.

"Debriel." Raphael's voice was different now, a male vessel. _He must have burnt through the last one_. Angels weren't supposed to wear vessels unless they were visiting Earth. As far as he was aware Raphael never stepped foot out of Heaven and he felt himself bristling in anger.

"Hello, Raphael." He greeted with hostility, jerking against Akobel's hold.

"Leave us. I need to speak to him in private." Some audible whispers then the fluttering of wings. Dean slowly flicked his gaze open to see Raphael in a dark skinned male, as was his usual, only this one was no older than nineteen. It burned in him. Anger, frustration, dread. He'd just stepped into the claws of the beast. He could feel his Grace nearby, singing to him, calling, but he couldn't place where it was.

"Release him, Akobel and return to Earth. We still need to find Samuel, Samael, and Gabriel."

"Of course." Akobel said, releasing him and turning. Dean faintly felt something brush against his back, _wings._

It was a bold move on Akobel's part but it healed internal damage to his body without being obvious. Grace would do that sometimes, heal of its own accord.

"I see you've found a new Vessel." He stated conversationally as he rubbed his sides. Where was it?

"You seem unsurprised you were detained."

"I can't fly as a god. Flew right into the diner Akobel was patrolling from." Dean scowled. "Thought I was lucky too when he told me his name. Akobel worshipped me in the old days."

"You're not very loved anymore, Dean."

"I'm loved by the ones that matter." He answered.

"Little Samuel? The wingless wonder isn't anything."

"Whatever you say. He's cared a whole hell of a lot more than any of you did when I was still in Heaven." Dean took the moment to let loose a flash of god power, distinct irritation that gave him an advantage.

His Grace was in Raphael's pocket.

_Shit._

"You hid from Heaven for thousands of years. You do understand why I find it troubling you were the first of the ones we are looking for that was found right, Debriel?"

"Rip your Grace out and replace it with Pagan power and see how you fare against Heaven." He responded snidely, unease twisting in him. Raphael had never been stupid.

"I think you're lying, Debriel. You are here for this." Dean's gaze snapped to the vial of Grace as Raphael pulled it from his pocket. "I'm not ignorant, Debriel. The only way you could have infiltrated Heaven was by allowing yourself to get captured."

 _Not the only way._ So Raphael didn't know about the Earth gateway. That was vital information.

"Fine. You caught me." He spread his hands to the sides. "What are you going to do to me, _Brother_?"

"It's not what I'm going to do to you that you should fear, Debriel. It's what I'm going to do to your Grace. What I've already done. You have always been shortsighted; have never considered the prolonged consequences of your decisions. Now look at the damage Samael has done. Look at the damage that little angel of yours did to your favorite brother."

Anger ripped through Dean, "Don't you dare drop that blame on us, you dick! You're the one that decided to end the planet because Michael jumped ship like the rest of us. Newsflash, Raphael. You ever think maybe he's just not that into you?"

Then Dean was flying, launched through Heaven, soaring across heavens until he collided against one of the many closed Heavens. A Soul's Heaven. _Elizabeth._ He knew it was her. Even now he could feel her Soul reaching to him, drawing him in. He summoned his Archangel blade as Raphael came bearing down on him, thunder cracking across Heaven as the two Archangel blades collided.

It was her Soul that kept him moving. The close proximity that kept him from shattering apart. _Liz._

He rolled away, lashing out blindly with his blade.

He missed.

Artemis was Goddess of The Hunt. She wasn't skilled in hand to hand combat. Her power wasn't made for it.

His Vessel was. Dean was. He'd spent years watching Hunters. In theory, it was simple.

Dean caught Raphael's blade as it cascaded down on him, as he lashed out in Enochian, shouting at him, _blaming_ him. As though it was his fault Michael left him for his Soul.

"Raphael, you arrogant _dick_! Michael left because he was tired of it! Tired of serving our dick of a Father!" Dean pushed back with all his strength, drawing on that willingly given power, fueling himself with it. That Soul.

 _Liz_.

"If you'd pull your head out of your ass you'd realize that!" He dodged again, backing up to the wall of that heaven.

"God is _dead_ , Debriel. He will never come back. Michael has no _reason_ to stay away."

"Except if he comes back he'll lose his Soul!" Their blades collided again and his entire form ached with the fight to hold up against an Archangel. Heaven was taking a toll from it and he was almost positive they'd caused an earthquake on Earth.

"It's just another _human_. It can be erased."

Dean latched onto a thread of energy and for the first time since he'd become a god he _flew_. It was so _simple._ A wave of energy. All he had to do was grab on. Then he was behind Raphael and he stabbed.

Not for his back.

For his side.

His blade caught on that spot he could feel his Grace sitting in, but he aimed too low and his blade pierced glass and Grace like butter.

Silence roared through him as he feared the worst. Feared that he had just destroyed his own Grace. Left himself as a god, thrown himself the mercy of Raphael's wrath.

Then the shock was over and Raphael spun on him, that brilliant light that was _him_ , flying through the air, towards him.

Dean didn't think before he threw himself forward, before he opened his mouth and _breathed._

"Now!" He shouted as a hundred thousand wings fluttered around them, as he was filled to them brim with _him._ With _Grace._

Words rang through him, all of Heaven at once, as lost limbs regrew, as his Form retook.

' _Debriel!_ ' Angels shouted in shock, joy, and panic.

' _Fall back!_ ' He ordered as he flew from Heaven, struggling on- two wings?

_Shit._

.-~*~-.

Sam frowned at Gabriel. "Enochian? Why would you want to learn Enochian?"

"I realized you've taken time to learn about humanity, even if I'm not a fan I really should learn more about angels." Sam considered his human for several long moments, he'd never shown interest in Enochian before. In fact, he rarely showed interest in anything that would be classified as educational and learning Enochian would be just that. Educational.

"Enochian is far from an easy language. Are you sure, Gabriel?"

"Positive."

Sam nodded slowly, resisting the desire to pick at his thoughts through the dreamscape. If it was important, Gabriel would tell him.

"Very well." He offered his hand and began the lessons, starting with core basics that Sam could tell Gabriel was honestly trying to pay attention to. There was just one issue.

Gabriel was a terrible student.

Sam felt sympathy for any teacher that his Soul had growing up because Gabriel simply was too hyper to pay attention, not to mention his semi-ridiculous questions that eased some of Sam's unease to the situation.

A long while later he was torn from the dreamscape, jerking up out of bed and as Angel Radio tore to life.

' _Debriel!_ ' Sam delved into the commotion, trying to pick up on what was happening but only picking up on the louder flashes. He was still cut off from Heaven. Words flashed across he couldn't distinguish, Debriel and Raphael muffled into the mix.

' _Fall back!'_ Dean's voice rang loud and clear across Heaven's connection for the first time in a very long time, breaking through the commotion of everything else.

He'd done it. He'd retrieved his Grace.

Sam jumped up off the bed, listening to the chatter, trying to get an understanding on what had happened.

Then an Archangel collided with him and he was being carried through the air, Grace enveloping his and he could _feel_ again.

Pure raw energy.

_Debriel._

' _Heya, Sammy. Do me a favor and watch our back. We're on Pagan Airlines right now.'_

' _We're what?'_ Sam twisted around to see a horde of angels on his brother's tail- and wait.

Dean only had two wings.

' _Don't you dare laugh at me, Sammy.'_ His brother ordered as he tightened his grip and they _dove_.

The icy chill of Hell enveloped them for a moment and Dean cocooned them in his wings as they flew straight into brimstone. When Dean's wings returned to their place behind him they were in Purgatory.

Sam glanced behind them.

The angels were gone.

Dean landed a bit roughly, sending them both tumbling to the ground in a mess of feathers and bodies.

What had just happened?

Sam struggled into a sitting position, looking around as creatures spied on them from the surrounding trees.

"Fuck!" Dean shouted from next to him, spreading his wings, twisting them so he could investigate the forest green feathers.

"What happened?" He demanded, investigating his own Grace and nearly rejoicing when he found it intact, even if his wings were still gone. He didn't need to confine it to the center of his Vessel anymore, it was still scarred, but it didn't hurt anymore.

Dean had healed him while fleeing a flock of angels. He wasn't completely vulnerable anymore. He was _useful_ again.

"Akobel took me to Heaven to get my Grace back."

"You didn't wake me up."

"I know. It was better that way. You weren't coming with us so…" Dean shrugged casually as he flexed and prodded at his own wing, glaring at the limb as though it was the worst thing in existence and, for a moment, Sam wanted to throttle his brother. He wasn't allowed to be angry about _having wings._ He _had wings._

But Archangels had six sets normally. Twelve wings. Even Lucifer had eight functional, the other four still resided on her back in their broken state.

Dean had two wings now. Two fully functional wings that Sam would kill for, but what he had lost?

Sam couldn't try to pretend to understand. It didn't make him any less resentful.

Admittedly attacking Dean was the most irrational response to the situation, but in his defense he hadn't expected to _actually_ get the chance to drive his blade through Dean's shoulder. He also hadn't expected his brother's look of shock that twisted into annoyed amusement.

Somehow they ended up in the worst kind of a brawl, throwing each other into and through trees, Dean didn't even use his wings. Because Dean was the second best. An unwilling warrior. He didn't _need_ that advantage because God had left him the responsibility to train all of the angels.

Sam held his own pretty well considering his lack of stability from wing loss, he managed to throw his elder brother into a herd of nosy skinwalkers that panicked and fled. Dean was back on his feet in a second, throwing himself forward and knocking Sam onto his back, the younger angel attempted to roll out from under but was thwarted by Dean pressing a heavy foot to his chest before ripping the blade from his shoulder and holding it to his throat.

Of course Dean won.

"Yield." He said quietly and Dean flipped the blade, offering the hilt which Sam took, sending the blade to the pocket plane before taking his brother's hand.

"You done being pissy?"

"Yes." Sam answered, watching as Dean's Grace knitted the flesh on his shoulder together. "What happened?"

"I fought Raphael."

Sam stared at his brother in partial awe and partial concern. Dean, the god, had fought Raphael, a fully powered Archangel, and _won_? Was that physically _possible_?

Apparently it was. That explained why he'd caught him off guard. He'd just come off a fight.

"He threw me to Liz's heaven, probably to taunt me or some shit, and she fed me energy through the wall on her Heaven. She probably saved my life." Dean shuddered slightly and it rippled through his wings.

"What happened to your Grace?" He asked, peeling back the layers of his brother, peeking a glance at his True Form. It wasn't damaged but... it was lacking. It wasn't the all-powerful Archangel he was used to. It was…

"I caught it with my blade when I knocked it out of Raphael's pocket. Cut a chunk out of it." Dean shifted his Form around and _there_. Now he could see. There was a _chunk_ missing, cut right out of him.

"I am sorry."

"If I can get back to Heaven I should be able to heal it but…"

"You aren't sure."

"I've never seen anything like this." Dean admitted reluctantly. "Raphael could probably fix it but…" That would never happen. "We should probably take off before those angels we ditched figure out where we are."

"Who were they?"

"Raphael's toy soldiers. I'm pretty sure Naomi hardwired them to forget me, or at least what I am."

"Did they not watch you fight Raphael without your Grace?"

"He ordered them away. My followers saved me." Despite the look of pride on his expression there was air of discomfort at the statement.

Sam momentarily wondered how many had died to save him. How many of their brothers and sisters had been killed for Dean to retrieve his Grace.

Sam realized he didn't want to know.

"Ready to go?" Dean asked and he nodded, then his brother had hold of him and they were flying.


	16. 15: The Purgatory Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Hello, Debriel." The female voice came from the trees followed closely by a young dark skinned woman with gleaming green eyes and blonde hair carefully restrained in a tight braid, bow and quiver of arrows strapped over her naked form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry. I haven't forgotten about Balthazar. During the alternate timeline Balthazar was less involved because Cas wasn't there so Gabe wouldn't have considered praying to him, even if Sam told him to. I did not forget him. Pinky promise.

They flew, wings spread wide as they glided along Southeast Asia's skies. _'Where are we going?'_

Castiel had noticed Samael generally visited less populated parts of the world. Places where nature ran rampant. Unless he was going to kill.

Well, Samael was generally going to kill when these dreams happened. It was a matter of what or who. Until Carthage, Samael had never once shown interest in any life but his, but in an urgent prayer to Balthazar the Archangel had moved and he'd felt it. Felt a flash of understanding, and maybe jealousy, from the being and they'd flown in.

They'd pulled Ellen and Jo out as the hellhounds broke through.

It hadn't been quick enough but Samael had brought Jo back.

The sensation of purity that rushed across him as they used Samael's Grace for Jo's resurrection had given Castiel an insight into the archangel that he'd never expected. Yes, he'd suspected it before. However, in that moment he had understood.

Samael was good. He was innocent. A curious infant that didn't understand the world he had been thrown into.

It made it easier to accept that he was completely fine with the killings they did at night. Or it just gave him a reason for justification. Samael was a curious child. That was it.

Of course, if that was the case, it didn't justify the strange enjoyment he took in those same killings.

"Castiel." Samael spoke firmly with their voice as they touched down in a beautiful city that he couldn't quite place.

' _Samael.'_ He responded as Samael brushed his Grace against his mind, memories of them resurrecting Jo flooding him, tinged with wonder and that childlike curiosity. _'She was dead. You saved her life.'_ He sent a few memories of a younger Jo, the one he'd seen giggling and talking with his brother before they'd been banned from The Roadhouse. _'It was a good thing, Samael.'_

"Protection." The Archangel said quietly, earning a few confused looks from the Asian population that was walking past them.

' _You protected her.'_ He agreed, sending what he hoped was approval through the connection.

Samael shifted restlessly within him before she spread their wings and reached out. Before Castiel realized it they were holding a woman and flying.

Castiel seriously hoped no camera caught them kidnapping the woman. Of course Samael would probably wipe her from existence like he usually did.

.-~*~-.

"Balthazar, angel of the Lord I pray to thee to get your ass to Pine Hills Motel in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I can't get Cas to answer his damned phone and Sam and Dean aren't answering my prayers." There was an option to pray to that angel Akobel but with the timeline change Gabriel wasn't sure he should trust him.

"Ya ever consider maybe he ain't that inta ya?" Dalara chimed in unhelpfully from where she was lounged on the bed.

"You ever consider that you're a cunt?" He responded harshly and she flinched from her spot on the bed.

Okay, that had been cruel.

"Fo'give me if y'ur damned archangel brother decided t' fuck me ova."

"My brother's not an Archangel."

"Right. He's just walkin' 'round with one in 'im." She huffed a loud breath out and took the remote from the bedside table, flicking on daytime TV and letting Judge Judy blare through the cheap speakers.

Gabriel hated court television.

"Dal, please."

She shot him a sharp look. "Ya don't call me that." She bit out, sitting up and throwing her bound legs over the side so she was fully facing him. "Ya call me Dalara. That… other world. It was fake. Wasn' real. Ya can't call me that."

Gabriel bit back an angry remark, narrowing his eyes. "I know the difference, _Dal_. I think the real question is whether you do. I called you Dal before this started." Not for the first time in the week since they'd encountered Lucifer he wondered just how strong the second life was for his sister- for her. She clearly was on edge and she kept getting pissed off at him for mentioning anything that could be connected to that life.

"I _don't care._ " She bit out. "Stop doin' it. I'm Dalara."

"You're acting like a six year old."

"Comin' from Mr. Thirty goin' on thirteen year ol' school girl. C'mon, Gabriella. Have ya seen y'urself lately? I'd heard o' ya. You and baby bro. Two o' ya were idiots but ya threw all in fo' 'im 'nyway. Now y'ur heads so far up y'ur angel boyfriend's ass ya couldn't tell you'd lost y'ur _brother_."

Gabriel went rigid, fist clenching at his side. "I did realize." He answered coolly, carefully catching his sister's eyes. "I would sacrifice the planet for my brother. The time I spent with you as my sister in that timeline was pure misery because you _aren't_ my sister. I've _never_ known you. You're just a sadistic cunt that happens to share my blood."

Almost the second the words left his mouth he regretted them. If not for the words, the real bout of emotion that flooded her expression. But he couldn't take it back. Not yet. Because he couldn't _handle_ the bitchy attitude.

Not when Sam was missing.

Maybe she was right. But she didn't have the right to bring it up. Not as a way to pick a fight.

Unless he took into account that she was clearly struggling with memories a whole lot more than him. Maybe he had gone too far.

_'Sam, wherever the hell you are, I need you to come back. There's some crazy shit happening.'_

.-~*~-.

"You've got to stop doing this, Cas." He demanded of his brother as he stopped dead in his tracks. It had been a month since they'd last seen Sam but it felt like so much longer when he'd started catching Cas sneaking in at night like a rebellious teenager.

If it hadn't been for the blood on his clothes, Gabriel honestly wouldn't have cared. But he was always covered in blood that Gabriel prayed to whatever God was listening belonged to animals.

"What are you talking about?" His brother turned slowly, eyes downcast as he revealed blood stained clothes and his arms.

"I don't want to know what you and Mae are getting up to. I honestly don't." He swallowed back the sick feeling in his gut at that idea.

"It isn't what you think." Cas said quietly. "We're doing good."

"The blood says a different story, Cas."

"He's learning how to heal people. We're practicing on animals. That's it." Cas still wouldn't meet his gaze and he'd spent his life helping his brother learn to lie. Their entire job relied on it.

Gabriel should've been stopping Cas. He should've intervened the moment he'd realized something was wrong. Now he was in a hole ten miles deep and with Sam and Dean missing, he refused to think dead, he had to figure out how to pull his brother out of this before Samael did some real damage or made him forget his brother again.

"Just animals." He responded dryly, words carrying the weight of, "bullshit" without him speaking the words.

"Have you talked to any of them?" His brother tried to change the subject and reluctantly he let it happen.

"I'm thinking of praying to Akobel."

"Have you tried Meg?"

Gabriel blinked and stared at his brother.

He'd completely forgotten Meg had been angel and for a moment he was pissed. Why the hell hadn't he brought her up sooner? Actually, better question, when the hell was the last time Cas had spoken to his girlfriend?

"Pray to her."

His brother glared at him, gesturing to his clothes. "You pray. Her angel name is Gavreel. I'll be in the shower."

Gabriel wasn't sure he wanted to invite Meg here. With the way he was acting…

It was going to end horribly. Gabriel already knew his brother was going to break up with Meg the next time he saw her. At this point, Gabriel wasn't completely sure he could blame that on Samael. From his understanding of their relationship, it was doomed from the start. His brother was still in bad shape from the Dean situation and he was almost certain Meg was one of the angels that lost their soul.

Sighing, he surrendered and shoved his hand in his pocket, pulling the package of gummy worms out and heading down the stairs.

"I'm tellin' ya, Bobby. It ain't impossible 'cause that's what I _did._ "

"You can't just chop every monster's head off and burn it as a fix all solution."

"I'm tellin' ya it works. Take the head, lay t' bed. Fire's fo' good measure. If I'm ever a free woman again I'll show ya."

"Day I hunt with you is the day I die. Death follows your every footstep." The old man grumbled as Gabriel came into the study.

"She's a pretty good hunting partner." Gabriel chimed in, as he grabbed a handful of gummy worms. Dalara scowled at him, shifting against the expertly bound rope on her ankle and moving her attention to the book in her lap.

"I don't know much about her but she dies more than anything else I've ever seen. As far as I'm concerned, death follows her. Probably the big daddy one now as well."

"Sorry ta break it t' ya, Gramps but Luci's got 'im on a leash 'bout this tight." She grabbed the rope on her ankle and held it out at a length no longer than her forearm. Gabriel stared at her and she huffed out a breath of annoyance. "While you an' baby bro were huntin' her I ripped out one o' m' ribs. I could receive visits from 'er."

Gabriel wasn't sure whether to be incredibly impressed or disturbed. She'd _ripped her own rib out_.

"Mae healed m' ass when she fixed it all. To ease y'ur mind. See?" She hefted up the bottom of her shirt exposing smooth skin with absolutely no scars, a stark contrast to the brutal healings done by Nex.

"Put your shirt down." Bobby ordered her and she laughed.

"Like what ya see, ol' man? Sorry t' break it t' ya but I don't swing that way." She blew him a kiss as he huffed out incoherent words under his breath, brushing last Gabriel.

"Deal with her before I change my mind and kill her."

"Love ya too, Booby!" She called loudly and he groaned in annoyance as he left them.

"Idgits."

"Do you have to torment him?"

She ignored him, picking up a book on werewolves off the table, opening it and setting it in her lap to read.

"I'm trying to be civil with you."

"Civil's fo' wars an' funerals." She responded harshly as he walked over to her, dropping the handful of the worms on the book.

"Do me a favor, Dal."

"What's the favor?" She asked cautiously as she lifted one of the candies off the paper, staring at it with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Stop being a bitch to Bobby and I'll bring you cake."

"Cake an' hair dye an' I'll do it." She responded after a moment and he stared, not having suspected that she'd cooperate at all. "Don' give me tha' look, Gabe. Take o' leave i'."

"Right. Okay."

"Now go find y'ur angel." She told him, waving the gummy worm at him before shoving it in her mouth. "Again." She added around a mouthful of worm.

.-~*~-.

Sam and Dean backed away as the swarm of leviathan stalked towards them. Sam tried hard not to look at the gaping hole in his brother's right wing that currently had them grounded but he couldn't stop himself from glancing over, golden blood pouring out and covering forest green.

"Debriel, let's make this simple. Either come willingly, or we eat you."

"If I come willingly you'll eat me anyway."

The creature flashed razor sharp teeth at them. "Two wingless angels are hardly a feast, but you will do. Come with us. Now, De-"

Sam stared, dumbfounded, at the osmium tipped arrow that went through the thing's head and landed a few inches in front of his feet. The other leviathan turned in unison as a war cry ripped through the forest around them, coming from all directions.

"Leave the angels alone, Oozlings!" There were mocking barks and giggling from the forest around them following the female voice and Dean went rigid next to him.

"You have no place here, Pagan!" Another leviathan spoke up after a moment and the laughter and barks grew louder as another arrow flew through the back of a skull, this one buzzing past Dean's skull. Dean flexed his wings behind him, as several of the leviathan looked between each other, gazes flicking through the forest.

"If that's true, One God strike me down!" The voice called back tauntingly. "You're fucking with a Pagan. Leave, Oozlings or we will kill all of you!"

The sounds grew louder around them, closer, and Sam tightened his grip on his angel blade. Dean on the other hand seemed relaxed. _Pagans._

There was a goddess out there, but which one? Sam knew virtually nothing about the Pagans. They were _Pagans._ 'False gods', though he wasn't so sure about that after meeting Loki.

The leviathans twitched violently before collapsing into a pile of black goop and fleeing.

"Hello, Debriel." The female voice came from the trees followed closely by a young dark skinned woman with gleaming green eyes and blonde hair carefully restrained in a tight braid, bow and quiver of arrows strapped over her naked form.

"It's been a long time, Artemis. Is that a Melanesian form?"

Artemis grinned at him as she crossed the distance, enveloping the Archangel in a tight hug before turning her attention to Sam who narrowed his eyes. "When Aphrodite died she was wearing this form. I liked it. Who's the fledgling?"

Sam bristled and Dean laughed. "Not a fledgling. Meet Samuel, now known as Sam."

"I've heard of Sam." She responded, tilting her head.

"So which trickster is out there?" Dean asked, changing the subject. "Hermes? Coyote? Anansi?"

She blinked and shook her head, "Loki." She said, turning and looking towards the tree line.

Loki was dead?

"So much for secrets. Sam, Dean." The angels turned to see Loki lounged against the cliff they'd been backing towards. For once Loki was wearing his true form, a round creature with a battered face that signaled neither male nor female.

"You're dead?"

"Little nymph stabbed me in the back after I tried to sell her to Dalara. Apparently she was pro-Judeo-Christian Apocalypse." Loki answered in a raspy voice

"You did what?" Dean glared at him and he shrugged.

"If there's anything nymphs are good at, it's seduction. I offered her in trade. The Vessel didn't bite."

"Of course she didn't, you dumbass. Lucifer has offered to end the grief caused by her throwing _everything_ away."

"I didn't know that at the time. Doesn't matter. She called your lovely brother and he killed me. Or is it sister? I suppose I'm not one to care." Loki shoved his hands in his pockets.

"When did you die?" Sam asked, narrowing his eyes. He wasn't a fan of the trickster god, knowing what he'd done to Gabriel.

"A week ago. Or was it years ago? I think. Time is so...finicky here." He scowled before turning his focus. "The Ooze tricked one of alarms, Art."

"Find Ares." Loki snapped his fingers and shifted into a flock of falcons, fleeing the area with several high pitched screeches.

"Those are levia-"

Artemis covered Sam's mouth quickly. "Don't say it. Here, names have a lot of power. They're The Ooze or anything but what they are." Sam narrowed his eyes as she let him go.

"Artemis?"

"Hm?" She turned her full focus to Dean when he spoke.

"I hate to ask. Really. I feel like an asshole for it, but do you know how to get us out of here?"

She frowned, squinting at him suspiciously. "Where's my power at, Debriel?"

"I've burnt most of it out." His brother admittedly uncomfortably.

"I can see that. You're radiating Grace. Both of you are. Why don't you tap into the reserves?"

"They're dry." Dean responded, taking a step back as realization dawned on the goddess's face.

"You stopped being a goddess."

"When my Father pushed His religion to the front most of them stopped worshipping Pagans. I couldn't do anything."

Her eyes narrowed before she smacked the archangel upside the head, earning an annoyed look from Dean. "Worship exists in all places at once. What do you think holds me together in here?" She grabbed his brother by his wrist and pulled him down so he was eye level. "I'll help you out, Debriel. One final time. But there will be a cost."

"Isn't there always?" He answered dryly and she hit him in the side of the head again. Sam couldn't help the smile that curled on his lips at the action.

"Stop being an ass. The deal is simple. I will show you how to use my power _properly_ , how to escape, and in turn you'll take me with you."

Dean stared at her. "I- I don't think I can. You're…"

"Dead, I know. Trust me. But Pagan oaths _have_ to be carried out. It has to happen if you agree. I need out, angel. Please." Dean sighed softly, kissing her forehead.

"I've never been able to say 'no' to you, you brat."

She clapped her hands together. "Love you too, Deb." She flicked her gaze to Sam, "I'm guessing we're taking the little, not so little, one."

"Yes."

"Alright. Make the oath, Debriel. Don't make it under my name. Make it under whatever alias you've been using since you stopped being worshipped."

"Okay." Dean took a breath, shifting on his feet and taking her shoulder under his hand. "I, Dean, god of the protectors of humanity, vow that in exchange for her assistance in gathering power to escape Purgatory, I will resurrect Artemis, goddess of the hunt, forests and hills, the moon, and archery." The air crackled to life around them and Dean visibly winced, the god power was clearly negative energy and it twitched and turned as it took life, wrapping around Artemis and his brother both…

Then they were launched apart, a terrible sound tearing through the area that caused Sam to collapse to his knees, holding his ears.

"Fuck!" Dean's voice carried past him as the sound dissipated, changing to a low him and growling from the distance.

"Time to go, Debriel!" Artemis shouted as delicate fingers wrapped around his wrist then tightened.

"What the hell was that?" Dean demanded as he was pulled to his feet.

"The Mother." She answered then they were flying.

.-~*~-.

"Gavreel, I pray to my dumbass brother's girlfriend for assistance. Sam and Dean are gone and have been for a month." Gabriel flicked his eyes open, frowning when the telltale flutter of wings didn't come through the air. He turned around, gaze crossing the salvage yard. Nothing. Either Meg wasn't going to pick up, or there was a problem with prayers. Either way, there was a serious problem. He was running out of angels to ask for help.

Rubbing his hands over his face, he headed inside. He wasn't one foot in when his phone started ringing, blaring _Dude Looks Like a Lady_.

Was she really calling him?

"Hello?" He asked as he pressed the phone to his ear.

 _"Don't ever pray to me, Gabriel. I mean it."_ She responded harshly. _"I'm_ _hiding_ _. Prayers to angels like me send beacons to Archangels. Namely, Raphael."_

"I'd apologize but honestly the fact that _Sam and Dean_ _are missing_ _makes me very unsympathetic to your hiding_."

 _"I know."_ She sighed. _"Where's Cas at, Gabriel?"_

"In town." He lied easily and she paused.

_"Your angel is in Purgatory. Before you freak out, he's with Debriel."_

Purgatory? What the hell was Purgatory?

 _"Debriel is an Archangel again. He took his Grace back."_ She clarified over the line and Gabriel couldn't help the smile that crossed his face. So Sam had done it. At least that's what he wanted to believe. It could've been something else entirely that led Dean back to being an Archangel. But Dean was an _Archangel_ again. They had an Archangel on their side that actually had good intentions, Mae didn't count because she was an asshole and Gabriel was almost certain that her and his brother were going off, killing people, and erasing any and all traces of the incident.

Mae was absolutely terrifying. And since when was this his moral compass? Death and destruction being okay as long as his brother and his Archangel were doing it.

 _Fuck_.

_"Gabriel? You there?"_

"Yeah." He answered, clearing his throat. _Fuck._ "Sorry. It's just, that's good." He said dumbly and he could almost hear her eye roll.

_"You weren't listening to me. I said, it could be months before you see them again. Purgatory has a sensitive timestream based on the density of the souls present. Typically a massive assortment of souls would speed up time for them making days here feel like years there, but angels are something else. Grace is light. It draws on Soul energy and_ _reduces_ _the density. What is days or hours for them could be months or years for us. Especially since Dean is an_ _Archangel_ _."_

As Meg's words sank in his skin began to crawl. Months or years. It could be months or years before Sam and Dean were back. _Months or years._ They _needed_ the angels. They weren't going to be able to deal with _Lucifer_ without Dean's help.

He wasn't going to survive Mae without Sam's help. He was going to lose his brother to a damned Archangel.

_Damn it._

_"Gabriel, you're at Bobby's, right?"_

"Yeah." He answered.

_"Don't do anything stupid, okay?"_

"I'm already doing something stupid. Meg, get here and talk to your boyfriend before something bad happens." Then he hung up, staring at the phone screen.

_Cas is possessed. Dalara is a ticking time bomb. Sam is gone. Dean is gone. Balthazar is gone. Cas is turning into a fucking sociopathic murderer. They're in Purgatory. It's all collapsing and I don't know what the fuck to do. I'm asking for advice, Michael._

.-~*~-.

_Gabriel eyed the bed, staring at the red haired man lounging on it comfortably._

" _Hello, Gabriel."_

" _Now you show up." Gabriel pointedly turned his attention away from the Archangel, walking to the window and staring outside._

" _I've told you I don't intend on getting involved."_

" _Yet you're here."_

" _You prayed." The Archangel countered. "What do you mean your brother's possessed?" Something in the Archangel's voice told him he already knew._

" _Did Luci tell you?"_

" _Of course you nicknamed my sister." Michael sighed, completely ignoring the question but still answering it._

" _You won't do anything about Mae, will you?"_

" _I could kill her." Michael answered bluntly, causing Gabriel to jump and turn. The Archangel was still lounged out on the bed._

" _You'd kill Mae."_

" _I said I could. Not would. I'm hiding. Remember?"_

" _What do you know about her?"_

" _A lot more than anyone else. I'm the oldest. She can't jog my memory like she can Debriel and Raphael."_

" _I don't understand that." Gabriel admitted. "If she's is the youngest-"_

" _Archangels don't gain power by age. Each of us has a purpose. Lucifer is powerful because she has all of Hell to her, I'm powerful because of what I do as well as my access to Heaven's Soul population. Raphael would increase in power if he was doing what he was supposed to do."_

" _He's a healer, right?"_

" _And a plaguemaster. Once Pestilence begins his onslaught Raphael will grow in strength."_

" _What about Dean?"_

_A smile twisted on the Archangel's face. "He's rebelling by not doing what he's supposed to. There was a time I could've gone head to head with Debriel and lost. Now he's fizzled out. Lucifer could kill him if she tried. Even with him having his True Vessel."_

" _It's the killing, isn't it? Samael, I mean."_

_Michael shrugged. "Probably. Since your moron brother said 'yes' she has a major advantage."_

" _I can't make him let her go."_

" _'_ _There is nothing in existence that will ever compare to your True Vessel accepting you. Remember this, my sons. While your Soul will give you love and experience like no other, your True Vessel will understand you in a way no other creature in existence will ever be able to.'_ _That's what God told us."_

" _Why won't you let me say 'yes'?" If what Michael was saying was true, wouldn't it be worth it to take his 'yes'?_

_Michael eyed him for several long moments before patting the spot next to him. "Take a seat." Unsure why he was doing it, he did as told, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I'm going to tell you a secret." The Archangel said, a glass of scotch appearing in each of his hands, one he offered to Gabriel who took it, staring at the amber liquid. He was dreaming. He couldn't get drunk. "Do you remember when we met and I told you I'd Fallen further than any of my brothers?"_

" _Yes." He answered before taking a drink of the liquid, eyes widening when he found he actually enjoyed the taste._

" _My Soul was a drunken fool and threw his Soul to a crossroads demon before I could save him. So I did something no angel should ever do. I visited him that night and I asked him a question."_

_Gabriel blinked, focusing on Michael completely for the first time that night as his words clicked together. He'd Fallen further than any other angel. Grabbed onto his Soul and never let go._

" _Your Vessel is your soul."_

_Crowley grinned though it wasn't really amused. "I possessed my Soul. A Vessel is immortal as long as the angel is in them and Hell can't claim a Soul that belongs to an angel."_

" _So you possessed him. That's why you won't possess me."_

" _His Soul belongs to Hell. There's nothing that I can do to break the contract because he's my Soul. So if I take your 'yes'. I lose him. Sorry, Gabriel, but you're not worth that." Michael clearly wasn't apologetic, but Gabriel didn't care. It was a comfortable understanding. Michael had thrown everything away to protect the one he loved, and Gabriel knew that if he had the opportunity, he'd do the same._

" _What do you know about Purgatory?" He finally asked and Michael sighed heavily, taking a large swig of the drink._

" _Your angel and my brother are going to have a hell of a time getting out of there. They'll live, though. Debriel's too stubborn of an ass to die."_

_Gabriel took comfort in the confidence in Michael's voice. "You really won't help us."_

_Michael swirled the whiskey in his glass, contemplating it before meeting his gaze. "If I do help, you won't know it's me. Do me a favor and don't try to find me, Gabriel."_

" _Okay." He agreed, moving his attention to the liquid in his glass._

" _When he's back, make your angel listen. Make him run away with you."_

" _Don't you ever regret it?"_

" _The regret is worth the reward." Was Michael's answer. So yes. Michael regretted leaving. Maybe if Raphael ever got his hands on him he could use that to buy some leniency. Probably not._

" _Wait-"_

" _Glencraig." The Archangel smirked at him as he answered the unspoken question. "Aged thirty years." Then he was alone._

_The rest of that night he dreamt of white sand beaches and a different life with his angel._

_.-~*~-._

"You should help them." Michael shook his head at his Soul.

"If I die, you die, and I haven't protected you from Hell for four hundred years to die for a Vessel I've no interest in using."

Fergus rose from where he sat in the dreamscape, crossing the small room.

"You showed me a better way, Michael."

"I drug you to Hell. I'm no better than the hellhounds."

Fergus smiled at him, shaking his head. "And made us a King. I was a drunken fool, Michael. You made me The King of The Crossroads."

"I can't protect you if we help them."

"If we stand against Lucifer and win, we can take over Hell." Fergus changed tactics and Michael narrowed his eyes at the other man, memories of God telling him to kill Lucifer for doing what He told her to flooding his memories. He _couldn't_ do that.

If his Soul asked, he knew he would. Just as Lucifer had rebelled against their Father for Lilith.

"You can't ask me that." The words weren't a plea. Not yet. Just a statement. A broken statement.

"Then be reasonable and help them. Playing this game as Crowley won't end well if Samael recognizes you."

Michael scowled at the thought of the destructive little Archangel. Samael was dangerous. Michael had yet to see her, but he knew. As Crowley they'd received a steady increase in humans selling their Souls for things generally revolving around depression, the kind of depression brought on by having loved ones wiped from memories. What he'd said about Samael had been true. He could kill her. She was a nuisance. There had to be a reason for her existence, but whatever that was, Michael didn't know. No one did.

' _Miiiichaaael.'_ Lucifer's voice rang softly over the generally quiet connection. ' _A little birdie told me a secret. I know where he is. The Vessel. Your Vessel. You don't want him, right? No. You don't. If you did you'd have him. I'm done playing games with them, Michael. Death is on my leash and both him and Samuel will suffer for Lilith. I'm guessing you're hiding with your Soul_. _I'd never hurt it, as long as you stay out of my way. I know what you did. I know you manipulated the contracts in Hell to protect him. I'm not playing games with you, Michael_. _I will get my revenge._ '

Fergus gave him a knowing look as he flexed his wings behind him _._

"We're going, aren't we?" Michael couldn't help fluffing his wings when he saw how pleased his Soul was. _Of course._

"We're not giving ourselves away." Michael conceded and Fergus smiled widely.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Darling." Fergus leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before taking control of their combined Vessel.

' _Robert Singer's house in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.'_ Michael wrapped his Grace around Fergus' Soul as the man latched onto their demonic power, stepping out of the pocket universe Michael had devised them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it's revealed. Yes, Michael is Crowley. Sort of. Michael and Fergus(Michael's Soul) both are. Michael possessed Fergus after he sold his soul as a means to protect him from the hellhounds then later took on the guise of Crowley and worked his way to King of the Crossroads. I probably won't have a chance to explain it unless I dedicate more of a chapter to him.


	17. 16: The Allegiance of Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Your lover's possessed." Dal spoke up bluntly and Meg froze, staring at Gabriel.

Gabriel left Bobby's.

It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. It was a drawn out decision over the span of a week that started with a visit by Crowley.

" _Harpies've got sixtain eyes. Y'all's senses are just too dull t' see. They've the two we've got plus seven runnin' down their cheekbone on each side." With the explanation she tapped down the side of her face, marking where these supposed eyes were meant to be no doubt._

" _The half demon is right." An accented voice came from the doorway._

_Seconds later three hunters had weapons drawn and two bullets had been fired. Crowley scowled at them, looking down at the bullet wounds while Gabriel turned his attention to his sister. Where the hell had she gotten a gun?_

" _Who are you?" Bobby demanded._

" _Name's Crowley." The demon responded easily and Gabriel turned his focus back to the doorway._

" _He's the demon that gave us The Colt." Gabriel explained, glaring at said demon with hatred._

" _Don't give me that look, Gabriel. I risked my ass in helping you."_

" _It didn't help! Your faulty intel nearly handed Lucifer her Vessel!"_

 _Crowley quirked an eyebrow at him and Gabriel had the strong desire to punch him square in the jaw._ Asshole.

" _So is that who the lady is? Got to say, Gabriel. I did not expect your sister to be a redhead."_

" _Fuck. You." Dalara enunciated carefully and Crowley smiled at her. Of course he didn't remember they'd met. There were only three people weaker than the Archangels that remembered._

" _I like ya, darlin'." The British demon mocked her accent, which Gabriel should've realized was an issue considering she'd yet to speak to him in her accent, and she shot the gun again. "Was that necessary?"_

" _Yes. What the fuck are ya doin' here?" She demanded._

" _Right." The demon straightened, moving his focus to Gabriel. "I could beat around the bush, but I won't. A very reliable source told me where you-"_

" _Who?"_

" _I can't tell you that. Listen to me, or don't, I'm not your damned babysitter. As I told you before, I have no interest in letting Lucifer win. Right now you're carrying her equivalent of a nuke."_

" _You got Ellen and Jo killed." Bobby finally spoke up and Crowley shrugged._

" _We're at war. A lot of people have died. If it's any consolation, Lucifer ripped apart half of the Crossroads Demons when she learned what I did."_

_Gabriel blinked, the room going silent._

" _Because you were the King of the Crossroads?"_

" _And because she's psychotic in her grief. Anyone who isn't with her is against her and anyone who might've been allied with those against her is against her. It's really quite a clever tactic, but it's left a huge gap in Hell."_

" _Doesn't she get her power from Hell's souls?"_

_Something vaguely familiar flashed in Crowley's eyes before he shrugged. "Though it's my prerogative to gain knowledge, my Archangel knowledge is severely lacking."_

" _The Colt?"_

" _I honestly thought it would work." Gabriel frowned, eying him for a moment. Something rang wrong with Crowley. Something he couldn't place. It wasn't just the good guy demon story, they'd heard that before and been fucked over. It was something he felt he_ should _know but was just out of reach. "Now to business. Lucifer knows where you are and while I don't particularly care for the well-being of Michael's Vessel I would prefer that Lucifer's didn't stroll right into her hands. Especially with the stories I've heard."_

" _Gabe, can ya stab 'im fo' me?"_

" _Don't shoot the messenger." Crowley said bluntly, considering her for a moment. "I recommend you pack your bags and go, before Lucifer shows up."_

" _You expect us to trust you?" Bobby asked. Of course, Gabriel, being the genius he was, already believed every word coming from the demon's mouth._

" _I don't expect anything from you, old man. I'm talking to the world's most unfortunate siblings. Pack your bags, and run." Gabriel blinked and Crowley was gone._

Dalara and Bobby had been significantly more skeptical than Gabriel, which of course hadn't gone over well. Neither of them were happy that they were agreeing with each other on something so Bobby had demanded he called his brother, who he'd lied about to his adoptive father, and it had led to another mess involving Meg who had gone with the bullshit story before telling him she needed to talk to him.

It was a drawn out plan.

Okay, maybe it wasn't.

In all honesty it was a hellish mess and Gabriel was about ready to rip his hair out of his skull. So he was leaving. He'd packed up his brother's stupid car, prayed to Mae since they were ignoring his phone calls, and was planning to drive to Iowa.

The only flaw in his plan was leaving Dal. Gabriel knew Bobby wouldn't hurt her, but he wasn't completely sure she wouldn't hurt him. It was clear as day that she'd been affected by the other life Mae had thrown on her, but she made it clear she wasn't happy about it. The fact that she'd managed to pickpocket a gun off of one of them without them noticing was a huge cause for alarm. Why had she taken the gun?

Maybe he shouldn't leave her. He paused in the threshold of the door, considering whether he should go down to the panic room and get her or not.

That question was answered when he caught sight of a head of red hair in the Continental.

"What the fuck?" He asked himself, running down the stairs and to the car, throwing open the door to see his sister smiling innocently at him.

"You couldn't've possibly thought you'd get away wit' ditchin' me at Booby's."

"How-"

"I ripped m' own rib out t' call Luci. Ya honestly think I can't untie a li'l knot? Ye of li'l faith, Gabriella. So where're we goin'?"

Gabriel wasn't sure whether to be super impressed or super freaked out. He knew how capable she was. The pain tolerance she possessed was impossible, the survival skills scary good -if the time they were stranded in Alaska in the separate timeline hunting a Keelut was anything to go by-, and her self-preservation instinct was almost non-existent due to her years of practical immortality. This shouldn't have been surprising. But it was. Not because she did it, but because she did it so easily. It clicked with him that she could've escaped at any given moment, and she didn't.

She was being genuine.

They truly had Lucifer as a lesser threat. _Mae had helped._ Gabriel didn't think for a second that it was deliberate. Just a bit of influence from Cas. But Mae had helped. It made him grudgingly grateful. Dalara was one less flight risk.

"Earth t' baby bro." Gabriel was torn from his thoughts by fingers snapping in front of his face. "We need t' get outta here 'fore Booby gets up."

"Right." He said stupidly, shoving her to the side as he slid into the driver seat.

"I don' understand why ya drive this P-O-S." Dal said as she lounged back, wincing as the vehicle struggled to life.

"Cas claimed it." Gabriel answered, thinking about the other line and the Ford Ecoline he'd driven there. "We never really kept a car when Dean joined us, then this thing showed up here and Cas fell in love."

"It's a piece o' crap."

Gabriel shrugged as he pulled out of the yard. He didn't care what she thought. It wasn't her car, it was Cas'.

"I was alone, ya know? Fo' years. Then I met ya and there was a spark o' hope. Both times. Ya sold y'ur Soul fo' me 'spite the fact I wanted t' die. Ya sold it fo' y'ur baby bro. Y'ur an idiot, Gabriel Nobak. But y'ur such a good person. So trust me here. I'm on y'ur side. 'spite the fact I wanna throw myself t' Luci."

"I do." He answered honestly as he flipped the radio on, Dal perking next to him as a rapper he didn't know the name of until the timeline event came on, information he could've gone his whole life without. Gabriel cast a glare to her, where the hell had she gotten her hands on a CD?

 _"Journey with me into the mind of a maniac, doomed to be a killer since-"_ Gabriel reached over and turned it to radio earning a hostile look from his sister.

"You can't rap, Dal."

"And ya can't sing, don't stop ya from singin' along t' every song from the sixties."  
The rest of the car ride was spent that way. Comfortable bickering that made him miss his brother.

.-~*~-.

"What's going on with Castiel?" Meg demanded of him the moment he sat down across from her at the table in one of the million diners that lined the entire United States.

"Oooh, she's purty, Gabriella." Dal remarked as she squeezed herself in next to him.

Meg pointedly ignored her as she glared at Gabriel.

"It's complicated."

"Your lover's possessed." Dal spoke up bluntly and Meg froze, staring at Gabriel.

"Not Lucifer." Gabriel quickly clarified, glaring over at his sister who shrugged.

"I didn't promise 'im not'in'." Which was true. But still he felt like crap. He'd promised.

"Who?" Meg finally asked, locking her hands together in what could've been mistaken for prayer.

"Samael." Meg frowned, and it took a moment before recognition finally dawned on her expression.

"The new Archangel."

"Yes. This is my sister. Lucifer's _actual_ True Vessel."

Meg finally gave Dalara her attention, "You radiate heavy amounts of duress."

"Tends t' happen when y'ur head's been fucked wit' by an asshole Archangel." She answered dryly, looking up as the young blonde waitress came to the table, there was no way in Heaven or Hell that she was older than eighteen and Gabriel wanted to strangle his sister when she perked up next to him.

"Good afternoon." The girl greeted cheerily, laying out menus in front of each of them.

"Fo'get Heavenly." Dal muttered under her breath and Gabriel elbowed her in the side, rolling his eyes.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" The young blonde asked obliviously.

"A-"

"I'll take a large chocolate milkshake." Gabriel interrupted his sister before she could make any inappropriate comments. "And she'd like the same." He put an arm over his sister's shoulder, squeezing tightly.

"I'll take a Coke." Meg added.

"Coming right up!" The girl said happily before spinning on her heels and strolling away from the table, oblivious to the situation.

"She's _sixteen_ , Dal." Gabriel bit out as his sister shoved his arm off of her, like he was in the wrong.

"Twenty three." His sister corrected, not that he believed her. There was no way that girl was older than eighteen.

"You're almost fifty."

"Technicalities." She brushed it off. "Y'ur fuckin' an angel. How old's Sammy?"

Gabriel groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. "Can you behave for five minutes, Dal?"

"Not really." She answered. At least she was honest.

"Back to the subject." Meg pushed, not voicing her opinion on the subject. For a moment Gabriel wondered what an angel would think about the situation. Dal was right of course. Sam could tell him stories of The Dawn of Creation. But it was different. Sam was an angel, and intelligent. "Why did you let your brother get possessed?"

Gabriel blinked, narrowing his eyes. "Why did _I_ let him get possessed? Are kidding me, Meg? From my understanding he's been possessed for months! He was fucking living with you!"

Meg recoiled faintly, a slight motion Gabriel only knew from all of his time watching Sam. It was almost disturbing how easy it was to read angels because of Sam. They all had faintly similar reactions to certain things. Meg had clearly masked most of her's, as had Dean, but there was the occasional slip.

"You're right." She admitted reluctantly. "So Castiel is possessed." She paused, looking down at her hands. "Father, help us all."

"I don't think He is listening." Gabriel said and she sighed.

"I think He is. He just doesn't care. I was the first to run from Heaven. I left because I could feel how disappointed He was. I'm meant to keep the peace, but what kind of peace can be obtained when your brothers are miserable?"

"Wait." Dal spoke up. "Y'ur Gavreel?"

Meg paused, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "How do you know that?"

"Ion possessed me 'fore he ran an' killed 'imself." Dalara answered bluntly and Meg clenched her fist.

"That isn't funny, Vessel."

"I know. It's fucked. But, hey? Least he's not sufferin'." Dalara responded harshly and Meg's shoulders tightened, Gabriel could almost _see_ her wings flaring behind her.

"If only it was sunny out." Gabriel cut into the conversation in hopes of diffusing the situation. It made sense that Meg would've known the angel that possessed Dal but there was a strong question of why she was making a big deal about it. He knew she generally hated angels, but what was her problem with Meg?

"What's your problem?" Meg asked, glaring daggers.

"Angel o' Peace. Remember y'ur purpose. Keep the peace. Guess what. Ya failed. The woman I love was killed by an angel 'cause you weren't up there keepin' the peace. So fuck off, _Gavreel_." Dalara stood suddenly, shoving at the table with strength a human wouldn't possess and causing the wood to audibly splinter, though it didn't break, before she stormed out of the diner.

That could've gone better.

"She really is Lucifer's Vessel." Was all Meg said, a distant look in her eyes that she quickly shoved aside. "She won't say 'yes', right?"

"No. She won't."

"Well, do you know where Cas is?"

"I haven't seen him since after you left on Thursday."

"He was possessed then." She stated rather than asked, he nodded anyway. "And he's gone now."

"He's ignoring phone calls and Mae doesn't speak English so I'm assuming my prayers are hitting walls."

"Angels speak all languages."

"All he knows is Enochian."

Meg frowned, not looking up when the waitress girl returned.

"Where'd your sister go?"

Gabriel blinked, looking up at the blonde. Had it been that obvious? The girl set their drinks down anyway, and it didn't pass his notice that the one meant for Dalara had more whipped cream.

"She had to go take a phone call." He lied easily and she frowned before returning to her perky self. "Ah, yes. Can I get you anything to eat?"

"Get me your most sugary dessert." Gabriel answered as he lifted the menu, passing it to her. "And your biggest burger with a side of fries."

"Of course." The girl responded, writing it down before looking over at Meg. "You?"

"Just some fries. Not really hungry." She answered distantly as she offered her own menu which the girl took happily.

"Coming right up." The woman chirped, looking towards the door. Gabriel watched her go, unable to shake a weird feeling. Something about her…

"Is she human?" Gabriel asked suddenly as dread filled him and Meg lifted her head, looking after the girl.

"A nymph. Her form is extremely masked." The angel answered after a moment and his blood ran cold.

 _The last of nature. The last of her species. "_ _We_ need to go. _Now._ " Gabriel said as he rose to his feet. Before Meg could ask the building started rattling and she visibly paled. In both lines the incident in Carthage had Arbor sending the hellhounds after them. Arbor who had skills that rested around seduction and nature. Gabriel still barely understood how that had happened. But it didn't matter, because her presence meant one thing.

 _Lucifer._ The shaking grew more violent as the name rang through his skull, a high pitched sound screaming through the air.

"Meg, get us out of here!"

"I can't." The angel said, words shaking slightly. "She's here for you." Meg was frozen in the spot and Gabriel realized she was going to be completely useless. She was the angel of peace. She wouldn't dare stand against Lucifer. Gabriel spun around to see the blonde, _Arbor_ , strolling out the door, form twisting to a different form that Gabriel recognized only briefly from when Sam had shown him her death. _Lilly._

Gabriel raced after the nymph, grabbing his angel blade from under the edge of his jacket as he moved.

" _Gabriel._ " A young voice came from behind him and his blood turned to ice. That voice. The voice Lilith had possessed when he first met her. _The daughter he never knew._ _Even with the memory of Carthage burning in his memory an important question rang loud and clear._ Where the hell had Lucifer gotten her hands on her? She'd died. When Dean Fell. "Turn around. Now."

"I'd rather not." He responded, voice cracking slightly as his grip tightened on his blade. Things had been different in Carthage. He'd had a _chance._ That chance was dead and his back was to a _very_ pissed off Archangel that wanted to tear him apart. In the parking lot he saw Arbor outside the Continental, Dalara a few feet away staring in anger and longing.

_Don't you dare, Dal. I believe in you._

"Where is Samuel?"

"A million miles away." Gabriel answered. He wouldn't tell her. Not in a million years.

 _Samael, wherever the hell you are, help. Help._ He added the final 'help', almost positive it was the Enochian word Sam had taught him, though it may have been something else entirely. He sincerely hoped it was 'help'.

"Is he in Purgatory with Debriel? Tell me the truth or your daughter will suffer greatly."

Gabriel refused to fall into that trap, even at the sick feeling in his gut. _Guilt._ There was too much at stake here. Too much of a risk. No matter how bad he wished it was true, the girl he'd saved before, she had to be dead. There was no way she could've survived. Not through both Lilith and Lucifer possessing her out of spite.

"No. He's on Earth. He's with my brother."

"He's with Samael?" Lucifer asked and Gabriel froze. Of course Lucifer knew. From the hazy clouded memories of Carthage he remembered the sister line and Lucifer talking to Mae.

"Yes." He lied, shivering slightly as a cold gust of wind tore across the space, for a moment Gabriel imagined Lucifer's _white_ wings spreading out behind her.

"Samael won't protect them, Gabriel. You will all suffer."

"I'm sorry." He apologized, throat closing because he realized he _meant_ it. He was sincerely sorry for Lilith. For helping cause her death. It was so very wrong. Apologizing to the damned devil. The creature that had all but destroyed his angel. But it was Lucifer. The one they'd wronged.

"You don't get to apologize, Gabriel. Not after everything." Gabriel stiffened at the closeness of her voice. "You _don't get to apologize_." Gabriel threw himself forward through the door, not thinking anything but, _run, flee, escape_. "Gaaabriel." Lucifer's voice rang across the space. "You're not getting away. Not again." Gabriel struggled to stop in his steps as that little girl with too familiar hair appeared inches in front of him, blocking the area between him and the car, he couldn't see Dalara or Arbor anywhere. "I'm going to _love_ tearing you apart, Gabriel Novak. I'm going to bask in the feel of your blood. Rejoice in it. Then, when you finally think you're free, when death succumbs, I'll bring you back. Over and over again. Death's my slave, Gabriel. You'll never be saved."

"Hey!" Lucifer paused, turning around as a blood covered Dalara came around the car. There was only a singular wound to her shoulder, it had to be Arbor's blood. Her expression gave away how bothered she was about the fight she had obviously just engaged in left her. Not that he could blame her. What would he have done if he was forced to kill someone wearing Sam's face? Cas' face?

"Dalara." The Archangel greeted, tone almost fond. "I'll be right with you. I have something to discuss with your-"

"You won't hurt m' brother." Dalara said carefully and in what Gabriel was sure was retaliation he was flying through the air, colliding with a car hard enough that he saw stars, searing pain shooting through his spine as he cried out.

"He's not your brother, Dalara." Lucifer responded easily as Gabriel tried to will his body to cooperate, to let him get up.

"You'd know?"

"I have three brothers. Brothers I love dearly."

"I've heard you've got a _lot_ more."

"They're different."

"Because they weren't made a' the same time as you? Or because they aren't _Archangels_. I know how ya think, Luci. Ya think yu'r superior. That y'ur loss makes ya better than the rest o' us. It ain't that simple. It's never been that simple."

Gabriel finally managed to push himself to his feet.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Dalara." Lucifer ground out, shifting into a familiar position he'd seen countless times on Dal. _Angry, defiant, superior._

"I do. 'cause I'm y'ur Vessel. 'cause I'm an arrogant li'l girl whose superiority complex is only matched by the devil 'erself."

 _I pray to Debriel, or Samuel, or Samael, or Balthazar._ He paused, considering for only a second. _Akobel! We need help!_

Wings fluttered right behind him as a hand landed on his shoulder, then he was being flown, his stomach dropped as the ground disappeared, then reappeared, under his feat.

There was a moment where panic flooded him, where he spun around and blindly threw his blade forward, it was a dangerous reaction but instinctual all the same. By the angel's luck, he had stepped back away from him. _Akobel._

"Wait." Gabriel turned and his blood ran cold. "You have to go back. You-"

"I cannot." Akobel said solemnly and Gabriel glared at the angel.

"What do you mean you _can't_?"

"Lucifer has her."

"Did she-"

"Dalara Valentine has not said 'yes'. I imagine she will, though."

Gabriel's heart sank.

_Samael, please bring my brother back to me. I need to talk to him. Lucifer has Dal._

Akobel stiffened next to him as wings fluttered. Gabriel turned to see Mae standing there.

"Mae, I will say this once. _Castiel._ " He emphasized his brother's name to the Archangel, pouring his irritation into the word.

Mae blinked at him, giving him a look that said 'you do not control me, child.'

A few seconds later her eyes flashed with white light and the entire demeanor changed as his brother took control.

Oh, he was pissed. By the look on his brother's face, he knew, and didn't even bother to look guilty. They were going to have a _long_ talk.

.-~*~-.

A silver tipped arrow flew through the air followed by an iron tipped one. A few seconds later Sam ducked down, dodging the lashing claws of an angry manticore.

"I remember killing you." Artemis taunted the creature as Sam threw himself away from the creature. In its anger it let out a roar and charged Artemis, giving Sam the advantage he'd been searching for. "You screamed like a little girl. Ares laughed about it for weeks. _At you._ " The goddess continued on as Sam threw himself onto the creature's back, driving his blade into the center of its spine. It let out an angry shriek that barely fit with the monstrous being and attempted to buck him off. Fortunately for him he had a firm hold on his blade and the same blade was lodged solidly in the creature's back.

"You poor baby!" Artemis laughed, firing off more silver and iron tipped arrows at the thing.

"Art, where the hell is the exit!" Dean demanded as he walked up to the creature, flaring his slowly wings behind him as the manticore finally collapsed to the ground.

"Close. I promise. Sammy, take his head! I'll mount it on my wall!" Sam glared at her from the back of the manticore, as he carefully climbed off the creature's back, watching the body disappear into dust. Sam rolled his eyes when Dean came over to him, checking him for injuries at a Grace level.

"I'm fine."

Dean ignored him, healing the large gash in his shoulder from where the manticore had bitten him.

"Aw, brotherly moments are so cute. If you don't move your asses I'm going to shoot you both with Cupid's arrow." The goddess warned and Dean turned to her, flexing his wings warningly. "Don't forget your place, Deb. Today I'm taking the lead."

To Sam's constant surprise of the relationship between the two Dean surrendered, bowing his wings and strolling over to the girl. "No." Artemis said sternly, taking a step back and Dean ruffled his feathers in clear annoyance.

"You're my favorite Vessel." He stated suddenly and she straightened her back, twirling her bow before strapping it to her back.

"And you're a horrible person."

"Archangel."

"God."

"Goddess."

Artemis laughed, a sharp laugh that turned into a fit of giggles that made Sam stared at her with mild concern.

"Have you been hanging around Dionysus?"

"Is he dead? No, he's not. Ass. We're an hour out. I think. The two of you are seriously messing with time here. It's always been so steady and the two of you show up." She spread her hands then clapped them together loudly.

"You've lost it."

"Lost everything but my virginity." Artemis grinned at him and he groaned.

"That's your issue. It's the twenty-first century. You need to get laid."

She snorted. "Virgin doesn't mean I've never had sex, Deb." She waggled her finger at him before spinning around, arming herself and drawing back a silver tipped arrow and firing it into the tree line, a distinct yelp came from where it landed. "Time to go, feathery friends. I sense rejection."

Sam frowned at the goddess as she strolled into the tree line. Dean shrugged and followed and Sam rushed after them, holding tight on his angel blade.

.-~*~-.

"She's coming!" Artemis shouted as the ground began shaking beneath them.

"Who is _she_?" Dean demanded.

"The _Mother._ Our _mother._ " Dean stiffened and flexed his wings out.

"The Mother of Monsters."

Sam recognized that. Vaguely. An old story that Dean had told them as fledglings. The first creature God had created that could reproduce. The Mother of Monsters and The False Gods

"You know her?"

"I trapped her." Dean answered, which was half true. Sam remembered Dean telling them that it had taken both him and Michael to kill her. Which was apparently inaccurate.

"Good to hear." Artemis answered dryly as she fired off an arrow straight ahead of them, the moment the arrow flew through a single point a vortex ripped open and she stepped back, moving closer to Dean.

"Time to go." He told her, wrapping arms and wings around the goddess and chanting Enochian, "I will protect you." A white light enveloped them and when it died down she was gone, but Sam could see her power pulsing at the center of his Grace, wound tightly into his Form like a Soul would do with companionable Grace.

For not the first time since meeting her Sam wondered just how long she'd been his Vessel for there to be that strong of a familiarity.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and _shoved_ and he was _falling._ On instinct phantom limbs spread and he fought against the current, writhing and fighting against it until finally it ejected him and he tumbled out into grass, sand, and twigs.

A moan of pain escaped him as he rolled onto his back, fresh tears in his Form and Vessel sharp and clear as day.

There was a sharp scent in the air around him, salty and pure nature. An island. Definitely an island. It took a moment but he finally gathered control of himself enough to rise to his feet, spreading his Grace through his body and Form to heal both and wincing as he brushed his scars. But they were scars. No longer open wounds that weren't healed or healing. As long as he didn't think on his lost wings too much he was almost back to being himself. If there was such a thing.

"I could kiss you!" Artemis' voice rang through the air and Sam turned to see her throwing herself into Dean's arms, hugging the Archangel tightly as he returned the hug, a concerned look on his face.

"I don't think your brother would appreciate that." He joked but there was an underlying hint of unease to his words. Artemis peeled herself away, narrowing her eyes at him.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." The Archangel lied, glancing over at Sam with a look that said the exact opposite.

"It's something. Don't think you can lie to me, Debriel of The One God. What is _wrong_?"

"Lucifer has his Vessel." The Archangel admitted after a moment. "Sam, we've been gone for more than a month."

Sam went rigid, _more than a month._ It had been a couple days max. It had to have been a couple days. It _couldn't_ be longer. Purgatory was like Heaven. It generally ran in time with Earth. He _couldn't_ have left that long.

"She hasn't consented." Dean added. Not that it mattered to him. Dalara was ready to say 'yes'. They all knew she was ready.

"Deb."

"Go to your brother, Art. I promise that if we need you we'll get you."

Sam was certain that if she had them, her wings would've fluffed their feathers out at that.

"You better, Deb. You just brought me forward a thousand years in time." Artemis wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down, pressing a kiss to his cheek, "The Greeks will stand with you should you need it." Then she disappeared in a puff of green god magic.

"Dean."

He swallowed audibly. "I know. Do you know where your boy toy is?"

Sam reached out with his Grace, ignoring the ache of phantom wings the best he could, and carefully pinpointing his Soul. It's there. Not as potent as it had once been, but still there. An ache in his Grace that screamed _love, protect, defend_.

His.

 _Gabriel._ He could feel the distress and anger, the panic and fear, it rolled off his Soul in waves, crashing into him with the force of an exploding star and it _hurt._

" _-needed you, Cas and you weren't there! You were off with your damned angel torturing babies or whatever the fuck the two of you do!"_

"Nebraska. Lincoln, Nebraska. Budget Motel. Room seven." Sam said almost absently, Gabriel's mind projecting his words strongly with what he was most likely saying out loud.

Sam let Dean's god power envelop him and they were soaring.

" _She was right there and you sat back and did nothing! She got her god damned hands on Dalara because you couldn't bother to check your prayers. No. Cas, don't even_ try _to defend her. She fucked us. Luci has Dal and there's nothing I can do to fix that except-"_

Sam and Dean landed in the room and Gabriel turned on them. Seconds later a white light ripped through the air and an angel screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter completely ran away from me. It started with one plan and somehow Lucifer showed up and it all tumbled apart. Not complaining. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading it. :)


	18. 17: Bar Trips and Near Misses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before this chapter starts. I completely forgot something I wanted to mention in the note last chapter. Artemis and Dean. I realized that I completely skimmed them when I wrote about her time as his Vessel but he possessed her for years. There was no way there wasn't a strong connection between them, and Artemis was a freaking goddess so there was no way she'd let Dean boss her around. So, yes, Artemis and Dean actually have a stronger relationship than he did with his True Vessel.
> 
> This is not how palm reading works. She's bullshitting him.

Gabriel grabbed his brother by his shoulders and yanked him away from Akobel's corpse. _His corpse._

_Fuck._

"What the fuck, Cas!" Gabriel demanded, meanwhile he began chanting. _Samael. Samael. Samael._ _in his head in an effort to make himself keep those memories._

"The hell!"

Gabriel shoved his brother back hard enough that he hit the floor.

"Dean, it's Samael!" Gabriel shouted, a look of betrayal crossed his brother's face, one he couldn't bring himself to care for. Quickly, Cas and Mae disappeared in a flutter of wings that was followed closely by another set. When Gabriel turned around Dean was gone and Sam was kneeling next to the now dead Akobel. His heart sank at the sight of the angel who had just saved his life lying lifeless on the floor, head cradled in Sam's lap.

Mae had just murdered him.

_Samael. Samael._

"Sam-"

"You lied to me, Gabriel."

The betrayal in his angel's voice broke his heart.

_No. Sammy, please._

"You brother was possessed, by Samael, and you knew. The same Samael that has killed _countless_ people… angels. Now…" Sam quivered with anger or sadness, Gabriel wasn't sure, all he knew was he'd fucked up.

"Sam-"

"Don't."

"Please, don't do this."

"My brother is dead, Gabriel. You do not seem to grasp just how few angels are left that I feel safe calling brother or sister. You should have _told_ me, Gabriel."

"I should've told you." Gabriel agreed. "But if I had you would've told Dean and Mae would've wiped my mind. So I made an impossible choice. I chose between keeping a single secret from you and losing my brother. I love you, Sammy. More than I should. But I love my brother too. I went to Hell for him." It was bullshit, Cas was _gone._ Had been for a while now. It was a horrifying realization, but it was true. The brother he knew, the brother he'd sold his soul for, he didn't exist. Not completely. The brother he'd lived with for years had been under heavy influence from Dean. More or less drugged, but protected, safe from himself.

The Cas he knew was dead.

Castiel and Samael were something else entirely. A dangerous time bomb of power and anger.

_Akobel is dead and it's my fault._

"I'm sorry." He whispered then walked to the door, opening it and stepping out.

His heart broke when Sam didn't stop him.

.-~*~-.

Castiel allowed Samael to envelop him in his Grace, curling into the contact as he tried to understand what had happened. Trying to understand why he'd killed that angel. They didn't kill without reason. They never killed blindly. Never. They killed to explore the functionality of different specimens, the placement of organs, which places in a body hurt more to cut into, how much Grace it would take to heal different injuries.

They didn't kill blindly. _"Why_ _?"_ Castiel sent all of the emotion into the question he could muster, trying to portray his confusion.

"Debriel." The Archangel answered, the name layered with fear.

Castiel wanted to tell his Archangel that he was safe. That Debriel would never hurt him. But he couldn't. He wouldn't lie to Samael. That was something he would never do.

 _"Don't take me from them again, Mae. Please don't do that."_ Samael wrapped their wings around them.

"Protect."

_"You can protect me without taking me from my brother. Please."_

Samael flexed their wings, cocooning his Grace around Castiel's Soul.

"Safe."

_"I'm safe, Mae."_

The Archangel's Grace lit in distress and they were flying before he knew what was happening.

 _Dean._ He could feel the familiar power behind them, the power that had contained and bound him for years.

It was the wrong thing to think about. The moment his Archangel caught it, Samael lit up with anger around him and stopped mid-flight, turning in an instant and throwing them directly into the other Archangel.

Castiel _felt_ the air rattle around them as the two Archangel's collided midair, one fueled with Pagan magic, one fueled with pure Grace.

_Samael._

"You don't want to do this, Samael!" Dean shouted as he threw himself backwards away from them as they dove for him, spreading twelve sets of wings widely behind them.

Samael responded in Enochian and Dean narrowed his eyes, retorting in the same language as Samael slammed into him, hard, pushing with all his might into the desolate landscape that once housed Jerusalem. Dust and debris spread out around them as they continued forcing their way into the Earth. Except-

A whistle came from the top of the crater they'd created and Samael spun them to see Dean standing there, staring down at them.

"Castiel, listen to me! Samael is dangerous. I don't know when you said 'yes' and I don't know why but you _need_ to throw him out!" Samael flared their wings, sending a wave of Grace outwards and Castiel could _feel_. Samael tightened himself around him, sending devotion and fear through the connection.

He would never cast Samael out. Samael was his Archangel. His and his alone.

" _Please._ " Samael relinquished base control as he flew them upwards, flapping strong wings as he moved them. "Dean."

Dean backed off as they approached.

"Don't do this, Cas."

"Don't do what? Be what I was meant to be? _Six years_ you led me along, made me into your _puppet_. So you could what? Prevent the end of the world? Or prevent this?" Castiel gestured to himself, to Samael.

"It was never like that, Cas. You knew that from the start." Dean threw himself backwards as Samael attempted to strike him, frustration crossing their connection. "I told you _from the start_ what I was offering."

"You didn't tell me everything! You didn't tell me you'd use and manipulate me!"

"I'm an asshole, Castiel. You _knew_ that from the moment I fucked you bloody." Dean ground out and Castiel recoiled as memories of that first night flooded him.

With those same memories Samael snapped, launching them forward and summoning their Archangel blade.

Castiel sent a warning across the connection a second too late. Castiel knew better. Knew Dean. Knew fighting. Samael didn't. Samael always reacted blindly. Everything was raw animalistic instinct.

Dean disappeared from in front of them and Samael _screamed_.

Somewhere in the background of his Archangel's screams he heard Dean apologize.

.-~*~-.

"Your strongest drink." Gabriel told the bartender, staring at his phone.

"Lady troubles?" The bartender asked and he glanced up at her, the woman was small, not the type he was used to seeing in this type of bar, she lacked the curves and height, but she was cute all the same. A soft expression, big clear blue eyes that contrasted her dark brown hair, and no makeup from what he could tell. Once he would've taken her home. Just to see what she'd do. Now, though. It was different.

"Half right."

She pouted childishly as she began to mix him a drink. "Cute ones are always gay."

"Half right again." He teased her and she hummed approvingly as she set the glass in front of him.

"Bi then." She grinned at his casual shrug. "I get that, man. Too much love in this world to be picky on what's below the belt. So tell me. What's going on in the home front?"

Gabriel shook his head, looking down at his drink. "Doesn't matter." _I got my boyfriend's brother killed._

"I won't tell." She added, crossing her heart and he laughed, finding some twisted irony in that.

"It's complicated." He finally said as he put the drink to his lips, taking a sip and wincing at the burn.

"I once dated the daughter of a mob boss and screwed around with her brother behind her back. It doesn't get more complicated than that."

Gabriel blinked, lifting his gaze to see a completely serious look on her face.

"You're serious." Of course his situation was more complicated than that, but how did one tell a civilian he got his angel boyfriend's angel brother killed by his Archangel possessed brother.

"Completely." She laughed and shook her head. "Stupidest shit I've ever done."

"Sounds like it." Of all the stupid things he'd done in his life that took the cake for it.

"Alright, sad boy. My shift ends in five minutes. You're going to wait right here and we're going to talk."

Gabriel opened then shut his mouth, nodding despite himself. Something in his gut told him this was a bad idea, but he was pretty sure it was guilt, which wasn't fair, so what if she was cute? He had plenty of self-restraint. He knew what commitment was and he wasn't going to screw things up worse than he already had. Being in a relationship didn't mean he wasn't allowed to talk to other people.

.-~*~-.

"My boyfriend is part of this crazy religious family. Super crazy. Like, the kinda Catholics that have a thousand kids and shun anyone that doesn't see things how they do."

"I imagine they took their gay son well." The bartender, appropriately named Angel because apparently that was his life, mused and he laughed.

"They hate me. Blame me for everything wrong in their lives. Actually, it's more like they blame the human race." It was almost sad how easy it was to spin the false tale while keeping the facts straight.

"They sound like a nasty batch."

"You have no idea. I'm not saying they're all bad. My brother dated one of his sisters and she was alright. And one of his oldest brothers gets along okay with me. The problem is the rest of them. One of his other sisters has my brother brainwashed into being her minion or some crap and they took off, I've been arguing with him, trying to reason with him because…she isn't good. She convinced him to…" Gabriel shut his mouth before he said something he couldn't take back, his grip tightening on his glass. "And Sam blames me for it. He's probably right too. I saw the signs but I ignored them." He took a heavy drink of his drink, not daring to look at Angel. He couldn't. It was dangerous waters.

"Hey." Gabriel flinched as she wrapped her hand around where his was holding the glass. "People die, Gabriel. If your boyfriend blames you for whatever screwed up thing your brother did, he's wrong." She said the last part quietly and he winced, of course.

"He's not wrong." Gabriel sighed, carefully prying his hand from hers. "And I'm not going to sleep with you."

"I know you won't." She rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand again earning an annoyed glare as she laid his hand flat on its back. "You see your palm. When I was running with the mob I passed time by reading palms. This here," She ran her finger across a line on his palm and he suppressed a shiver from the gentle touch, "Is your love line. You see how it breaks up here." She brushed her thumb against the start of the line that was ragged. "You used to sleep around a lot. But here." She followed the line to where it flattened out. "Now you're loyal. You love your boyfriend. See." She straightened her own hand, showing her own palm that held a very ragged line following the same area only hers didn't stop. "I fuck anything that moves and have cheated on anyone I've ever been in a relationship with. So while I'd love to have you fuck my brains out, or maybe the other way around, I know you're dedicated to him."

Gabriel frowned, looking at her suspiciously.

"You indirectly told me your brother killed someone and I didn't bat an eye. Are you really going to question my intentions here?"

Internally he flinched at that reminder. "Yes." He answered honestly and she grinned at him.

"Smart boy. Offer's on the table if you change your mind." She removed her hand from his and he relaxed. He wasn't that stupid. Couldn't be that stupid.

"It was his other brother." Gabriel said quietly as he took another drink, frowning slightly at the bitter taste.

"Ouch." She said, wincing and giving him a sympathetic look. "So your brother killed your boyfriend's brother after being brainwashed by your boyfriend's sister."

God his life sounded like a bad soap opera when she put it like that.

"More or less."

"I thought this was a religious family."

Gabriel laughed sharply and shook his head. "Almost nothing's scarier than some psychopath on a holy mission."

"I don't know. Murder? Brainwashing? Sounds culty to me. Then again, where's the line between cult and religion really drawn?"

And wasn't that the joke. His angel and his brothers and sisters were like a cult. Nothing like the religion they came from.

"It's all ridiculous." He said suddenly, rubbing his hands over his face and laughing. "God, they're all fucking insane. And the ones that are sane…they get the short end of the stick. And my brother and sister are both trapped and…" Gabriel groaned, pulling at his hair. "Fucking hell. His oldest sister kidnapped my sister. She's probably dead and…"

Gabriel didn't realize he was crying until arms wrapped around his shoulders and he was being hugged awkwardly from the side. _Fuck_.

"The world is full of crazies, Gabriel. You can't blame yourself."

Gabriel turned slightly, pressing his face into the girl's shoulder. _Damnit._ People weren't like this. People weren't sympathetic to strangers. People didn't cry into complete strangers shoulders. That wasn't how the world worked. Yet, he was there, crying into fucking _Angel's_ shoulder and fighting through a slight haze from the alcohol that shouldn't have been there yet. She couldn't be human. Humans weren't like this.

"What are you?" He asked, not realizing he'd opened his mouth.

"Just a woman." She gripped his shoulders, carefully prying them apart and pressing her left palm against his cheek. "You can't blame yourself."

"Who are you?" Gabriel asked as she took his drink from the table, never letting her gaze leave his as she pressed the drink to his lips.

He wanted to move, but he didn't. Couldn't. All he could do was open his mouth as she helped him take another drink.

"My name is Angel Montgomery. I'm human. I'm also able to skim thoughts and influence actions to an extent."

Gabriel swallowed the drink as she let him go, setting the drink to the side.

"I don't lie about important shit. What happened. That isn't your fault."

"I knew." He answered, unable to care that she was psychic or whatever. He'd dealt with worse. "I knew how dangerous Mae was and I didn't do anything."

"You couldn't have guessed something like that would happen." But he could've. He absolutely could've. All of the warning signs were there. And now one of the only angels on their side was dead.

"Look at me." Gabriel did as told. "Let's drink some more and you can forget your problems. Okay?"

Gabriel nodded slowly, allowing the small girl to wrap her arm around his shoulder.

This was a bad idea.

.-~*~-.

Dean stared at the unconscious body of Castiel where he was currently strapped to a chair. _Samael._

The warding enveloping the youngest Archangel was strong and despite the careful circle he'd constructed around the younger Archangel the power of the wards was still reaching out to try to suppress his own powers.

"Cas."

He was more than willing to admit he'd seriously fucked up with Cas. There were lines he had generally never crossed until the day he'd met the brothers. But he'd fucked up. Bad. Now, he was sure he wouldn't be able to fix it. Castiel had been swept away by the sensation of being a True Vessel. The singular oneness that nothing else could compare to. Dean knew firsthand how exhilarating it could be, even if he had long ago let his Vessel move on. It was a feeling only matched by the feeling of being with one's Soul.

"Debriel." Dean took a step back when he saw Samael looking at him, hostility and anger bleeding through the look.

"Samael."

"Let me go." The youngest angel spoke in Enochian and he shook his head. Raphael had destroyed the language sectors of the Archangel's Grace, Dean could see the lingering damage in him. It was like a neon sign screaming at him.

"I cannot, Samael."

"You hurt him! You harmed him! You had no right!" Samael yanked at the chains and Dean felt uneasy when he saw the metal try to bend.

These wards weren't strong enough.

"Samael, listen to me. I understand your mistrust but you have to listen to me."

"Let me go, Debriel. You threw me onto Earth. Left me there! I was so scared. Then I felt him dying. My Vessel. So very few words I knew. Some of the only words I knew of his tongue. _I can heal you. All I need is a 'yes'."_

_Words to gain consent. Words that would've come instinctively no matter the damage to his Grace._

_"You almost killed him. I kept him safe. You tortured him. I protect him. I am good. Allow me to leave, Debriel. He is mine."_

_"What will you do if I release you Samael?"_

_"Explore."_

_"Kill." Dean corrected and the Archangel shifted, glaring venomously._

_"I make them forget."_

_"That doesn't excuse murder, Samael!"_

_"Release me!" Dean stepped back as the first ward snapped, allowing the youngest Archangel to flare black and red wings behind him. Beautiful, glorious wings that glimmered despite the darkness of the warehouse they were in._

_Fuck._

_He had to make a choice._

_"You cannot keep killing."_

_"Why not?" The young Archangel asked as he yanked against the chains, the metal cracked audibly through the room, not completely snapped, but breaking. "They are just lives. Human, animal, monster, angel. Why does it matter?"_

_"Because they're lives, Samael. They aren't yours to take."_

_"Says who? Your Father?" Samael taunted him._

_"Says morality." Dean snapped back. "Does Castiel know why you kill, Samael? Did you tell your Vessel why?"_

"He knows."

"Castiel doesn't know Enochian, little brother. All he knows is you murder anything and everything you see. How do you know he isn't afraid of you?"

Samael didn't answer, Grace radiating pain and fear. Dean could see as Samael enveloped Cas' Soul closer to him. If there was one thing clear, it was that Samael adored Cas, and that the sentiment was returned.

"When I am free, I am going to kill you, Debriel."

The worst part was, Dean believed him. Dean knew he could handle Michael and Lucifer at full strength, probably couldn't beat either. Raphael was easy, but Samael was different. Samael attacked on raw instinct and Dean had seen the intuition in the Archangel's expression when he'd used his anger against him before. It was a mistake he wouldn't make twice. Samael was powerful. Extremely powerful. Dangerous and vicious. He learned quickly and retained information like no other creature he had encountered.

"Cas, if you're in there." Dean returned to English, much to the dismay of Samael. "Both Michael and Lucifer want him _dead_. You need our help."

Then Dean fled, not willing to risk fighting Samael. Not yet. It was far too risky to risk the younger Archangel getting free. Moments later he touched down in that motel room he'd left them.

Sam was there, Akobel's corpse settled into the blankets of a spare bed, and Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. If it wasn't for the situation Dean might've been concerned, but Gabriel hadn't told them and now Akobel was dead.

"Sam."

"Did you find them?"

"Yes."

"You let them go."

"I wouldn't be able to win against Samael."

"She killed Akobel!"

"Sam-"

" _No_. Samael has to die. Lucifer has to be dealt with. The world is in the balance, Dean. We fucked up and now _you_ have to fix it. You're the _only_ Archangel that can."

It was a good pep talk. A great idea. Dean the savior. _Debriel the savior._ The Archangel to reunite Heaven. A great picture. Except he'd been back in Heaven and he knew better. The angels that were once loyal to him were far and few between now. Most didn't remember him due to Naomi's meddling. The ones that did had fled after they helped him break out of Heaven.

It was a great picture, but it wasn't going to work.

"I'm sorry, Sam. It won't be that easy."

"You let her go. Why did you let her go?"

"I couldn't kill her."

"You wouldn't."

Dean sighed heavily, walking over to the bed that held Akobel's body. He pressed a hand to the dead angel's forehead and sent him away.

"You're a coward."

"Maybe I am." Dean allowed, not willing to fight with Sam.

"Go."

"No, Sam. I'm not leaving you here to mope."

"I'm not moping."

"Father, help us." Dean sat down on the bed Akobel had been in and flipped on the TV, flipping on the cartoon Alice In Wonderland and lounging back against the headboard. Sam glared at him from the other bed as though the glare could make him go away. He snapped his fingers and smiled slightly when his younger brother caught sight of the bowl of gummy worms on the bedside table. Dean had picked up quickly on the relevance of Gabriel's new gummy worm obsession.

"Watch the movie. When Gabriel shows up drunk off his ass he'll be on his knees begging you to forgive him."

"I'm not forgiving him."

"Yes you will." Dean sighed, "He did what he did because he wanted to protect his brother. It was a stupid choice, but we all make those choices."

Sam didn't defend the subject because they both knew he was right. Even if it wasn't for the Soul thing, Gabriel hadn't done anything worse than what they would've done.

.-~*~-.

The first thing Gabriel realized when he woke up was he was in nothing but his boxers. The second thing he noticed was his pounding hangover headache.

The third was what made him tumble onto the floor in a panic. The bed. The bed that was way too soft to be any bed he'd slept in since he met Sam. It was soft and cushioned and- _fuck_.

His memory was foggy but there was the distinct memory of a cute girl in a bar. A girl that had been straightforward about her attraction to him and…

_I didn't. I wouldn't have been that stupid._

Gabriel struggled with his thoughts as a groan came from the bed.

That's…

Gabriel stared dumbfounded at the side of a blonde man sitting up.

_What the fuck?_

Gabriel definitely didn't remember a blonde man. Had she drugged him? His stomach churned at that idea. It had been years since he'd been drugged into having sex. After the incident after his dad died he'd kept a close eye on his drinks when he went out.

The man blinked at him, narrowing green eyes suspiciously. "Who are you and what are you doing in my bed?"

_What?_

There was no hostility or anger. No real apprehension. Just a question asked like 'why is it raining?'

"Um…" He answered stupidly.

"Dylan!" A perky voice came from the doorway and he winced at it. "You scared my guest!"

"You put him in our bed." The man answered, huffing a breath of annoyance.

Gabriel was so fucking confused.

"Mandy was using the guest room getting high and he was so drunk he couldn't walk. So, yeah, I put him in the bed. Doesn't give you the right to scare him."

"Whatever. I told you to keep your boy toys to the guest room, Angel."

"I didn't fuck him, Babe."

"We didn't?" He blurted and the man seemed to acknowledge his presence again, sympathy expression crossing his face.

"Sorry about that. No. I told you I'd honor your relationship status. Then you got blackout drunk. I didn't have a clue where to take you and you were gone to the world."

"So you brought me to your house."

"Yes."

"And put me in your bed with your…boyfriend?" He guessed and she shrugged. Like putting some random guy from a bar in the bed with her boyfriend was not at all weird. Who the hell was this chick?

"I couldn't put you on the couch. Chernobyl was asleep on it."

"God, help me." The man –Dylan- sighed heavily, shaking his head and a smile quirked on her lips. "Angel, explain to him and I'll make us breakfast."

"Fine, fine." She rolled her eyes as Dylan got to his feet, running fingers through his hair as he walked to the door, leaning down and kissing Angel on the top of the head as he walked.

"What the hell?" He asked to no one in particular and she strolled over, offering her hand. Unsure why, he took it and allowed her to help him to his feet.

"I have a feeling you don't remember much of last night. Well, long story short we talked about your angel troubles and you got drunk off your ass. I brought you here. My fiancée and I are in an open relationship because I'm a slut and he's a manwhore. We love each other of course. Just love sex. And a lot of it."

"So…that's why he wasn't surprised?"

"I bring partners back all the time. Love to confuse the ever living fuck outta them. Sometimes he'll even play pissed off husband. It's hilarious."

"Okay." Yeah, he didn't get it. He was confused to high hell. "Where are my clothes?"

"Dryer. Should be out soon. You spilled Coke all over them."

"Coke?"

"o-Cola. I don't condone drug use. Except pot. You want to shower?"

"No, I'm fine." He lied, in truth her ridiculous ease in the situation was making him more and more uncomfortable. He was relieved he hadn't had sex but…

"Alright, well let's eat. Then I can get you back to your motel."

"I-"

"Bathroom is right out here."

Five minutes later he was sitting at a dining room table with a German Shepherd head in his lap and a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him.

"Mandy! Get your ass out here!" Angel shouted as she slumped into the seat next to him. "Eat. You're hungover."

"She's right." Dylan sat across from him as a teenage blonde skipped into the room, almost the spitting image of her mother. Gabriel wrinkled his nose as the smell of skunk filled the room.

"What have I told you about pot in the dining room?" Angel scolded the teenager as she slid into the seat next to her mother, setting the small bong on the table and giving him an uninterested look.

"You get to bring your toys to the table I get my pot at the table." The teen responded as she picked a piece of bacon off the center of the table.

"Human being Trumps pot, little girl." Dylan grabbed the bong before she could snag it back, setting it to the side.

"And I didn't fuck him. God. What do you people think I am?"

"A whore." The daughter answered bluntly as she shoved bacon in her mouth and Dylan didn't bother defending her.

"Fine fine. Yes. I'm a whore. I didn't fuck him, though. Now let's pretend to be civil human beings."

The daughter snorted at that, like the idea was preposterous . Were the fiancée and daughter human? Or was that overexposure to the hunting world talking?

"Yes. But we're playing human today." Gabriel blinked and Angel grinned over at him as she shoveled a mouthful of eggs into her mouth, swallowing heavily. "This is my daughter Mandy. My fiancée, Dylan, and the wannabe dog sniffing your crotch is Chernobyl."

The wording set off earning bells in his brain and he instinctively shoved the animal's face away from his lap, earning a whine of protest from the creature as it blinked big green eyes at him before circling around the table and sitting next to Mandy.

"Go eat your own food, Cher." The teenager bit out, not taking her focus off her food.

"So…you're human."

"Mostly." Angel answered. "Psychic and all that. Mandy's my miracle baby. I conceived her after I was declared infertile. Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

"Fuck off."

Angel grinned at her daughter. "Love you too. Dylo's a skinwalker like his pain in the ass little perv of a brother."

The dog barked a laugh at them as Dylan tossed a piece of bacon at his face.

"This is Gabriel. My not boy toy. He's in a thing with an angel."

Dylan paused, raising an eyebrow. "That's different."

"I love him." Gabriel said before he could stop himself and the teenager snorted, shaking her head.

"Don't be a bitch, Mandy." Angel chastised.

"God forbid I'm rude to the man that showed up in my house and interrupted my little time to get high before school." The teenager laughed sharply as though there was an underlying joke to what she said before shoving out of the table and grabbing the plate with her. "Cher, I'll share." The dog jumped up with a bark, running around and snagging the bong off the floor before Dylan could protest, carrying it carefully in his teeth as he tailed after the teen.

"Behave yourself!" Angel shouted after the girl as she disappeared.

Gabriel was ready to leave he realized. More than ready. He needed to go to Sam and apologize. Beg for forgiveness.

"I'll start the car." Angel said before he could ask and he was grateful. "Babe, grab his clothes." A few minutes later he was fully dressed and in a small green Volkswagen bug driving towards the city, a final glance at the decent sized house met him with the sight of Mandy standing in the window watching them go.

Gabriel had to look away when he was certain she impossibly met his gaze.

_Creepy teenage girl. Check._

The entire incident was troublesome and if Angel heard it in his head she didn't comment. Something about that made it worse.

"I hope I didn't freak you out too bad."

"You didn't." He lied.

"Yes, I did. I always do. The way I live freaks people the fuck out. Which is fine."

"Okay. Yes. You are one of the strangest families I've ever met. But it's not a bad thing. I used to fuck anyone that moved when I was younger, and who knows? If I had the choice, maybe I'd be like you."

"Probably not. But I stand by what I said. If you're ever up for it, let me know. Or even a threesome. Dylo thought you were hot as fuck."

"Wouldn't have guessed that."

"Yeah, I know. He can seem like a stick in the mud. But he's as wild in bed as a jackrabbit." She tightened her grip on the wheel. It occurred that while he wasn't interested in sex with her, Dal might be. If he managed to save his sister…

"I'll give you my number." Gabriel chuckled, looking over at the woman.

Yes. He would get on his knees and beg his angel to forgive him, then they would find Samael and Cas before they crossed a point of no return, whatever that point was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a secret in this chapter. That's all I'll say.


	19. 18: The Problem With Michael

Sam was apprehensive when Gabriel showed up. Dean was something else entirely. Dean flipped his lid and shoved him into the wall demanding to know where the fuck he'd been.

Which had ended in a standoff between Sam and Dean, the Archangel livid.

"How the fuck do you not sense that, Sam! Where _were you_ , Gabriel!"

Gabriel stared at the livid expression, trying to comprehend his reaction. It would've made a whole lot more sense coming from Sam.

"The man and the woman? I sense it." Gabriel froze as realization dawned on him. Oh _fuck._

"Sam, I-"

"Not _that_." Dean cut him off angrily. "It's _Him_." The room went silent and Sam turned slowly to face him. The look on Sam's face and the way Dean said it told him exactly who 'He' was.

 _Him._ God? What the fuck was he talking about?

"Gabriel, where were you?" Sam asked slowly, caution and weariness sweeping his expression.

"I was…outside town. This house out there. It was-" Dean disappeared in a flutter of feathers and Sam shifted his gaze away.

"I don't want to know." Gabriel wanted to rip his hair out. Last night had been a terrible idea. Officially a horrible idea. And he couldn't even try to grasp the concept that he'd apparently been around God because Sam clearly thought he'd fucked someone else last night.

"You aren't even going to ask."

"It doesn't matter."

Gabriel flinched at the empty tone. At how easy it was to believe he'd cheat.

"It does matter. I know it does. It has since the moment you met me. I saw the look on your face after I fucked Arbor. I know it matters. I know how fucking possessive you are. Don't you _dare_ pretend you don't care."

Sam's eyes flashed with that beautiful angelic glow that had begun haunting his dreams.

Then he was being pushed up against the wall and Sam was kissing him just a little too hard. All Gabriel could do was submit to the angel's onslaught, wrapping his arms around the taller man and pulling himself closer.

"I didn't." Gabriel whispered, tilting his head to the side as Sam trailed biting kisses down his neck. _Fuck._ "Sam, I love you. I would sacrifice this damned planet for you. I _didn't_ fuck her. I swear to you."

"I believe you." Sam didn't let him go but pulled his head back so they were staring eye to eye.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I fucked up. So damned bad."

"I know. We have all made mistakes." Sam kissed him again and he tightened his hold on his angel's neck. _His._ "You're forgiven, Gabriel." The angel whispered like a prayer.

.-~*~-.

Dean flew the outskirts of the city, seeking out the image he'd seen in Gabriel's head. It wasn't there. The house, all of it was _gone._ But he was sure. Under the presences of skinwalkers and a demon blood infected human _He_ had been there. A brush of energy so light that it wasn't a surprise Sam had missed it.

Dean was pissed. He had finally shown His face, but for what? To fuck with him? To taunt him? It wasn't an accident that that Dean had been picked up on that energy. If it was there, He had left it on purpose.

"God! Asshole!" He shouted to nothing, landing in an empty field and flaring his two wings. "What was the point of You showing Your face!" Dean spun around but no miracle happened. Nothing to signal He was listening. But He was there. He was still around. " _Why_?" Dean stood in that field for a solid hour, listening to the rushing of the wind, letting his anger build and burn in him.

What did He want? What did He gain from this? _Why why why?_

"Nothing." Dean turned to see a familiar stout man. "He gains nothing, Debriel. That's why He does what He does."

It took a moment before he finally recognized the man. It had been a few years, but he'd seen The King of The Crossroads before. Around the time the demon had overthrown his predecessor.

"Crowley."

"It's been a while."

"Do me a favor and tell your boss I said for him to fuck himself. I don't need him eavesdropping on me."

"I don't work for Lucifer."

"How-" Dean froze as he tuned the rest of his senses in on the demon in front of him. As he focused his limited Grace on the atoms of the Vessel. Even in this state, he was powerful enough to see if he _looked_.

"Michael."

"Close." The Crossroads King's head drooped for a fraction of a second before his posture changed subtly, the kind of subtle he wouldn't have caught if he wasn't looking closely. If he wasn't familiar with it. "Hello, Debriel."

Dean took a step back from his eldest brother, unable to be surprised but at the same time unable to believe. Michael was sharing a Vessel. _Sharing._ Sharing like he'd seen Samael and Cas share. The way he had shared with Artemis at the end. In a way most angels were incapable of.

It wasn't possible.

Except it was. If they had a close bond, it was completely possible.

"My Soul." Michael answered the unspoken question. The question he had _known_ the answer to. One of the most unspeakable acts. Something no angel was ever meant to do. Lucifer had _Fallen_ for a lesser act. Or was it worse?

Dean wanted to launch himself at the other Archangel. Wanted to drive his blade through a wing or a shoulder of his Vessel but he _couldn't._

It was a clever defense mechanism. Ingenious. Who in their right mind would ever suspect _Michael_ as King of The Crossroads? As a _demon_. And even smarter, no angel would dare attack his Soul. A perfect Vessel. Dean's Grace ached at the longing for Elizabeth. _His Soul_.

"I know, Debriel." His elder brother smiled sympathetically and his Grace fought with him, reaching for Heaven, where _she_ was.

"You have no idea. What are you doing here?" He forced restraint on his Grace before he did something stupid. Before he walked back into Heaven.

"My reason, or his reason?"

Dean frowned.

"I didn't want to get involved. Too much of a risk. But Fergus had other ideas. If our lovely sister is out of the picture, we can take over Hell. Who am I to deny him of the throne?"

"The Ruler of Heaven. You are the damned _Ruler of Heaven, Michael._ "

"And you're the Mother of The Angels, Debriel. You don't see me shoving it in your face." Dean hated that title. It was ridiculous. He was a drill sergeant at best. Not a mother. They had one parent, their Father.

"The one that deserted them."

"And what did I do?"

"Take a break. It's simple, Debriel. Neither of us will kill our horribly wronged sister."

"Brother."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "Lucifer identifies as a female now."

"You're all my brothers."

"You endlessly fascinate me, Debriel. But you're changing the subject. Neither of us will kill Lucifer and both Gabriel and-"

"Just Gabriel." Dean interjected and Michael nodded, unsurprised. Had he known the whole time?

"Gabriel wants us to kill her. Neither of us will."

"Raphael says he will." Dean watched his brother for a reaction to that, disappointed at the lack of one.

"Lucifer will rip Raphael apart. Especially once his Vessel says 'yes'."

That was something bothering him. The fact that Lucifer had yet to take his True Vessel. They all knew he had her, yet he hadn't possessed her.

He really needed to talk to Gabriel. Clearly more was going on than Samael revealing himself.

"You don't plan to help."

"I had no intentions. However, Fergus has swayed my mind."

"Other words, he forced you."

"Convinced. Due to years of sharing a Vessel with my Soul I possess a level of restraint than none of you do."

Dean knew bullshit better than almost any creature. He was the god of the protectors of humanity, aka hunters, and that was part of the job description.

"Keep telling yourself that. Why are you here and not passing the information to Gabriel?"

"They aren't exactly fond of Crowley and Gabriel doesn't trust me to assist them." Michael admitted.

"But he's your True Vessel."

"Exactly."

Of course it made sense. Gabriel generally did what he did for his own benefit, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for family, so the idea of Michael helping them against Lucifer was ridiculous.

"What's the plan then?"

"We won't kill Lucifer. Raphael is going to get himself killed trying to being me back."

"Why?" Michael grimaced at the question, the inevitable question. Dean didn't need to specify because Michael already knew.

"After you left it all fell on me. Raphael was a cover. While he was wrapped up in…what I was giving him, he was willing to be responsible for Heaven while I traveled to Earth, while there I indulged. Frequently. Raphael was either stupid or chose to ignore it. Eventually I began to build my first Vessel and learned to ward its atoms. I completely buried myself."

"Which is why I can't see you."

"Unlike you, I perfected my Vessel's warding. I recognized you the moment you met Fergus."

"I suppose ratting me out would've been a bit hypocritical."

"Nothing in Heaven for you but pain and bad memories. It hardly matters now. You're barely a Seraph."

"Power shortage doesn't make me less."

"I stand by what I said. While you may have handled yourself against Raphael without your Grace, we are talking about Raphael at his weakest."

Dean didn't respond, hating the smug look on the other Archangel's face and the knowledge that he was right. Dean was barely at full power and he currently had no way to fix that without returning to Heaven.

"How are we going to handle Lucifer?"

"We're going to bring Lilith back." Dean opened then shut his mouth, staring at Michael as though he'd completely lost his mind. That wouldn't work. Would it?

.-~*~-.

Dalara moaned weakly, pulling her knees to her chest before rethinking it as another wave of nausea hit her.

"You should eat." Lucifer stood at the outside door of her cell, a steak dinner settled on the table and smelling all too appealing outside the door.

"No." She muttered, stomach churning, self-preservation protesting angrily at her refusal.

"I told you before, Dalara that I would never harm you. I will never take your consent unless you're truly willing. But I want to discuss the change of heart."

"Ya know why."

Lucifer sighed heavily, appearing at her side and kneeling before her, resting a hand on her shoulder and despite everything Dalara took comfort in the contact.

"It wasn't real, Dalara. None of it."

"That doesn't change nothin'. I felt it. I _saw_ it. I _lived_ it. That girl y'ur hounds killed, I adored 'er."

"The girl you're referring to was resurrected by Samael, Dalara. Or did your _loving_ brother forget to tell you?"

"I was there when 'e found out. It don't change nothin'."

"Say 'yes' and I will give you the world, Dalara. Say 'yes' and I'll give you your Lilly back. I promise you. Just one word and it will all be yours."

"And the rest o' the world?" Dalara asked, because despite everything she actually fucking cared now. An experience she hated. Caring about anything other than Lilly was a miserable foreign concept that she _hated_ Samael for. While she had years of memories that made her care for Gabriel, she held no sentiment towards Castiel. Not in the least. Castiel was the brother of her brother. Nothing else.

"You know the answer to that."

"He's m' brother."

"Gabriel and Samuel _destroyed_ the woman I love, Dalara. It could be God Himself and it would change nothing. They _will_ suffer for their crimes. I _will_ destroy Gabriel."

"Then m' answer remains. No."

"You're being unreasonable."

"Comin' from the mouth o' the Queen. Y'u're kiddin' me right, Luci? Ya killed how many li'l angels 'cause one fucked up?"

The grip on her shoulder tightened and she flinched away, not because it hurt but because she knew she was pushing her luck.

"They expected me to give them the very thing I would never have again."

"And I thought my justifications fo' murder were ridiculous."

"You don't seem to comprehend your situation currently, Dalara."

"I do. I'm sittin' in a cell with the devil 'erself while she wears m' niece and asks t' ride 'round inside me."

"I've been patient with you because I'm sympathetic. That won't last forever."

"I'll be waitin' when ya change y'ur strategy."

Dalara wanted to cry in relief as Lucifer's Grace spread through her, healing all of her residual injuries and fixing the lingering damage from Alistair's assault on her what felt like a lifetime ago.

"You're welcome, Dalara."

Then she was alone in the small cage.

 _'I feel ridiculous doing this but fuck it. What do I have to lose? Dear, God. I'm a faithless heartless cunt. I'm aware. I have to ask. Not for me. I'm probably going to die here. Repeatedly. I don't have the restraint to keep saying 'no'. I'm asking for them. This crap planet with these crap people don't deserve this and you know it. Lucifer doesn't deserve it. Heaven doesn't deserve it._ Fix. Your. Mess. _Before one of your Archangels destroys the world. We're_ your _creations. You don't get to bail just because you're disappointed. That ain't how the world works.'_

"Amen." She added out loud, closing her eyes as the cage door creaked open.

Maybe He would listen. Maybe He wouldn't. Hopefully her bitter honesty had some sort of effect.

"It's time to play a game, Dalara. I know how much you love my games."

Dalara froze at Alistair's icy voice coming from the front of her cage.

"This one's called pin the wings on the Fallen Angel until he squeals like a pig." Despite her better instincts she opened her eyes to see Alistair less than a foot in front of her, a large metal cross being carried in by two low level demons.

_Found him._

Her stomach churned at the sight of the bloody and branded angel strapped to the cross, the brands distinctly were meant to represent angel wings.

"Balthazar." She breathed out, knowing already where this was going and hating the thread of excitement that sparked to life under her skin.

.-~*~-.

"Oh for the love of God." Dean quickly transported himself outside the motel room door and beat loudly on the door.

"Considering the time you've spent with them I'd imagine you know better."

"Go away!" Gabriel's muffled voice came from the other side of the door.

"Sam, you have one minute to get decent." Dean warned before moving his attention to Michael. "They usually keep it to dreams."

"Ah, the dreams. Is that where it began for you, Brother?"

"You know it is."

"Just making small talk while we wait for them to finish."

"You don't want them to know, do you?"

"I'd prefer they didn't. The moment he finds out I'm Crowley he's going to be pissed."

"What did you do?"

"Before my loyalties were changed Fergus may have led them into believing The Colt could be used to kill Lucifer. It led to the deaths of both Ellen and Jo Harvelle, though Jo was resurrected by our little sister Ellen wasn't given the same treatment."

Dean winced at that revelation. Ellen was dead?

"Ah, yes. I forgot your soft spots for hunters. If it's a consolation, I made sure that the hellhounds didn't drag either of their Souls to Hell."

It was a time of war, it didn't make it easier, but Dean was willing to let it go. Of course he knew that Gabriel wouldn't be quite as willing.

"Let's keep the information to ourselves for the time being."

"Gladly." Michael straightened his back as a disheveled Gabriel opened the door, glaring at Dean.

"Couldn't have given us an hour?"

Dean rolled his eyes as Gabriel rubbed the dark spots lining his neck.

"Sam's a rough little fucker, isn't he, Gabriel?" Gabriel blinked, noticing Crowley for the first time. The change was instant as Gabriel threw himself at the demon blindly, completely unarmed.

"You asshole! What the fuck do you think-" Gabriel turned as Michael easily transported himself in the room, cleverly passing the spot under the mat at the doorway where Dean sensed a Devil's Trap.

"I did warn you, Gabriel. Hello, Moose."

"Why did you bring a demon, Dean?" Sam asked from inside the room as an angry Gabriel stormed in after him, but didn't attack the demon, choosing to join his angel's side at the bed as Dean stepped in and shut the door behind him.

"Unlike you I have been trying to find a solution to our problem."

"Our problem." Gabriel repeated dryly.

"I've told you I'm on your side."

"Forgive me if I'm doubtful."

Sam watched Michael closely, looking between him and Dean with obvious suspicion. That was the issue with trusting a 'demon'. The mistake with Nex had cost Sam his wings. Had forced Dean to cut them off himself. The chance that he made that mistake again was slim.

"Dean."

"I know he's a demon, Sam. But he's not a risk."

"Not a risk. Like Nex wasn't a risk?"

"I knew Nex was a risk. I fucked up when I didn't keep a closer eye on her. This is different."

"Unlike you and your little brother Dean here thought things through. We made a Deal." Dean shot a disturbed look at his brother that he couldn't quite help.

Except it wasn't his brother anymore. The subtle change showed it was Fergus. For his or Michael's benefit he wasn't sure but he was able to latch onto the lie with a bit more ease. Honing his skills as the god of hunters he quickly flipped his disturbed look to annoyed.

"Wait…you kissed him?" Gabriel, as witty as ever.

"You made a deal with a demon." Sam didn't sound like he believed him.

"No, I didn't." Dean denied, glaring at his brother's Soul. Fergus just smiled back smugly.

"Here." He pulled an iPhone from his pocket and tossed it to Sam who caught it on reflex. Dean's eyes widened and he transported himself behind his younger brother, snagging the phone from his hand.

"What the fuck, Crowley?" Dean demanded, barely remembering the alias as he shot a withering glare from the phone that showed an impossible kiss between them to the other man.

"Don't be so surprised, Princess." Except he was completely surprised and more than slightly disturbed. "Angels are more difficult to Deal with. Had to back it up with visual evidence."

Despite his wishes he allowed the phone to disappear from his hand. A low level angel couldn't outrank King of The Crossroads power wise. By appearances, that's all he was and 'Crowley' was playing dumb. He moved from next to Sam, leaning against the wall by the TV and keeping his wings and physical reactions under control.

_Asshole._

"Angels don't have Souls. How can one make a demon deal?"

"I do have a Soul. Which means I risked it all to make a binding contract with The King of the Crossroads." Dean fought back the sick feeling that followed that lie. Hated the disturbed sound that came from both Sam and Gabriel at the lie.

"De-"

"If Lucifer wins he'll destroy them all anyway." Dean responded toneless, thinking of dark hair and loving eyes. _Liz. I'm sorry._

Sam stared at him, expression unreadable.

"Can angels do that?" Gabriel asked, breaking an uncomfortable silence.

"You belong to your angel in every form of the word. Of course they can sell you. Of course no angel is stupid enough to do it. Take his word over mine. If he's willing to risk his Soul being drug down to Hell from her cozy little spot in Heaven, he trusts my plan."

"Dean." Dean refused to meet his younger brother's gaze. _"Dean."_ That time his voice rang across his Grace, _Damnit._

Dean latched onto that tangible piece of Pagan magic and flew, grabbing Sam and touching down in a nearby empty lot.

"Who is he?" Sam demanded and Dean flinched away from the glare. "You would never sell her. _Who is he?_ "

"Sammy, do you trust me?"

His brother paused, staring at him for a moment with an unreadable look. "It's Michael."

"The last person on the planet Gabriel will ever trust to be helpful."

"Michael is a demon." Wasn't that the joke too? Michael, of all of the Archangels in Heaven, had taken up hiding as a damned demon. Not just any demon either. The damned King of the Crossroads.

"Michael and his Soul are a demon. I know you hate it but he has a good plan. If it works, Lucifer won't have a reason to come after you or Gabriel anymore and we can focus on Raphael...and Samael." Yet again Samael had slipped from his memory.

"And if Michael is just pulling you along?"

"Samael, Raphael, and Lucifer are all ready to destroy the world. You wanted an Archangel on your side. I fucked up. I couldn't stand against Lucifer if I wanted to. Michael is almost as strong as he can get." Not that Michael intended to get his hands dirty. Apparently him and the eldest had that in common. Did it have to do with their war based creation? Michael the general and Dean the drill sergeant. Internally he recoiled at those terms. That was never who he wanted to be.

_Debriel the mother._

"I can't keep this from him."

"I never told you to keep it from him. You just have to think about the consequences of him knowing."

It was wrong to suggest. Gabriel had just done the same thing with Samael. However, he wasn't sure Gabriel would trust Michael. Ever.

"I understand the consequences."

Dean nodded slowly, grabbing his younger brother and flying them back to the motel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Yes. Lucifer has had Balthazar for a while now. I considered having him living peacefully in Europe somewhere but then I reconsidered. It just wouldn't fit well since Balthazar worked with them to kill Lilith and during his time being tortured Sam would've no doubt given that information up.
> 
> Also, I had to fact check this chapter. Alistair was never actually killed. I thought he had been, but nope.


	20. 19: An Archangel's Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a scene in this chapter revolving around the Bible. It doesn't sound in the least bit biblical and my excuse for that is Gabriel's short attention span and not at all my lack of interest in writing biblically styled.
> 
> WARNING: This chapter includes a section of Alistair coercing Dal into torturing Balthazar.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: As we know Dal has almost no limits so she does kill herself in this chapter. As we all know she can't stay dead but better that I warn you.

There were rules that Dalara abided by. Rules that kept her in control.

One. _Kill enough to contain the demon without losing yourself to the blood rage._

Two. _You are not human. You will never be human again. Do not let yourself think otherwise._

Three. _Remember Lilly. Lilly was strong. Lilly was human. Lilly loved you for you, not the monster you became._

Four. _Never let yourself believe you are good. You are a stain on existence. You are neither good nor evil. Just a creature that exists. Your priority is survival and you should never take sides._

They were simple rules that she had followed to the letter for years until the day she met Gabriel. The lines always blurred with that. The moment she meant her brother it all changed. It changed because she picked a side. For better or worse. She chose a side. She broke the fourth rule.

In the timeline she met her brother earlier, she broke the second rule. She allowed herself to think she was human.

Dalara never forgot Lilly.

Now, under the coaxing words of Alistair, she was struggling with the first rule.

_Kill enough to contain the demon without losing yourself to the blood rage._

The word kill was ambiguous. It meant torture, maim, stab, punch, or anything along those lines. All generally violent acts.

"What did morals ever do for you, Dalara? How many times must I remind you that it _doesn't_ matter?" Dalara wouldn't have looked if it wasn't for the demon powers prying her eyes open, making her watch as the white-eyed-demon drove a rusty knife into the Fallen Angel, eliciting a scream that she was reluctant to admit sent a pleasant chill down her spine. That tugged on her twisted Soul. Every single scream. Every cry of agony.

"Let go, Dalara."

"No." She responded. ' _I'm sorry, Balthazar.'_

Blue eyes met hers from across the room, the look was tired. Not angry. Just tired. They had never been on good terms before, they'd only met briefly. It wasn't her fault he was there and he knew that. It gave her a bit of peace to know he wasn't blaming her. Maybe he was even internally commending her for not saying 'yes'. Probably not. But it was steadying. They all thought she'd say 'yes'. Almost no one knew she was saying 'no'.

_Bobby Singer. Gabriel Novak._

Names she never had before. People that she could turn to. Maybe Bobby hated her and maybe Gabriel was only barely able to be called a friend but they had tried to help her.

' _Samuel, Angel of The Lord, I don't think you can hear my prayers but…tell my brother I'm holding out. But I won't be able to for long. I'm sorry.'_

"Let's start slow. Like the first time." Alistair decided, crossing the space between them and pressing the blood drenched blade into her palm.

_The demon can't say 'yes'._

Dalara wrapped her fingers around the blood drenched blade handle, basking in the feeling.

It would take time, not a lot of it but it would take time. It would delay them in the least. It would give _her_ a short break from the pushes for 'yes'. Give her a break from Alistair's tempting offers of torture.

It would be a short escape. A short rush of freedom while the demon controlled her body.

' _Please.'_ The plea was vague, and she wasn't sure who she was praying to, but she needed help.

"If you try to stab me with that knife I will cut your hand off." Alistair warned, it was a pointless warning. That wasn't her plan.

' _Lilly, who art thou in Heaven. I love you. It's pointless to pray to Souls. I know that. I just have to say it. I have to have you know. You are everything. I love you.'_

In a single easy move Dalara drew up the blade and drove it through her throat, piercing harder and faster than a human being possessed the ability to, and driving it through all the way to her spinal cord.

_You are not human. You will never be human again. Do not let yourself think otherwise._

For the first time in years she wished she could properly feel pain.

.-~*~-.

"An angel. Hiding as a demon."

Gabriel didn't like it. Didn't like the idea of an angel turned King of The Crossroads.

"A Seraph. Her name is Micholi. The Seraph of Dreams. Before she left Heaven she would grant wishes humans made on stars."

"Now she grants wishes at the price of a soul." Gabriel scowled.

"Her Soul was a slave man in Rome. All he wished for was that his son would never suffer the same indignities that he had. Micholi granted that wish and the son became an emperor. He was not as fortunate, a slave master killed him in his sleep for no reason other than boredom.

"So Micholi ran out of Heaven." The same story on repeat. A tragic tale, a tale of death or more. Misery that Gabriel would never be able to comprehend.

"I know you don't like it, but she did it for the same reason Debriel did."

"You all do it for the same reasons. To escape. I get that. I want to tuck your oversized body under my arm and hide you somewhere."

"You can't protect me from everything."

Gabriel closed his eyes, remembering Michael's first visit.

" _Take_ _my brother and_ _run._ _Get the hell out of there before Lucifer finds you and tears you apart completely in all the fun ways."_

God he wanted to do that. He wanted to grab Sam and run. The only thing stopping him was the angel himself. One of two people he had left.

"Run with me, Sam. Please."

"Not until we clean up our mess. I'm sorry, Gabriel."

"There's an Archangel and a Seraph in the next room over. They can deal with the end of the world. Please, Sam." Gabriel tactfully disregarded the fact that Dean was weakened currently.

Sam leaned down and kissed him, drawing back before Gabriel could reciprocate. "I can't. We have to finish this."

 _At what cost?_ He'd lost his brother. Lost his sister. Lost Sam once already.

"You can't think like that, Gabriel."

"Stay out of my head." Gabriel didn't really care anymore.

"You are thinking loud." Sam responded. "I know you're worried, Gabriel. But we will get through this and I will give you the world."

"Promise me."

"I swear to you."

Gabriel closed his eyes and stepped into Sam's arms, wrapping his arms around the angel.

"I love you."

"I know you do, Gabriel." Gabriel sighed softly, closing his eyes. _Damn it._

When had this gone from, 'I can't promise I won't go after him' to 'Run away with me, Sammy.'

"We have to go talk to them, don't we?"

"Crowley has a plan." Right. Crowley. Micholi was just another angel name. Like Anael had been for Anna and…Gavreel? had been for Meg. Names that Dean would hypocritically use despite telling them not to call him Debriel.

"A plan to deal with which threat? Lucifer? Raphael? Fucking Samael." Sam blinked at the mention of Samael and Gabriel ground his teeth together in frustration, longing to scream at the Archangel for this situation but knowing Samael showing up would inevitably do more harm than good.

God he missed his brother. But Cas was gone. The brother he knew very well may have never existed. It was a terrible thing to think but painstakingly accurate.

"Lucifer. That's who the plan is for." Sam answered him after what felt like hours of silence.

"Which just leaves Mae and Raphael that we'll need to deal with, assuming this plan doesn't backfire."

"Yes."

Gabriel sighed and ran his hands across his face. "Fine."

.-~*~-.

"No. Fuck no." Gabriel glared at the angel turned demon. "We aren't bringing a damned demon back."

"I didn't ask you." Crowley responded, gaze resting on Dean.

"We're talking about Lilith. _Lilith_. The psycho demon that killed and damned several hundred kids to release the damned _devil._ "

"Technicalities, Gabriel. By all rights she couldn't have done that without my help." Crowley responded easily.

"Which says all sorts of promising things about your help." Gabriel glared at the angel-demon whatever.

"I didn't think Lilith would actually succeed."

"So you sacrificed six hundred sixty six kid's souls."

"Actually it was more. There were the ones Lilith sacrificed and the ones that gnat Nex 'played' with. I don't condone buying the Souls of minors, unfortunately the Queen's word is law."

"You're an angel."

Crowley's eyes flashed for a moment before he shrugged. "Was an angel. I'm hiding. I can't suddenly tell the ruler of Hell 'no'. What if she tried to kill me?"

"You would live?" Gabriel suggested blandly and the demon shrugged.

"You really aren't helping yourself, Crowley."

"I'm giving you bozos an option. If you don't take it, I have nothing to lose."

Gabriel didn't believe him for a second. Every angel had something to lose if Lucifer got her way. A soul waiting in Heaven for the angry Archangel to destroy. Every angel except for Michael who had possessed his soul.

"Crowley." Dean spoke up and the other angel sighed.

"Very well. We don't have time for bickering, Gabriel. We can all agree we have all made terrible mistakes. You sold your Soul, Debriel left Heaven, Samuel killed Lilith, and your lovely brother said 'yes'."

"How-"

"Dean told me. Samael can't affect all of the angels despite her wishes. All angels have their strengths and weaknesses."

"But she's an Archangel."

"Ah, yes. An Archangel. One of God's strongest creations. Yet she has no tact, no skills, and no purpose. Give a toddler three objects of destruction. Give them a knife, give them a gun, and give them a big red button and they'll play with all three. A human toddler would likely pick up the big red button and press it first. An angel has more tact. A fledgling will pick up the smallest object first and investigate it. Learn its functionality examine it piece by piece. Take it apart and put it together. A fledgling would do that with every single object in its vision, _including_ the one who gave the objects to them. Then that fledgling would test each object. It would stab something, or someone, it would shoot someone, or something, and finally it would press that button. Tell me something, Gabriel. Did you have incidents with your brother and murderous situations?" Gabriel glared, refusing to answer. Because Cas had done that. Killed those teens in the convenience store. Showed up covered in blood multiple times.

"How do you know this?" Dean spoke up, eying the demon with unease.

"The fledgling births didn't stop the second you left. There were a hundred born before it stopped. Probably Father being a spiteful bastard."

Sam shifted uneasily next to him as Dean's expression fell.

"What did you do to them?"

"They were murderous monsters. A threat to all of Creation. Naomi couldn't do anything to them because there was nothing to rewrite. First we locked them in The Prison but they eventually learned how to escape."

"You killed them all."

"We had no choice." Gabriel stared at the angel of Dreams, trying to comprehend how an angel with that passive of a purpose could possibly have been part of that kind of slaughter. That couldn't be possible…except Gabriel knew Sam wouldn't lie about an angel so soon after his mistake with Mae.

Heaven was a horror show. Through and through.

"You have always had a choice."

"Sorry to break it to you, but you took that choice away when you abandoned your post. A human can't teach a rabid animal to sit and every other angel in existence can't teach a fledgling morality."

Dean flinched and disappeared. Crowley sighed heavily. "Angels." Gabriel decided against commenting on the irony of that. "It's your choice, Moose. You're the one who has to do the spell. I'm going to deal with your estranged brother now."

Then Crowley disappeared and Gabriel stared at a lost looking Sam. Of course this was an impossible choice for Sam. He could fix the damage he'd caused. Give Lucifer back Lilith. It sounded like a perfect opportunity. Except Lilith was a murderous little psycho. It could do drastically more harm than good bringing her back.

"Sam-"

"It's Lilith. I killed her, Gabriel. Mi-Crowley says there's a chance. I could right this."

"Lilith is stilla _demon_ , Sam. The first demon."

"The first woman."

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Sam eyed him with a conflicted look. "If I told you to leave with me. If I said you had to do it, you'd do it. Don't bother denying it. Think about Lilith. The first demon. A scary powerful woman that made me choose between my daughter and six hundred sixty five other children just for the fun of tormenting me." Which was an unhealthy pattern he didn't want to think too much on. "I know you want to fix your mistake, but Lilith isn't the answer. We have to find another solution for Lucifer."

Sam didn't answer, walking over to the bed and laying down with his back to the door. Gabriel considered his angel, debating whether to give him the space he clearly wanted.

Deciding against his better judgement he laid down in the bed next to Sam, wrapping an arm around the bigger man and pulling him against his chest.

"We'll figure something out, Sam. I promise."

.-~*~-.

It turned out that Lucifer was a lower priority. Dean showed up after what was probably an hour of them laying in the bed together, just laying there since Gabriel couldn't bring himself to be tired enough to sleep.

"Gabriel, I need to talk to you." Carefully he detached himself from Sam, stroking his hand through the angel's hair before getting to his feet. Sam was asleep. Which was worrying considering he was supposed to be at full power again.

"It's the wings." Dean answered the unspoken question as he snapped them into the next room over where an assortment of Bibles were spread out on the bed. "I want you to look at this."

Gabriel stared at Dean. "I've read the Bible."

"I know you have. That's why I want you to read one of them."

Gabriel frowned but did as requested, walking over to the bed and picking the first one up that was in English. Dean leaned against the wall and waited patiently as Gabriel fought through the words. He didn't have to read for long to understand. Gabriel felt his blood ice over as he read through words and saw a name that shouldn't have existed. A name that _hadn't_ been there before.

" _And without a purpose a single tanager sat in the aftermath of the fray. A creature without purpose. Samael spoke to Heaven, to the Father, and asked Him why this had happened. There was no answer, silence from The Father."_

Samael was now there. In the story. In the _Bible._ An Archangel that hadn't existed until less than a year ago was clear as day _written into the Bible._

"Samael shouldn't know how to time travel. Most angels don't know how to, and the fact that he _changed_ something. That shouldn't be possible."

Gabriel stared at the name in the Bible. The impossible name. _Samael._ _The Archangel Samael._

"Cas." Gabriel said quietly. Cas had guided Samael into the past. But why? What would his brother possibly gain from going back to biblical times? _Why_ would he consider that for a moment? Hadn't he paid attention when they watched every time travel movie ever? They couldn't gain by changing history.

"Gabriel."

There was no way he could look at Dean. None. It had been inevitable for a long time, something that had only clicked with him after Michael told him he could kill Samael. A piece of information that he'd shoved to the deepest darkest crevices of his mind. Something worse than Hell and Sam's torture at the hands of Lucifer.

"You can't do that."

"We won't have to kill Cas, if you can get him to throw Samael out. If Cas tells Samael to get out, Samael will be forced to leave and we can handle him without his Vessel."

Gabriel shook his head slowly. Already he knew the answer. Knew the outcome. Cas would never separate from Samael willingly. Which left a terrible feeling in his gut. A small voice whispering something that couldn't be right. There had to be another way. There _had_ to be. If there wasn't, if this was the outcome for his brother, then what the hell did it mean for him? For Sam? For everyone who had been brought into this hellish situation.

"Gabe."

"Don't play the friendly card, Dean. You want to kill my damned brother."

"I don't _want_ to kill Cas, Gabriel. I just don't have much of a choice. Fucking with history, that's a line you _can't_ cross. Not without there being serious repercussions."

"I watched Doctor Who and fucking Back to the Future. I know that time is delicate. It doesn't matter. I'm-"

"Gabriel, you can't stop me. You know you can't. So I'm giving you a choice."

"Fuck off." Gabriel ground out, hands clenching into fists at his side.

"I'm going to kill Samael, Gabriel. Cas will die with him if he doesn't throw him out. It's up to you whether you go with me to do it." Gabriel took a shuddering breath and shook his head.

"You can't."

"I have to, and you know I do." Gabriel ran his fingers across the words on the page, the name Samael. A dangerous destructive being that he couldn't begin to comprehend. A being that was sharing a body with his baby brother.

_Cas is dead._

Even knowing that didn't change anything. That was his brother and…

_Damn it._

"Okay." There was no way he'd let his little brother die alone. Possessed or not, the same or different, Cas was his brother. He _had_ to go.

Dean nodded. "Assuming this trip doesn't collapse the core of everything in on itself…"

"It won't." Even then. ' _I love you, Sam.'_

There wasn't a chance for more than that before the ground fell out from under his feet.

.-~*~-.

Castiel spun around to see a mirror image of him standing a few feet away.

" _Mae._ " The Archangel shimmered in appearance until dark hair lengthened out, body filling out and curving.

A female version of him.

"Castiel." The Archangel spoke softly, flexing black and red wings out behind him-her? Castiel wasn't sure it mattered anymore. The voice was softer yet still rough _._ His voice but feminine. This situation was strange. Bizarre. _Fascinating._

"What are we doing, Mae?"

"Fix." Castiel frowned at the simple answer, yes he was used to the communication barrier but it didn't change his confusion.

"Fix what?"

Samael spread twelve strong wings behind her body, flaring the top ones the widest before flapping them all at once. Castiel stumbled back as he was thrown back into the passenger seat of his mind and body. The world was rushing past them as they flew, but it was different than the usual flight. Castiel had experienced this flight. They were time traveling again, something they had only done once before.

"Mae?"

"Fix." Samael repeated, drawing on Castiel's memories. Of pain and suffering. Not just his, everyone's.

" _We were wrong about Lucifer. About Lilith. Lucifer didn't choose to destroy Lilith. God caused it and he was punished for it. Lilith was caused by God. Not by Lucifer."_

" _We can't tell Gabe."_

" _I know."_

" _I'm sorry, Dean."_

" _All of it. Everything that followed Lilith…it was God's fault. And we punished him for it."_

"I don't understand." Castiel curled closed to the Archangel's Grace.

"Fix."

Fix what? "Mae, I don't understand."

"Lilith." The Archangel spoke distinctly through their mouth, the word coming out sounding foreign.

Fix Lilith? They couldn't fix Lilith. Going into the past couldn't fix anything.

Or could it? Yes, he'd grown up watching television and movies that said messing with time was a bad idea, he'd read _A Sound Of Thunder_ in school and watched the movie with Gabriel when it came out, but those were fiction works. Could this not work? Could they not fix Lilith? Time had corrected itself when Samael erased him. It would surely do the same if this worked. Right?

If they could fix Lilith, they could fix Lucifer and Gabriel would be safe. Sam would be safe. They could _fix_ this. They could. Samael was an Archangel. Samael had power. So much power. Samael could do it. Samael could change it. For the better. They could save everyone.

.-~*~-.

Gabriel would've fallen flat on his face if a shaking hand didn't grab his shoulder first.

"What-" Gabriel's voice was cut off suddenly and he shot an angry glare to the side at the clearly tired Archangel. His voice was gone.

" _Think of this as a one way communication, Gabriel."_ Dean's voice came into his mind making him jump. _"We're not supposed to be here which means yelling isn't going to help. I'll give your voice back when we find our brothers."_

 _Asshole._ Dean rolled his eyes as Gabriel finally let himself take in his environment. There were a lot of words that could describe it but the simplest would be _clean._ Gabriel had no idea where or _when_ he was, but something screamed at him _right. Pure._ A simple field, waist high grass flowing and a couple horses off in the distance.

" _Gabriel, welcome to a massive fucking paradox. Right now I'm in Heaven training fledglings to fly."_

_When are we?_

" _The very beginning. Eve hasn't been Created yet and Lilith hasn't died yet._ " Gabriel wasn't exactly a Bible freak but he was almost positive that wasn't how Genesis went. Yes, he'd heard them mention it, in passing, but here and now it was so much more real.

_Why would Mae come here?_

" _Because your brother would. Remember that close mental state True Vessels and Archangels have? Cas wants to do right. To fix things. Even after what I did to him he was willing to fix things with me. It's projection. Cas is broken. Then Samael came along and he needed fixing. Cas wants to help him and he wants to protect Cas from everything."_

Cas had mentioned something about that. About Mae keeping him safe. It was different than how Dean was describing it. The way Dean was describing it sounded like…

" _Ever wonder why Balthazar and Cas didn't have a normal angel-Soul relationship? I didn't know. Not until after I saw them together. Some angels share Souls, while rare, it does happen. Samael is deadly dangerous and powerful. He has his Soul. His True Vessel. And I have a feeling he's been fueling up on the humans he's been murdering."_ Gabriel didn't have a chance to question how two angels could share a soul because a man materialized in front of them, shorter than Gabriel with long unkempt hair and completely nude.

 _Well endowed._ His mind supplied unhelpfully as the man summoned a familiar silver blade.

"You do not belong here." The man spoke sternly as Dean partially placed himself between him and the man. The man.

 _Is that Adam?_ _Holy shit._ Adam, the first man.

"Hear me out, Michael. I'm not here to fight you."

The man -Michael? Hadn't he overheard Sam tell Cas that Lucifer was the only angel to possess Adam?- narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "You do not belong in this time. Especially with _him._ " Gabriel stepped back almost reflexively as Michael's burning stare moved to him, _eying him like a piece of meat, like he was the most important object in the universe. Holy shit._

"Something is about to happen, Michael. You know I would never risk this unless it was important."

"Who? Who is coming that would force you to come here? Which of us? Raphael? Myself? Lucifer?"

"The fifth. A new one."

Michael stared at Dean for a moment. "Impossible. Father would never-"

"Trust me, Michael. I can't tell you more. Just trust me. You need to go before he shows up. Leave Adam in Eden. He has to be there when what is coming happens."

"Why did you bring my Vessel?"

"His brother is the fifth's Vessel."

Michael placed one more of those burning looks on him.

"Why have I not possessed him?"

"You have other priorities."

Michael looked once more at Dean then disappeared.

 _How does that not change anything?_ Gabriel asked, annoyed that he still couldn't speak.

"As long as Adam's there when Lilith dies it won't change anything. Small details always right themselves, it's why we're capable of time travel. Shit!" The ground disappeared from under his feet as he was thrown through the air, hitting the ground several feet away, hard. Almost immediately Gabriel scrambled to his feet, looking in horror as Cas-no _Mae_ \- stumbled back from Dean, a look of fury on his-her? expression.

" _Debriel._ " Mae bit out angrily.

Dean responded in several words he knew were Enochian, one he knew meant something along the lines of 'look'.

"Cas!" He shouted, drawing Mae's attention for a brief moment and giving Dean an opportunity to strike out.

As quick as Dean was, as practiced, Mae was faster and it showed when she caught his blow with a blade Gabriel was sure wasn't there before. This one was different than the other angel blades he'd seen. It was black, not solid black but still black. Like onyx. It glimmered in the unobstructed sun ominously and the moment it collided with Dean's the silver blade _snapped_. Dean held tight to his blade as he tumbled backwards, the air crackling to life with power and energy.

"Samael-"

" _Debriel._ " The young Archangel ground out violently as they held their blade surely in their hand. "Kill." The Archangel flicked its gaze to Gabriel before beginning to stalk towards Dean.

Gabriel opened his mouth before he realized it _._ "Hey, Mae!" Gabriel shouted, the Archangel didn't move its attention from the slowly retreating Dean. "You don't have to kill Dean. Think about Cas! He didn't say 'yes' to fight an Archangel! That isn't who you are! That's who Michael and Luci are supposed to be!"

Something flashed across his expression and Gabriel recognized it. "Cas! You have to get rid of her! Get her _out_! You have to know this won't work!"

The Archangel paused, then the entire demeanor changed and Gabriel knew it was Cas. _Cas._

His brother backed up, holding the blade up. "This is right. Why can't you see that?"

Dean noticed the change too, the older Archangel rising to his feet and taking a step towards Cas as Gabriel stumbled across the grass. "It's not. Cas, this is _wrong._ I know you're trying to do good. I _know_. But you can't do this. This is _time_ we're talking about."

"It's Lilith, Gabe. If we save her-"

"Then you _change_ the downfall of humanity. Adam and Eve and the damned fruit. Fucking Hell, Cas. You know how this ends."

"Dean can't beat him." As if to prove his point he held up the dark blade, turning it in his hand curiously. "He's too strong." Gabriel flinched slightly when he felt chilled metal touch his skin, _the broken angel blade._ Gabriel didn't dare look over at Dean.

"We don't want to kill either of you. Cas, please." Gabriel rested his hands at his side, using the tall grass as cover as he carefully grabbed the angel blade from the side of his pants. "What do you think happens if Lilith survives this?"

"Time will fix itself." His brother stated simply, completely contradicting himself.

"If time fixes itself, _if_ it does, then the outcome is the same. Humanity is still corrupted and Mae's plan, her stupid desire to save you from every fucking thing, it's pointless. Cas, _please._ " Cas' gaze turned sharp as Gabriel continued to get closer, his brother took a step back.

"It's not pointless. Don't you understand? If Lilith doesn't die, Lucifer has no reason to be angry at you. At Sam. You'll be _safe._ " Gabriel's heart broke a bit at that. Cas' reasoning was so naïve. So blind. He wasn't going to listen. Not now. Samael had taken his brother. Which left him with no choice.

Gabriel was going to have to kill his brother.

"Cas, I'm begging you. That blade. It's black. I know you think Mae is good, and maybe she is to some extent, but her angel blade is _black._ "

"He's _pure._ " His brother retorted harshly, taking a step forward. "It's angel steel. Twice the strength of a normal Archangel's blade." Which explained why it broke Dean's, but didn't explain where he'd gotten it.

"Cas, he's broken and corrupt. Just like you." Cas' eyes flashed with Grace and Mae flew across the short space, before he realized he was doing it Gabriel had raised the blade, running it straight through his brother's chest and eliciting a cry of pain from the Archangel.

At first he didn't feel his own wound, too paralyzed by the horrified look in Mae's eyes as the injury registered with her. The betrayal.

Gabriel fell backwards and watched from beneath the grass as Mae threw her head back, arms spreading out as blinding white light poured from the wound in her chest. A deafening scream rang through the air as, finally, the light grew brighter and Gabriel was forced to look away.

His heart pounded painfully in his ears as he fell backwards, _no no no no._ He had to get up. He had to _move._ Cas wasn't dead. Couldn't be. Mae had to be the only one that died. That he killed. But when he tried to move he became excruciatingly aware of his own injury. The wound in his stomach. His own desperate gasps for breath.

 _Nonononono_.

"Gabriel." A warmth spread through him. _Grace._

But no. He couldn't live. Not after that. Not with what he'd just done. _Oh God. Cas._

"Gabriel, listen to me. _Gabriel._ " Gabriel blinked and stared at green eyes.

"I-" A hand covered his eyes as a blinding white light came out of nowhere.

"You can't be here!" Dean shouted suddenly and a deafening sound tore through the air. "You don't get to play hero now, Michael. Fuck off!" A new warmth spread through him, hesitant. _Natural. Michael_. Immediately he knew, and might've laughed if it wasn't for the fucked situation.

" _His Soul does not belong now. Neither. They will return in the state they arrived."_

His voice. Playing through his mind, but not him.

"You can't do that. They're Souls." Dean said suddenly, urgent.

" _Not yet. Father has permitted this. Sleep now, Gabriel."_ Despite his desire to try to comprehend Michael's words, he did as told, sinking into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know. I know Cas' logic is massively flawed. Before you point out his faulty logic, I know it's flawed. It's not meant to make sense. Cas was partially brainwashed at this point. He was seeing Samael as right, unable to be wrong. So if Samael thought 'fixing' Lilith was the course of action to take, his brain made him rationalize it and since he was seeing Samael as good that was the course his thoughts went. I know the logic was poor, but it was his mindset.
> 
> Now, Samael is dead. I was on the fence about Cas surviving it. Really. That was a super difficult decision. I know it shouldn't have been but him surviving almost seems cruel considering how close him and Samael were, and I'm sure you can imagine that he'll never be the same again. We're down to the end. One Archangel down, two to go, hugs to everyone.


	21. 20: A Day At The Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference; The only time Dal has her accent is when it's her properly talking. Demon her and her thoughts aren't accented because it's how she speaks. Her accent doesn't carry to her thoughts and the demon liked distinguishing itself. If Luci ever possesses her she won't bother with the accent either. To be honest I'm still not sure if she'll say yes. We'll see.

Dean followed Michael's True Form with his gaze as the elder Archangel moved to Castiel's side, his corpse.

" _Cas, he's broken and corrupt. Just like you._ " Gabriel would never forgive himself for that. Not even when he learned his brother was alive.

" _You have yet to attempt to contact Father_." Michael commented, not asking, simply stating a fact and Dean flexed his wings in agitation.

"I know better than to bother." Dean watched as Michael lifted the steel blade from where it had dropped out the ground, "Where did he get that?"

" _Heaven_."

Obviously. "Did he take it from here?"

" _The blade is from a much later point_." Michael ruffled his feathers. " _This is mine, infused with my Grace. I know I am not supposed to question anything but…how would I ever become capable of allowing a fledgling access to such a weapon? Why was he so heavily damaged?_ "

Dean picked up the large half of his blade from the ground before joining Michael's side.

"You know I can't tell you."

" _I am aware_." Michael responded. " _Father has barred you from Heaven. Your interactions in this point are limited to myself and the Vessels. He has told me to tell you that you will hear Him speak again, after what is written passes_." Michael shifted uneasily as he drew the blade from Cas' stomach, pressing his hand to the wound and healing it with care.

"Oh so when the world's done being fucked over? Thanks, Dad." Dean bit out harshly earning a slightly disturbed look from Michael.

" _You should not speak that way about Father, Debriel_."

"I've heard that before." Dean answered, watching as Cas sucked in a sharp breath and sat up rigidly, crying out in panic as he grabbed his sides, looking around frantically with fear filled eyes. Before Dean could move or speak both Cas and Gabriel disappeared.

" _Debriel. Please tell me something._ " Dean considered his eldest brother. If God didn't like this…that was His problem.

"One answer."

" _Why did I not take my Vessel?_ "

"Your Soul." Dean answered honestly before he was thrown forward in time against his will. A million things could've resulted of their adventure. The core of reality could've collapsed in on itself if Samael had succeeded. Except it hadn't. When he touched down on Earth in the correct year everything was the same as he'd left it.

How had nothing changed?

.-~*~-.

_"Cas, he's broken and corrupt. Just like you." Cas' eyes flashed with Grace and Samael flew across the short space, before he realized he was doing it Gabriel had raised the blade, running it straight through his brother's chest and eliciting a cry of pain from the Archangel._

The wind picked up around him and Gabriel spun to see himself, _Michael_ lounging on the bed. Gabriel blinked and looked around. Back in his bedroom. And…

_Cas._

"Relax, Gabriel. Self loathing doesn't suit you."

"I killed-"

"You killed my unpragmatic sister. I saved both of your lives despite the laws of the time. Imagine my surprise when Lucifer Fell for Lilith."

Gabriel stared at Michael, anger bleeding through him as he began to understand. "You knew."

"The moment Samael was born I knew. Her birth changed time, and I was directly involved. I was never concerned about Samael because she was no longer a threat."

"You've been playing me."

"From the moment we met. Come on, Gabriel. I'm sure you can appreciate it. The best way to manipulate someone is to use the truth."

"Lucifer uses the truth to manipulate."

"Lucifer uses the truth to lie. Significantly different." Gabriel was pretty sure it wasn't. "We aren't here to discuss this."

"You saved my life. I thought that was forbidden."

"I saved you and your brother under God's orders. Bitter irony considering Lucifer's Fall. Of course I would've gladly left him to his death if I knew what I know now."

"Cas-" Gabriel tried to defend his younger brother before Michael cut him off with a snap of his fingers.

"Your brother is a twisted little human, and that's saying something considering what I do. Your brother is going to Hell when he dies because of what _he_ did. Not what Samael did and not because of what Azazel and Debriel did to him when he was younger. His Damning is his own fault."

Gabriel glared at the Archangel. That wasn't true. It couldn't be. Cas was good, innocent and naïve, _good._

"Denial, Gabriel. It can only get you so far."

"I'm not in denial. I know Cas has messed up, but it _isn't_ his fault."

Michael tsked at him, shaking his head. "Deny it all you wish. It was your brother who pulled the trigger on Dalara in that sneaky little panic room and it was him who tried to shoot that demon Crowley with The Colt."

"How the-"

"You can't keep me out of your memories, but even then I've been watching your brother since he said 'yes'."

Gabriel stared at Michael for a moment, curiosity boiling in his veins. _Since he said 'yes'._ When had Cas done it? When had Cas signed himself over to be damned by Samael?

Just like that the scene around them shifted and they were in Bobby's house right before Dean's dramatic crash landing. A bright white light was hovering behind Cas' shoulders as he made his way down the stairs, pausing at the bottom.

_"What the fuck did I do?" His voice came from the next room, clearly angry. What had they been arguing about?_

_"You were born." Balthazar's even angrier voice snapped back causing Castiel to pause at the bottom of the steps. "Now do what you're supposed to and be a good little Soul. This whole one sided pining thing is Hell. My brother's too blind to humanity to see it and you're a bigger dumbass than any Soul I've ever seen."_

Oh yeah. The conversation that made him pull his head out of his ass and realize he was in love with Sam. If Balthazar ever showed his face again he probably owed the angel a thank you for shoving him in the right direction. Gabriel returned his focus to his brother in the memory, the light trailing behind him was taking a more distinct form the longer he watched and a frown crossed his face at the sight. What was that?

_Castiel stumbled back as Balthazar appeared in front of him, causing him to stumble back on the steps, calm and collected the angel offered his hand which Castiel suspiciously took, allowing him to help him to his feet._

The thing behind his brother shifted forms and took on a more humanoid form, Gabriel's eyes widened as what was distinctly twelve wing shapes spread from what could be called its back.

_"I'm throwing caution to the wind. Whether he knows it or not, Sam's in love with his Dad awful Soul. Your halfwit of a brother needs to get a hunt because shit just hit the fan in Heaven and-oh shit!" Balthazar shoved Castiel back, all but throwing himself over Gabriel's brother before the entire foundation of the house rattled and an explosion sounded._

Gabriel stumbled back as the clear distinctive sight of not just Balthazar's wings but what had to be Samael's threw themselves over Cas, the falling body of what he knew was Dean though it looked like a meteor slammed into the pile of wings. The shockwave from the collision sent objects and the house falling apart around them and that impossible piece of wood came flying from the next room over, slamming into Cas' side. Gabriel spun around to see a smoky black cloud flying away from some of the debris and up through the floor.

"Lilith." Michael answered the unspoken question as he turned back to see the light that was no doubt Samael pressing against Cas' body.

_"Cas!" Memory him shouted as he left Sam's side and joined them on the stairs, dropping down next to his brother's side._

Oh yeah. This had been when he discovered Cas was Balthazar's soul.

_"Don't you dare die, Castiel Novak." Balthazar warned and Memory Gabriel glared at him._

_"Heal him!" He demanded angrily._

Gabriel stopped paying attention to himself and Balthazar when he heard Cas' voice, except it wasn't Cas. It couldn't be. Which meant it was Samael. Gabriel shot a look at Michael before looking back at the scene.

 _"I can heal you."_ She spoke softly with his brother's voice. _"All I need is a yes."_ _Samael wrapped herself around his brother, wings cocooning them both. "_ _I can save you. Protect you. Say yes. Castiel Novak. Say yes."_

_Realization dawned on Gabriel as he listened to Samael, repeating the same words over and over. Then him._

_"Cas, tell him 'yes'. I came to a shitty, or possibly great, realization before we were attacked by a UFO and I know you'd be thrilled to hear it. Say 'yes' and let the dumbass angel save your life."_

" _Yes."_ The word rang loudly through the air despite the fact that Cas never opened his mouth. Then two blinding white lights merged with Cas' body.

"I…"

"Samael was taught two things by Raphael. How to kill, and how to hide." The scene shifted back to Bobby's spare bedroom and he collapsed to his knees. It had been his fault. That yes wouldn't have happened if he hadn't pushed Balthazar to possess his brother. "I was there, you know. That's how I knew."

"Who are you?"

"It doesn't matter who I am, Gabriel. The end is the same."

"I would never sit idly by while the world burned. _Who are you?_ "

"Gabriel-"

" _Who are you?_ " The creature considered him for a moment before sighing.

"You know who I am. I sat idly by because I knew it was the only way to protect the man I love. If given the chance you would do the same thing. Don't deny it for a moment, Gabriel." Gabriel hated it. Hated Michael more in that moment than he could ever hate anyone else.

"You could've stopped it all. Why didn't you _stop it_?"

"Too much of a risk. A mindset I'm paying dearly for now. I understand your mistrust, Gabriel. It's rational. Just do me a favor and put it aside until you have figured out a plan that doesn't involve killing another one of my sisters."

Gabriel thought back on Crowley's plan to bring Lilith back. The stupid, stupid plan to bring her back. The only plan they had that they could do and he was positive it would do more harm than good. Gabriel didn't care if both Sam and Dean agreed to it, he knew it was a bad idea but without backup they would go through with it. Gabriel knew they would. They were running out of options. The plan had flaws in it, flaws he was sure Sam and Dean were too desperate to look through and Crowley was too stupid to care about.

"Michael." Gabriel looked at the Archangel. "What do you think bringing Lilith back would do? Do you think it would help or do you think that everything would be worse?"

Michael looked away and Gabriel ground his teeth together. " _Michael_."

Reluctantly the Archangel looked at him again.

"You've been in my head for months. You know what in talking about, and don't you dare try to lie to me while you're wearing my face."

"I think it's a small chance, but it may work." Michael told him but Gabriel saw through. Just like he saw through the others. Michael was grabbing desperately.

"What do you think Lucifer and Lilith could do to everyone? Come on, Mikey. If you're wrong, what damage will the two of them do to the world?"

"Death and destruction to the angels." Michael responded after several long moments, space behind him distorting in a way he knew meant his wings were drooping behind him. "All of us. The moment your sister surrenders and says 'yes' she will have her True Vessel and with Lilith at her side she will have the influence of one of the most sadistic demons ever to exist at her side as well as her damned Soul. Damn you, Gabriel."

Gabriel couldn't help but grin at the defeated look on the Archangel's face.

"I was right."

"Don't look so smug, Gabriel. You just proved your only plan is too flawed to act on."

"No. I just got _proof_ that the plan is too flawed to act on. I already knew it was." Gabriel flicked the scene around them to the candy store where he immediately grabbed a handful of gummy worms. "You said you possess your soul."

"Yes." Michael answered warily.

"I want you to ask him something for me."

"Okay."

"Ask him what he would do in my situation. I need another human opinion here and I'm surrounded by angels. What would he do in my situation?"

Michael's expression distanced for a moment and while it was distanced Gabriel bit into the gummy worm. They were seriously lacking in a plan, but with Michael's words he was certain Lilith wasn't the right choice.

"He says that before hearing that he was on the side of Lilith being resurrected. Now he's not sure it's the safest course of action." Michael shifted uncomfortably. "I can't do that to her, darling. I can't. Not again."

Gabriel realized immediately that Michael wasn't talking to him. The question was what was he talking about? Gabriel knew he could influence the dreamscape but with Michael he seriously doubted he had the necessary skills to force his way into the conversation.

"I would be better off _killing_ her."

"What are you talking about?"

Michael shifted his focus to the candy containers. "There's another option. There's always been another option. However, it's a fate worse than death."

"What is it?"

Michael was stubbornly quiet and Gabriel felt a sharp spike of irritation as he crossed the space, grabbing the Archangel by the wrist.

"Michael."

"Dean won't let you do it. Your little Sammy will fight you the whole way."

"You're saying I can do it."

"Maybe. I won't help you this time. Not with this. I will not kill Lucifer and if you succeed in doing this to her…I might have to kill you for it." Michael stepped back and spread his arms, four rings materialized before him, spinning in the air.

"Rings?" Gabriel ignored the threat. If Michael killed him…that was a problem for another day.

"The rings from the four horsemen. You have one of them, from War. If you can get all four of them-" Michael waved his hand and the rings illusions moved together until they were all touching. "-they can be used to open The Cage. It's how Dad ensured that one way or another Lucifer would be freed."

In that moment Gabriel understood why Michael didn't want to do it. To put Lucifer back in The Cage…Gabriel didn't know the details but Sam had hinted more than once that time in The Cage was significantly longer than Hell.

"If you go through with this, we're not helping you." Before Gabriel could respond to that Michael was gone and Gabriel was left to think over his impossible options.

.-~*~-.

Dalara gasped a breath of air, a sob escaping her as she spit out water. This was real. This pain was so damned _real_. That was how she knew it wasn't. It was all in her head. In her mind because Lucifer had promised that she would never harm her physical body.

But that was the problem with the psyche. It was so much easier to manipulate. Alistair could've taken blades to her body and she never would've begged for mercy, he could've done the same to her Soul. Alistair wasn't creative with his torture. Not like this.

Lucifer was.

"No!"

"Your mind says 'no' but your Soul says 'yes'." Dalara flinched back as Lucifer replaced her Alistair form with Gabriel's daughter.

"I _can't._ "

"You can." Lucifer said softly, threading their fingers together and squeezing gently as she sent away all of the pain. "Dal, please."

"You _swore._ " Dalara all but sobbed out, longing to yank her hand away but completely paralyzed.

"I swore to never harm you. This isn't harm. Just your way of coping with what I'm doing. I know you're hurting. I'm sorry for that. But I have to fix the damage inflicted by Samael."

"It wasn't damage." Dalara choked out, flinching away as the Archangel tightened her grip.

"It was. Samael rewrote your mind to stop you from saying 'yes'. He was possessing Castiel. Do you truly think those brothers were against each other? They played you, Dalara. I'm sorry."

" _No._ " That couldn't be true. It _couldn't._

"When Debriel realized how far Samael was willing to go, he killed her. Samael is dead now, Dalara and with her Castiel Novak died as well. I never placed warding around you to prevent prayer. They are ignoring you because they have already given up. They know you'll say 'yes'. Sooner or later."

" _No._ You're lying."

"I promised you I would never lie."

"But you'll happily manipulate the truth to deceive. I do the same thing, Luci. Keep truths. I know the game."

"I wish I was lying." Lucifer sighed softly. "But if you're going to refuse to say 'yes' I am going to have to return to fixing the problem."

"To torturing me."

Lucifer patted her cheek sympathetically. "You don't feel pain and even if you did, this is all in your head."

Dalara sucked in a deep breath as Lucifer covered her mouth in a cloth, the last thing she heard before the roaring of water was a sad sigh from Lucifer.

.-~*~-.

Gabriel sat next to the guest bed where Cas was laying, staring vacantly at the wall. According to Bobby he'd been like that since Dean dropped them off.

"When did it all go so damned far off track?"

"I'd like to blame it all on Dean but I think he really tried to help."

"Michael told me Cas is damned. As in, hellbound."

Bobby was quiet and Gabriel glanced over to see the old hunter's solemn expression.

"You knew."

"Your brother's been bad off for a while now. Last thing that shocks me is where his soul's headed."

Gabriel flinched slightly at that. Had he been blind or stupid? How had he not known something was wrong with his brother?

"Don't blame yourself, Gabe."

"He was my responsibility."

"He was your dad's responsibility. If you're going to get mixed up in all this you don't drag your kids into it."

"I don't think dad could've saved Cas."

Bobby didn't answer, and Gabriel sighed, gripping his brother's wrist. "C'mon, Cas. You're in there. I know you are. We need your help. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I killed you…and Mae. I know you won't understand why, but we had to do it." Cas didn't move, if it wasn't for his breathing Gabriel might've thought he was dead.

"Gabriel." Gabriel turned to the door to see Dean standing there. "We need to talk." Gabriel flicked his gaze to Sam who was standing behind his older brother, shoulders slouched and a defeated look on his face.

"Cas-"

"Can wait. He's catatonic and not going anywhere."

Gabriel glanced at Bobby who nodded once, eying Dean with distrust.

"I'll be back." He promised his brother before rising to his feet and following the angels down the hall.

"What did you talk to Michael about, Gabriel?" Dean asked as they began their descent down the stairs.

"How do you know about that?"

"Because he told me."

Gabriel looked at Sam who was carefully avoiding his gaze.

"I talked to him about this plan of resurrecting Lilith. The one I said was stupid and dangerous."

"Gab-"

"No, Dean. I can't believe I'm having to be the voice of reason. Do you not see something wrong with this picture?" Gabriel moved his focus to Sam. "Sammy, listen to me."

"I did." Sam answered quietly. "I was there this morning. Michael wouldn't allow me to show myself." Sam reluctantly looked at Dean. "Dean, I think he's right."

"No."

"I was born after it happened, but I know who Lilith became. Who's to say her return will improve Lucifer?"

Dean didn't answer.

 _Thank you, Sam._ "Michael gave us another idea."

"The key."

"How-"

"When I was still Debriel there was little privacy. We always shared thoughts with each other. Michael and I were close after Lucifer Fell. I saw the key in Michael's memories after God showed him." Dean sighed heavily. "You want to use the key to lock Lucifer back in The Cage."

"Yes."

"It's a sadistic idea." Dean glanced at Sam who flinched. "The Cage is punishment. I _won't_ shove Lucifer back in it. So here." Dean snapped his fingers and an angel blade appeared in his hand, no, an _Archangel_ blade. Dean's blade. It was repaired now but there was a distinct line across it from where Mae had destroyed it. "If you can kill him, then more power to you. Just be prepared for who he's wearing." Dean turned the blade around and offered the hilt to Gabriel.

"What-"

"Either your sister, or that kid of yours. Helena I believe was her name. Yeah, she's still in there."

"Do you realize how big of a hypocrite you're being, Dean?" Gabriel responded angrily.

"Lucifer isn't going to let me get anywhere near him, Gabriel. And Sammy? Not just no, but Hell no. He's done torturing Sam. Which leaves _you_."

Gabriel shook his head. "You can handle Lucifer."

"I really can't." Dean grimaced. "Dad clipped my wings for telling Michael about the future."

Gabriel stared at him. Hadn't that been the purpose of the whole trip? Avoiding changing time?

"Don't give me that look, Gabriel. You'd have done the same for Cas."

"I _killed_ Cas." Gabriel retorted violently. "What the fuck, Dean? No. You know what? I'm _done._ You deal with the end of the world. You and your hypocritical bullshit can burn in Hell for all I care."

To his surprise and relief Dean didn't stop him. To his silent joy he heard quiet footsteps trailing behind him, _Sam_. Sam was following him.

This time. This time he was truly done.

.-~*~-.

Three weeks later Gabriel was lounging out on the beach with Sam's head resting on his chest. It was something he'd wanted since the moment he realized he was in love with him and now he had it.

That was how he knew it wouldn't last. But damn it he would hold onto it while he could.

"Gabriel, I have a question."

"If it's about _that_ , I don't want to hear it."

Gabriel felt a smile grace the angel's lips.

"We'll discuss that when it's an immediate issue. It's about us."

Gabriel paused and looked down to see hazel eyes watching him. "What about us?"

"This thing between us, it's monogamous, right?"

Gabriel blinked, trying to figure out where the hell that had come from. "Yes."

"Then why have you been ogling those women for the past ten minutes?" Gabriel blinked and looked back at where he'd been staring distantly, and sure enough, there was an admittedly attractive red headed woman in a black bikini talking, no definitely flirting with, a very fake blonde haired woman in a white one piece with a surfboard under her arm.

"Um…" Gabriel responded articulately as he peeled his gaze away, forcing away the images that threatened to surface themselves. _Fantasizing about two women is not going to help you explaining this situation to your angel boyfriend._ "I wasn't ogling them." He added when he realized Sam was waiting for an answer. "I was thinking." Gabriel cleared his throat, eyes widening when Sam straddled his waist in one fluid movement and giving him an annoyed look.

"I think you're lying to me." _That's cheating you little ass._

"I _was_ thinking. I didn't even…" He trailed off as Sam gave him a look. "Being in a relationship doesn't mean I can't see other people as attractive, Sammy. C'mon."

Then Gabriel saw the smile slip across the angel's face, and he knew.

"You ass."

"I'm possessive, not stupid."

"Said the naïve little angel to his human lover."

"I'm not naïve."

"You thought sex in Dean's car was a good idea."

"That doesn't make me naïve." Gabriel rolled his eyes as Sam leaned down and pulled him into a deep kiss.

"Knock it off!" An angry male voice shouted from a distance and he huffed a breath of annoyance as Sam pulled away, turning a glare in the general vicinity. Gabriel followed it and saw two buff men strolling down the beach to the female pair he'd noticed before. _Overcompensating much?_ Gabriel was almost positive that behind closed doors the two were bending over for each other. Not that he was one to judge but hypocrites berating him and Sam for a makeout session on a beach? Fuck them.

"They're about to cause trouble." Sam told him unhelpfully as he climbed off of him.

"Before you go all angry angel on them-"

"Back the _fuck off!"_ A female voice shouted and when Gabriel looked back it was to see the redhead throwing a punch at the closer male, the other woman was in the middle of swinging the surfboard at the second guy's head.

"That." Gabriel rose to his feet and began walking towards the confrontation with the small crowd that was starting to accumulate.

"You aren't going to do anything?" Sam asked, confused.

"They're fine." Gabriel responded, as if to confirm his suspicions the two men were already running from the beach shouting several slurs over their shoulders that made Gabriel reconsider leaving them alone.

"Fuckers! This is America!" The fake blonde was shouting as the red head grabbed her arm to keep her from chasing the men.

"Breathe, Tiff."

"No. Fuck them." The other woman scowled, kneeling down and grabbing her surfboard, checking it with care that didn't match her clearly pissed off demeanor. "Hypocritical gay fuckers calling _us_ out. No. Fuck that! What the hell are you all looking at!"

"You alright?" Gabriel asked when they were close enough to speak and the blonde gave him a stink eye.

"We're fine."

Red head looked at him and smiled knowingly. "They give you and your boyfriend grief?"

"I've dealt with worse. What'd they say that pissed you and your friend off?"

"A line that belongs in sleazy bars." The woman answered, looking at Sam curiously before looking back at Gabriel. "My name's Charlie. That's Tiffany." The red head -Charlie- nodded at the other girl.

"Charlie?"

"My parents wanted a boy. I was supposed to be Charles." The girl answered easily and the blonde snorted.

"She says that. She's full of shit. She got her name changed when she turned eighteen 'cause her parents _did_ name her Charles."

Gabriel smiled sympathetically at the redhead. "Hey, his parents named him after Samuel Adams. I'd call yours a win."

To his relief Sam didn't question the lie, he was learning.

"The beer or the founding father?" Charlie asked.

"God knows." He joked and Sam pointedly tightened his grip on his hand. Then Charlie moved her focus to Sam.

"Samuel." Charlie tried the name out and grimaced. "Too many syllables. Guessing you go by Sam?"

"Yes." Sam answered.

"Don't talk much." Tiffany mused as Charlie eyed Gabriel for a moment longer.

"I am not used to interacting with people." Sam admitted and Charlie laughed softly.

"Couple rounds of whiskey and you'll be loosened up." Tiffany stated decidedly as she rose to her feet, brushing her knees off. "There's an LGBT bar down the street. We were about to go fishing."

Fishing? That was one he hadn't heard in a while. So were they a couple or were they just friends?

"I don't understand." Sam admitted and the girls laughed.

"I'll let your boy explain to you. Meet us down there in ten minutes." The girls threw their arms over each other's shoulders and began the trek up the beach.

"What just happened? And what do they mean fishing?"

"We were invited out to drink." Gabriel explained patiently as he threaded his fingers through Sam's. "Fishing more or less means…picking someone up."

"But they're a couple?"

Gabriel followed the two with his gaze. "Maybe they aren't. If they are it just means they're looking to have fun with a third party."

Gabriel looked at Sam and huffed an annoyed breath at the look on Sam's face.

"You're an ass."

"I spend more time in your head than my own. I understand the basics."

"I think you're lying. You read their minds, didn't you?"

"I did not." Sam lied poorly and Gabriel grinned.

"I'm going to improve your lying skills one of these days, Sammy."

"I don't think that's a good thing."

"Sure it is. How else do you get off for a double homicide? You lie. 'I swear, officer. I was at the motel with my brother watching Dr. Sexy. Just ask him and check the motel footage.'"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Why do I feel you are speaking from experience?"

"Dean was helpful. Hunting isn't all rainbows and fairies. If I'm honest I'm probably only still breathing because of the asshole." _Damn it._ For the first time in two weeks his hand twitched towards his phone, not that he had it in his swim shorts, and he internally chastised himself. They didn't need him and Sam. The world was ending with or without them and Dean and Cas were more than capable of dealing with it.

 _Cas is catatonic._ An unhelpful part of his mind reminded him and he shoved it away, tightening his hold on Sam's hand and tugging him towards the beach.

"Come on."

Sam didn't move and Gabriel frowned, turning his full focus onto the angel was staring blankly.

"Sam?"

There was no response, just a slow draw of fear crossing his expression. There was barely time to try to comprehend the reason for it before Sam was collapsing to his knees and gasping in a sharp breath.

Then he was moving, on his knees in front of his angel and grabbing his shoulders as a choked off sound escaped him.

"Sam! _Sam._ " Gabriel heard people around them but he didn't care about them. All that mattered in that moment was Sam. _Sam. Sammy. C'mon._

" _Gabriel._ " Sam met his gaze with tortured panicked eyes. "It's useless. I…she did it."

"What are you talking about?"

Sam grabbed his forearms, pulling him down until they were eyelevel. "Forgive me, Gabriel." Sam said softly before shouting, "Artemis!"

A hand came out of nowhere gripping his shoulder. The last thing he saw before he was being flown by what he knew was god magic was snow white hair and pale blue eyes over Sam's shoulders.

_She did it._

_Dalara said 'yes'_.

_Lucifer has Sam._

Three sentences rang through his mind as he was drug away crying out Sam's name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, going into this chapter I didn't actually plan on having Dal say yes, but she did. Despite my plans she broke. I honestly thought she was stronger.


	22. 21: Meanwhile, Up In Olympus

Dean watched Gabriel and Sam leave with a growing sense of dread. _Kill Lucifer._ Two words that had a simple answer. An answer that should've been simple as breathing. Lucifer wanted to wipe the planet out and they had to stop him at any cost. _Any cost._ But even if Dean wanted to do it, he would never get close without dying. Not when he was completely wingless. Lucifer would be ruthless, but Lucifer also had _experience._ Experience that Raphael hadn't had, that Samael definitely hadn't had. While the others liked bringing the point that he'd held himself against Raphael as a god to light it was a smokescreen. The fact of the matter was he _didn't_ win. He held himself, but only barely, and he'd had to run.

Maybe he was being a hypocrite, but for good reason. The only one of them that truly held a chance was Michael and Michael would never kill Lucifer.

"Dean?" Dean looked up to see Bobby standing outside the door to the spare room.

"Yeah, Bobby?"

"Get your head outta your ass and fix this mess before the world burns. Ain't no one gonna fix it but you."

"It's not-"

"Crowley ain't gonna do it and you know it. He's your brother. Stop being a damned coward and clean up this mess."

This was why he loved Bobby. Observant of all hell hunter who told you what, no matter who or what they are. Not that he'd ever admit to it, or the Blessing of Artemis he had placed on the man the day they met.

"What do I do?"

"For a start, fix him." Bobby threw a finger over his shoulder towards Cas and Dean hesitated.

" _The Greeks will stand with you should you need it._ " Artemis' promise rang through his mind. Artemis had never held the strongest influence with the Greeks but with her recent resurrection she would definitely have more pull. More importantly, Apollo. Apollo could potentially have Paeon heal Cas and while it wouldn't _fix_ him it could possibly help. Wake him up. After all the hell he'd put the hunter through he owed it to him to try.

"I'll try." Dean finally said. "I can't promise."

"Go on then. Call if you need anything."

Dean reached inward and latched onto the godpower that was still resting dormant beneath his Grace. His angelic portion was greatly diminished but that portion was still connected to Artemis, and whatever she'd done had it at full power again. So Dean used it, latching onto both himself and Cas and letting it draw him upwards to one place he never thought he'd visit directly.

Olympus.

It was grey and dreary when he arrived with Cas draped over his shoulders, there were shouts from all around as his presence set off all of the warning bells.

"An angel!" Shouts came from the weaker of the gods that fled at his arrival. Moments later Zeus appeared in a violent flash of lightning with Artemis appearing between them before her father could lash out, one of her dogs growling violently at the god as she drew on his bow.

" _No, Father."_ Artemis warned Zeus.

"You would dare protect an angel?" Zeus asked venomously as another of the six dogs that had arrived with her snapped at him. Was that a hellhound? Interesting.

Artemis laughed sharply, reaching across that strange bond in their god powers and tugging sharply at it.

A look of horror crossed Zeus' expression. "You are-"

"I granted my _husband_ half of my power as a dowry."

Dean tried to comprehend those words for a moment. Her what?

"Don't worry. Unlike you, he understands my stance on being an eternal virgin and has chosen to remain faithful to the one he loves. Angels are fascinating like that, would sacrifice everything for their Soul."

There was something ironic in the way Zeus was staring at his daughter like a fish out of water, probably to do with Poseidon, but he wasn't able to properly enjoy it as Artemis' words tried, and failed, to process in his mind. When the hell had they become a married couple, because clearly Zeus could see that in that connection, but what the hell? And she was pretending to- no, wait.

"You have lost your mind, daughter."

"Hardly. If only I had. Now if you'll excuse us, my husband and I have much to discuss since he brought me back from the dead, and if any of the other goddesses or gods try to harm him I will give them over to my newest pup." The hellhound did something extremely out of character for a hellhound, barking once in no doubt confirmation, wagging its two tails.

"We will discuss this later."

"Your wife can't change this. I love him." Those three words held too much sincerity to be faked and Dean was pulled from his reverie for a moment to stare at the back of Artemis' head. Of course he knew. He'd always known. The thing they both knew but never talked about. She was the sister he never wanted and she loved him as more.

Before he could say something he was pulled east and found himself sitting on an illusionary couch with Cas floating suspended on nothing but god power in the center of the room.

"Sorry I never told you. It didn't matter." She clapped her hands together. "So what happened to this hunter? He's been touched heavy by an archangel. You possess him?"

It was an out to avoid the elephant in the room, but he couldn't avoid this.

"We're married."

Artemis licked her lips as she looked away. "Yes. I have a confession to make, Deb. When you first possessed me, you told me you would do anything of it enabled you to hide your Archangel roots. To become part of me. Gods can share power like that, but to share it across species takes more…it's restrictive and you didn't want anyone to know. So to get my yes I made you give me your own. I faked a marriage to feed you my power."

So they were married, and it shouldn't have changed things, but it did. It made it all make so much more sense. Apollo's hostility, the transference, all of it. It also made him feel a sense of betrayal.

"I knew how angels were. Souls were important. Then, after everything with Elizabeth I felt it would be nicer to keep it from you. It didn't matter anyway, it was just a figurative piece of paper. Non-binding since you don't have your own Soul."

"You're in love with me. It does matter."

Artemis snorted and placed her hands on Cas' chest. " _To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves_."

"That isn't comforting, Art."

"You weren't supposed to know. I'm old, Deb. I know who owns your heart. I'd never put that kind of burden on you _because_ I love you."

Except he had known. Just hadn't considered how it might actually affect her.

"Apollo!" She called out her brother's name and a moment later the other god stepped through the door, eying Dean before looking at Cas.

"What is this?"

"A hunter." Artemis answered for him. "And an Archangel Vessel."

"That doesn't answer why I'm here."

"Paeon." Dean spoke up and Apollo scoffed.

"Paeon doesn't heal mortals. Especially Hunters. Have the both of you lost your minds?"

Artemis batted big blue eyes at her brother and Apollo moved his focus to Dean. "Fine. Have _you_ lost your mind? Even if he did, what makes either of you think he'll listen to me?"

"I'm sure he came to you because you're the god of medicine, I have a much more logical reason though." Artemis spoke up. "Brother of mine, must I remind you who you have been sneaking into bed since before you killed Python?"

Apollo's face went red. "I-"

"You're my twin, sweet brother. I know you as well as you know me. Now find your lover before I tell Daddy your dirty little secret."

"For a Hunter."

"You know me. I just love my little Hunters."

Apollo scowled before disappearing in a flash of light.

"You didn't-"

"Dad doesn't care. I'm sure you remember Ganymede."

Dean couldn't help but smile at the grinning Artemis. If things were different, if he was different, he'd ask to possess her again. He knew he would. Artemis was the greatest Vessel he'd ever had and one of the greatest beings he'd ever met. It was one of the reasons why he'd risked her resurrection, because she'd earned it. Deserved it.

"Now, Deb. What in the name of Hades happened to your wings?"

Dean flinched at the reminder.

"You aren't cloaking yourself anymore."

"No. We went back in time and I told my brother a detail about his future."

Artemis smirked. "You pissed off Daddy?"

"Used to be a whole lot easier. Now I could call him every name in the book and he wouldn't bat an eye."

"What you mean is you did call him every name in the book and you're still standing. I was there, remember?"

Of course she was. The early days with her were all jumbled and foggy, a grief filled nightmare.

"So you went back in time and got your wings clipped for telling the future. And I was worried your life had been boring since I left."

Dean chuckled and shook his head. "Far from it."

"Mhm. Well, while we wait for my idiot brother I want to hear the plan. How are you dealing with Lucifer?"

Dean averted his gaze.

"I know you inside and out, Debriel. I was your Vessel for a very long time. You've lost your wings and from the looks of it Sam's gone. You wouldn't have shown up in the center of Olympus unless you were making a scene to make yourself known to everyone here. You need something."

Apparently she knew him better than he knew himself because that hadn't been his initial plan, though it was similar. The way she said it made it sound a lot more planned out.

"Nail on the head. Art, you have no idea how hard this is, asking for help."

"That's because angels are stubborn dicks."

"Not helping and I'm not an angel."

"Ah yes. Dean, the god of the protectors of humanity. Which pantheon are you part of again?"

"The Americans." He responded without a thought, surprising himself. Artemis grinned.

"I want to hear you say it."

"I hate you, you know?"

"Not the answer."

Dean sighed heavily before he slumped his shoulders. "I need help."

"Help with what?"

"You're not going to like it."

"I already know what it is. Say it, Dean."

"I don't think you do know. I need help breaking into Heaven."

Artemis paused, blinking in mild confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"I would never ask any of you to attack Lucifer. It would be a suicide mission."

"And attacking Heaven isn't?"

"Lucifer has Death on a leash."

Understanding dawned on her expression and she averted her gaze back to Cas. "You know we'll die."

"It won't just be you, but Pestilence has-"

Dean was cut off as Apollo returned, a younger male in tow. The younger male that he knew was Paeon. Paeon was wearing a bronze skinned male form with a bald head, much to Dean's surprise. Despite the fact that he was in a young body he looked older than time. It had been a really long time since Dean had seen him and Dean wasn't sure whether it was a good or a bad change.

"Why did you bring him to me?" Paeon spoke up methodically, walking over and pressing his hand against Cas' stomach. "He is physically in tact, more so than any being I have ever seen."

"He's catatonic."

"And the Archangel whom possessed him is incapable of healing him?"

"That Archangel is dead."

"Yet you stand." Paeon responded, eying him and Dean had only a second to wonder where he heard about it before the healer was continuing, "Apollo told me. Answer the question, Dean."

Dean ground his teeth together for a moment before forcing himself to relax. "I'm weak. I can't do it without his consent and he's catatonic. Can you fix him or not?"

"There's nothing _to_ fix. I am unsure what has happened to this man, but whatever is wrong is completely psychological. His physical state and…" Paeon trailed off, scrunching his brow and sliding a careful trail up Cas' chest until his hand slid through skin and fabric to the metaphysical plane. Of all the creatures in existence Paeon was probably one of the only beings he felt safe leaving to probe at a Soul, and even then it left him on edge. "What happened to him?" Paeon asked carefully.

"He was possessed."

"No. This is something else. This man has died… several times. But once is recent. Very recent. It was a brutal death and-" Paeon's eyes widened. "Fratricide. Why did his brother kill him?"

"To kill the Archangel possessing him." Dean was careful to keep the emotion out of his voice, the guilt, because that had been his job and he'd fucked up. He'd underestimated Samael and left Gabriel to clean up the mess. If he'd done his job there…

"I need specifics. The angel and his Vessel, their relationship?"

"Strong." Dean answered automatically. "Um…Cas was…the Archangel's Soul."

Paeon kept a steady hand on Cas' Soul as he lifted a disturbed gaze to meet Dean's.

"You aren't supposed to do that."

"I know."

"No. You see, angels are naïve. You obsess over Souls." With the care of a brain surgeon Paeon withdrew his hand. "Your Father placed rules. Resurrection, possession. You are bratty children. You think He was being unfair. But a Soul is fragile. If you had one of your own you would understand. When an angel is near its Soul it draws in energy. Energy that isn't yours but you still draw. It's safe, there's always a barrier when the human is alive, even when it's in your Heaven. It protects the Soul from you. But when you come into direct contact with that Soul, through possession or resurrection, you're touching the source. Think...a human jumping into an open flame to warm up. Only your Grace is the flame and your Soul is the human. The longer it's exposed to it…"

"The more damage it does." Dean finished, and he felt a flash of something within his Grace _Michael._

"Possession always runs the risk of damage but angels don't actively seeking out drawing on the Soul by default. I could fix him. But, I would have to patch the scars in him. This man is already severely tainted and I'm unsure what my tampering would do. There's another option."

Dean didn't like the look on Paeon's face.

"We could remove memories. The ones that led to his catatonic state. It wouldn't repair the damage but it would work."

"Except _we_ can't do that." Apollo cut in, breaking the conversation away and forcing his attention to the other man. "They are all in Tartarus."

"Mnemosyne isn't. Zeus had her locked away under Mount Othrys. Occasionally the Muses sneak her from her prison."

"I'll be back!" Artemis chimed happily before disappearing.

"Art!" Then Apollo was gone and Paeon was watching him with a knowing gaze.

"You bound his Soul. You tried to save him using power that you had no right to and as a consequence he's going to Hell when he dies. You understand this, right?"

"What do you want me to say? That I fucked up? That I ended the world? Well guess what? I did it. But it was a group effort. Now I'm trying to fix it."

"Too little too late, _Debriel._ If you had stepped up before now you could've had a different impact. Now you have to do whatever it takes to fix this. _No matter the cost._ You owe everyone that much. So I am going to fix your Hunter, and you're going to fix the world. No oaths. No deals. I can see the damage to your Grace now and because of it I can read you like a book."

"You lied about Mnemosyne." Dean stated, thinking over everything that Paeon had said. Paeon had already admitted he could do it, that he could heal Cas. That he would. Which meant the Titan was being used as a smokescreen for the conversation.

"I am a doctor, Dean. I've always kept discretion." Paeon straightened his back, brushing his hands off on his knees. "I will be patching his Soul. But only one place. I will be touching the fracture caused from his brother and soulmate killing him. It will probably remove the memory or at least distort the recollection of the event."

"He was possessed at the time. What will it do to that?"

"He won't remember the death. Don't tell him it was his brother. Claim it was you."

It felt wrong to take credit for that kill, that mistake, but he owed it to Cas to try and help him, and since Gabriel had taken off…

"Okay."

"Very well." Paeon spread his hands out and warding lined the room, preventive magic that would keep gods and goddesses out. "Go. I will bring him to you when I am done."

Dean eyed Paeon for several long moments.

"My purpose is healing, not harming. Go, Dean."

"Take good care of him." Then he latched onto the god power and flew.

.-~*~-.

"You have no right to ask _anything_ of us, _Archangel._ "

"You're right." Dean answered without a thought, glancing at Artemis where she stood next to her father. The hall was crowded with the remaining of the surviving Greek gods as well as some of the remaining demigods. The air was alive with power and Dean was positive that in his current condition they could easily turn on him and kill him. "Zeus, the only way we can stop the Judeo-Christian Apocalypse is if I can get my wings back and I can't do it unless I attack Heaven."

"We don't know you, angel. No matter the bond you share with my daughter it changes nothing."

"You do know him." Artemis spoke up, one of the Cŵn Annwn by her side rose next to her as she spoke, drawing the attention of everyone. "You've known him for a long time. When he fled Heaven, he needed a Vessel."

There were angry and startled whispers from all around and Dean had to dodge as a spear was thrown from somewhere behind him.

The dogs responded to the threat with snarls, jumping from Artemis' side and taking up position next to him in a way they hadn't in decades.

"Woah woah woah! Hey! Guys!" Artemis shouted as Dean reached out with their shared power, tugging inward on the dogs' metaphysical leashes.

"Stop!" Silence fell over everyone as the dogs cooperated with him in a way he knew that they only would for Artemis.

_Damn it._

"When he left Heaven he needed help. He came to me." Artemis said slowly coming up next to him. "I agreed. I agreed to help hide him. _I_ made that choice. None of you ever noticed. But he was there. For a long time. He _is_ one of us. Has been for a very long time. I promised him after he resurrected me that he would have us stand behind him." Artemis moved her gaze to where Athena was. "Please."

"Father." Athena spoke up softly. "As appalled as I am by this information, he does have a plan. If anyone is to destroy the world I know you would prefer it to be at your hands."

' _Dean…Debriel…Paeon told me to pray to you…I…Mae's dead…when you're done talking to them…I need to talk to you.'_

"You can't possibly be considering this, Zeus." Poseidon spoke up harshly, glaring violently at Dean with the fury of an ocean in blue eyes.

"Archangel-"

"His name's Debriel, though he goes by the name Dean as a god."

Ares snorted from where he was seated.

" _Debriel._ " Zeus enunciated with hostility. "What would you ask of us? I won't speak for the others. Not this time."

Dean felt all of the eyes in the room on him, the remainder of the Greeks, the last of a religion that had once held strong on its own. A group he'd been part of longer than he'd ever planned for. Gods and goddesses that had done more for, and to, their followers than his Father had in a long time. They'd never hidden under a guise. They'd been honest about what they were.

How many of them would join him and how many of them would die to Heaven to help him save the planet from Lucifer?

"I need your help to attack Heaven." There was an uproar of anger from the crowd and Dean knew he had a lot of work ahead of him. Artemis gave him a look that said she would do what she could to help.

.-~*~-.

Castiel lay on a cloud of nothing as he tried to get his bearings. Everything ached, his limbs felt heavy like lead and he was painfully alone. Samael was gone, _dead_ his mind corrected unhelpfully and his heart broke a bit more. Castiel could feel his limbs again, knew he had full control over them, and yet he couldn't find the will power to do it.

"Hunter." A male voice spoke softly. "Castiel. You must wake up now."

An instinct kicked to life that hadn't in a long time and he found himself sitting upright, grabbing blindly for a weapon before his eyes were even open. His heart thrummed in his ears as he shot his gaze around the room until it landed on a bald male who couldn't be older than twenty.

"Castiel." The man said patiently and he fumbled back off whatever he was laying on. "I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Paeon." _Paeon, Greek mythology, healer of the gods._ The only thing that made him pause was knowing that. _Greek._

_Artemis._

_Dean._

A flash of pain shot through his chest and he grabbed for an invisible blade.

" _Mae_!"

Except he was gone. Samael was gone. _Dead._

" _Castiel._ " His gaze darted to the man and he realized he was shaking violently. _Mae. Oh God. Mae._ "I know you are disoriented. It's reasonable. I need you to bear with me however. You're recovering."

"From what?" He blurted weakly, wrapping his arms around himself absently as he focused his gaze on the pendant on Paeon's neck. It was bronze with the Greek word for doctor etched into the center.

"Tell me what you remember."

"Time." Castiel answered after a moment, running through his memories with less clarity than he was used to. _Then he'd had when Samael was with him._ "We were…going back. To fix things." His mind was foggy with the details. He knew the plan, he understood it. They'd planned on fixing it… everyone. They'd had that blade they stole from Michael's place in Heaven in the backend of the sixteenth century… then Dean had shown up.

"Castiel."

Dean, _and Gabriel._ His brother had been there.

"Dean killed him." He spoke quietly, knowing that was the only explanation. Gabe couldn't have done it. Not after everything they'd been through. "Killed us."

"You were resurrected." Of course he'd been resurrected. In the past, when he shouldn't have been able to be resurrected.

"Why?"

What was the point of living anymore? Everything him and Samael had worked together to fix was over. He should've been dead and in Heaven…or Hell.

"I don't know the answer to that question."

"Where's Dean?"

"Speaking with the gods and goddesses of Greece." Paeon answered blandly and Castiel should not have been as surprised as he was. Of course he knew Dean was a god and he had more recently learned that he was Artemis, but it still took him off guard. Why was he talking with the gods and goddesses? What had changed since…

Castiel recoiled as hands touched his shoulders but the hands didn't move and when he focused his vision Paeon was kneeling in front of him.

"I did not repair the damage to your Soul for you to collapse back in on yourself. Debriel is about to ask all of us to help raid Heaven, you're going to help with something else."

"Why would I do _anything_ for you?" Castiel responded harshly and Paeon tightened the grip on his shoulders painfully.

"You need to redeem yourself before you die, Hunter. All of those twisted things that you did corrupted your Soul. You must fix it before you die or you will become the very thing you've spent your life hunting."

Castiel felt his stomach churning. No. That wasn't right. He couldn't be damned…he'd been helping Mae…

"I know this is a hard thing to accept but it's the truth. With what happened to you as an infant as well as the things you did with that Archangel, your Soul is Damned."

 _Damned._ He was Damned. How? How had he let that happen?

" _Gabe?" Castiel asked his older brother, curling up under the pile of blankets the older boy had managed to get for him._

" _Yeah, Cas?" Gabriel had asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. Back then Cas had missed it. Been too naïve to notice the shivering._

" _Why do demons exist?"_

_Gabe had hesitated for a moment, turning in his spot at the edge of the bed. "Because, Cas. Some people, they try too hard to be good and lose what's important."_

" _What's that?"_

_Gabe had smiled at him. "Family. Love. They try so hard to be good that they forget those things."_

" _That's why demons look like people? They are people?"_

" _Not anymore." Gabe had answered. "Go to sleep, Cassie. I won't let the monsters get you."_

" _Promise?"_

" _I swear."_

A sob escaped his throat as that memory clouded his mind. _Gabe._ Oh he'd messed up. So bad. Mae had tried too hard. He'd tried too hard…

"Where's my brother?"

"Dean only brought you to me. I haven't seen him."

Could he even face Gabriel? After everything he'd done? The answer was simple. No. Not until he found a way to make it up to him. He should've been around more. They should've made it work.

"What do you need me to do?"

Paeon smiled reassuringly.

"I need you to help rally the Hunters."

"For what?" Castiel wasn't sure if he could accomplish such a task, the hunters were always difficult, rarely cooperative, and someone like him didn't stand a chance.

"To help us break into Heaven."

Us. The Greeks. The Greeks were breaking into Heaven. Castiel couldn't begin to comprehend that. Not by a longshot. So he laughed. He laughed hard and long, laughed until laughter turned to sobbing.

_I'm so sorry, Mae._

.-~*~-.

In the end Dean convinced ten of the Greeks to join him. With those came four surviving demigods. Artemis, Apollo, Athena, Ares, Iris, Enyo, Hecate, Tyche, Nemesis, and, to everyone's surprise, Zeus. Ten gods. It was more than he could've asked for and still he wasn't sure it was enough. It had occurred to him far too late that if Michael was spying on him Raphael might've been doing so. So he'd added a ward against Raphael into his Vessel, what was probably too late.

While he wasn't certain it was likely Raphael knew they were coming. Information he'd reluctantly handed to Athena when they gathered at her war chamber.

"Go deal with your Hunter, Dean. I'm sure Paeon is growing tired of him and Artemis no doubt would like her place back."

Dean nodded and took hold of Artemis' power, using it to fly through Olympus until he arrived outside of Artemis' room.

Now came the issue. If he was taking the blame for Samael's death Cas was surely angry with him. Probably pissed. There was no denying that fact. When he pushed open the door he was prepared for anything. Except for the sight of Cas sitting on the couch talking on the phone with Paeon seated next to him with his legs crossed.

"Dean." Paeon greeted and Cas flicked his gaze up to meet his. It was clear he'd cried, that he was broken. It was all there in that one look.

_We did this to him._

"Ten agreed."

"I won't fight with you."

"You're a doctor, not a fighter. I know." Dean had never considered for a moment that he'd come. If only he could get Artemis to agree to the same thing.

"We're working on something that Artemis suggested."

"And you trusted her judgement?"

"She's mentally sound, despite appearances."

"That isn't exactly reassuring, Paeon."

Cas shot him a glare as a voice came over the other line, angry.

"He's a healer, Bobby. Not a threat."

Dean smiled slightly at the exasperated, almost normal tone, in Cas' voice.

"I'm in Olympus, I don't think I can adhere to that request. Listen. I just need you to spread the message. _Please._ "

"Artemis wants help from the Hunters." Dean might've laughed at that, except it wasn't the worst idea in the world. Unlike the gods and goddesses who angels wouldn't have an issue smiting into the next century, hunters were human. It was basic training.

" _They cannot kill you, humans do not possess the necessary weapon nor strength to kill you. If you are ever to find yourself in a situation where a human attempts to kill you, you will not kill them. You will subdue them._ "

"Bobby wishes to speak with you, Dean."

Of course he did. Because Cas had just woken up from a catatonic state and Bobby no doubt doubted his judgement. Of course Dean was concerned at the way he was acting as well, but for a different reason.

Dean held out his hand for the phone that Cas hesitantly handed to him.

"Come with me, Castiel. You need to eat." Paeon said soothingly as he rose to his feet, pulling Cas up with him. The two made their way out of the room and Dean pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hi, Bobby."

" _He's awake."_

"Yeah." Dean slumped into a chair and rubbed the back of his neck. "Paeon patched the damage to his Soul."

" _What kinda damage?"_

"The kind caused by an Archangel possessing you and…" He paused, creating wards on the wall that would prevent Cas from overhearing. "Your soulmate killing you."

Dean smiled slightly when there was no negative reaction to that piece of information . Bobby always proved his reserve of information was higher than looks would suggest.

" _How'd Paeon fix him?"_

"Patched his Soul, now he thinks I was the one who killed him and Samael. Not Gabriel."

" _He sounds wrong. Real wrong."_

"He's never going to be right again. Samael and I made sure of that." Dean stared at the floor for a moment. "I'm sorry."

" _Not me that needs apologizing. I need to hear it from you. This thing he's asked. It's not something I can just ask outta the blue. Especially off the word of Cas."_

"I have to get back into Heaven to restore my Grace, but I'm certain Raphael is going to make sure it's a bitch to do. So yeah, it'd be super helpful if we had hunters with us when we attack Heaven. Angels are less likely to kill hunters because you're human, though I can't make that promise."

" _Alright. I'll make some calls then. I can't promise nothing."_

"I know you can't. Tell them to pray- to call Cas' phone if they need help or want to help."

" _Alright. Dean, do me a favor."_

"Yeah?"

" _Keep an eye on Cas. For Gabe."_

"I was going to anyway." Dean answered. "I'll talk to you later." Then he hung the phone up, staring at the screen for a moment.

' _Sam, Cas is awake. He doesn't remember Gabriel killing him. I know you're trying to escape and I won't stop you, but be careful. If you need help pray to me or Artemis.'_

The other side of that connection was silent for a moment before two words came through. ' _I will.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember that thing I said about one more chapter? I lied. I came to the terrible realization at the start of this chapter that I had way too many loose ends to tie them up in one chapter. So we have a bit more to go. Next chapter will be the end. Except for the epilogue.


	23. 22: The Things We Dread In Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super nervous. This chapter has a lot to do and I'm praying that it will go exactly how it needs to. Of course, this is Supernatural so what's the chance that it goes how anyone expects? The epilogue that I prewrote always has room for rewriting so details might change how I don't plan them to.

It took two weeks for everything to cycle into place. Two exhausting weeks. The hunters that did agree, one that Dean didn't intend on dragging back into everything, were mostly the younger ones. When they, being him, Artemis, and Cas, had met them in person the first time each hunter had insisted on all of the basic tests. Holy water, silver, and to Dean's extreme discomfort a couple demanded that he let them cut him with an angel blade that he tried hard not to wonder how they'd gotten their hands on. Thirteen hunters. Fourteen if he included Cas. Which he wasn't sure was a good idea.

Cas was erratic and jumpy. He wasn't sleeping unless it was induced by him or Paeon, and the only time he touched food was when someone went out of their way to remind him. There were other issues, basic human things that shouldn't have been an issue. Now that he was looking it was hard not to realize what they all should've noticed before. Cas' human functions had been halted by Samael's presence. The necessity to eat hadn't been there and he'd only done it out of habit, when he'd needed to. Dean already knew that when it began Samael had only taken control at night which meant he hadn't slept since he'd been possessed. The rest of it, Dean didn't doubt Samael had made him forget it. Just like he'd made them forget everything else.

Artemis had offered to end it. To kill him. A mercy killing. Cas had explained to them that he couldn't die until he redeemed himself. Until he made up for what him and Samael had done.

Of course, Cas still believed Samael was pure. Not that Dean expected that to change.

So they had a slowly deteriorating Cas, ten gods, four demigods, and thirteen hunters ready to help lay siege on Heaven so he could immobilize one brother and kill the other. Something he didn't want to do. Something that Michael was supposed to do. Was it truly a win if he was forced to battle against Lucifer in the end? Was he not taking Michael's place at the end of the world? The whole reason he'd insisted against the yeses to begin with. If Lucifer and him fought…

It was best that he didn't think about that.

_Fake it till you make it._

"Dean?" Dean turned to see Jo emerging from Artemis' room, looking refreshed and awake.

Jo, the only hunter he hadn't wanted to see show up for this. He knew about her death, about the resurrection done by Samael. Cas had brought it up more than once. She was supposed to be in England. Not here, on the road to death.

"Yeah?" He asked, leaning against the wall.

"If I tell you why I'm coming will you tell the others to back off?"

Dean was surprised that she came to him. If he'd expected her to go to anyone it would've been Rufus or Brianna, an Irish hunter with a heart of gold, not him.

"I can't promise anything. You're about the only hunter that actually trusts us."

"I know." She shifted on her feet uncomfortably. "You know all the angels, right?"

"Yes." Dean answered, watching her with an air of caution, if what he was already suspecting was right…

"I found one. While I was England. Only he was Fallen. I was extremely uncomfortable with it. I mean mom had just died and…well he knew Cas and Gabe. Apparently they prayed to him while I was… dying and he recognized me."

"Balthazar?" Dean asked, confused. He'd been out of contact for so long Dean figured he'd been stranded somewhere Graceless. The fact that he hadn't reached out had made it impossible to begin looking so Dean had assumed he was either dead or taking advantage of his Fall to cut himself off from everything.

"Yeah. Balthazar." She relaxed a bit at his reaction. "He was a bit of a prick but he helped me get started over there. We got…close." She flushed and Dean sighed in exasperation. Where had God gone wrong with Balthazar? All he was supposed to be was a watcher of Earth.

"An angel, Jo?"

"He was a charming dick. Anyways, we spent a lot of time together, friends with benefits deal. I had a job at this local pub and everything was alright, which was weird considering…everything. Then one day I get a phone call from Bal. He tells me to stay away from the hotel."

"So naturally you made a beeline there."

She smiled at him though there was a broken look in her eyes.

"When I got there it was cold. Freezing. I mean it didn't get hot there like it does here but…it was _cold._ The kind of cold that didn't fit with the tank top and skirt I was wearing from work. Not that I cared really. I thought ghost so I grabbed the tire iron we kept by the door and crept through the apartment, followed the sound of voices."

Dean stared at Jo, realizing exactly where this story was going and trying to figure out how the hell she'd escaped.

"There was this girl, this little girl, only her skin was…it looked like someone had dunked her in boiling water... and she had Balthazar pinned to the wall with two angel blades, I couldn't see but I knew. They were in his wings, just holding him there. I could see how much pain he was in and…then she looked at me. The girl. Her eyes glowed with that light. The light I know belongs to angels but…it was wrong. And I knew. It was Lucifer. But when she saw me…she turned on Balthazar. Told him he'd been reckless in sleeping with me." A shiver ran across her as she wrapped her arms around herself. "She wished me luck, said she didn't need to kill me, that the spawn would do it for her."

Dean stared at her in horror as her words sank in. "Jo-"

"I was on birth control. Balthazar told me Heaven branded all of the angels to prevent against that. Even then. We _were_ careful."

 _Accidents happen._ This kind of accident, it wasn't one that could be chalked off as a 'whoops' because it would kill her in the end. Dean held his arms out and she threw herself into him without a thought, hugging him tightly as he pulled her against him.

"Jo, we need-"

"I know, Dean. I know what the Nephilim were. I know why we don't see them anymore. I plan to deal with it, after we deal with Lucifer. She had my mom killed, and she took Balthazar. Her Vessel killed my father, and knowing what I know about him now doesn't change anything."

_A hunter with a revenge streak. You didn't stand a chance, Jo._

"I get why you told me."

"The other hunters might kill me. They could probably get past the whole screwing around with an angel thing but carrying a Nephilim? Might as well write my death warrant now."

"Not just from the hunters. Make sure no one else knows, Jo. I can't protect you from everyone without the plan blowing up in my face."

She pulled away and gripped his forearms, squeezing them and meeting his gaze. "Whatever happens, you make _sure_ Lucifer goes down. You hear me, Dean? Make sure that bastard goes down."

Dean smiled weakly at her. "That's the plan." Kill his brother. Three simple words. Not a simple action.

' _Michael.'_

' _I won't kill her, Dean.'_

' _You're watching, aren't you?'_

' _Yes.'_

"I'm going to go eat."

"Don't eat the pomegranate." He joked dryly and she winked at him before making her way away from him towards the portal to Ares'.

' _That kid will kill her assuming this battle doesn't do it first.'_

' _She died, Dean. Bringing people back always has repercussions. Sooner or later things will right themselves.'_

' _You brought Cas and Gabriel back.'_

Dean waited, wondering if Michael remembered his visit to the past. He already knew the answer. It was stupidly simple.

' _That was different. If their Souls had stayed there it would've changed time. You're pissed at me, aren't you?'_

' _You knew what would happen to Samael.'_

' _Of course I did. I couldn't just go and tell you. I saw what Daddy did to you just for telling me I didn't take Gabriel because of my Soul, imagine what he'd do to me for telling you the endgame for Samael?'_

Dean understood that, unfortunately.

' _Good luck in getting your Grace back. You're going to need it.'_

Dean sighed heavily, rubbing his hands across his face.

' _Any suggestions?'_

' _Middle right and top left wing. He's always favored them.'_

There was something at least. Not that it really mattered. The chance he got close enough to Raphael to target his wings…it was slim.

"Deb!" Artemis appeared in front of him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him down for a hug. "Athena said it's time. We're grouping up in her place." She pulled back and looked over at the door to her room. "Are you bringing Castiel?"

"No." He answered, knowing full well that he was going to piss off a lot of people with that decision.

"He was a good Hunter."

"Now he's a liability. You know it as well as I do."

"Out of everyone here he's the only one with real experience fighting angels. He wants to redeem himself. Keeping him out of this fight is selfish."

"You really think attacking Heaven will help his Soul?"

"Heracles killed countless Innocents and became a god for it. I don't know for sure if it will work, but right now he's bound for your Hell. No good man deserves that."

No man or woman in general deserved that. The current Hell was something of nightmares, not what it should've been. Cas didn't deserve that, what he'd done… there was no real justification for it. Nothing that could hold up. Cas had fucked up and he was paying the ultimate price. And Artemis was right. It was wrong to keep him out of this fight. No matter how little he wanted to.

"I'll get him." Dean said and Artemis grinned at him.

"That's my boy. Athena wants us all bright eyed and bushy tailed in five minutes."

"Make her wait ten."

"I'll do my best." The she vanished and Dean shook his head.

It took a moment for him to muster up the willpower to walk to the door to the bedroom and push it open, Cas was sitting up on the cot staring at the wall.

"Jo's pregnant." Dean sighed, so he'd been eavesdropping.

"Not for long." Dean hated to say it. It sounded so cold, _angelic_ , but it was the only way he could see that pregnancy. A threat, dangerous. They had to kill the Nephilim before it killed the mother. Before it killed Jo.

Assuming she survived this.

"I watched Samael tear a woman apart once. A pregnant woman. We cut into her womb and pulled the fetus out. That was the first time I remembered. Truly remembered." Cas spoke, and he wasn't sure whether it was to him or just speaking. Either way, it was one of those things he hoped Cas didn't bring up later. "Dean, if I die when we go after the angels, I will go to Hell. I know what I did. I don't think I was wrong, but it remains the same."

_The road to Hell is paved with good intentions._

"If I go to Hell, I will break. I'm not strong like Gabe. I'll break. Don't let Gabe see me like that. Promise me, Dean."

"We won't let you go to Hell."

" _Dean._ " Dean flinched away as Cas finally looked at him with pleading eyes. "Promise me."

"I promise." He lied. Dean would never let Cas go to Hell. Once he pushed Raphael out of Heaven's throne, he'd fix things. He _had_ to do it.

"Thank you." Cas said solemnly, rising to his feet shakily. "I am ready."

He wasn't. Nowhere near ready.

.-~*~-.

"If Dean is correct about his training of The One God's children then the hunters are safe from being killed. We are not. Now, he has agreed to give us a ward that will press on the angels to strike to harm, not kill, but in turn he wants us each to make an oath that we will only kill if necessary. We are attacking his family after all and most of them are brainwashed."

There were several muttered complaints among gods and hunters alike. No one liked it. Not in the least. But Dean's offer was a good one.

"What about us?" Amber Lucille, a hunter in her late teens with a history so tragic it was a wonder she was still clearheaded. "You ain't got no guarantees we're safe. Said it yourself. They're brainwashed. So the gods get a little magic trick and we just go in on blind faith?" Cas twitched next to Dean, irritation rolling off the broken hunter in waves.

"No." Dean responded patiently.

"That's where I come in." Artemis piped up. "Hi, I'm Artemis."

"We know." Rufus answered disdainfully.

"Good job, Hunter." She clapped dramatically. "Most of you have been sleeping in my little box but never bothered considering why. Why would a _goddess_ let a _hunter_ under their roof. I know we're Greeks but Olympus has never been welcoming to mortals."

"You're the goddess of hunting." Brianna spoke up, Irish accent standing out in the group of American hunters.

"Among other things. I've always had a weak spot for your kind. The skill it takes to master not just fighting but finding and killing monsters, it's hunting refined. Before I died I used to bless Hunters, gift them with a companion."

"The Caelhounds." Artemis' eyes sparked.

"Brianna, you are a true gift to the world. Back then I would assign two to a hunting family. Caelhounds _can_ harm angels because they're of Heaven but they can only be assigned by an angel and they can only be tied to a _human,_ with me being the exception. Which means the same thing stands for the Hunters present."

Following that was a long session of hunters and gods arguing about the exact terms.

In the end, three of the hunters refused the Caelhounds, which Dean had thought were extinct until Artemis brought them up, and Ares had refused to cooperate on the deal which left them in a bad position with each other.

"It's time." Athena said just as the sun finished rising in LA.

"Good luck." Dean said to everyone as Artemis snapped the hunters away. Her dogs had been slowly increasing in numbers, clambering in from all points on the planet, coming to the call of The Goddess of The Hunt. It was one thing Dean and her had never agreed on. He hated dogs, even when he'd given her the Caelhounds it had been grudgingly. Something about the teeth that all the varying species of hounds possessed always had set him on edge, and now Olympus was filled to the brim with them.

"Lighten up, Deb." Artemis chimed far too cheerfully for what they were about to do.

"I will when I have my wings back." Phantom limbs twitched at his back.

' _Now!'_ A prayer rang through him.

"Go!" He shouted out, following the trail as the gods and goddesses took to Earth.

In all of his existence Dean had never been on the battlefield. His place was in Heaven, _training._ Not killing. This was so very wrong. Everything about it was wrong. The blind fury as angels fought hunters, gods, and dogs alike. Some of them, though not many, saw Dean and dropped their blades, and those ones that did quickly joined his side when he went to them, his Grace brushing them and healing them as they fought towards the gateway. It was bloody and brutal and more than once Dean saw Cas, lost in the bloodlust, breaking the deal, striking to kill, and unlike the other hunters he succeeded on multiple occasions. Dean saw Nemesis fall, watched as angels fled when their brother's turned on them. It was horrible and the worst of it was he wasn't halfway through. _He_ had to make it through, through the portal, into Heaven. It was the only way to stop it but he kept getting caught up in the battle, in trying to protect angels from themselves.

' _Debriel, why did you not call us? Have you forgotten?'_

Dean spun around and watched in wonder as over a hundred angels flew into the crowd.

' _Stand with us, brothers! Debriel is_ not _the enemy! Naomi has clouded your judgement but you know the truth, you have all seen it! Stand down! Raphael is not the leader that he claims to be!'_

' _Hannah.'_

' _Akobel came to me after you infiltrated Heaven the last time. Go, Brother. Take your place as our leader.'_ Each of the angels that had come with her had Artemis' symbol marked into their Vessel, on the shirts, hats, pants, they had painted themselves in the symbol and Dean could feel Artemis' power thrumming with energy it hadn't possessed in years.

_Heaven._

Dean threw himself forward, unable to use Pagan Airlines here and grounded until he could make it into Heaven he was forced to rely on reactions, on immobilizing his opponents while beelining for the gateway into Heaven. Moments before he arrived something rang through his Grace, across the Archangel connection, it was sharp and desperate and Dean stopped dead in his tracks as a familiar female voice spoke.

' _Yes._ '

Lucifer cried his victory for all of Heaven to hear and the angelic portion of the battle stopped cold as Lucifer's voice spoke across the connection.

' _I have won. Miiiichaaael, you there brother? No. You aren't. You abandoned them. Brothers and Sisters, hear me now. I have her. She is mine now. I have my True Vessel. I have Hell. I have Death himself. Now comes the final piece. But first, I have revenge to enact. I'm coming, Samuel. I'm coming for you.'_

' _Artemis!'_ Sam's voice rang through him and he felt Artemis flee the battle in an instant.

' _Keep going, Debriel! Don't you dare stop!'_

.-~*~-.

"Nonononono! Take me back! Take me back now!" Gabriel shouted desperately, slamming on the door. "Sam! God damn it!"

"I can't do that."

Gabriel spun, staring at the dark skinned woman. "What are you? One of Dean's lackies? Where the fuck is he!"

"Dean's attacking Heaven. You should mind your manners, Gabriel."

"Fuck you."

"I'm not an angel."

"You could be God Himself and I'd say the same thing. Fuck. You. Take me back!"

"I'm not taking you back to your death. Debriel would never forgive me."

"You didn't save him."

"I can't pull an angel out of the hands of an Archangel. I'm only a goddess."

A sob escaped him as he collapsed to his knees. ' _Lucifer. Lucifer, if you can hear me. Don't hurt him again. I'm begging you. Not him.'_

"Praying to Lucifer won't work here. Gabriel, I'm sorry for your loss-"

"He isn't _dead_!" Gabriel snapped, shooting his focus upward. "Lucifer isn't going to _kill_ Sam. Who are you?"

"Artemis." She answered and if it weren't for everything else he might've questioned it, as it was, that was all he needed. She was Artemis. Virgin goddess of the hunt and a bunch of other crap.

"Let me go. You _have_ to let me go. I don't know what's between you and Dean but I'm not worth your protection. I'm _not_."

"I'm sorry, Gabriel. I can't. The mini fridge is stocked full of food and drinks, when the battle's over Debriel will come to you."

 _I won't be here._ He thought venomously.

"Fuck off."

Artemis disappeared and Gabriel darted his gaze around. He didn't have a clue where he was but based off the interior it was most likely a motel. Dean was always predictable, a creature of habit, and if habit proved itself true the warding would be invisible ink in the walls.

" _I never meant to be so bad to you!"_ Gabriel jumped as his phone screamed at him and he fumbled for it, stunned that it was actually working in this room. It shouldn't have. Dean would've known better. _"One thing I said I would never do! One look from you and I would fall from-"_

Dean clicked answer and shoved the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

" _Hi, Gabriel."_ Gabriel shivered at that voice, Dalara's voice but _not._ Different than the demon, different than the sister he'd grown up with. " _Sammy says 'hi' too._ " _Lucifer_ added as an afterthought, Sam's scream tearing across the line followed by a sob.

"Leave him alone!" He shouted desperately and Lucifer giggled darkly.

" _But I love hearing him scream. Every scream from him sounds like payment to me for what he did to her."_

His stomach lurched as he fought to hold down his lunch.

" _I fixed his wings you know. Maybe you should thank me._ "

"No."

" _Wrong answer._ " Lucifer responded and another scream sounded through the line. " _Now listen to me, Gabriel. Listen very carefully to my words and think very carefully on how you respond._ "

Gabriel bit his tongue to keep from responding with the anger boiling in him.

" _I have a deal for you. A one time offer. I know Debriel had that pagan take you, locked you up nice and tight so he can talk to you when he's done laying siege to Heaven. I'm an Archangel of my word. No lies. No deception. A deal. You see, as much as I love tearing Sam apart, it just doesn't have the same effect as it did at the start. The psychological. That part can be thrilling as well. But even better? Stopping."_

Gabriel's breathing hitched. Stopping?

" _I know what Debriel thinks he can do and I know Michael has ceased all action against me. I'll win, though. I_ will _win. I have no doubt. I could've done it from your daughter but I waited. So, now comes my offer. I want_ you _. In exchange for the safe freedom of Samuel I want your 'yes'."_

Gabriel felt his blood run cold. "Why?"

" _Wrong answer._ "

"You're asking to wear my skin after spending months going after my sister. I get a fucking answer." The 'yes' was already on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't do it until he knew why. He _had_ to know why.

" _I don't_ need _you. I have Dalara and she's a lovely specimen. Beautiful. Inside and out. I never knew I would ever feel so pure again. I_ want _you because I can get you. I want you because Michael left you to rot. Most importantly, I_ want _you because it will hurt Samuel. Before you get all guilty over it I want you to remember, you were destined to say 'yes' to Michael when you met him. Samuel has always known how your story ended."_

How his story ended, with an Archangel under his skin. Was that really it? Was that all there was for him? Months ago he was ready to say 'yes' to Michael. Now? Could he give himself up to _Lucifer_? She already had Dal.

" _Gaaabriel_. _Time to make a choice. I have better things to do than-"_

"If I…say 'yes', if I agree, when I get there you have to free-"

" _After you give consent."_

Gabriel swallowed heavily. "After I give consent Sam will be freed and you _won't_ kill him."

" _I swear on the memory of Lilith's Soul that I won't kill your angel and that I_ will _free him, after you say 'yes'. Happy?"_

No. He wasn't. His skin was crawling and he felt like he was going to be sick, but Gabriel believed her. Believed the sincerity of the offer. Maybe it was a mistake, and maybe it wasn't, but if he said 'yes'…

_Sam._

Sam didn't deserve to suffer again, not when he had a way to rescue him. Gabriel could handle torture, had been through it countless times, he didn't doubt Lucifer was more creative than Alistair but it was worth it.

"Okay, just…I have to figure out how to get out of here."

" _Pray to Michael. He will help you escape. You have five minutes before I start plucking Sammy's feathers out."_ The line went dead and he began to panic. Five minutes.

' _Michael, it's Gabriel. Lucifer has Sam and-'_

"Of all the stupid, ignorant things we thought you were capable of, this definitely takes the top." Gabriel turned to see _Crowley_ standing there and it clicked in an instant.

There wasn't time to be irritated or angry.

"Let me out of here."

"Why should I? If I do you're just throwing yourself to Lucifer."

"Because if he's possessing me Dean has a better chance against him. Because if the positions were reversed you'd be asking the same thing."

"I wasn't stupid enough to let Fergus get taken away."

"You were stupid enough to let him sell his Soul. Don't you fucking dare, Michael. _Let me out._ "

A smile curled on his lips. "You won't like this, Gabriel. Lucifer is going to make this possession as uncomfortable as she can. As painful as she can."

"Will she keep her promise?"

"Yes."

"Let me out."

A gust of wind tore through the room. "Good luck, Gabriel."

"Promise me something."

"Depends."

"Make sure Sam's okay when it's all over."

"I'll try, but no promises."

' _Lucifer.'_

Something tugged on him and he was flying.

.-~*~-.

Dean used the hoards of angels as cover as he slipped through Heaven. Though he didn't see him, Dean could feel Raphael. His power thrummed through Heaven like a live wire and in his current state there was absolutely no way he'd beat Raphael. The only chance he had was to make it to The Garden, to drive his Grace into the fabric of Heaven and use it as a conduit for his own Grace.

Which could potentially kill him.

' _Deb, we're retreating. We can't follow you into Heaven.'_ Artemis prayed quietly.

' _Thank you. Tell them for me.'_ Dean prayed back.

' _Be careful.'_

As though the words were cursed, seconds later something slammed into his back, heavy and cold.

 _Raphael_. His mind supplied as he switched from stealthy to attack mode in an instant. He couldn't fight Raphael in this state. _Couldn't._ So he latched onto that thin line of power and flew himself forward. Heaven was different than it had been before. Straight and narrow hallways that left his back open and exposed as he fled from Raphael. Quickly he realized that with the new design he was at a major advantage. While he couldn't fly fast enough to get away, Raphael couldn't fly fast enough through the narrow corridors to catch him.

If he was just a bit stronger…

' _Debriel.'_ Artemis prayed to him, a different weight landed on his back a moment later and nearly threw him to the ground. "Don't you dare throw me off!" Legs straddled his back tightly, _Artemis_ was on his back, facing behind him. "Hey, featherbrain!"

"Artemis, get the hell-"

"Are you the kind of coward that beings a Pagan to fight for you, Debriel?"

"He didn't bring me here, asshat! Check this out!" The distinct _clunk_ of Artemis' bow rang through the air above him and Raphael shouted out as the arrow no doubt collided with his face.

Dean wanted to throw Artemis off with all of his being. She wasn't allowed in Heaven and he could feel it draining on her energy. _Killing her._ It wasn't an option to stop. Raphael was right on top of him.

' _Art.'_

' _Don't worry about me, Deb. You've always been a worthy cause to die for.'_

Which was the last thing he wanted to hear.

"I'm going to skin you alive you insufferable little-"

"Sticks and stones, feather brains!" Artemis howled following that, another _thunk_ resounding followed closely by the howls of a Caelhounds. "Arrogance can only get you so far, Raphael. Pride is a deadly sin."

"What are you-" Raphael cried out when snarls tore out behind them. Much closer than the howls.

" _The Caelhounds. Dad wiped them out when he realized they could be used against angels. More importantly, Archangels. This is the last litter."_ Dean had once told her. A lifetime ago.

" _Thank you."_

' _Do good, Deb.'_ Artemis said silently as her weight disappeared from his back.

There was no time to dwell on her, on the battle cry and the angry scream of Raphael as he dove through the doorway to The Garden.

"Debriel." Joshua greeted.

.-~*~-.

Sam sobbed brokenly at the feeling of his wings impaled to the cross. After everything he'd finally accepted the idea he would never get them back, and now that he had them back he wanted nothing more than for them to be gone again.

"Sam." He recoiled as Lucifer's cool voice rolled across him, "Look at me." Sam didn't want to look. To see the girl that had said 'yes'. A scream tore from his throat as Lucifer twisted one of the blades in his wings. " _Sam._ "

Sam forced his eyes open, blinked away the tears that were pouring from them. Lucifer was standing in front of him, to compensate for her Vessel's short height she had taken the liberty of procuring a step stool that allowed her to meet him at eyelevel.

"Your big brother didn't do a very good job at protecting your Soul. He isn't with him. He's currently attacking Heaven."

Sam went rigid, instantly regretting it when the action ripped at his wings, a cry of pain escaped him but that was all he gave into, forcing himself to drown out the pain.

"Dean wouldn't-"

"Oh, but he did. He left your Soul. Warded him against me. Against Raphael. Against demons and angels. But do you know what he forgot? What he didn't consider for a moment?"

"Michael. Why would…" Sam trailed off as it clicked.

"There you go! So right now our biggest brother is chatting with your favorite little human and then he's coming here." Lucifer reached out and trailed a finger around the edge of one of the blades stabbed into his wing and he had to grind his teeth together to keep from crying out. "You have such bland little wings, Samuel. Best thing Debriel ever did to them was cut then off. Maybe I'll follow suit. Chop them off, grow them back. I never considered it before. Seemed like too kind of an act."

"Please-"

"Sh…" Sam flinched as Lucifer's icy Grace wrapped around his throat, settling into place. "I won't hurt you again. Not physically. No. What I have planned next, it's a just punishment. What you deserve."

Sam curled his Grace in on itself, watching as Lucifer tilted her head, a smile crossing her face.

"Ah. There he is." Lucifer snapped her fingers and a surge of frozen Grace tore through the room, seconds passed before Sam felt it. Felt Gabriel. His Soul. His life. Then he was standing there, gaze locked on Sam.

" _I'm sorry."_ Sam fought against the blades in his wings, trying and failing to shout out to his hunter. His Soul.

"Gabriel."

"Dal, I'm sorry we didn't save you."

"Dally's not home right now, Gabriel." Lucifer turned around and met his gaze, cruel smile curling on her lips. "Your Soul made a deal with me. In exchange for your safety, your life, and your freedom. A good deal for you."

_Gabriel, what did you do?_

"I know you're thinking the boring swap trick. You for him. No. My plan is much simpler. Much much simpler. One word."

Sam froze for a single second in his struggling before he ripped at the confines.

 _No. Gabriel, don't._ Please _, don't._

"Gabriel."

The hunter straightened his back, meeting Sam's gaze one final time. "I love you, Sammy." Then he turned, meeting Lucifer's gaze. "Yes." He breathed and Lucifer's Grace flared with excitement as her Form flitted from Dalara Valentine's body.

Sam fought with every ounce of his being, watching in horror as Dalara slumped to the ground, gasping for breath. It was a passing thought as his Grace flared in protest at the possession of his Soul. _No. Gabriel…_ Lucifer stretched out Gabriel's limbs and smiled in triumph.

"Nowhere near as cozy as you, Dally." Dalara struggled to her feet.

"Ya promised."

"We keep our promises, don't we?" Lucifer responded to Dalara with Gabriel's voice. "Only. There's one final thing."

Lucifer flicked her wrist.

Everything that followed was very, very slow.

Too slow. Too painful. It was as though time itself stopped to show the object as it appeared in Lucifer's hand.

_A knife that Samuel recognized from an ancient time was in his hand and Samuel instantly feared the knife. Not because it would harm him. It could not. However, it could harm his Soul. A knife that destroyed Souls._

The blade turned in Lucifer's hand as she turned it, driving it through her own heart. _Through Gabriel._

Because that blade couldn't kill an Archangel.

It destroyed Souls.

"Oops." Lucifer said softly as that light diminished, as Sam screamed with his True Voice.

_Gabriel._

It barely registered then. It didn't matter. All that mattered was Gabriel.

' _I love you.'_

Three words. An explosion of energy as his Soul burned out, as it came apart and tore a screaming Lucifer apart with it.

Gabriel was dead.

.-~*~-.

"Dad isn't going to stop me, Joshua."

"Did I say that?" Joshua stepped to the side, gesturing to The First Tree. "Dad is silent, Debriel. I wish you luck in this task."

Dean stared at Joshua for a long moment before stepping forward, pressing his palms against The First Tree.

His Grace thrummed to life at the connection, as he touched the true center of Heaven. Everything connected, all of Creation tied to a single point in Existence.

_Access to all of Heaven._

His Grace leapt when he realized that it was _all_ there. Every point in Heaven and Hell and Earth.

More than that. The most important piece. The _one thing_ they all needed.

The bar that blocked all of the Souls in their Heavens. It was _here._ As his Grace was revitalized he _knew._ All he needed to do was break it and-

All of Heaven cried out victoriously in unison as they felt it. As they _all_ felt it. The freedom of the Souls. The opening of the Heavens, of Hell, _renewed access._

The victory was short-lived as an explosion rocked across Heaven. A desperate cry of " _Gabriel!_ " above all the other sounds.

The explosion of an Archangel's Grace as Lucifer died.

Then Dean was flying, following Sam's Grace to join the crowd gathered around the place where Lucifer's wings etched into the ground.

_Gabriel's body._

Dean looked to the right to see Dalara Valentine pulling angel blades out of Sam's wings and before he could move to help Sam used to the newly gained motion to rip the remainder of his wings from the cross.

Sam launched himself across the space in an instant to join Gabriel's side.

Dean's heart sank when he saw the demon killing knife next to the body.

Gabriel was gone.

Lucifer was dead.

The Souls were free.

" _Go."_ He ordered to the angels, " _Heal the injured. Check the Souls. Get away from here."_ The angels fled and Dean joined his younger brother's side.

"We were supposed to protect him." Sam said quietly.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy."

Sam didn't answer as he pulled Gabriel's body into his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. This is the last chapter. Please don't hate me. I'm begging you. I did warn at the start that this story wouldn't have a happy ending. I just couldn't end this story with Gabriel's survival. I always knew that the demon killing knife that Sam threw away at the start of FIMWTO would find its way into Lucifer's hands and Gabriel's chest. I also always knew that Gabriel's Soul would destroy Lucifer. That was the reason for the quote.
> 
> I really hope that this chapter came out coherent and closed a lot of those loose ends. I'll talk a bit more at the end of the epilogue.


	24. Epilogue

_There is a single place in Heaven, a dark place. In the place of light, of beauty, sun, innocence, and purity. There is a single dark place. A place drenched in feathers, bodies, silver angel blades, and golden blood. A place where angels go to die, where they perform their final act. The most unforgivable sin in the eyes of humans is the most difficult act in existence for an angel. Breaking off so completely, losing everything, and destroying themselves. Breaking every order, even the one embedded in all creatures, the need to survive. They pull their blade and run it through their own Grace, their equivalent of a human Soul. They destroy themselves._

This dark place, known as The Graveyard, is a place no one speaks of.

As time went by more and more angels found their humans, they went through the pattern, each time it happened. They died, fell, or broke. The younger angels, the ones unburdened, they avoided Earth. They did not want to risk what had happened to their brothers and sisters.

Sam stood before The Graveyard and held his blade in his hand. It hurt. It all hurt. And yet he felt almost nothing. Whatever has been there. Whatever he had been. It was hollow. Empty. Sam understood it now. Something that no one had ever understood before. No one except Lucifer. While the rest of Heaven rejoiced. Celebrated Debriel and the opening of the Heavens, Sam stood there and reflected.

_Their Soul._

A human to stand by them. A human created just for them. A human to complete them. _Their Soul._

An angel would follow that Soul into Damnation and beyond.

_Their Soul._

Angels didn't have a Soul like the humans, Pagans, and the monsters of the night. Not one they housed within their Grace. Yet, they could experience human emotion, feelings. They could feel love and pain that was a thousand times more raw than anything they could experience before humanity was created. Sam _knew_ that. Had seen it and experienced it through Lucifer.

Angels did have Souls.

_Their Soul._

God gave them a Soul. It wasn't a Soul they housed in their Grace, it was housed within a human body. A single human. A human that they would follow to the ends of existence.

_Their Soul._

Sam had been punished for his crime. For killing Lilith. For destroying his brother's Soul.

Sam didn't feel anything. Not really. Just empty, hollow emotion. Something he was supposed to feel, but didn't. It was almost terrifying.

_Gabriel Novak._

Sam remembered him. Remembered golden eyes the same as Michael's wings. Remembered the laughter and stupid self-sacrifice. Remembered the sensation of his deaths. The white hot agony. The pure unadulterated loss.

_His Soul._

Sam sat down, laying his blade across his knees, staring at golden blood and corpses.

_"Now I dream of you. And Hell. And Heaven."_  
_"I am sorry he ruined your Heaven."  
"I don't want to go to Heaven when I die again, Sam. I'd rather suffer in Hell than be trapped there."_

"Sam." Sam didn't look over as Dean sat next to him. "He wouldn't want you to do this."

"I'm not doing anything." He responded hollowly.

"Then give me your blade."

"No."

"Sam-"

"I'm watching The Graveyard. Protecting their memory."

"There won't be anymore, Sammy. Not with Crowley and me making sure the Souls remain protected in their heavens and on Earth."

"And Gabriel? Who's protecting him?" Sam snapped back, words not holding the emotion he tried for. He didn't feel it. Just knew he should.

"I'm sorry, Sam."

"No you aren't. He did what none of you had the gall to do. He used his own Soul to destroy an Archangel. Now he's gone and I have nothing." Sam bit back, shoving his Grace against the Archangel and causing him to throw himself away, nearly landing in The Graveyard.

"Sam..." His brother stared at him in complete horror. "Is that…"

"How Lucifer's Grace felt? After her death? Yes. Hollow and empty and burning cold. Lucifer lost Lilith long ago. At The Dawn of Man. All I feel is nothing. Empty. I just know what I should feel. Eternal undying devotion. Love and agony for his death. I know I should want to destroy the very being of the one responsible for his death." And Sam laughed, a bitter sharp sound. "And isn't that the irony? Longing for his pain and suffering? The one that did it when he in fact did it to himself. Don't begin to pretend you understand. I feel nothing and yet I feel it all. But I'll sit here. For all of eternity I'll sit because my Soul is gone and will never come back. I'll do what I did before. I'll go through the motions. Because what else is there? Death and The Empty. Leave Dean. I'm _done._ "

.-~*~-.

Three weeks later, Cas was sitting next to him.

"What are you doing here, Castiel?" He asked, after hours of silence.

"Standing as the advocate for hunters in Heaven. Dean thinks it'll help purify my soul. We're trying Raphael for his crimes."

"May he burn in Hell for eternity." Sam responded bluntly.

"Did you love him, Sam?"

Sam shut his eyes, remembering the playful smile, affectionate eyes.

_"You are a ridiculous human being."_

_"But you love me." Gabriel stood and crossed the space, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him down for a kiss._

_"Probably." Sam answered, smiling at the pout on Gabriel's lips._

_"I won't push." Sam was grateful. He still wasn't completely sure he loved his Soul. Not yet._

"Yes." He answered. The truth. He had loved Gabriel. Now he felt nothing. Hollow emptiness.

"Did you ever tell him?"

"No." Sam said. Silence. "Do you think he knew?"

"We all knew. Even Samael knew and he…" Cas trailed off, shivering slightly.

"Did you love Samael?" Sam asked, resisting the instinctive desire to drape a wing over his shoulder. He was too cold. Too empty. It would hurt his Soul's brother.

"Not like that. But he didn't deserve to die. He was a child."

"She was a psychotic killer."

"So am I. But he was still a child. A terrified curious child. He never stood a chance."

"You couldn't have saved her."

"You couldn't have saved him." Cas countered and Sam flinched. "You told Dean you feel nothing. It's a lie. You just don't want to feel."

_Their Soul._

"Leave, Castiel."

Later he learned they sentenced Raphael to life as a human.

.-~*~-.

Four years later the fledglings began arriving again. Not just any fledglings either. Names they all knew. Graces they thought they'd never see again.

Sam had retrieved Ion and brought him to Lilly and Dalara. Though he still didn't understand _why_ Dalara was in Heaven; he suspected Crowley and Dean had something to do with it. When he brought Ion to them, he did it because of Gabriel. Because no matter the idiocy in the ordeal, Gabriel loved his sister.

That was the only time he left The Graveyard.

.-~*~-.

"Dean." Michael greeted, grinning at Dean as he quickly dissipated his wings. Twelve wings again. Full strength.

"What do you want?"

"Your Soul." Michael joked much to Dean's annoyance. Elizabeth leaned into his side, narrowing her eyes at Michael with her usual distrust.

"Have you seen the newest fledgling?" Michael asked without preamble, his tone telling him he knew he hadn't.

"Who was it?" He asked, carding his fingers through Elizabeth's hair reassuringly.

"Lucifer. But she only remembers The Early Days."

Dean's eyes widened. "Does-"

"Samandriel is grooming her wings. He's the only one who knows."

Dean placed a kiss on Elizabeth's head. "I'll be back, Liz. Promise." He whispered before spreading his wings and flying to Earth to the one island that Samandriel would have brought him.

And he was there. The smallest he'd ever seen him. So small and young. Wings pure and bright.

"Debriel!" The small angel cried, spreading fresh fully intact white wings and launching himself off the island with all of his might. The wings were unpracticed and uncoordinated, sending the freshly born Lucifer falling forward with a startled and agitated cry. Dean dove down, catching his older brother in a careful hug.

There was no chill to his Grace now. It was light and free and warm.

"Ebril." Lucifer cooed fondly as Dean held him. It was almost frightening. Seeing Lucifer like this. Naïve to everything. All of it. It took a moment before he finally brushed his Grace against his younger brother, a startled gasp escaping him as his Father's might brushed against him.

' _I was wrong, Debriel. About it all. Wrong to punish Lucifer. Wrong to punish the rest of you. What you have done for them is more than I ever have. These are my reparations. The return of your brothers and sisters. Lucifer will never remember her Fall. She will never remember any of it. Lilith is on Earth again. Bring your sister to her. Allow them their happiness that was so brutally taken from them. Samael will be the last of the ones that were lost to return. Treat her right this time. Care for her and love her. She has so much potential. Is so strong. And lastly. For Samuel. There is nothing I can do for him except tell you to wait. As things stand, Gabriel is beyond my power of saving. This will be the last you hear from me, Debriel. You and Michael can rule Heaven and Hell right. When the day comes and she's prepared, give Samael Purgatory. That is her purpose.'_

Debriel held tight onto his brother, unsure whether to curse his Father's name or be grateful that he had apologized. Of course the apology was nearly empty. Lucifer didn't remember how he was wronged. How all of Heaven was tortured because of him.

"Hey, Luce." He said, landing in front of Samandriel with care. The seraph smiled at him, six amber and jasmine wings tucking to his back as Dean returned the baby Lucifer to him.

"What did Father say?"

"Something all of Heaven should hear. I'll share it with everyone later." Dean promised, meeting the gaze of Lucifer. "I'll come back to you later, Lucifer. I promise."

"But, Ebril…"

"I have something important for you. I just have to find it." Dean met Samandriel's gaze. _'Take care of him.'_ He told him then took flight, taking to Earth to find Lilith while he tried to decide how to tell Sam that Lucifer and Lilith were back but Gabriel wouldn't be.

How did Dean tell Sam that without his brother giving into his clear desire to end it all? There had to be a way. There had to be.

.-~*~-.

Sam sat silently, how long had it been? Five? Six years? Probably more. Maybe less.

"Samuel."

"It's Sam." He corrected, glancing over as Crowley landed next to him. Almost immediately he regretted the action, Michael's wings shining brightly with that all too familiar coloring. _Eyes._ "Why are you here?" He all but whispered.

"Angels don't change their names. You'll always be Samuel, just like I'm cursed to be Michael and Fergus is cursed to be Fergus."

"I'm not an angel."

Crowley rolled his eyes. "Oh, sorry I forgot they gave wings to every creature in Heaven."

"I don't have wings." Sam bit back.

"We could argue about your short sighted idiocy all day, Moose. Your wings are there, dull as ever. I'm going to be blunt with you because everyone's favorite is being a coward."

"Dean isn't a coward."

"He is a coward. Unlike me he would rather protect you all then throw you into the deepest pits of Hell, which is commendable, but in this case grating. So I'm going to be blunt. Father resurrected Lucifer and Lilith and more or less told us all to bugger off. I get Hell, Debriel gets Heaven, Samael gets Purgatory, and the world keeps turning."

"He didn't bring Gabriel back." Sam said softly, feeling that final shred of hope snap in an instant. The last fraction of a chance. God had left, for good. It was over.

"I'm sorry, Sam." And it sounded like the Archangel meant it. It didn't make it better. It made it all worse. So much worse. Soft feathers brushed against his back and he flinched away from them. "It's over, Samuel. Truly over. I want you to close your eyes and remember. Remember him. Remember the good. Do it now."

 _Only two of his brothers remained by the time they found the Soul they had searched for forty years. Uriel and Balthazar._  
_The Soul was broken and torn and tattered from thirty years of torture._  
Samuel had never seen something so bright.  
He knew what it meant.  
The way the Soul pulled at him, tugged him towards it, screamed at him to protect it without saying a word. The way it repaired him and reminded him to move on.  
Without a thought Samuel launched himself forward, glowing brighter than he had in years, feeling more alive than he ever had.  
This was what it meant to be a Guardian.  
His Grace sang with power he had never felt before; the demons dove out of the way as Samuel landed before the Soul.  
His Soul.  
"Gabriel Novak."

 _"Say yes, Gabriel. Let me save you."_ Save me before you destroy me. __  
_The Righteous Man crumbled in his arms and whispered one word, a word that, at the time, Samuel did not realize would end the world. "Yes." Gabriel choked out, broken and destroyed._ __  
_With little thought Samuel tightened his hold on the Soul, gripping him and launching himself from Hell. Somewhere in the back of his mind he still heard Lucifer's whispers. He heard Balthazar and Uriel calling after him. It did not matter. Only one thing did._ _  
__"_ Gabriel Novak has been saved! _" He announced joyously as he escaped the iciness of Hell with his Soul, his human._

"Remember him, Samuel. Remember him. Hold onto him. Never let him go." Feathers brushed against his back again, slipping across his spine.

_The older man with the dimmed Soul attempted to stab him and he caught the arm mid swing, twisting it and speaking softly, "You will not kill me." The words were spoken generally though they were targeted at his Soul. He reached over and pressed a finger to the older man's temple, sending him into a deep slumber._ _  
_ _"I'll be damned if I don't try." A knife that Samuel recognized from an ancient time was in his hand and Samuel instantly feared the knife. Not because it would harm him. It could not. However, it could harm his Soul. A knife that destroyed Souls. A hunter no doubt used it on demons. A human would not realize the dangers of the knife. Without a thought the knife appeared in his own hand and he sent it away to the deepest ocean._

"I know Samuel. Don't grieve it. _He_ saved the world." Feathers brushed against his eyes and he realized he was crying, but he didn't open his eyes. "Remember. Remember it all."

And Sam remembered. He remembered it all. Every incident. Every moment. The kisses, the touches, the dream walking, all of it.

" _I love you, Sammy."_

"I love you, Gabriel." He whispered to empty air. Never once did he say it. Never once did he tell him. Why did he never tell him?

"Tell him goodbye." Michael said softly.

"Goodbye, Gabriel." Samuel said, voice breaking.

"Sleep, Samuel." A gasp escaped him as five jagged points pierced the back of his Vessel, tearing forward into his Grace, _feathers_ , some part of him whispered as his cry tore across Heaven. Michael had used the fight feathers to kill him. The useless feathers. "It's over. Rest now. You will see him again in the aether."

' _What have you done!_ _'_ Dean's voice billowed across Heaven. Unlike the pain from an angel blade, the feathers numbed his Grace. Stopped the pain.

 _'Put him out of his misery, Debriel. As you should have done years ago. His fight is_ over _.'_

Samuel collapsed in on himself, dying Grace lighting up with joy for the first time in years as he latched onto those memories.

_Gabriel._

_His Soul._

' _Rest now, son. You did well.'_ An impossible voice whispered, Power caressing him. _'_ _It is over. You are free now.'_

 _Gabriel._ The name rang through him. A plea.

' _Never forget him.'_

 _I want him._ Like nothing else, he wanted him. He wanted his Soul. The man he loved. He needed him. To tell him one last time.

' _I'm sorry, Samuel. He is lost.'_

 _You gave him to me._ His Soul was a gift from Him. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.

' _I know I did. It is out of My power.'_

 _You're God._ Out of His power? That was a lie. He was God. The Creator. He had to be lying.

' _Even I have My limits. Rest now. Rest, son. Michael was not meant to kill you, but this is the way things happened. Rest.'_

Despite his wishes, he did as told, allowing himself to sink into blackness. Allowing himself to rest as the impossible power of God receded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession time; I initially planned for Sam to take his own life but when push came to shove I realized Sam wouldn't do that. Enter deciding how it would happen. I couldn't bring myself to let him continue living, it was just too cruel, Sam was miserable. As my friend who helps me when I get stuck pointed out, Dean wouldn't have killed Sam, not even to put him out of his misery, so who better to do it than Michael? It was a mercy killing that he felt he deserved since everyone else had been rewarded.
> 
> Samael. Ah, Mae. My poor little baby that was a nightmare to write. Confusing as all hell because I thought it was a good idea to have Samael and Samuel. The little mistake that became a bit strange and evil but not really evil. What can I say for her except I miss her already. Sure she liked dissecting things and performing vivisections but she was just a curious little puppy. I mean who doesn't like taking things apart to see how they work?
> 
> Now before the question of why God couldn't bring Gabe back arises, I want to make it clear that this was not an excuse to keep my sad ending while lacing it with happy aspects. That is not the case. I want to make it clear that God never said he couldn't, this next detail might make you hate me, remember what He told Dean? He distinctly said that it was beyond His power as things stood. For Sam to wait. Then when He spoke to Sam He told him that Michael wasn't supposed to kill him. If they'd waited longer God could've brought Gabe back. But they didn't wait. Didn't consider it because they're still angry at God for abandoning them.
> 
> This is not the end, it hurts a lot but it is not the end, though I consider it the real ending. Be sure to read Falling Since I Found You as well as Falling In The Heat of The Moment!
> 
> Fun fact; there was half a smut scene I wrote a couple months back as a sort of side piece for the night before Gabriel said 'yes' to Lucifer. Originally Gabriel's 'yes' was going to be a last ditch plan to kill Lucifer and they all knew Gabriel might die to it, the big factor that changed this set of events was Dean's screwup with his Grace and decision to help. But yes, I wrote some smut to go alongside this story. A skill I really don't possess so it's probably for the best that it'll never see the light of day.
> 
> So thank you all for reading this and sticking through it. I can't say I'm super proud of this work, but I did thoroughly enjoy it. Mae and Cas, Gabe and Sam, Dean and Art, and of course Dal and her utter devotion to those that mattered to her. I could ramble for hours about my thoughts on their relationships but I'll leave it at that.
> 
> See you in the sequels!
> 
> ~ Fay


End file.
